It's Monday May the 5 around 6:53PM and

Hills In a Hurry: Calamari

What if The Hills had no dialogue? What if it just had 50% more awkward silences instead? Pure. Genius.

It's Monday May the 5 around 6:35PM and

Megan Fox In Vancouver, whaaaaaaat?

So while one Vancouverite ruins Scarlett Johansson (honestly I thought Woody Allen had this covered), the current hottest woman in the universe, Megan Fox, is shooting a movie here called Jennifer's Body. This film's plot is ground breaking: "A newly possessed cheerleader turns into a killer who specializes in offing her male classmates. " Diablo Cody is the writer, but I'm not convinced of this combination.

PS: I'd like to know which of you Vancouver jerks let Megan go to a god damned Tim Hortons. Not cool.

It's Monday May the 5 around 6:22PM and

Vancouverite Takes Scar-Jo off Market

You had to know something, sooner or later, would drag me kicking and screaming from my rat hole. I honestly didn't think hearing that Scarlett Johansson getting engaged with Vancouver born Ryan Reynolds would be it, but here we are. One of our own marrying Scarlett and its this bit of smarmy box office poison? It's like marrying the Canadian version of Dane Cook, only funnierless. [Defamer]

It's Tuesday March the 18 around 1:32AM and

Where is the Tenderness

Did watching the Weird Science last night and in particular the end, where Garry and Wyatt drop off Deb and Hilly really spark the first post in like forever? I think it did. Gulp...

It's Monday February the 4 around 9:10AM and

Vancouver Concert Listings: Mardi Gras Edition

(Photo: Monceau)

January hasn’t been the kindest month for the pocketbook. Your credit-card statement from the holidays left you wondering why in the hell you spend large bills on people you can’t stand. Your RRSP account went down like a champagne bottle on New Year’s Eve thanks to the Yanks’ wacky concept on how to pay for a house (or not). And you had to shell out a couple of hundred on those snow tires you should’ve bought four months ago.

Now, Mardi Gras is coming up and you’re in the mood to get funky. But you want to keep it cheap and casual. Luckily, this past weekend one of the best bands going was in town. Had the deadbeat editor been able to post, he would have been able to tell you about this Friday:

"For just $13.50, you can get in Saturday night to see Grace Potter and the Nocturnals. The notoriety of the bluesy Vermont band is rising fast Stateside. Their 2007 release “This is Somewhere” finished sixth in the year-end listener poll at WDST, the coolest radio station you’re not listening to, and this appearance in Vancouver presents the best value you may see in 2008. Don’t pass it up."

Here are the highlights for the Vancouver music scene for February (***-I have my tickets; **-If I could afford it, I’d go; *-Give me a freebie and I’m there, and I’ll buy the first round):

Feb. 5: Editors/Hot Hot Heat, Commodore**
Feb. 5: The Kon Tikis, Railway Club*
Feb. 8: Dustin Bentall, Run GMC, Bourbon*
Feb. 10: Matt Costa, Commodore*
Feb. 11: Jim Bryson, Media Club*
Feb. 11: DJ Shadow and Cut Chemist, Commodore**
Feb. 12: Feist, Orpheum***
Feb. 13: Wyclef Jean, Commodore*
Feb. 14: Sean Costello, The Yale*
Feb. 15: Mika, Orpheum**
Feb. 16: Ladyhawk, Commodore*
Feb. 17: Marilyn Manson, Queen Elizabeth Theatre*
Feb. 18: John Mellencamp, PNE***
Feb. 21: Corb Lund, Commodore**
Feb. 21: Bonobo, Richard’s on Richards*
Feb. 22: The Hives, Commodore*
Feb. 26-27: Johnny Winter, The Yale***
Feb. 27: Gregory Isaacs, Commodore*
Feb. 28-29: Daniel Wesley, Commodore**

It's Monday February the 4 around 9:06AM and

You're Busted!

Don't you just get a kick out of how our cops go all Dirty Harry in their ad campaign against carjackers. If only they'd do a little something to scare the crap out of all those punks on Granville who carry around their handguns as if they were pez dispensers.

(Photo by Julia Pelish)

It's Monday February the 4 around 8:45AM and

Quickie Restuarant Review: Pinkys Steakhouse

From a reader desperate to get us start posting again. Guess what, it worked. Here's a look at the Yaletown Steakhouse, Pinkys from a reader:

"Went to that Pinkys Steakhouse on Saturday. What a douche-a-palooza. The food was alright, but typical Yaletown shite.
If you are going to do a steakhouse, it should probably be better than the Keg and your unique selling feature shouldn't be that you have the cheapest shots of Patron in all of Yaletown. That said, it was good value. $25 for salad, steak/pasta and dessert, but would probably just go to the Keg next time. Still it did have more people in it on that night then I think Lily Kate had all time. PS: how douchy are the wine glasses? I almost refused to drink out of them. "

Love it.