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It's Thursday August the 31 around 9:09PM and
Alright friends, it's the first of the month, so it's time for another playlist! Going to let the music speak for itself. Enjoy!
Listen to The Vancouverite Playlist #9
1) Don't Go Do It - The Rapture
2) La Monogamie - Malajube
3) Western High - Captain
4) Go With It - Pete Yorn
5) Where You Are - Camera
6) The Crane Wife 3 - The Decemberists
7) Time And A Half - Anechoic
8) Will Remind Me - Le Chevre
9) Here's Your Future - The Thermals
10) Summer Dress 2 (Iodine) - Plus/Minus
11) I-Spy - Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly
12) Our Hell - Emily Hains & The Soft Skeleton
Listen to The Vancouverite Playlist #9
It's Thursday August the 31 around 1:53PM and
I'm a little behind, but of course couldn't leave the weekly Georgia Straight feature. So welcome the best and worst of this week's edition of the
Georgia Straight. Theres a lot of action in this issue, so here is the highs and lows as I see it:
5. As always we have to point out the City Single of the Week. This week's victim, Chris is a real winner. A real catch ladies. So many things wrong here, but i'll point out three: 1. photos of you in a wetsuit, 2. you're ideal partner is 5% Barbara Walters? Really? And you haven't found this trophy wife yet? 3. Inviting Che to your dinner party with Elvis, Ghandi, and Da Vinci. I'm sure they'd really appreciate that. Wow.
4. Jurgen Gothe looks at Calona wines. Pretty artwork and under 14 bucks a bottle. I guess there isn't much NOT to like here. Besides wines that should be drunk with hamburgers can't be bad, can they?
3. Naomi Klein is back from her writing break. Chew on these happy little pop-candy bits of wisdom: "disaster apartheid" and "Disaster Capitalism Complex". Somehow me thinks this isn't going to resonate with the people who hated logos.
2. The feature interview with Liberal Leadership candidate Michael Ignatieff is priceless. Disapointed that he isn't "Mephistopheles" and that he can't cause "a candle on the table to burst into flames merely by staring at it intently with his famously blue eyes" the Straight's Terry Glavin had to settle with this:"But he’s really just a right-wing thug who wants the laws changed to allow the police to force confessions out of people by pulling their fingernails out"
1. The Cover. I don't really care what else you put in the newspaper, when you throw a pole dancer on the cover, people read it. it's like magic. Besides it accompanies an article about the myth of promiscuity, which is nice. And you package that with the little fashion rag they hand out with it this week, and you've got yourself some hot.
It's Thursday August the 31 around 1:40PM and
With a name like
Republic, you might think you'll be witness to bearded greeks running around, Plato style. Well, not really at
Republic (958 Granville) you are supposed to get a London style bar experience on Granville. Here's what a member of our double secret review team reports:
"First, they had an amazing cover band. I think its "radio 1" from the cellar. they played killer shit. Second, the place features tonnes of talent in there too and a surprising low percentage of douchebags. The drinks were expensive, but that's to be expected at a place like that but they have epic washrooms as well. it's a pretty cool place."
It's Thursday August the 31 around 11:48AM and
"It's amazing this guy that takes all those lives and decides to save one" this quote from today's Province. The story is regarding the Angel of Death giving a kidney to save a Long Island Resident. Well if that's not the sweetest thing I have ever heard.
Why oh why isn't it mandatory that these life sentence murdering scumbags have to donate at least something back to humanity. Why don't we start with body parts, kidneys, eyes, livers, etc...Take a penny leave a penny right. For every body part they donate they get a little time taken off their sentence or they get the good ice cream or they are promised no touchy touchy from other inmates. Maybe tobacco companies can sponsor this?
It's Thursday August the 31 around 11:17AM and
In order to avoid flushing out the fervor that is Jackson Murphy's TheVancouverite, or discredit it because I am a hateful douche, we have created a cage/category for my ranting and raving. We are pleased to present The Vancouver Idiot. A place where I can say whatever the hell I want and it won't be detrimental to the health of this site. Got a problem with Gay people? Too bad cause I'm posting hard core images...Don't like off color bacon jokes regarding dead hookers? Too bad cause I'm not done with that subject either.
Check out what is pushing this idiot's button's when you have time!
It's Thursday August the 31 around 8:16AM and
Well, it's nearly September kids. That means back to school, a new TV season, and even a new hockey season starting. Here at The Vancouverite, that means some new features. The first of which is this, interviews. This is the first in a series of interviews we're working on. To kick things off for back to school time, we thought that a discussion with Al Cabino, the Internationally renowned sneakerographer would be a good idea.
Cabino's launched a serious campaign to get Nike to make the infamous McFly sneakers from "Back to the Future II" - what he calls the "Holy Grail of sneakers" in fact, in the current issue of Lemon magazine, he's created the world's first spy sneaker, the "Puma Spy", and he's been featured in a bunch of interviews on his quest. Now with the first sneaker magazine in development for launch in late-2006/early-2007, he talks with The Vancouverite about shoes, hockey, Ricky Bobby, and more.
Continue reading "The Vancouverite Interview: Al Cabino, Sneakerographer" »
It's Thursday August the 31 around 7:18AM and
*OMG. This really is like Christmas in August. Neil Patrick Harris guests on Big Brother. Bonus: his amazing pink shirt.
*A double shot of Bob Dylan. First there is his new Apple ad. Sell out? Partial sell out? You be the judge. Then there is the new Dylan video "When the Deal Does Down" staring Scarlett Johannson. Yum. And for no reason whatsoever, Ms SJ's Eternity commercial.
*I could watch this clip forever. Again, Ricky Gervais interviews Chris Martin. [You Tube]
*And I could watch this one all day as well. Kevin Spacey on Inside the Actors Studio.
*Meanwhile Mr. T has words with Superman upon his retirement. Hilarity ensues.
*My God. Have you seen the trailer for the new Kevin Costner and Ashton Kutcher Coast Guard movie? Yes, finally, a Coast Guard movie.
*Why yes, I would like to see Katherine McPhee as Wonder Woman. Yes.
*Another fall movie preview [New York Mag]
*Steve Carrell interviews himself. Double good.
*What the...holy awesome, pigs in blankets are cool again. Well, we're they ever not cool?
*This is something Vancouver desperately needs. A pirate running for office.
*Not a shock. Paris Hilton's debut CD not exactly "hot".
*These are crazy ads for Risk. People still play that?
*Another new Nike spot. Nike Air Max "Defy"
*Of course the King has an agent. Another Burger King ad.
*I've been told that if you don't listen or know of the band Land of Talk, you are not cool. In fact you will die, prematurally alone, bitter.
*And speaking of cool. There is a debate about whether Wolf Parade is cool. I'll side on the cool after seeing this video "I'll Believe in Anything" which has some amazing cannon deuls.
*Your last day of August Moment of Zen: Jem. Why was she truly outrageous exactly? Oh right, they had that crazy super computer.
Okay, that was just fun. But this was more what I was thinking to get you through the end of the day. Monty Python's international Philosophy.
It's Thursday August the 31 around 5:00AM and
Hey it's Thursday. And Thursday's are the new Fridays right?
Head on down to Limerick Junction (315 Carrall) and see Lions in the Street. $5 cover (free before 9pm), cheap drinks and "righteous rock and roll."
It's Thursday August the 31 around 4:44AM and
Metro News fronted this amazing photo this morning from the 2010 Olympic news conference with Prime Minister Harper and Gordon Campbell yesterday. To which we have three comments:
1. What kind of amazing ensemble is Gordo wearing? Is that like a grey-blue tweed?
2. Let me get this straight, the girl, Mellisa Hollingsworth-Richards won a bronze medal for the pant soiling Skeleton and yet she looks just like when Katie Holmes gets to leave the Tom Cruise bunker/mothership. She looks petrified with fear. "Get your hand off my back Mr. Premier"
3. What is Stephen Harper looking at exactly? I think the PM is checking her out. (see: 2)
It's Thursday August the 31 around 3:55AM and
24 Hours ledes with a hysterical photo of a laughing Prime Minister Harper and MP David Emerson matches with a trying to be serious
"What's so funny? It's our money". I'm sure it was Emerson telling a really hilarious joke about the Liberals. And I won't even begin to tell you the awesome that is the
interview article with Star Trek's Leonard Nimoy. That's sweet.
It must have been total hump day blues yesterday at The Sun. You can actually read what Labour day means by judging the half-assedness of the cover. They just threw a bunch of stuff on the cover and hoped something would stick. BC Hydro notes that 18,000 homes are using "suspiciously high amounts of electricity" a sign that might denote a grow op. The paper also covers the government bail out of the 2010 Olympics.
The Province tries to milk ever drop out of this. They paint the water shortage in Tofino in near Katrina-esque proportions of catastrophe. Seriously weddings are being cancelled people but thankfully in the darkest moment you have Crazy Ron of Tough Guy Sushi who vows to keep his doors open. I know you're asking, where is Anderson Cooper when we need him most. At least they make one strong case, that just as with Katrina, the government is totally useless. Michael Smyth adds, "Earth to Tofino: If you allow huge hotels and resorts to locate in your town, they are going to want nice fresh water in their hot tubs.That's not rocket science. That's just common sense -- the lack of which is now costing this town dearly"
It's Wednesday August the 30 around 3:29PM and
If shooting a bear is okay if it is endangering the public, then why can't it be open season on aggressive panhandlers, violent youths or everything else that threatens the public. I can understand shooting a bear because millions(est) of Canadians have died from bear attacks every year. I mean have you checked out the killing fields or mass burials on the island? I cry every time I pass a Spirit Bear because it reminds me of all those that died at the paws of these ferocious whack jobs.
I'm no animal rights nut by any means, but bears aren't eating our taxes, killing tourism, stealing(well at least not your car) or threatening people cuz they don't got's no spare change. A bear could get ornery if you have no spare twinkies or bread though. But why can't cops just start firing away at these few outliers that give panhandling or youths such a bad name?
It's Wednesday August the 30 around 9:43AM and
Today's
Globe and Mail has a long piece by Rod Mickleburgh on Liberal leadership candidate and Vancouver MP the one, the only, Hedy Fry. Ahhh...Godd Times.
Here's two highlights:
Hedy Fry and her magical 15-year plans:
"Grand 15-year plans, with goals evaluated every three years, are needed to tackle three major challenges: productivity and competitiveness, environmental degradation and sustainable health care."
Please, please, please, please, could we please have her as the leader? It would be so sweet. 15-year plans? My god that is riduclously insane.
And this part from the writer:
"That kind of reaction is far from the image of Ms. Fry often found in the media, where, for the past five years, she has had to bear a heavy cross, of the burning variety."
This is funny stuff since he throws out this clever little line only to then spend the next 9 paragraphs on the issue.
Bonus Points:
In the article former campaign foe Svend Robinson declaring the Fry campaign "the ultimate kamikaze mission".
It's Wednesday August the 30 around 6:03AM and
24 Hours has a pretty amazing double shot on the cover. While trying to
wring the last droplets of news out of the man seems to have not had anything to do with the Jonbenet Ramsey case but has a local connection. Of course that is places beside the story about the
Gastown gallery that sells famous reproductions. See, it's a very subtle commentary on the art of the fake. So clever 24 Hours. So clever.
The Sun gleefully reports that the feds and Victoria are ponying up another $110 million for the Olympics and that Prime Minister Harper and Premier Gordon Campbell will milk every penny of that starting with a press conference today. Can you feel the excitement? Pretty sure this article about Dave Nonis and the Canucks says that all his ideas were stolen from Radio Talk Show Call In listeners.
The Province could have probably just reprinted yesterday's paper. It's that useless today. It looks like they wanted to have the cover story on the tv Show Weeds, but had to go with the bleeding lede instead. Meanwhile they could have had more fun with the news that Travel + Leisure magazine listed Vancouver in its top ten hot destinations while Toronto was unlisted. Vancouver listed as No. 6 behind New York, San Francisco, Chicago, Charleston and Santa Fe.
It's Tuesday August the 29 around 3:31PM and
I'm just kidding. If you can tell me anything on this planet that is more of a baby making deterrent than the PNE, I will buy you a Slurpee. These parents with their 23 kids all screaming and jumping in and out of line and trying to steal from the vendors and fighting and screaming more and then trying to break things and even, save me Jesus, poking a baby goat in the eye on purpose...Yeah I witnessed all of this happening. There is also the fact you would need to re-mortgage just to afford a decent visit with 2 kids, let alone 50 or whatever number of children these psycho's had made...
I feel bad though because there is lots to keep someone entertained and if you can see everything it is so worth every penny. Maybe they have one day where kids between 6 and 20 are not permitted inside the park?
It's Tuesday August the 29 around 8:39AM and
*Last week we mentioned that actress Tricia Helfer was peddling wine at the Cambie & 39th Ave liquor store. And in today's Metro Warren Frey has the photo to prove she actually was there.
*Here's Nicole Kidman, eh.
*For your viewing pleasure: Nike's new ad with Maria Sharapova. I always like Errol Morris stuff, his new Lexus spots are pretty sweet. Yet another really creepy Burger King spot for chicken fries. Meanwhile Angelina shills for Shiseido. Or at least her cyborg body double robot. And tell me this BMW spot isn't just a little bit of awesome.
*A cheat sheet on what not to watch at the theatres this fall.
*Aparently this new Jean Claude Van Damme movie isn't on the list.
*And just so you, watch the trailer for Little Children. It's going to be on the must watch this fall list. Okay.
*How cute. Toronto gets its own kind of uncool guys website, XYYZ. And try to claim Cary Grant as their Jesus. Shameless. Note to aspiring Vancouverites, please don't do this here. Please don't.
*Sincerity really is the new new irony. [The Poor Bastard]
*And while we are waiting for the Lost season to start. Here's some extra creepy Hanso info.
*Your moment of delicious Zen: Best of Celebrity Jeopardy with some White Stripes thrown in for no reason.
It's Tuesday August the 29 around 8:32AM and
I'm not against the idea of having the current education system sprinkled with a little fairy dust. Of all my gay friends now, and my sister even, I look at pictures of way back when and can see it blossoming even as preteens. It's not a choice or an infection or something you pick up in school. Though I am sure there is those just so ugly that the opposite sex wants nothing to do with them, otherwise I think you are born with it. Which I guess in some people's minds is like having a pre-purchased one way ticket to hell.
Continue reading ""I Totally Bombed on this Gay Exam"" »
It's Tuesday August the 29 around 8:02AM and
I think it is safe to asume that
The Province has the best of the front pages this morning. It's like a movie tagline.
"35 guns in 21 Days". Abbotsford. Totally the new in gangland region. Of course what they really want to cover is whether former
Canucks coach Marc Crawford and former Canucks GM Brian Burke are freinds now that they are competing as rivals in SoCal. And Michael Smyth says that the
Greens are going to make inroads in next election. Really this time.
Although over at 24 Hours, like rather scared looking cleaner with the tongs picking up needles is pretty nice, but the headline of "Making Eastside Shine" is just not hard hitting enough. It's a good thing they don't have to sell this paper on a daily basis. And knowing that Renee Zelleweger is not only the kind of star that signs autographs, but she'll do it when she's in a dirty food court binge eating too. Let's see you top that Alba!
Over at The Sun they seem to focus on the fact that The Storyeum is bankrupt. No real surprise there really, if you've ever been. The editorial department likes the new leader of the Green party, but not enough to really think that the Greens will actually win anything. Take that Smyth! So luke warm I guess would be their summary judgement. Filling out the trio of hard hitting features, would the news that according to The Sun, the era of the metrosexual is dead, but not really.
It's Monday August the 28 around 2:40PM and
Aye Carumba! Another podcast? I'm as surprised as you are. And I think with this one, I've almost mastered that intimate feeling and acoustics of a nice streetside self cleaniing toilet. See, we go all out with high quality technical audio here friends. So cozy up to your headphones and wifi system, and pour yourself a mojito and relax. Not too relaxed though, remember, it sounds like your in a toilet....
In today's episode we talk about Matthew Good and his Death of Vancouver essay, Louis Vuitton, Andy Garcia's 'The Lost City', Saloons, Frank Sinatra in Paris, and a really nice and special musical treat.
You can listen to this third episode podcast right here. (28:44)
Show Liner Notes (Some links to some of things we talk about):
*"Hogan's Heroes"
*Death of Vancouver [Matthew Good]
*Louis Vuitton sneakers
*The Lost City [Magnolia Pictures]
*The Lost City Trailer
*The Lost City DVD [Amazon.com]
*The Lost City Soundtrack [Amazon.ca]
*"The Quest for the Perfect Pub" [The Tyee]
*Sinatra and Sextet Live in Paris [Amazon.ca]
*Jamie Cullum
It's Monday August the 28 around 2:05PM and
Uh Oh, looks like my secret love of
Saved By The Bell and pink cardigans is now public. In Misty Harris' CanWest column today
"Forget Cristal, for preppies in the know it's all about Tea Partay" on the crazy
Smirnoff Tea Partay video The Vancouverite makes an appearence.
"The video 'is the single best thing to happen to preppies since A.C. Slater met Zach Morris at Bayside High,' says the 32-year-old blogger, referring to the early-1990s sitcom Saved by the Bell.
'It makes me want to be eating finger sandwiches with (conservative Family Ties character) Alex P. Keaton and girls named Buffy and Princess in our matching pink cardigans and getting completely smashed on the stuff,' he says."
Wow. Did I say that? PS: Holla Misty.
It's Monday August the 28 around 7:48AM and
*It's a few weeks old but this The Seattle Times article about touring Granville Island with Rob Feenie is a love letter to the Oyama Sausage Company. Yum.
*The Globe and Mail spent it's Vancouver space on Saturday talking about how cool Gastown is now. If we were Gawker, we might have to call Gastown officially over.
*Wired Magazine talks about how sweet Terry McBride, CEO of Nettwerk Music, is. But i'm really not pleased with him posing with a damned Spirit Bear.
*The Tyee is searching for the perfect pub in Vancouver. And the Billy Bishop Legion does seem to fit the bill quite amazingly.
*Also from Saturday was Lynne McNamara's column. In short: Mark Walberg went to Sanafir Pierce Brosnan tried Glowbal, Michael Buble to Afterglow, and aparently Nicole Kidman rolled at Mortons for Australian Lobsters and bubbly.
*Sweet Spot reviews Figmint saying, " Our West Coast persona is now sullied with NYC influence - we love it" and Flying Tiger
It's Monday August the 28 around 7:27AM and
*It must be some sort of Vancouver blogs sweeps week as Miss 604 posts from the beach. [Miss 604]
*A look at Figmint, Vancouver's latest eatery. "My electric toothbrush is still battling with the remnants of many a honeycomb, fig, and pecorino popper, but I’d gladly take down another fifty before lunch." [Waiterblog]
*Just before leaving Vancouver Matthew Good leaves us with his take on the "Death of Vancouver" [Matthew Good]
*Oh god, Lainey misses Sex and the City and Friends. Not good. Keep reading to hear about the Emmy's. Worth it just for the Katherine Heigl section. And personally the idea of Jeremy Piven throwing down an ascott last night kills me. [Lainey Gossip]
It's Monday August the 28 around 7:24AM and
Because I'm hooked on this, you must have to be too.
Fall in love with Banana Phone (aka Badgerphone).
Sorry. It's catchy.
It's Monday August the 28 around 6:58AM and
Because somebody has to read Craigslist Vancouver. Here's some things worth looking at.
6. Apparently our patios suck. "Rant: Vancouver The Anti Patio Town":
"what is it with vancouver????? there's hardly a patio in the downtown area that is decent, although steamworks has put some considerable work on theirs since I've left. this is a beautiful city, and i would enjoy having a few meal or drinks on a nice patio. i've heard the reason there are limits to this is because vancouver has harsh bylaws against using sidewalk area. is this true???"
Yeah, but when Steamworks is the benchmark, come on how can we take this poster seriously?
5. "To the piece of shit who hit my car....":
"Yes, this post is dedicated to the steaming pool of putrid corn-burrito diarrhea who did a hit-and-run my parked car at god knows what hour."
Does Taco Time know that this guy is calling people burritos? Watch out.
4. "Rant Trendy Slickity Jims on Trendy Main St"
"Rude service and the food is overpriced but hey atleast its a trendy place to eat trendy food on "TRENDY" Main Street. Did I mention I saw a trendy cockroach dressed in trendy ARK clothing wandering in the bathroom. "
Ahhhh...Main st. Home of the trendy cockroach.
3. "RANT: Stupid mini motorcycles"
"They look like the powerwheels a 5 year old would ride on so why the @#$% do I see adult men riding them?! There are 2 that I know of in my neighbourhood and one of the guys actually attempted to pick me up from it! NO! I'd be more impressed by a guy on a bicycle. Save your money and buy a real bike! "
Wow, people are still rolling on mini-bikes. So over.
2. A double shot of Grouse Grind rants: "Fatties on the Grouse Grind", and "grouse grind gong show".
" fat people: you are too slow and take up too much room on the trail. furthermore isn't it dangerous for you to be up there? who has the strength to carry you back down the mountain when you go into cardiac arrest from over-exerting yourself? "
Booo Hooo!
1. "PNE"
"Pancake breakfast - Little did I know, it was actually just a pancake breakfast meaning I paid $3 for two pancakes. That's right, $3 for 2 pancakes unfortunately I made the mistake of thinking pancake breakfast meant it was a breakfast with pancakes ala Stampede pancake breakfast. I may get flamed for ranting about this because it was for charity blah blah blah, but seriously, anyone been to Bon's off broadway?"
See, we're not the only ones who think the PNE is lame.
It's Monday August the 28 around 6:31AM and
I am pretty well known in Taco circles. Back in 1998 I was on a road to eating double digit tacos in one sitting. I had just finished number 10 and wanted more and even though I was now blind I had the 11th put together anyways. Since I couldn't quite get a visual on it or chew anymore, I had it juiced. I drank it. Oh yeah I drank it hard.
In Today's Province is the riveting story of how one third rate conglomerate is trying to bully the little guy. This story is only going to deal bad press to Taco Time for picking on a local shop. I can understand trying to protect a slogan like "Taco Time, where the tacos are so god damn fantastic!". But by taking the word Taco and slapping it on the day of the week it sounds best with shouldn't be trademarked. Newsflash Taco Time, it hasn't been working for you at all. What might work is mopping your disgusting floors or make a Taco that tastes half decent. Oh and Taco Time perhaps you check out what happens when you google Taco Tuesdays..
And to Casa de Amigos, maybe do "Taco Chewsday" or even better and at no charge, "Casa de Amigos, where the tacos are so god damn fantastic!". .
Continue reading "Taco Wars" »
It's Monday August the 28 around 2:49AM and
The Sun is typical Monday fair. Let's put Tiger Woods on the cover - that will sell, and take up a lot of room too. The big local story on the front is about
NPA Councillor Kim Capri who wants crime crackdowns too. So to the people who urinate in the streets or litter, watch out!
I'm kind of in love with the 24 Hours this morning. Sure there is the serious headline of "Violent Crime Targeted" and how Vancouver Police are set to do something about it. But the whole picture of a women enjoying a Caffe Artiangiano seems to suggest a, "whatever cops" attitude. In fact the paper seems more put out by the end to Taco Tuesday's at a Mexican restaurant. So, at least they have their priorities straight. Coffee, Crime, Taco injustice.
In The Province kind of just says, screw you 24 Hours, "we're putting this taco story right on the front". Take that! And then we're going to call the story, "Eatery has beef overslogan." Wow, no taco reference in the title. What a shame.
It's Friday August the 25 around 11:40AM and
Tonight - August 25: Go to a bar. Get totally hammered on beer. Then show up for a showing of Beerfest. Sneak beer in so you don't lose your buzz. The folks at the Paramount will love you. Hilariousness.
Saturday - August 26: Experience the secrets of ancient Egypt they way it was meant to be seen, in full on LEGO wonder. Yes, if you try to take a girl to this, she'll laugh her ass off at you LEGO geeks. Fun right?[Telus Science World]
Sunday - Augyst 27: The Emmy Awards, duh. Here's your score card. Everytime Conan O'Brien doesn't get a laugh take a drink. Or you could go see Cat Power at Richards on Richards for like the whole day, whatever.
It's Friday August the 25 around 10:12AM and
Can you believe it is Friday again? It is, trust me, and it's time for your afternoon clip show of the best and worst, the hot and the cold during this delicious week. We recomend you enjoy this with a fun dip, and roll the clips, Chico:
HOT
1. Mike Harcourt. That shirt he wore this week will echo for all eternity. Like we said earlier, this bitch is red hot. PS: Just checked it out, www.harcourt2009.com is totally available. So lets get this Harcourt for Premier Boogie train out of the station again and rolling.
2. Province columnist Michael Smyth. Not only did he bring us a great Lorne Mayencourt quote early in the week, he then used both "boner" and "breakfast fatty" in his Thursday opus.
3. Tacos. Contributing Editor Luke reminded us that Tacos are nature's 2nd most perfect food after the banana.
4. Tricia Helfer. Don't care that she is doing personal appearences to shill wine. Don't care one bit.
5. Old Miami Vice. If you don't know why I can't help you.
COLD
1. The PNE. Check out the podcast for more details on this week's biggest popsicle of non-hot.
2. KC The Kettle Creek Bear, The PNE mascot. As Gus Greeper added, They are like the Spirit Bears come to life.
Totally creepy!
3. Liberal Caucus Retreat. We just like saying Caucus! But seriously Bill Graham's press releases enjoy about the same amount of reality as Tom Cruise from his Scientology bunker.
4. Third week in a row, our Jessica Alba has been chilly enough to garner a spot on the list. Enjoy sweetie.
5. Yellow Tail. Two times the famous plonk from Aussieland was mentioned this week. And one mention was totally a god awful a reminder of why this wine should be banned. Serving suggestion: with cowboy hat, and trip to PNE in Camaro = Good times.
It's Friday August the 25 around 10:11AM and
It's Friday kids. So chances are you are surfing the net trying to kill time before 5:00, okay probably 4:00. So why not click some links and enjoy?
*Wow this shirt is hella good. Nick La Che.
*Have you missed the invasion of Youtube by P-Diddy or whatever we are supposed to call him? He is a genius. First his call out to the bacon, egg, and applesauce breakfast of champions, then today he's just walking around New York telling people they can dance again. And I'm pretty sure he gave me a shout out. I've been to NYC.
*Could I go a day without picking on Jessica Alba? Nope. This clip of Guillermo at the Teen Choice awards is amazing. Especially when you have to listen to Alba. Guillermo rules.
*Saved by the Bell reference #1: Could I go even one more link without picking on Jessica Alba. Ha ha. No. The Superficial disects a creepy Alba meeting with Fez. "I didn't even know it was possible to make Jessica Alba look this awkward, let alone dressed like she just finished shooting an episode of Saved by the Bell."
*This new Robin Williams movie "Man of the Year" looks almost funny.
*Saved by the Bell reference #2: Mario Lopez on Dancing with the Stars photo. Gulp.
*Only about 5 weeks until Lost season starts. Enjoy some Apollo Candy from the Hanzo Foundation while you wait.
*Miss 604 is going to Matt Good's house for his private performance tonight.
*There is something about Old Miller Beer ads, that make you want to have a cold one non? [Deadspin]
*Two questions. 1. Who would want Britney Spears Egg Sandwich and Kfed's Corn Dog? 2. What kind of a music industry event has those two items on the menu? Diddy would crap himself. [eBay]
*How great does this show look? Bo Derek, Morgan Fairchild. Fashion House.
*Cutest McDonald's Ad, ever. Sorry, make that cutest girl in McDonald's ad, ever.
*Without comment, I give you Record Store Cats.
*How on earth can you get an invite to Susan Natalie's dinner parties? I need more fabulosity for sure.
*This is a shameless vlog including bikini on beach.
*In case you'd rather not see the movie, you can get the full transcript of Snakes on a Plane here. PS: Snakes is still trailing Ricky Bobby.
*Your Friday On the West Coast Afternoon Double Shot of Zen: Rhinestone Cowboy and the preview to The Third Man.
It's Friday August the 25 around 7:02AM and
Good news for your Friday people, somehow we managed to create a second episode of things no one actually cares to hear about. Our
pilot podcast episode was met with some minor enthusiasm. I think this comment nicely summed up the technical ineptitude of our podcast, "despite the reliance on styrofoam cups this was pretty cool. like you whispering close in my ear inside a jiffy-john." I love a good jiffy-john. So, go ahead, get some Pinot Noir going, a couple of
Mehari's and let me whisper sweet nothings into your ears.
This week we talk about The PNE, Mike Harcourt's hot shirt, The Liberal Caucus Meeting, Ricky Gervais Show, Miami Vice, Kevin Smith's review of Step Up, and The Submarines.
You can listen to this second episode podcast right here. (25:19)
Show Liner Notes (Some links to some of things we talk about):
*The PNE
*Mike Harcourt. Tanned and Ready to Run?
*Liberal Press Release: "Federal Liberal Caucus Retreat Reinvigorates Party: Bill Graham"
*Ricky Gervais
*Watch the Izzy and Crocket scene at YouTube. Don Johnson's shorts are amazing. Watch them!
*And definetly watch this three minutes of sexy Miami Vice cool to the soothing jams of Phil Collins.
*Kevin Smith universe
*Step Up
*The Submarines
It's Friday August the 25 around 6:37AM and
In 24 Hours this morning, I see this ad, with Tricia Helfer promising a "beautiful woman & a sensual wine" and thought wow, that's crazy. So for the geeky oenephile this may be the closest you get to a babe like Tricia. Sure she's hocking wine, but you could meet her. Go forth and prosper. Don't forget your Cylon suits!
It's Friday August the 25 around 5:45AM and
24 Hours goes undercover today to give you a
sneak peak into how a star lives. If my weekend of being a star consisted solely of staying in the Opus, Eating at Elixir, getting on a freakn' train to Whistler, and then staying up there to dine at Rics Grill I would go mental. That is how you're a star? I do like how their cover headline of
"Burning Questions" about the house fire that killed someone in kits matches with the other headline
"Wanna Live like a star?" PS: I'm pretty sure that while they talk about Veuve Clicquot, Moet & Chandon and Mondavi/Rothschild 'Opus One' 1987 the cover shows people drinking what looks like
Ceder Creek. Nothing wrong with that, but this whole thing is total BS.
The Vancouver Sun isn't living large, but they're tackling the trifecta of bad ESL students, counterfeit money stings, and racist Survivor
The Province can barely contain themselves today. On the back is a french kiss to new Canuck defensemen Willie Mitchell. "Willie Mitchell looks like The Joker. Whether skating with his new teammates or during locker-room banter, the Canucks defenceman has had a wide grin plastered on his mug -- much like Jack Nicholson in Batman." Then on the front they nearly have a heart attack about a wife beater who may be coming to B.C. Granted the guy is a monster, but they kind of blew their load on this cover. And just for fun, people are camping in Stanley Park.
Metro Vancouver reviews Sanafir. The reviewer Claudia Kwan gives us this "Sanafir has earned my first-evr five star rating and exhausted my stock of superlatives starting with "s"." I can think of one, suck up. Which I find hard to believe given the many comments I've heard about its outrageously high douchebag count.
It's Thursday August the 24 around 11:54AM and
In typical Hollywood fashion something secret was leaked to the public. It appears to be generating hype for the movie which, as we saw in SOAP, doesn't mean jack shit.
The movie in question is Transformers. The issue is that pictures of Optimus Prime we’re leaked to the net and fans are outraged by what they are seeing. They have since started up a petition in hopes director Michael Bay changes the lead Transformers image. Apparently the leaked image showed Optimus as being an old fat guy in a red cardboard box.( at right ) From one concerned Transformers fan:
“It feels like they aren’t taking Optimus serious. He has saved us from the Decepticons time after time and now he is being ridiculed. Mr. Bay obviously doesn't know that Optimus has real lasers and when he does land here it will be hell on earth, or at least hell in Mr. Bay's house."
What little faith the Hollywood suits have in this movie speaks for itself by putting Bay in charge. Dare I say all the good directors passed on this one. The trailer makes me pee my pants though. Autobots, Out.
*Update* My buddy Jon passed on this hot link to Transformers pics from the movie, supposedly from the movie. I just transformed my underwear into underwear full of crap! Check it out here, the pics, not the underwear.
It's Thursday August the 24 around 9:23AM and
Welcome the best and worst of this week's edition of the Georgia Straight. The cover gives us a look at fish farming which is the kind of subject that makes us want to have a nap. Actually this late August edition of the Straight, is kind of nap inducing in general. But there are a few things worth mentioning:
5. Dear Single of the Week Terry. There's a couple of reasons you're single. Those ridiculous jeans, sucking up to the paper featuring you, and that one of your favorite songs is "Here for a Good Time". PS: Please stop going to Browns. Thank you.
4. A defense of Paris Hilton. Repeat: A defense of Paris Hilton. For no reason we can fathom.
3. I'll bet former radio king Raif Mare is rolling around in few copies of the Straight like a giggling little school girl as we speak with this week's focus and cover story on fish farming.
2. Thank the freakn' maker. Jurgen Gothe talks about pinots. Look, there's nothing better than pinot, and then when you even mention lamb you are golden. Mmmmm....lamb.
1. In the Payback time you get a virual laundry list of smug new words to use including pulchritudinous. Which is nice.
It's Thursday August the 24 around 7:18AM and
The first place anyone goes to get an answer is the mysterious Internet. You want to find a song by that new band or a recipe or a new killer blog like this one, you go to Google, or yahoo or whatever. So why haven't movie executives figured this out? That when someone wants news on a movie, they type in the movie title. Well what happens if your movie's title is Invincible? You contend with the other 200 movies made with Invincible in or as the sole title.
This new one looks to be the new mans tear jerker though. The kind of movie that fills a man with that warm fuzzy feeling and reminds him he isn't as tough as he thinks he is, that he is just a big sissy girl. Invincible tells the story of a Jewish strongman that performs in Berlin as the blond Aryan hero Siegfried. It's a true story and is based on the life and misadventures of Zishe Breitbart, a Jewish expert martial artist's son from China. This is all taking place during Hitlers reign as chief douche so our Jewish hero is torn between being true to himself and the Philadelphia Eagles fans or using his strengths portraying a Fighting Dragon.
This movie will be released this Friday and should be the sleeper hit of the summer, mostly because everything else blew. Mark Wahlberg portrays a Football player opposite Billy Zane as Os and together they fight the Shadowmen. Directed by Sau Leung 'Blacky' Ko.
It's Thursday August the 24 around 7:00AM and
The Province goes with the first in what will be a long series of
Matt Naslund covers. Apparently he's got plenty to prove. Blah, Blah. The other cover, the front page, is about
working wives and Mr. Moms.
Michael Smyth begins his column with this, "As another day brings another Olympics budget boner..." I'm sorry did he just say...Nevermind, he goes on, "this time it's an internal fight over who will pay for an expanded athletes village -- the 2010 pessimists and critics are more stoked than a snowboarder who just smoked a breakfast fatty." Wow. Smyth's on fire.
The Sun goes pretty big with those meddlesome Alaskans who passed a new tax on cruiseship passengers. I personally can't stand quiet, but this Right to Quiet organization is hilarious. Oh my god, they actually have a story about the guy who wears the KC the PNE mascot bear suit. I could have done without knowing this: ""Guys usually think it's a girl inside the suit because I'm so gentle with the kids," he said. "So then guys run up and try to pinch my butt. But the joke's on them -- if I took my head off, they would probably vomit."
I have to hand it to 24 Hours for putting the crying baby on the cover. The magic that is a crying baby in Canucks jersey coming to an early conclusion that his brush with the Stanley Cup is as close as the team as going to get is priceless.
It's Thursday August the 24 around 2:07AM and
Wowzee. When Andrew Morrison rolls, he rolls big y'all. The intrepid WaiterBlogger goes out with a bang offering a treasure trove of Vancouver Restaurant Scene news (a 2nd Nuba? Yet another Glowbal Restaurant?) and then goes on to say, he's quit the restaurant biz (after 16 years), sold Waiterblog and Waiterforum, is doing a tv restaurant show and he will have a new website soon.
Wow. Like I said, he rolls big. Like Samuel Jackson with a planeload of mother...well you know the rest.
It's Wednesday August the 23 around 2:08PM and
Sally Struthers, call the mothership. This new Starbucks ad which will probably result in Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz having this video blogger how you say, taken off the air. I just love the freakn' delicious vs. starving kids in the Sudan bit. It's gold Jerry. Gold. [Via Adrants]
It's Wednesday August the 23 around 1:21PM and
I haven't filed my taxes in 5 years because I didn't know how. I lost a T4 way back when and was just too lazy to start the ball rolling and get my ass to HR Block. Well I did today and that was painful. Not only do I owe another $3K to "The Man", because the 31K paid over 5 years already wasn't quite enough, I had to pay $473 for 5 years worth of frickin filing. The highlight of the 3 hours though was when he showed me how much I owed him for his services and that it was only 6% GST and not 7%. I went directly to McDonald's and splurged on a diet coke and double cheeseburger with my new savings. While the war of diet pop and a soggy double burger battled each other for arterial supremacy, I started to calm down. When I got home I took some sweet medication to further calm my nerves.
Maybe the Govt should have a super simple form for the masses. The new ONET4 form where you don't need all that silly confusing shit. One line for income, one line for CPP, a line for tax paid and a line for EI. Add this and these and divide by that and include a check thank you for everything you pawn.
It's Wednesday August the 23 around 3:38AM and
Quick question dear readers. Is the PNE's KC the Kettle Creek Bear the worst mascot in the city? This is like The Spirit Bears coming to life.
Please feel free to email the bear directly at kcthemascot@pne.ca
Photo: Ward Perrin, Vancouver Sun
It's Wednesday August the 23 around 3:30AM and
Finally,
The Province gives us a couple of covers worth noting. The front cover of the hillbilly with the huge gut (Headline:
"Small Cities, Bigger Waists") is just so hot. On the back Daniel Sedin spinning the new season with a
"Change is Good" headline. And Sedin's brush with terror - tasting babyfood - is classic. The news of the
massive house party in West Van the other night brings back memories of roof tiles being thrown off a house at one party. Good times.
The Sun actually tries out a Who will be the Next Liberal Leader thing on the cover. Completely uninspired layout that just makes us wonder which idol, er, candidate will be the Chris Daughtry of the bunch.
24 Hours puts a totally lame celebrity photo of actor Chris Cooper on the cover. But the real story is the other headline, "Too Cool for Tourists". It's a pretty lifeless article on whether or not Vancouverites are heartless, rude, people. We can only dream. The funny part is the photo which shows a guy in an MIT sweatshirt getting help with directions. Dude, you went to MIT, maybe you could learn to, oh read a freakn' map. How do you like them apples?
It's Wednesday August the 23 around 2:47AM and
*Can you even imagine sitting next to these guys at a Canucks game: "Haha, alcohol-free. The chances of us taking those seats were about as good as John Mark Karr being named a judge in this year's Little Miss Colorado pageant." [Orland Kurtenblog]
*Man. I'll bet the wedding of Gus Greeper was fantastic and shot-tastic. [Gus Greeper]
*I don't know what is more disturbing. That people are searching madly for SNL news about four cast members being fired, or that Seth Myers is the new head writer. God help us all. [Miss 604]
*If you watch the teaser promo for this "movie" you will know that the union is actually doing their poor members a huge favor by preventing them from making it. In this case, saving them from the utter embarassment and social outcast that this terrible thing will cause. [Darren Barefoot and Beyond Robson]
*How are Carole James' approval ratings lower than Gordo's? Wait, lower than George W. Bush's. Can we start the bring back Harcourt calls now? [Public Eye Online]
*Finally those bastards at Really Smooth Music have posted again. Smoooth. [
