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It's Thursday August the 31 around 9:09PM and
Alright friends, it's the first of the month, so it's time for another playlist! Going to let the music speak for itself. Enjoy!
Listen to The Vancouverite Playlist #9
1) Don't Go Do It - The Rapture
2) La Monogamie - Malajube
3) Western High - Captain
4) Go With It - Pete Yorn
5) Where You Are - Camera
6) The Crane Wife 3 - The Decemberists
7) Time And A Half - Anechoic
8) Will Remind Me - Le Chevre
9) Here's Your Future - The Thermals
10) Summer Dress 2 (Iodine) - Plus/Minus
11) I-Spy - Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly
12) Our Hell - Emily Hains & The Soft Skeleton
Listen to The Vancouverite Playlist #9
It's Thursday August the 31 around 1:53PM and
I'm a little behind, but of course couldn't leave the weekly Georgia Straight feature. So welcome the best and worst of this week's edition of the
Georgia Straight. Theres a lot of action in this issue, so here is the highs and lows as I see it:
5. As always we have to point out the City Single of the Week. This week's victim, Chris is a real winner. A real catch ladies. So many things wrong here, but i'll point out three: 1. photos of you in a wetsuit, 2. you're ideal partner is 5% Barbara Walters? Really? And you haven't found this trophy wife yet? 3. Inviting Che to your dinner party with Elvis, Ghandi, and Da Vinci. I'm sure they'd really appreciate that. Wow.
4. Jurgen Gothe looks at Calona wines. Pretty artwork and under 14 bucks a bottle. I guess there isn't much NOT to like here. Besides wines that should be drunk with hamburgers can't be bad, can they?
3. Naomi Klein is back from her writing break. Chew on these happy little pop-candy bits of wisdom: "disaster apartheid" and "Disaster Capitalism Complex". Somehow me thinks this isn't going to resonate with the people who hated logos.
2. The feature interview with Liberal Leadership candidate Michael Ignatieff is priceless. Disapointed that he isn't "Mephistopheles" and that he can't cause "a candle on the table to burst into flames merely by staring at it intently with his famously blue eyes" the Straight's Terry Glavin had to settle with this:"But he’s really just a right-wing thug who wants the laws changed to allow the police to force confessions out of people by pulling their fingernails out"
1. The Cover. I don't really care what else you put in the newspaper, when you throw a pole dancer on the cover, people read it. it's like magic. Besides it accompanies an article about the myth of promiscuity, which is nice. And you package that with the little fashion rag they hand out with it this week, and you've got yourself some hot.
It's Thursday August the 31 around 1:40PM and
With a name like
Republic, you might think you'll be witness to bearded greeks running around, Plato style. Well, not really at
Republic (958 Granville) you are supposed to get a London style bar experience on Granville. Here's what a member of our double secret review team reports:
"First, they had an amazing cover band. I think its "radio 1" from the cellar. they played killer shit. Second, the place features tonnes of talent in there too and a surprising low percentage of douchebags. The drinks were expensive, but that's to be expected at a place like that but they have epic washrooms as well. it's a pretty cool place."
It's Thursday August the 31 around 11:48AM and
"It's amazing this guy that takes all those lives and decides to save one" this quote from today's Province. The story is regarding the Angel of Death giving a kidney to save a Long Island Resident. Well if that's not the sweetest thing I have ever heard.
Why oh why isn't it mandatory that these life sentence murdering scumbags have to donate at least something back to humanity. Why don't we start with body parts, kidneys, eyes, livers, etc...Take a penny leave a penny right. For every body part they donate they get a little time taken off their sentence or they get the good ice cream or they are promised no touchy touchy from other inmates. Maybe tobacco companies can sponsor this?
It's Thursday August the 31 around 11:17AM and
In order to avoid flushing out the fervor that is Jackson Murphy's TheVancouverite, or discredit it because I am a hateful douche, we have created a cage/category for my ranting and raving. We are pleased to present The Vancouver Idiot. A place where I can say whatever the hell I want and it won't be detrimental to the health of this site. Got a problem with Gay people? Too bad cause I'm posting hard core images...Don't like off color bacon jokes regarding dead hookers? Too bad cause I'm not done with that subject either.
Check out what is pushing this idiot's button's when you have time!
It's Thursday August the 31 around 8:16AM and
Well, it's nearly September kids. That means back to school, a new TV season, and even a new hockey season starting. Here at The Vancouverite, that means some new features. The first of which is this, interviews. This is the first in a series of interviews we're working on. To kick things off for back to school time, we thought that a discussion with Al Cabino, the Internationally renowned sneakerographer would be a good idea.
Cabino's launched a serious campaign to get Nike to make the infamous McFly sneakers from "Back to the Future II" - what he calls the "Holy Grail of sneakers" in fact, in the current issue of Lemon magazine, he's created the world's first spy sneaker, the "Puma Spy", and he's been featured in a bunch of interviews on his quest. Now with the first sneaker magazine in development for launch in late-2006/early-2007, he talks with The Vancouverite about shoes, hockey, Ricky Bobby, and more.
Continue reading "The Vancouverite Interview: Al Cabino, Sneakerographer" »
It's Thursday August the 31 around 7:18AM and
*OMG. This really is like Christmas in August. Neil Patrick Harris guests on Big Brother. Bonus: his amazing pink shirt.
*A double shot of Bob Dylan. First there is his new Apple ad. Sell out? Partial sell out? You be the judge. Then there is the new Dylan video "When the Deal Does Down" staring Scarlett Johannson. Yum. And for no reason whatsoever, Ms SJ's Eternity commercial.
*I could watch this clip forever. Again, Ricky Gervais interviews Chris Martin. [You Tube]
*And I could watch this one all day as well. Kevin Spacey on Inside the Actors Studio.
*Meanwhile Mr. T has words with Superman upon his retirement. Hilarity ensues.
*My God. Have you seen the trailer for the new Kevin Costner and Ashton Kutcher Coast Guard movie? Yes, finally, a Coast Guard movie.
*Why yes, I would like to see Katherine McPhee as Wonder Woman. Yes.
*Another fall movie preview [New York Mag]
*Steve Carrell interviews himself. Double good.
*What the...holy awesome, pigs in blankets are cool again. Well, we're they ever not cool?
*This is something Vancouver desperately needs. A pirate running for office.
*Not a shock. Paris Hilton's debut CD not exactly "hot".
*These are crazy ads for Risk. People still play that?
*Another new Nike spot. Nike Air Max "Defy"
*Of course the King has an agent. Another Burger King ad.
*I've been told that if you don't listen or know of the band Land of Talk, you are not cool. In fact you will die, prematurally alone, bitter.
*And speaking of cool. There is a debate about whether Wolf Parade is cool. I'll side on the cool after seeing this video "I'll Believe in Anything" which has some amazing cannon deuls.
*Your last day of August Moment of Zen: Jem. Why was she truly outrageous exactly? Oh right, they had that crazy super computer.
Okay, that was just fun. But this was more what I was thinking to get you through the end of the day. Monty Python's international Philosophy.
It's Thursday August the 31 around 5:00AM and
Hey it's Thursday. And Thursday's are the new Fridays right?
Head on down to Limerick Junction (315 Carrall) and see Lions in the Street. $5 cover (free before 9pm), cheap drinks and "righteous rock and roll."
It's Thursday August the 31 around 4:44AM and
Metro News fronted this amazing photo this morning from the 2010 Olympic news conference with Prime Minister Harper and Gordon Campbell yesterday. To which we have three comments:
1. What kind of amazing ensemble is Gordo wearing? Is that like a grey-blue tweed?
2. Let me get this straight, the girl, Mellisa Hollingsworth-Richards won a bronze medal for the pant soiling Skeleton and yet she looks just like when Katie Holmes gets to leave the Tom Cruise bunker/mothership. She looks petrified with fear. "Get your hand off my back Mr. Premier"
3. What is Stephen Harper looking at exactly? I think the PM is checking her out. (see: 2)
It's Thursday August the 31 around 3:55AM and
24 Hours ledes with a hysterical photo of a laughing Prime Minister Harper and MP David Emerson matches with a trying to be serious
"What's so funny? It's our money". I'm sure it was Emerson telling a really hilarious joke about the Liberals. And I won't even begin to tell you the awesome that is the
interview article with Star Trek's Leonard Nimoy. That's sweet.
It must have been total hump day blues yesterday at The Sun. You can actually read what Labour day means by judging the half-assedness of the cover. They just threw a bunch of stuff on the cover and hoped something would stick. BC Hydro notes that 18,000 homes are using "suspiciously high amounts of electricity" a sign that might denote a grow op. The paper also covers the government bail out of the 2010 Olympics.
The Province tries to milk ever drop out of this. They paint the water shortage in Tofino in near Katrina-esque proportions of catastrophe. Seriously weddings are being cancelled people but thankfully in the darkest moment you have Crazy Ron of Tough Guy Sushi who vows to keep his doors open. I know you're asking, where is Anderson Cooper when we need him most. At least they make one strong case, that just as with Katrina, the government is totally useless. Michael Smyth adds, "Earth to Tofino: If you allow huge hotels and resorts to locate in your town, they are going to want nice fresh water in their hot tubs.That's not rocket science. That's just common sense -- the lack of which is now costing this town dearly"
It's Wednesday August the 30 around 3:29PM and
If shooting a bear is okay if it is endangering the public, then why can't it be open season on aggressive panhandlers, violent youths or everything else that threatens the public. I can understand shooting a bear because millions(est) of Canadians have died from bear attacks every year. I mean have you checked out the killing fields or mass burials on the island? I cry every time I pass a Spirit Bear because it reminds me of all those that died at the paws of these ferocious whack jobs.
I'm no animal rights nut by any means, but bears aren't eating our taxes, killing tourism, stealing(well at least not your car) or threatening people cuz they don't got's no spare change. A bear could get ornery if you have no spare twinkies or bread though. But why can't cops just start firing away at these few outliers that give panhandling or youths such a bad name?
It's Wednesday August the 30 around 9:43AM and
Today's
Globe and Mail has a long piece by Rod Mickleburgh on Liberal leadership candidate and Vancouver MP the one, the only, Hedy Fry. Ahhh...Godd Times.
Here's two highlights:
Hedy Fry and her magical 15-year plans:
"Grand 15-year plans, with goals evaluated every three years, are needed to tackle three major challenges: productivity and competitiveness, environmental degradation and sustainable health care."
Please, please, please, please, could we please have her as the leader? It would be so sweet. 15-year plans? My god that is riduclously insane.
And this part from the writer:
"That kind of reaction is far from the image of Ms. Fry often found in the media, where, for the past five years, she has had to bear a heavy cross, of the burning variety."
This is funny stuff since he throws out this clever little line only to then spend the next 9 paragraphs on the issue.
Bonus Points:
In the article former campaign foe Svend Robinson declaring the Fry campaign "the ultimate kamikaze mission".
It's Wednesday August the 30 around 6:03AM and
24 Hours has a pretty amazing double shot on the cover. While trying to
wring the last droplets of news out of the man seems to have not had anything to do with the Jonbenet Ramsey case but has a local connection. Of course that is places beside the story about the
Gastown gallery that sells famous reproductions. See, it's a very subtle commentary on the art of the fake. So clever 24 Hours. So clever.
The Sun gleefully reports that the feds and Victoria are ponying up another $110 million for the Olympics and that Prime Minister Harper and Premier Gordon Campbell will milk every penny of that starting with a press conference today. Can you feel the excitement? Pretty sure this article about Dave Nonis and the Canucks says that all his ideas were stolen from Radio Talk Show Call In listeners.
The Province could have probably just reprinted yesterday's paper. It's that useless today. It looks like they wanted to have the cover story on the tv Show Weeds, but had to go with the bleeding lede instead. Meanwhile they could have had more fun with the news that Travel + Leisure magazine listed Vancouver in its top ten hot destinations while Toronto was unlisted. Vancouver listed as No. 6 behind New York, San Francisco, Chicago, Charleston and Santa Fe.
It's Tuesday August the 29 around 3:31PM and
I'm just kidding. If you can tell me anything on this planet that is more of a baby making deterrent than the PNE, I will buy you a Slurpee. These parents with their 23 kids all screaming and jumping in and out of line and trying to steal from the vendors and fighting and screaming more and then trying to break things and even, save me Jesus, poking a baby goat in the eye on purpose...Yeah I witnessed all of this happening. There is also the fact you would need to re-mortgage just to afford a decent visit with 2 kids, let alone 50 or whatever number of children these psycho's had made...
I feel bad though because there is lots to keep someone entertained and if you can see everything it is so worth every penny. Maybe they have one day where kids between 6 and 20 are not permitted inside the park?
It's Tuesday August the 29 around 8:39AM and
*Last week we mentioned that actress Tricia Helfer was peddling wine at the Cambie & 39th Ave liquor store. And in today's Metro Warren Frey has the photo to prove she actually was there.
*Here's Nicole Kidman, eh.
*For your viewing pleasure: Nike's new ad with Maria Sharapova. I always like Errol Morris stuff, his new Lexus spots are pretty sweet. Yet another really creepy Burger King spot for chicken fries. Meanwhile Angelina shills for Shiseido. Or at least her cyborg body double robot. And tell me this BMW spot isn't just a little bit of awesome.
*A cheat sheet on what not to watch at the theatres this fall.
*Aparently this new Jean Claude Van Damme movie isn't on the list.
*And just so you, watch the trailer for Little Children. It's going to be on the must watch this fall list. Okay.
*How cute. Toronto gets its own kind of uncool guys website, XYYZ. And try to claim Cary Grant as their Jesus. Shameless. Note to aspiring Vancouverites, please don't do this here. Please don't.
*Sincerity really is the new new irony. [The Poor Bastard]
*And while we are waiting for the Lost season to start. Here's some extra creepy Hanso info.
*Your moment of delicious Zen: Best of Celebrity Jeopardy with some White Stripes thrown in for no reason.
It's Tuesday August the 29 around 8:32AM and
I'm not against the idea of having the current education system sprinkled with a little fairy dust. Of all my gay friends now, and my sister even, I look at pictures of way back when and can see it blossoming even as preteens. It's not a choice or an infection or something you pick up in school. Though I am sure there is those just so ugly that the opposite sex wants nothing to do with them, otherwise I think you are born with it. Which I guess in some people's minds is like having a pre-purchased one way ticket to hell.
Continue reading ""I Totally Bombed on this Gay Exam"" »
It's Tuesday August the 29 around 8:02AM and
I think it is safe to asume that
The Province has the best of the front pages this morning. It's like a movie tagline.
"35 guns in 21 Days". Abbotsford. Totally the new in gangland region. Of course what they really want to cover is whether former
Canucks coach Marc Crawford and former Canucks GM Brian Burke are freinds now that they are competing as rivals in SoCal. And Michael Smyth says that the
Greens are going to make inroads in next election. Really this time.
Although over at 24 Hours, like rather scared looking cleaner with the tongs picking up needles is pretty nice, but the headline of "Making Eastside Shine" is just not hard hitting enough. It's a good thing they don't have to sell this paper on a daily basis. And knowing that Renee Zelleweger is not only the kind of star that signs autographs, but she'll do it when she's in a dirty food court binge eating too. Let's see you top that Alba!
Over at The Sun they seem to focus on the fact that The Storyeum is bankrupt. No real surprise there really, if you've ever been. The editorial department likes the new leader of the Green party, but not enough to really think that the Greens will actually win anything. Take that Smyth! So luke warm I guess would be their summary judgement. Filling out the trio of hard hitting features, would the news that according to The Sun, the era of the metrosexual is dead, but not really.
It's Monday August the 28 around 2:40PM and
Aye Carumba! Another podcast? I'm as surprised as you are. And I think with this one, I've almost mastered that intimate feeling and acoustics of a nice streetside self cleaniing toilet. See, we go all out with high quality technical audio here friends. So cozy up to your headphones and wifi system, and pour yourself a mojito and relax. Not too relaxed though, remember, it sounds like your in a toilet....
In today's episode we talk about Matthew Good and his Death of Vancouver essay, Louis Vuitton, Andy Garcia's 'The Lost City', Saloons, Frank Sinatra in Paris, and a really nice and special musical treat.
You can listen to this third episode podcast right here. (28:44)
Show Liner Notes (Some links to some of things we talk about):
*"Hogan's Heroes"
*Death of Vancouver [Matthew Good]
*Louis Vuitton sneakers
*The Lost City [Magnolia Pictures]
*The Lost City Trailer
*The Lost City DVD [Amazon.com]
*The Lost City Soundtrack [Amazon.ca]
*"The Quest for the Perfect Pub" [The Tyee]
*Sinatra and Sextet Live in Paris [Amazon.ca]
*Jamie Cullum
It's Monday August the 28 around 2:05PM and
Uh Oh, looks like my secret love of
Saved By The Bell and pink cardigans is now public. In Misty Harris' CanWest column today
"Forget Cristal, for preppies in the know it's all about Tea Partay" on the crazy
Smirnoff Tea Partay video The Vancouverite makes an appearence.
"The video 'is the single best thing to happen to preppies since A.C. Slater met Zach Morris at Bayside High,' says the 32-year-old blogger, referring to the early-1990s sitcom Saved by the Bell.
'It makes me want to be eating finger sandwiches with (conservative Family Ties character) Alex P. Keaton and girls named Buffy and Princess in our matching pink cardigans and getting completely smashed on the stuff,' he says."
Wow. Did I say that? PS: Holla Misty.
It's Monday August the 28 around 7:48AM and
*It's a few weeks old but this The Seattle Times article about touring Granville Island with Rob Feenie is a love letter to the Oyama Sausage Company. Yum.
*The Globe and Mail spent it's Vancouver space on Saturday talking about how cool Gastown is now. If we were Gawker, we might have to call Gastown officially over.
*Wired Magazine talks about how sweet Terry McBride, CEO of Nettwerk Music, is. But i'm really not pleased with him posing with a damned Spirit Bear.
*The Tyee is searching for the perfect pub in Vancouver. And the Billy Bishop Legion does seem to fit the bill quite amazingly.
*Also from Saturday was Lynne McNamara's column. In short: Mark Walberg went to Sanafir Pierce Brosnan tried Glowbal, Michael Buble to Afterglow, and aparently Nicole Kidman rolled at Mortons for Australian Lobsters and bubbly.
*Sweet Spot reviews Figmint saying, " Our West Coast persona is now sullied with NYC influence - we love it" and Flying Tiger
It's Monday August the 28 around 7:27AM and
*It must be some sort of Vancouver blogs sweeps week as Miss 604 posts from the beach. [Miss 604]
*A look at Figmint, Vancouver's latest eatery. "My electric toothbrush is still battling with the remnants of many a honeycomb, fig, and pecorino popper, but I’d gladly take down another fifty before lunch." [Waiterblog]
*Just before leaving Vancouver Matthew Good leaves us with his take on the "Death of Vancouver" [Matthew Good]
*Oh god, Lainey misses Sex and the City and Friends. Not good. Keep reading to hear about the Emmy's. Worth it just for the Katherine Heigl section. And personally the idea of Jeremy Piven throwing down an ascott last night kills me. [Lainey Gossip]
It's Monday August the 28 around 7:24AM and
Because I'm hooked on this, you must have to be too.
Fall in love with Banana Phone (aka Badgerphone).
Sorry. It's catchy.
It's Monday August the 28 around 6:58AM and
Because somebody has to read Craigslist Vancouver. Here's some things worth looking at.
6. Apparently our patios suck. "Rant: Vancouver The Anti Patio Town":
"what is it with vancouver????? there's hardly a patio in the downtown area that is decent, although steamworks has put some considerable work on theirs since I've left. this is a beautiful city, and i would enjoy having a few meal or drinks on a nice patio. i've heard the reason there are limits to this is because vancouver has harsh bylaws against using sidewalk area. is this true???"
Yeah, but when Steamworks is the benchmark, come on how can we take this poster seriously?
5. "To the piece of shit who hit my car....":
"Yes, this post is dedicated to the steaming pool of putrid corn-burrito diarrhea who did a hit-and-run my parked car at god knows what hour."
Does Taco Time know that this guy is calling people burritos? Watch out.
4. "Rant Trendy Slickity Jims on Trendy Main St"
"Rude service and the food is overpriced but hey atleast its a trendy place to eat trendy food on "TRENDY" Main Street. Did I mention I saw a trendy cockroach dressed in trendy ARK clothing wandering in the bathroom. "
Ahhhh...Main st. Home of the trendy cockroach.
3. "RANT: Stupid mini motorcycles"
"They look like the powerwheels a 5 year old would ride on so why the @#$% do I see adult men riding them?! There are 2 that I know of in my neighbourhood and one of the guys actually attempted to pick me up from it! NO! I'd be more impressed by a guy on a bicycle. Save your money and buy a real bike! "
Wow, people are still rolling on mini-bikes. So over.
2. A double shot of Grouse Grind rants: "Fatties on the Grouse Grind", and "grouse grind gong show".
" fat people: you are too slow and take up too much room on the trail. furthermore isn't it dangerous for you to be up there? who has the strength to carry you back down the mountain when you go into cardiac arrest from over-exerting yourself? "
Booo Hooo!
1. "PNE"
"Pancake breakfast - Little did I know, it was actually just a pancake breakfast meaning I paid $3 for two pancakes. That's right, $3 for 2 pancakes unfortunately I made the mistake of thinking pancake breakfast meant it was a breakfast with pancakes ala Stampede pancake breakfast. I may get flamed for ranting about this because it was for charity blah blah blah, but seriously, anyone been to Bon's off broadway?"
See, we're not the only ones who think the PNE is lame.
It's Monday August the 28 around 6:31AM and
I am pretty well known in Taco circles. Back in 1998 I was on a road to eating double digit tacos in one sitting. I had just finished number 10 and wanted more and even though I was now blind I had the 11th put together anyways. Since I couldn't quite get a visual on it or chew anymore, I had it juiced. I drank it. Oh yeah I drank it hard.
In Today's Province is the riveting story of how one third rate conglomerate is trying to bully the little guy. This story is only going to deal bad press to Taco Time for picking on a local shop. I can understand trying to protect a slogan like "Taco Time, where the tacos are so god damn fantastic!". But by taking the word Taco and slapping it on the day of the week it sounds best with shouldn't be trademarked. Newsflash Taco Time, it hasn't been working for you at all. What might work is mopping your disgusting floors or make a Taco that tastes half decent. Oh and Taco Time perhaps you check out what happens when you google Taco Tuesdays..
And to Casa de Amigos, maybe do "Taco Chewsday" or even better and at no charge, "Casa de Amigos, where the tacos are so god damn fantastic!". .
Continue reading "Taco Wars" »
It's Monday August the 28 around 2:49AM and
The Sun is typical Monday fair. Let's put Tiger Woods on the cover - that will sell, and take up a lot of room too. The big local story on the front is about
NPA Councillor Kim Capri who wants crime crackdowns too. So to the people who urinate in the streets or litter, watch out!
I'm kind of in love with the 24 Hours this morning. Sure there is the serious headline of "Violent Crime Targeted" and how Vancouver Police are set to do something about it. But the whole picture of a women enjoying a Caffe Artiangiano seems to suggest a, "whatever cops" attitude. In fact the paper seems more put out by the end to Taco Tuesday's at a Mexican restaurant. So, at least they have their priorities straight. Coffee, Crime, Taco injustice.
In The Province kind of just says, screw you 24 Hours, "we're putting this taco story right on the front". Take that! And then we're going to call the story, "Eatery has beef overslogan." Wow, no taco reference in the title. What a shame.
It's Friday August the 25 around 11:40AM and
Tonight - August 25: Go to a bar. Get totally hammered on beer. Then show up for a showing of Beerfest. Sneak beer in so you don't lose your buzz. The folks at the Paramount will love you. Hilariousness.
Saturday - August 26: Experience the secrets of ancient Egypt they way it was meant to be seen, in full on LEGO wonder. Yes, if you try to take a girl to this, she'll laugh her ass off at you LEGO geeks. Fun right?[Telus Science World]
Sunday - Augyst 27: The Emmy Awards, duh. Here's your score card. Everytime Conan O'Brien doesn't get a laugh take a drink. Or you could go see Cat Power at Richards on Richards for like the whole day, whatever.
It's Friday August the 25 around 10:12AM and
Can you believe it is Friday again? It is, trust me, and it's time for your afternoon clip show of the best and worst, the hot and the cold during this delicious week. We recomend you enjoy this with a fun dip, and roll the clips, Chico:
HOT
1. Mike Harcourt. That shirt he wore this week will echo for all eternity. Like we said earlier, this bitch is red hot. PS: Just checked it out, www.harcourt2009.com is totally available. So lets get this Harcourt for Premier Boogie train out of the station again and rolling.
2. Province columnist Michael Smyth. Not only did he bring us a great Lorne Mayencourt quote early in the week, he then used both "boner" and "breakfast fatty" in his Thursday opus.
3. Tacos. Contributing Editor Luke reminded us that Tacos are nature's 2nd most perfect food after the banana.
4. Tricia Helfer. Don't care that she is doing personal appearences to shill wine. Don't care one bit.
5. Old Miami Vice. If you don't know why I can't help you.
COLD
1. The PNE. Check out the podcast for more details on this week's biggest popsicle of non-hot.
2. KC The Kettle Creek Bear, The PNE mascot. As Gus Greeper added, They are like the Spirit Bears come to life.
Totally creepy!
3. Liberal Caucus Retreat. We just like saying Caucus! But seriously Bill Graham's press releases enjoy about the same amount of reality as Tom Cruise from his Scientology bunker.
4. Third week in a row, our Jessica Alba has been chilly enough to garner a spot on the list. Enjoy sweetie.
5. Yellow Tail. Two times the famous plonk from Aussieland was mentioned this week. And one mention was totally a god awful a reminder of why this wine should be banned. Serving suggestion: with cowboy hat, and trip to PNE in Camaro = Good times.
It's Friday August the 25 around 10:11AM and
It's Friday kids. So chances are you are surfing the net trying to kill time before 5:00, okay probably 4:00. So why not click some links and enjoy?
*Wow this shirt is hella good. Nick La Che.
*Have you missed the invasion of Youtube by P-Diddy or whatever we are supposed to call him? He is a genius. First his call out to the bacon, egg, and applesauce breakfast of champions, then today he's just walking around New York telling people they can dance again. And I'm pretty sure he gave me a shout out. I've been to NYC.
*Could I go a day without picking on Jessica Alba? Nope. This clip of Guillermo at the Teen Choice awards is amazing. Especially when you have to listen to Alba. Guillermo rules.
*Saved by the Bell reference #1: Could I go even one more link without picking on Jessica Alba. Ha ha. No. The Superficial disects a creepy Alba meeting with Fez. "I didn't even know it was possible to make Jessica Alba look this awkward, let alone dressed like she just finished shooting an episode of Saved by the Bell."
*This new Robin Williams movie "Man of the Year" looks almost funny.
*Saved by the Bell reference #2: Mario Lopez on Dancing with the Stars photo. Gulp.
*Only about 5 weeks until Lost season starts. Enjoy some Apollo Candy from the Hanzo Foundation while you wait.
*Miss 604 is going to Matt Good's house for his private performance tonight.
*There is something about Old Miller Beer ads, that make you want to have a cold one non? [Deadspin]
*Two questions. 1. Who would want Britney Spears Egg Sandwich and Kfed's Corn Dog? 2. What kind of a music industry event has those two items on the menu? Diddy would crap himself. [eBay]
*How great does this show look? Bo Derek, Morgan Fairchild. Fashion House.
*Cutest McDonald's Ad, ever. Sorry, make that cutest girl in McDonald's ad, ever.
*Without comment, I give you Record Store Cats.
*How on earth can you get an invite to Susan Natalie's dinner parties? I need more fabulosity for sure.
*This is a shameless vlog including bikini on beach.
*In case you'd rather not see the movie, you can get the full transcript of Snakes on a Plane here. PS: Snakes is still trailing Ricky Bobby.
*Your Friday On the West Coast Afternoon Double Shot of Zen: Rhinestone Cowboy and the preview to The Third Man.
It's Friday August the 25 around 7:02AM and
Good news for your Friday people, somehow we managed to create a second episode of things no one actually cares to hear about. Our
pilot podcast episode was met with some minor enthusiasm. I think this comment nicely summed up the technical ineptitude of our podcast, "despite the reliance on styrofoam cups this was pretty cool. like you whispering close in my ear inside a jiffy-john." I love a good jiffy-john. So, go ahead, get some Pinot Noir going, a couple of
Mehari's and let me whisper sweet nothings into your ears.
This week we talk about The PNE, Mike Harcourt's hot shirt, The Liberal Caucus Meeting, Ricky Gervais Show, Miami Vice, Kevin Smith's review of Step Up, and The Submarines.
You can listen to this second episode podcast right here. (25:19)
Show Liner Notes (Some links to some of things we talk about):
*The PNE
*Mike Harcourt. Tanned and Ready to Run?
*Liberal Press Release: "Federal Liberal Caucus Retreat Reinvigorates Party: Bill Graham"
*Ricky Gervais
*Watch the Izzy and Crocket scene at YouTube. Don Johnson's shorts are amazing. Watch them!
*And definetly watch this three minutes of sexy Miami Vice cool to the soothing jams of Phil Collins.
*Kevin Smith universe
*Step Up
*The Submarines
It's Friday August the 25 around 6:37AM and
In 24 Hours this morning, I see this ad, with Tricia Helfer promising a "beautiful woman & a sensual wine" and thought wow, that's crazy. So for the geeky oenephile this may be the closest you get to a babe like Tricia. Sure she's hocking wine, but you could meet her. Go forth and prosper. Don't forget your Cylon suits!
It's Friday August the 25 around 5:45AM and
24 Hours goes undercover today to give you a
sneak peak into how a star lives. If my weekend of being a star consisted solely of staying in the Opus, Eating at Elixir, getting on a freakn' train to Whistler, and then staying up there to dine at Rics Grill I would go mental. That is how you're a star? I do like how their cover headline of
"Burning Questions" about the house fire that killed someone in kits matches with the other headline
"Wanna Live like a star?" PS: I'm pretty sure that while they talk about Veuve Clicquot, Moet & Chandon and Mondavi/Rothschild 'Opus One' 1987 the cover shows people drinking what looks like
Ceder Creek. Nothing wrong with that, but this whole thing is total BS.
The Vancouver Sun isn't living large, but they're tackling the trifecta of bad ESL students, counterfeit money stings, and racist Survivor
The Province can barely contain themselves today. On the back is a french kiss to new Canuck defensemen Willie Mitchell. "Willie Mitchell looks like The Joker. Whether skating with his new teammates or during locker-room banter, the Canucks defenceman has had a wide grin plastered on his mug -- much like Jack Nicholson in Batman." Then on the front they nearly have a heart attack about a wife beater who may be coming to B.C. Granted the guy is a monster, but they kind of blew their load on this cover. And just for fun, people are camping in Stanley Park.
Metro Vancouver reviews Sanafir. The reviewer Claudia Kwan gives us this "Sanafir has earned my first-evr five star rating and exhausted my stock of superlatives starting with "s"." I can think of one, suck up. Which I find hard to believe given the many comments I've heard about its outrageously high douchebag count.
It's Thursday August the 24 around 11:54AM and
In typical Hollywood fashion something secret was leaked to the public. It appears to be generating hype for the movie which, as we saw in SOAP, doesn't mean jack shit.
The movie in question is Transformers. The issue is that pictures of Optimus Prime we’re leaked to the net and fans are outraged by what they are seeing. They have since started up a petition in hopes director Michael Bay changes the lead Transformers image. Apparently the leaked image showed Optimus as being an old fat guy in a red cardboard box.( at right ) From one concerned Transformers fan:
“It feels like they aren’t taking Optimus serious. He has saved us from the Decepticons time after time and now he is being ridiculed. Mr. Bay obviously doesn't know that Optimus has real lasers and when he does land here it will be hell on earth, or at least hell in Mr. Bay's house."
What little faith the Hollywood suits have in this movie speaks for itself by putting Bay in charge. Dare I say all the good directors passed on this one. The trailer makes me pee my pants though. Autobots, Out.
*Update* My buddy Jon passed on this hot link to Transformers pics from the movie, supposedly from the movie. I just transformed my underwear into underwear full of crap! Check it out here, the pics, not the underwear.
It's Thursday August the 24 around 9:23AM and
Welcome the best and worst of this week's edition of the Georgia Straight. The cover gives us a look at fish farming which is the kind of subject that makes us want to have a nap. Actually this late August edition of the Straight, is kind of nap inducing in general. But there are a few things worth mentioning:
5. Dear Single of the Week Terry. There's a couple of reasons you're single. Those ridiculous jeans, sucking up to the paper featuring you, and that one of your favorite songs is "Here for a Good Time". PS: Please stop going to Browns. Thank you.
4. A defense of Paris Hilton. Repeat: A defense of Paris Hilton. For no reason we can fathom.
3. I'll bet former radio king Raif Mare is rolling around in few copies of the Straight like a giggling little school girl as we speak with this week's focus and cover story on fish farming.
2. Thank the freakn' maker. Jurgen Gothe talks about pinots. Look, there's nothing better than pinot, and then when you even mention lamb you are golden. Mmmmm....lamb.
1. In the Payback time you get a virual laundry list of smug new words to use including pulchritudinous. Which is nice.
It's Thursday August the 24 around 7:18AM and
The first place anyone goes to get an answer is the mysterious Internet. You want to find a song by that new band or a recipe or a new killer blog like this one, you go to Google, or yahoo or whatever. So why haven't movie executives figured this out? That when someone wants news on a movie, they type in the movie title. Well what happens if your movie's title is Invincible? You contend with the other 200 movies made with Invincible in or as the sole title.
This new one looks to be the new mans tear jerker though. The kind of movie that fills a man with that warm fuzzy feeling and reminds him he isn't as tough as he thinks he is, that he is just a big sissy girl. Invincible tells the story of a Jewish strongman that performs in Berlin as the blond Aryan hero Siegfried. It's a true story and is based on the life and misadventures of Zishe Breitbart, a Jewish expert martial artist's son from China. This is all taking place during Hitlers reign as chief douche so our Jewish hero is torn between being true to himself and the Philadelphia Eagles fans or using his strengths portraying a Fighting Dragon.
This movie will be released this Friday and should be the sleeper hit of the summer, mostly because everything else blew. Mark Wahlberg portrays a Football player opposite Billy Zane as Os and together they fight the Shadowmen. Directed by Sau Leung 'Blacky' Ko.
It's Thursday August the 24 around 7:00AM and
The Province goes with the first in what will be a long series of
Matt Naslund covers. Apparently he's got plenty to prove. Blah, Blah. The other cover, the front page, is about
working wives and Mr. Moms.
Michael Smyth begins his column with this, "As another day brings another Olympics budget boner..." I'm sorry did he just say...Nevermind, he goes on, "this time it's an internal fight over who will pay for an expanded athletes village -- the 2010 pessimists and critics are more stoked than a snowboarder who just smoked a breakfast fatty." Wow. Smyth's on fire.
The Sun goes pretty big with those meddlesome Alaskans who passed a new tax on cruiseship passengers. I personally can't stand quiet, but this Right to Quiet organization is hilarious. Oh my god, they actually have a story about the guy who wears the KC the PNE mascot bear suit. I could have done without knowing this: ""Guys usually think it's a girl inside the suit because I'm so gentle with the kids," he said. "So then guys run up and try to pinch my butt. But the joke's on them -- if I took my head off, they would probably vomit."
I have to hand it to 24 Hours for putting the crying baby on the cover. The magic that is a crying baby in Canucks jersey coming to an early conclusion that his brush with the Stanley Cup is as close as the team as going to get is priceless.
It's Thursday August the 24 around 2:07AM and
Wowzee. When Andrew Morrison rolls, he rolls big y'all. The intrepid WaiterBlogger goes out with a bang offering a treasure trove of Vancouver Restaurant Scene news (a 2nd Nuba? Yet another Glowbal Restaurant?) and then goes on to say, he's quit the restaurant biz (after 16 years), sold Waiterblog and Waiterforum, is doing a tv restaurant show and he will have a new website soon.
Wow. Like I said, he rolls big. Like Samuel Jackson with a planeload of mother...well you know the rest.
It's Wednesday August the 23 around 2:08PM and
Sally Struthers, call the mothership. This new Starbucks ad which will probably result in Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz having this video blogger how you say, taken off the air. I just love the freakn' delicious vs. starving kids in the Sudan bit. It's gold Jerry. Gold. [Via Adrants]
It's Wednesday August the 23 around 1:21PM and
I haven't filed my taxes in 5 years because I didn't know how. I lost a T4 way back when and was just too lazy to start the ball rolling and get my ass to HR Block. Well I did today and that was painful. Not only do I owe another $3K to "The Man", because the 31K paid over 5 years already wasn't quite enough, I had to pay $473 for 5 years worth of frickin filing. The highlight of the 3 hours though was when he showed me how much I owed him for his services and that it was only 6% GST and not 7%. I went directly to McDonald's and splurged on a diet coke and double cheeseburger with my new savings. While the war of diet pop and a soggy double burger battled each other for arterial supremacy, I started to calm down. When I got home I took some sweet medication to further calm my nerves.
Maybe the Govt should have a super simple form for the masses. The new ONET4 form where you don't need all that silly confusing shit. One line for income, one line for CPP, a line for tax paid and a line for EI. Add this and these and divide by that and include a check thank you for everything you pawn.
It's Wednesday August the 23 around 3:38AM and
Quick question dear readers. Is the PNE's KC the Kettle Creek Bear the worst mascot in the city? This is like The Spirit Bears coming to life.
Please feel free to email the bear directly at kcthemascot@pne.ca
Photo: Ward Perrin, Vancouver Sun
It's Wednesday August the 23 around 3:30AM and
Finally,
The Province gives us a couple of covers worth noting. The front cover of the hillbilly with the huge gut (Headline:
"Small Cities, Bigger Waists") is just so hot. On the back Daniel Sedin spinning the new season with a
"Change is Good" headline. And Sedin's brush with terror - tasting babyfood - is classic. The news of the
massive house party in West Van the other night brings back memories of roof tiles being thrown off a house at one party. Good times.
The Sun actually tries out a Who will be the Next Liberal Leader thing on the cover. Completely uninspired layout that just makes us wonder which idol, er, candidate will be the Chris Daughtry of the bunch.
24 Hours puts a totally lame celebrity photo of actor Chris Cooper on the cover. But the real story is the other headline, "Too Cool for Tourists". It's a pretty lifeless article on whether or not Vancouverites are heartless, rude, people. We can only dream. The funny part is the photo which shows a guy in an MIT sweatshirt getting help with directions. Dude, you went to MIT, maybe you could learn to, oh read a freakn' map. How do you like them apples?
It's Wednesday August the 23 around 2:47AM and
*Can you even imagine sitting next to these guys at a Canucks game: "Haha, alcohol-free. The chances of us taking those seats were about as good as John Mark Karr being named a judge in this year's Little Miss Colorado pageant." [Orland Kurtenblog]
*Man. I'll bet the wedding of Gus Greeper was fantastic and shot-tastic. [Gus Greeper]
*I don't know what is more disturbing. That people are searching madly for SNL news about four cast members being fired, or that Seth Myers is the new head writer. God help us all. [Miss 604]
*If you watch the teaser promo for this "movie" you will know that the union is actually doing their poor members a huge favor by preventing them from making it. In this case, saving them from the utter embarassment and social outcast that this terrible thing will cause. [Darren Barefoot and Beyond Robson]
*How are Carole James' approval ratings lower than Gordo's? Wait, lower than George W. Bush's. Can we start the bring back Harcourt calls now? [Public Eye Online]
*Finally those bastards at Really Smooth Music have posted again. Smoooth. [Really Smooth Music]
*I think every woman should smell like cookies. Scratch that everyone should smell of cookies. [Vancouver Sweet Spot]
*Viral? The 11% drop off in viewers from last year tends to say otherwise. [Metroblogging Vancouver]
It's Wednesday August the 23 around 2:22AM and
Everyone's favorite starlet filming in town, Jessica Alba is in the news again. It seems while filming her latest opus, "Good Luck Chuck" her
love scenes were so rough she lost a tooth. Nice
spin flunkies, but we're not buying this. The only reason something like this gets out is that this is a cover up. She was probably slapped in the face by someone who tired of her bitchy antics. That would be dope.
*The Basterdly spends some alone time with Ms. Alba.
*Here's princess selling Tiger Beer.
It's Wednesday August the 23 around 2:13AM and
If you have never heard of director
Uwe Boll, consider yourself lucky. The director has been filming up a storm in Vancouver and is now promoting his newest venture,
Uwe Boll Fight Club. Well, the director is tired of critics bashing his terrible movies (
BloodRayne anyone?) so he's fighting them. 5 lucky writers are going to step into the ring with the director (4 of the fights here).
And the always classy Boll has an online gambling site sponsoring it. What a total clown. Please go film in Toronto from now on. Thanks.
It's Wednesday August the 23 around 1:23AM and
*Our gossip mongering spies dish out the dirt on two tidbits of information. First, that
Rachel McAdams is still the hottest thing in Vancouver, a loyal Vancouverite reader saw this hottie shoe shopping on Robson giggling little a little school girl. See Jessica, you don't have to let your dog crap all over the place in public to get attention.
And second, that Darth Vader himself, Hayden Christensen, was spotted in town this past week. The actor/heartthrob was seen on Sunset Beach with, surprise, a model type and another model couple. They were eating hot dogs and looking sexy. What the Vancouver born actor was doing back in his old hood is the big question. Probably just relaxing and hoping to see Jessica Alba like the rest of us before he starts filming Jumper in the next few weeks - sadly they are filming it in Ontario. Although he is scheduled to star with Alba in another upcoming film that sounds perfect for his skill set. Note: Another 2nd tipster just informed us they saw Hayden at the airport heading to NYC. Love anonymous tipsters. So sweet.
*In 24 Hours Darren Parkman reports a couple of eating sightings. The cast of Marriage - Pierce Brosnan, Rachel McAdams and Chris Cooper celebrated Patricia Clarksons Emmy with a dinner at West. Apparently this place is "trendy." He also tells of the virtual diva off at Gotham Steakhouse where Halle Berry and Jessica Alba were dinning.
*CKNW's Joy Metcalfe kicks that up one more notch. She says Benetio Del Toro and Mark Walberg also ate beef at Gotham. And then tells of the romantic dinner at Blue Water Cafe between Mr. Pierce Brosnan and Charles Martin Smith. Also, Brosnan does nothing but eat, he charmed the hell out of the kids at Rare One.
Send your Vancouverite celebrity sightings, rantings, photos to us! vancouverite@thevancouverite.com
It's Tuesday August the 22 around 3:09PM and
I just found out that I am having taco's tonight and couldn't bear keeping this info to myself. And since Jackson said my recent posts have been either peeukey, sometimes just stupid, or totally inappropriate I am only going to focus on things that just don't matter. For example what a fat bastard like me could be eating for dinner.
I also wanted a picture of a taco to rub it in your faces because tonight I will be eating what God would want for his last supper. I figured I don't want to search for just a plain taco, I wanted some Sweet Tacos and low and behold I found this here, the best horse name ever.
It's Tuesday August the 22 around 1:00PM and
So the Liberals are here in town for their caucus retreat and you can read this amazing press release hot off the Liberal spin presses:
Liberals Optimistic at Vancouver Caucus Retreat
Holy cow! That is confidence! And If I was Stephen Harper I'd be totally freaking out. Interim Leader Bill Graham is rolling up his sleaves! Stop the presses! They're working! They're making plans. Watch out! Can you feel the Liberal heat!
All this excitement down at the Hyatt kids. Go now! Feel it.
Bonus: A cache of really sweet Ujjal Dosanjh fan photos
It's Tuesday August the 22 around 12:05PM and
It's Tuesday. Sorry, it's only Tuesday. On the other hand, at 9:06 Paris Time, and 12:06 Vancouver time, and even though it's
August 22nd, the world hasn't come to an end, or exploded. So go make that martini, and lets groove on some tasty good stuff.
*Now, some might say, look at how great Natalie Portman looks. Others, like Egotastic will mention she isn't wearing a bra. Fine, fantastic. But this could be the greatest ad for hot dogs, EVER.
*Slate makes the 9/11 Commission report in comic form. Bryan Singer call your office.
*Suvivor is gearing up for the craziest season ever. Including featuring groups based on race. Mel Gibson not replacing Jeff Probst thankfully. [Defamer]
*Gawker's new feature, Already Over is priceless meta hijinks. Today, we are over Fame. That is all.
*Because we can: Kate Beckinsale in Bikini.
*Because we can part deux: Hulk Hogan in Neon Awesomeness.
*Beacuse you wanted us to: The Hoff Newswire.
*Best Quote of the Week. Will on Big Brother All Stars: "There's three things I hate in life. Robot clowns. Baby corn. And freaky little gnomes." Love it! [Via VH1's Best Night Ever]
*Beam us up. Did you catch the Shatner Roast Sunday? Here's some highlights. 1. How insane is George Takei? 2. Clearly not as insane as Betty White. 3. Love that Nimoy dialed it in. Literally. So hot. Gawker added that Takei teaches us to laugh again.
*Los Simpsons. This is sure to drive Pat Buchanan mad.
*Wow. Paris Hilton attempts to destroy YouTube. Hot. She makes me cry a lot. [Youtube]
*Your ginger. Hot video track. The Rapture's Get Into It. Rollerskating is baaaaack.
*Your West Coast Moment of Zen: Star Trek Cribs, Director's Cut.
It's Tuesday August the 22 around 7:43AM and
*Helping tourists in Vancouver to get to London Drugs and/or The Downtown Eastside can be rewarding. [Beyond Robson]
*Really, the hippies failed to promote their own Hippie Fest? Imagine that. [Metroblogging Vancouver]
*Hedy Fry gives her constituents a little treat in their mailboxes, a cute little brochure on foreign policy. [Jonathon Narvey]
*When marriages end badly its a shame. When they end in short videos with Lord of the Rings references and cheesy special effects on YouTube, its pure magic! [Mathhew Good]
It's Tuesday August the 22 around 7:13AM and
Who does Mike Harcourt think he is? He shows up to support the Insite injection hotel with fellow ex-mayors Philip Owen and Larry Campbell looking like he just stepped out of his beach villa. Damn this bitch is so hot. For reals, and is he even wearing pants? He totally wants to boogie like it's 1991 all over again. And Metro Vancouver just nailed this on the front cover. Also a really hot move.
He makes his cohorts look like establishment suits - and speaking of those old guys, could Larry Campbell's face get any redder? My goodness he looks like hell.
Photo: JARED FERRIE/METRO VANCOUVER
It's Tuesday August the 22 around 6:37AM and
The Sun, in a simingly unintentionally fun front page use a huge
"Paralympic Venue Nixed" above a massive photo of Mick Jagger. Those little scamps. The
Mick Jagger coverage was for the news that they sold nearly 40,000 tickets in a few hours. Floor seats are now selling at $1500/pair on eBay. Dear god. And these are the two most important issues in Vancouver this morning? Ouch.
The Province talks about the creepy killer that is back living among the family of his victims at a prison in Abbotsford. Meanwhile Michael Smyth answers complaints about aggressive panhandlers in the city with what could be the quote of the week by MLA Lorne Mayencourt (always good for a laugh) who describes 'mainstream panhandlers': ""I'm talking about people who spend the day panhandling and spend the night partying. There's a growing perception that you can do that in Vancouver." His solution. Don't give them money. But none of that matches the editorial siding with Nicole Richie. "Young women these days, especially those in the public eye, are under enormous pressure to have the perfect body. They need all the support they can get -- not hurtful remarks from passersby or paparrazi." You have got to be kidding me. Somebody actually wrote that. And The Province ran it. Oh to be a fly on the wall at that editorial meeting.
Metro Vancouver goes with the three former Vancouver mayor's backing the Insite injection site but we'll get to something about that in shortly. 24 Hours uses their cover to talk about toy helmets, and how dangerous they are. All of this in light of the fatal accident on the Pattullo Bridge. Sure he was weaving in and out of traffic, but its those damned toy helmets! But I guess we can all be thankful for the wisdom of Tamara Taggart who promises, "Our great summer weather continues."
It's Monday August the 21 around 1:33PM and
Totally not blind item. What cable sci-fi show, shot in Vancouver, reached 200 episodes (200 EPISODES) and the was just cancelled?
Star Gate SG1.
Yawn.
It's Monday August the 21 around 4:47AM and
Wow. My box office prediction robot is so broken it's not even funny. Snakes on a Plane couldn't even break the $15 million ceiling, and was so far from $42 million we suggested on Friday (even Variety only thought $30) that Samuel L. Jackson is going to be very angry this morning. But to not even be the number one movie - beat by Talladega Nights in it's third week - all I can say is, wow. Total failure of marketing.
The thrill of Snakes on a Plane is gone in three short days. Let the backlash begin. How sad. Bloggers and the interweb can get Ned Lamont the Democratic nomination in Connecticut, but can't power Snakes to #1.
MORE: Slash Film gives some reasons why the failure. And Howard the Duck 2 is mentioned over here along with "The Alan Thicke Show: The Movie"
UDPATE: Defamer Monday Morning Box Office Report. The reaction from Samuel L. Jackson.
It's Monday August the 21 around 4:04AM and
*Wow. Waiterblog makes amazing pencil crayon maps. Food critic and
map making savant. Who knew? [
Waiterblog]
*Meg Fowler posts the most amazing photo of a shirtless, pantless man. It does burn my retinas, but somehow, I can't look away. [Meg Fowler]
*Jonathon Narvey finds the Washington Post's "Vancouver the new global warming tourist destination" lacking. [Comm Centre]
*Shameless wineblogger reveals the secret Kettle Valley Winery slurpee machine: "Also of note is that the winery has an excellent slurpee machine with hints of citrus showing orange, lime zest and Fanta…you get the idea." [Wineglow]
*Corn Dogs at the PNE. Yes...food on stick....goood.... [My Dinner Table]
*Confusing Mexican night at Nat Bailey? [Beyond Robson]
*Jessica Alba at the Teen Choice Awards: "The mighty Alba took a tumble, didn’t she? Budget extensions, SUPER budget makeup, and let’s not go anywhere near that five dollar top. Guess who’s going to attack her stylist tomorrow morning when she finds out everyone hated her ensemble?" [Lainey Gossip]
It's Monday August the 21 around 3:26AM and
The Sun ledes with a great headline for a Monday morning.
"Stop using so much soap, region's residents urged." Apparently our water is so soft you need less soap. I think our grade 11 science teacher tried to tell us this, we thought he was crazy. Meanwhile the three ex-mayors (sounds like a superhero gang)
Harcourt, Owen and Campbell are coming out to support the safe-injection site. And don't forget the excitement of the
Liberal caucus meeting in Vancouver this week.
The Province goes for the sensational story of the father who fought back against some home invaders by hitting them with a crowbar. Of course the police tell us, "A general rule, not knowing these suspects and what they're capable of, it's always best to comply, let them get their loot, and call the police right afterward." What total ingrates. Meanwhile the home invaders in Whistler are bears. Shock.
24 Hours puts a cute seal on the front cover with no headline at all. Groundbreaking journalism, again. Must have been the full coverage of their Flugtag.
Metro Vancouver profiles a peacecamp with some snazzy photography on the cover. Because nothing says peace in the MidEast like teenagers and blurry photography. And then we read "My View" by Laura Balance and this ridiculous quote about the P.N.E. "Today the fair at the PNE remains as much a part of the fabric of this city as the day it opened in 1910 - probably more." What does that even mean?
It's Monday August the 21 around 2:42AM and
Craigslist was so action packed with stupid stuff this past week, we give you six (plus a bonus) of the best things that we found. No poop flinging this week, but plenty of good times.
6. "guy eating ketchup chips on the skytrain" Money Quote: "and there you are standing there munching on your savory looking ketchup chips. i almost fell off the healthy eating wagon luckely the store was sold out of ketchup chips others might not be so lucky "
Um. where to start. When ketchup chips drive you insane with foodlust maybe its time evaluate the old diet, princess.
5. "kits hippie daze - w4m - 25" Money Quote:
"To the guy walking up fourth ave. no shirt but a wicked tattoo of bamboo shoots along your ribcage and back. i asked about your tatty + you showed me the new work you had done. we're neighbours! but i forgot to ask for your number or give you mine ~ drop me a line if you're free/interested peace + love"
Hmmmm...shirtless guy with tatoos of bamboo shoots and the people who love them? Creepy.
4. God bless West Coast politics where we can hate both "Trudeau" "Arrogant, communist and no business brains at all. But what would you expect from a left wing French lawyer!" and "Harper".
And we wonder why Toronto and Ottawa don't take us seriously all the time. We are all over the place out here.
3. The Tim Hortons vs. Starbucks debate continues. "Tipping Starbucks Vs. Tim Hortons" Money quote: "HELLLLLLOOOOOO, can I please get some cream here? Oh sure, yes I'll wait a few minutes until you're finished making that half caf grande vanilla latte low fat and the Chocolate Banana Frappe. "
Hey dude, if you're spending $3 on a cup of joe, maybe don't ruin it with a litre of cream and a bunch of sugar. You should just go to Timmy Ho's, or better yet, 7-11.
2. "Dear former Le Chateau star salesman..." A love letter for the Al Bundy at Le Chateau. I don't even know where to start, there is so much wrong with this.
1. "Yellow Tail on your patio - m4w" Money Quote:
"Sorry the chemistry for a LTR just wasn't there for me. I enjoyed our glass of wine, I liked your see through top, you put my hand on your chest, you looked at my package. Wanna just sleep together?"
See this is what happens with Yellow Tail. The wine of choice for white trash. Imagine after some Yellowtail en francaise with Gismondi. I honestly couldn't control myself... I actually felt a shiver go down my spine there.
Honorable mention: "Grouse Grind Hikers"
It's Monday August the 21 around 2:26AM and
I read
Malcolm Parry's column on Saturday. I know what you're thinking. In his UP PARRYSCORE part he mentioned a very insane Pan Pacific promotion. And in typical Parry style he is in his own world - don't they have editors over at the Sun - nevermind, another post entirely there.
Anyway, the promotion is the "Harley Davidson Experience". For $489 you get the Deluxe Harbour Mountain view room (May 23, 2006 - October 31, 2006) or you can cheap out and get the $389 Deluxe Harbour / Mountain view room (November 1, 2006 - April 30, 2007). And here's what you get:
*1 Night Luxury Hotel Accommodation
*Round-trip limosine transfer to Trev Deeley Harley Dealership in Vancouver, pre and post rental.
*Welcome gift
Can you even imagine the kind of posers who would do this? The horror. The horror.
Previously: Anniversary Time for Smuggy
It's Monday August the 21 around 2:11AM and
In the running for one of the best jobs in the city has got to the wine critic for the Vancouver Sun. Anthony Gismondi is the luckiest person in the world. I think
I counted 48 words for his wine write ups this weeekend in the paper. Just to review, he drinks wine, writes a few words, done. That is heaven. I think he even gets paid. What a total bastard.
So you'd think, given his position, he could maybe try a little harder than this:
LULU B SYRAH 2004, VIN DE PAYS D'OC, LANGUEDOC
Price: $15.90
UPC: 604174001711
Score: 86/100
Remarks: Yellowtail en francais.
Yellowtail en francais? That's it? That's all you have to say? Dear god man! How is this helping anyone. I can only imagine how many people went out to buy this French gold Sunday. It must take some time to write three words that are both smug and insulting. Best job ever.
It's Monday August the 21 around 1:32AM and
Like a really great meatloaf, enjoy some nearly stale, but still enjoyable links we were too lazy to post over the weekend.
*Most interesting article all weekend? This one about Voyager 1 sailing past 100 AU's and still going. Just remember at some point 'Vger' will come back and Kirk will have to deal with it.
*Best article of the Weekend. Ron Rosenbaum's how did we live without treatist on the one, the only, Johnny Drama from Entrourage. "...one could look at Johnny Drama in a different way: as part of the great tradition of American losers. Not malevolent so much as self-destructive, and at least a little bit lovable (or pitiable) because they’re so unself-aware—so oblivious at times—of how they get in their own way."
*I really can't get over this one. The buddy cop action film with the Ontario cop and the Quebec cop. Maybe its the French wine, but this kicks ass.
*Best quote of the entire weekend. Mr. Bill Murray: "I tell people I'm retired. I kinda like this Jay-Z thing, where he's retired, but he keeps doing shows. I think I beat him to that. If you say you're retired, people don't bother you so much, and then if you want to do something, you can do it."
*Nicky Hilton previews her new Miami hotel with some really neat mood boards. Mood boards?
*Dear god. If I had to watch this, you do too.
*No surprise really, Lainey spies Jessica Alba and while very beautiful, she's still a bitch. Sigh. Turns out she's been in New York this week too where she acts not like a bitch. Weird. Meanwhile Calgary Sun sends Kevin Williamson to see Ms. Alba on set.
*Is anything better than Kate Beckinsale.
*W.P. Kinsella in The Province offers a differing view on the Insite injection site. "Those who inject filth purchased from an illegal drug trade deserve nothing from society. They are a small, intransigent group who are being rewarded for bad behaviour." Is this like "if you build it he will come" W.P. Kinsella? 'Cause that's ironic...
*David Brent (Ricky Gervais) does some shilling for Microsoft with rather hilarious results.
*Mayor Sam Sullivan goes to Seattle and finds the two cities have similarities. Wow. We both like coffee, we're both in the Northwest Coast, we both have drug and homeless problems. Congrats Sam, well done!
*Wow here's a real surprise, 40-year looking for a hit movie to revive career Halle Berry is open to doing a nother X-Men movie. Imagine that. All that and more from this weekend's Lynne McNamara column where in a slow movie news week she talks of ancient celeb Shecky Green. And come on, no one at at Joe Fortes this week? Not even Jean Claude Van Damme? I don't believe it.
*North Vancouver Politiics shows us the funny pick up after your dog sign. The bureacrats are killing themselves with gold like this.
*Metroblogging Vancouver finds Blood Alley and doesn't exactly sell it. Coolest part of Vancouver you've never seen? Maybe, certainly not after this promotional video.
**And in honor of Entourage, how about your West Coast Leftover moment of Zenizzle: The best of Ari Gold.
It's Saturday August the 19 around 11:08AM and
24 hours yesterday had an email posted from an Oakland California resident telling us we more or less suck. Apparently we are cranky and rude and our Skytrain etiquette is less than thrilling. This skytrain bit is true. My biggest issue with the train is that this is the start of my employees morning.
- You get a seat with your newspaper or book and no one touching you = good start to the day.
- You get crammed up into the corners where you can't even breathe without having intercourse = crappy day
The later seems to happen 95% of the time.
Now onto the Sun this morning where a Washington, D.C. based company changed their plans to put up a convention in Victoria. This is what they had to say about the land of tea, crumpets and panhandling youths: "It was not relaxing and enjoyable but rather quite uncomfortable. It reminded me of the Downtown Eastside of Vancouver rather than a world-class city." So the DTES is the benchmark for a shitty city. Even as a new found protester and advocate for Insite I wonder why on the users way out, in their sweet new high, they aren't handed a sponge and bucket or a broom and garbage bag and sent out cleaning up where they live. It appears they have no pride left in the city they only take from. Giving back just once, even if you don't think you have anything left to give, will put you on the path to righteousness.
It's Friday August the 18 around 1:55PM and
Welcome to another Friday afternoon clip show of the best and worst, and since it's August, and it's Friday you're all probably on patio getting drunk already. So grab some gris from the ice bucket, cut a slice of triple cream brie, and roll the clips, Chico:
HOT
1. "Snakes on a Motherfucking Plane" damn it! As if you didn't need another reason, beyond it was filmed here, here's one of the first reviews: ""Naughty by nature or perhaps more by design, these snakes don't just dart out of toilets; they also slide up bare legs and under dresses, moving in and out of more bodily orifices than the adult-film star Ron Jeremy did in his prime." Vancouverite Weekend Box office projection guess: $42 million. Put your guess in the comments. [Via Gawker]
2. Elvis. And here's to our own Luke for spending three days passing his 42.3 pound Elvis tribute meat meal! Congrats. And no, Luke they don't have BBQ here. Can you believe that? Savages.
3. Vancouver Craigslist. The lazy person's blog.
4. Chill Winston. You heard it here first. Smarter than Cactus Club served with a Side Salad. Yum.
5. Insite. Valuable lessons friends. Kate Moss can do cocaine and become bigger than ever. Tax funded needle candy injection sites can save us money. Who knew. Imagine if we had 5 Insites! Emmmmmersssoooooooooon!
COLD
1. Gordon Campbell's mini-Cabinet Shuffle. Should have done it on Friday Gordo, when nobdoy would have cared. Michael Smyth and Vaughn Palmer were still working and mocked your silly little shuffle of dead wood.
2. Flugtag. And come to think of it, Redbull too. That's so over.
3. Flugtag Shout outs. We're looking at you 24 Hours. Your shameless cover destroys your early week crack covers. And putting this on the cover instead of half-naked angry vegans in body paint is just dumb. If your paper wasn't free I would ask if you were trying to not sell them.
4. Jessica Alba. Surprise, Surprise. She's still a bitch apparently. Maybe she can go Flugtag herself? (Last Week's #1 Cold Winner drops 4 spots.)
5. Sanafir. Thanks for concentrating all the douchebags in one spot on Granville street, jerks. Oh wait, we already have Skybar. Still colder than Mel Gibson. Ouch.
Honarable Mention Coldy: David Pratt. See you at Sanafir, bud.
It's Friday August the 18 around 9:19AM and
Fall premieres.. ahhh... how long I have waited. While I will admit that I find Big Brother and some of the other summer shows strangely compelling, at no point have I ever duped myself into believing that they are actually 'good'. So for anyone else out there waiting for the fun to begin, here's some of the awesomeness that'll come your way starting as early as next week.
Returning Shows
Prison Break - Monday August 21, 8pm - After what can definitely be classed as the longest prison break ever, Wentworth Miller and the boys finally broke free of Fox River Penitentiary and will spend this season on the lam. Look forward to a savvy agent who may be able to give old Wenty a run for his money in the smarts category.
Survivor - Thursday September 14, 8 pm - Yeah, ok, so it's season 13 and we're over it. The only thing is that Jeff Probst is so freaking good at his job. He handles tribal council like a surgeon wields a scalpel. Amazing!
House - Tuesday September 5, 8 pm - What the hell is up with Fox? They sucked for years and now they have all these fabulous shows. Who can resist the cranky Dr. House? Odds are that the loss of his cane this season won't make him any more happy, but let's face it, we love to be miserable with him.
Lost - Wednesday October 4, 9pm - I only discovered this show this summer on DVD, and now I am hooked. This is one show that is definitely worth the effort of following a complex plot.
New Shows - This category is a lot harder to predict because you never know what tripe the networks will come up with to placate us for the upcoming season. Here are a couple that look like they should be pretty good anyways...
Shark - Thursday September 21, 9 pm - Helllooooo??? James Wood is in this. How cool is that?
The Nine - Wednesday October 4, 10 pm - Another show from ABC with a massive cast and an ex-Party of Five actor. The formula seems to work for them, so I'm not going to knock it.
Until then, we'll all just have to cling to the scraps of summer television - thank god they've managed to schedule it so that most of the finales wrap before the good stuff gets underway. In the meantime there's still Tommy Lee and Julie Chen to keep us gaping at the idiocy. I guess summer programming is kind of like a train wreck that way; you know it's wrong, but you can't stop staring.
It's Friday August the 18 around 5:55AM and
You can actually tell its Friday by the looks of the lacklustre papers this morning.
Let me just begin this morning's superficial look at the papers by saying, that putting your paper's Flugtag team on the cover of your newspaper does not help in the "hey we're a real newspaper" department okay. And this on the cover instead of the burried on page 5 story about PETA protestors in thier underwear sporting devil horns and red body paint? Come on 24 Hours, Ashley Fruno, sorry topless Ashley Fruno, was in her words, " actually a devil today, I'm the KFC-is-hell-for-chickens devil." That is your cover. Hello.
The Sun goes into the weekend with a heartwarming "Beggars, Drug Dealers Kill Convention Business" downer story. And that is about the high point.
Meanwhile over in The Province they use their cover real estate to tell the story of seven duty free stores that have been shut due to the new crackdown on liquids in carry on luggage.
As you were.
It's Friday August the 18 around 5:26AM and
August 18. Can you even believe Frampton came alive and is still kicking? Good lord. Head out to the River Rock and roll like it was 1976 all over again. Who's kidding whom, Snakes on a Plane is on. Maybe if it was Snakes on Frampton? Just a thought.
August 19. Start the day off with the Red Bull Flugtag at 2:00 (Concord Pacific Place), serve with generous amounts of Jagr. Seriously, you'll need it. If you need some good olde fashioned rock music, head to the Cobalt at 10:00 PM and see Lions in the Street and Pride Tiger. It's either that or freakn' Chilliwack at the P.N.E.
August 20. Crank up your smug-o-meter. Hit Bard on the Beach. 7pm. PS: Don't forget to talk about this all Monday to your uncultured knuckle dragging friends at work.
August 21. If you can stand fat people with warm bottles of Coke under their arms, stuffing mini donuts by the dozen into their faces in front of you, then drink heavily beforehand and then check out David Cassidy - yes, THE David Cassidy - playing the Rogers Amphitheatre at the P.N.E. at 8:00 pm. Come on get Happy! Just dig on this for a minute...
It's Thursday August the 17 around 2:04PM and
The idea of less needles on the street is a compelling argument. After so many years of working and living down here I would rather see human waste in the open than ever see a needle again on the sidewalk or in an alleyway. My son knows what poop is and that his parents get mad when he plays with it or throws it. It's a non-negotiable no no. There isn't room for trial and error should he stumble upon a needle, used or not. That, and the zero fatality stat, put me on the "FOR" side of Insite's future.
As a taxpayer I cringe when I see money spent on what is already a drain on society. Not the people but the subject of all this, the drugs. Near every crime in this city is spawned by drugs and Insite isn't quite stopping use so much as just keeping the user safe. Now keeping these people safe is worth it but it's just a big band-aid on a very permanent problem. I realize I should care less how money is spent if it is in fact saving lives as reports suggest it does. But at what point do these people start helping themselves, if ever?
I don't suspect more are going into programs and successfully kicking it than there are new users knocking on the door. So how big can Insite get to keep all the area's users safe? Will the term "big box" and "safe injection" co-exist in the same sentence...again?
UPDATE - In the Metro this Morning was a short blurb about Insite: "...has saved taxpayers up to $8 million in health and criminal justice expenses..." It was from a Paper published in the Harm Reduction Journal, whatever the hell that is. If my math is right then Insite is money well spent. Also the idea of Paramedics spending less time in those alleys is a raging plus. Meet me at Emerson's office at 5pm, bring snacks!
It's Thursday August the 17 around 11:26AM and
Vancouver has stolen Calgary's city planner. I have no idea what in the hell this means, but take that Calgarians. And it sounds like he might be ready to take on one-way streets like he did in Calgary. That is all.
It's Thursday August the 17 around 10:37AM and
Welcome the best and worst of this week's edition of the Georgia Straight. The issue is focused on education. The cover art of a cartoonish Gordon Campbell eating babies...okay he's just reading people, calm down... and the promise of the "Education Speciall" really just wasn't enough to make the this week's top 5. or 10. PS: Where was the Samuel F'n Jackson on the cover yo? Gosh! Anyway, roll the clips:
5. I wish I could learn to not read the City Single of the Week in the Straight. I really wish I could. But I'm compelled. I know it's sick. I'm sick. This week is 38-year-old Daphne. Here's a question: is this really the best photo she has? I mean this is what she submitted? Honestly. But I like how she answered three questions with the same answers. We get it you're into teeth. It's creepy and gross. Click.
4. Look, when Jurgen Gothe speaketh about the Gris, you just listen okay. Then you buy, and then you drink. And then you thank him damn it. When he starts talking about Gris Grappa you don't question this either. You may want to. But don't. Don't anger the Gothe.
3. Naturally this week they have the scoop on some of the "Snakes on a Plane" snakes. But when it comes to movies, I think this line was the best in the paper all week: "...he and the five members of the group went off to shoot a movie that makes Dukes look more like A Very Long Engagement." Never thought I'd hear that Ian Caddell you little scamp. Well played.
2. Love the shout out to the World Beard and Moustache Championships. Love it. And as they say, Beards, they grow on you.
1. Break out the tin foil hats! Spend a little time with Canada's Michael Moore Barrie Zwicker. I love a guy who thinks Noam Chomsky just isn't quite left wing enough for him anymore. That takes some balls.
It's Thursday August the 17 around 9:00AM and
*Lainey digs deep and gives us another huge Yukon Breakfast from The Tomahawk sized portion of Jessica Alba gossip. [Lainey's Entertainment Update]
*Oh joy. Those bastards at Ikea are enabling people to get more crap by offering a shuttle bus. [Beyond Robson]
*Miss 604 does a site overhall. [Miss 604]
*This part of the new Wineglow post had me at hello: "I can’t believe I’m going to quote a country song but given the tailgate theme Kenny Chesney’s 'It’s a smile, it’s a kiss. It’s a sip of wine, it’s summertime”' comes to mind. Yeehaw!" And I hate country music. [WineGlow]
*Weird. Nobody wants a used chair that the prospective leaders of the Green Party have sat in? [Public Eye Online.]
It's Thursday August the 17 around 5:05AM and
The Sun sensing a slow news day puts six dogs on the cover and the story of
death row dogs who were "thrown a bone" and given prison sentences to be trained by criminals in jail. It's the heart warming story of the summer.
Malcolm Parry prattles on for what seems like ever, until he graces us with news of a movie about the 1999 WTO riots, called "Battle in Seattle" which starts shooting in October and stars Charlize Theron.
In The Province who clearly got scooped by the Sun's doggie story they obviously go with the old "Serial robber targets women in stores" gag. Ah yes, It was a short man, Colonel Mustard, with a parring knive in Ruby Dog's Art House. People are hacking up people with machete's and this is the lede story at The Province? Michael Smyth then rambles on about our "Minister of state for broccoli."
24 Hours on the other hand doesn't do doggie death row, broccoli, or parring knife banditos. Instead they have another mini-protest outside MP David Emerson's office. The protestors demanded that Mr. Emerson "re-cross the floor to protect, Insite, Vancouver's safe-injection site." And I just find it hard to take people with Detroit Tigers hats on very seriously. They also let Devon Swift waste 675 words of good paper to talk about how he never takes the bus anymore and the punchline which invloves five items on eBay, capped with "Israeli biker looking for Bus Company to advertise on helmet. So far the leading bidder is Hezbollah Greyhound." Which he adds, "Just kidding" in case we weren't able to get his big finale. And they also have the best article title of the day: "Rash of machete attacks unsettle police." Really? You don't say.
Metro Vancouver doesn't have much to offer except on page 16 and their Downtown Diva, Hadley Warner. I'm not a fashion critic, but somehow she says, "UGG boots, I can't imagine". Yet she can somehow imagine this outfit? [Ed: She lives in White Rock leave her alone... That kind of explains everything then doesn't it. ]
It's Wednesday August the 16 around 3:01PM and
You know when you hear CKNW read a story that on it's website they calls, "Another Vancouver Machete Attack" that this is just not good. What the hell?
It's Wednesday August the 16 around 1:40PM and
29-years ago today The King, Elvis Presley, died. To start this worldwide holiday off with a bang, you have to see the
Graceland video. After that, hit up the real
Elvis website. Oh and don't forget to get yerself a grilled
Peanut Butter and Banana sandwhich.
*And if that wasn't enough, a You Tube roundup of Elvis awesomeness. 1. My Way. 2. Just Pretend. 3. In the Ghetto. 4. Unchained Melody. and of course Hunk of Love.
And now, if you can, let's roll on some other stuff:
*Orland Kurtenblog writes about David Pratt being, well, the total wannabe troll we always imagined.
*Okay Dan, why wasn't this magical wine sorbet featured on Wineglow? We want answers? Although now that you have a wine fridge you may not even be standing right now.
*Gearing up for the Snakes on a Plane opener? Read the interview with the director at CHUD. Oh, and Samuel L. Jackson on Jon Stewart already dropping the word sequel - which hopefully comes back to Vancouver. Or did he change his name to Samuel F'n Jackson? And if you haven't get over to the official website.
*Perezzle asks a starling question, "when did Hilary Duff becomce the American Kylie Minogue?"
*Could we leave out the news that the reason why Kate Hudson ditched her Black Crowes husband for the Butterscotch Stallion? No we couldn't.
*Best Week Ever brings us the Daily Hassle. The news of all things Hoff. Also using the terms: Hoffland, First Hoff, Second Hoff, Hofflines and Hoffices. That's so Hoff.
*Deadspin brings us Dennis Leary in the Red Sox broadcast booth discovering Kevin Youkilis is jewish and mocking the hell out of Mel Gibson.
*This Grand Theft Coca-Cola ad is pretty cool.
*Nice to see the Jessica Alba is a bitch meme spreading to L.A. and Defamer.
*Your West Coast Moment of Zen: The Big Lebowski short version. (NSFW)
Bonus tracks: Tortelvis and Dread Zeppelin doing - 1. Misty Mountain Hop, 2. Heartbreaker, 3. Black Dog. 4. Black Dog 2 5. National Anthem [PS - These guys rule]
It's Wednesday August the 16 around 5:09AM and
*
24 Hour's Darren Parkman writes about Ice Cube and his "posse" walking around Robson and chilling in the Sutton Place Hotel bar. Here's a thought, now that Ice Cube is making family movies and sequels to family movies does the guy really need a "posse"? Or a body guard? Your names Ice Cube for god's sake dude. Be a man! Parkman also mentions Vancouver actress
Chelan Simmons someone who's been on
our radar since January and the news that she is also in the Jessica Alba flick shooting, Good Luck Chuck. So we must mention her amazing rack as well. And look she even has a
really fantastic website, not.
*Everyone's still talking 'bout Jessica Alba's night to Morton's steakhouse over the weekend as somehow she found 15 people willing to have dinner with her. Metro's Robert Falconer claims that Ms. Alba was also seen at Park Royal's Whole Foods shopping and giving autographs. But no one is saying what she ate, no doubt because she was already full from eating babies in her hotel room and letting her dog poop everywhere.
*Lynne McNamara writes about Alba's costar Dane Cook who rented out the IIMAX theatre to preview his own show to the cast and crew of Good Luck Chuck. And then proceeds to tell us about Pierce Brosnan eating at West, Alba eating in Joe Fortes with her man Cash Warren, and Alba was in fact buying lettuce at Whole Foods. "They were both very sweet, I'm told, and Alba -- in a form-fitting blue fish design cotton hoodie and matching pants -- is apparently very particular about her salad greens." That is so code for her being a total bitch Lynne.
Although hearing what Edward James Olmos had at Fortes makes us so totally hot: "a jumbo prawn cocktail, steak cut calamari, king crab with sauteed spinach and finished with creme brule and chocolate peanut butter mousse cake."
*One final note, Canadian Business magazine just released their 2nd annual Celebrity Power List. Can somebody tell us how Eric McCormack is No. 12? And somehow Shatner is only 5th. Outrage!
It's Wednesday August the 16 around 4:38AM and
The Sun ledes with the cabinet mini-suffle. And they remind us what a treat it is for former Ministry of Children and Family Development Stan Hagen to have been knocked down a peg. The Sun gives this shuffle a somber front cover treatment to mask the fact that probably nobdoy outside of Michael Smyth and Vaughn Palmer even knows who any of these MLA's are or what they do. Okay fine, Mike De Jong. Meanwhile Karen Barnaby gives us a long winded article on the mysteries of the blueberry. Kerry Gold actually uses the term crotch-centric in a column about Christina Aguilera. Awesome!
The Province follows suit on the top story. But they choose to give the cover to the man recovering from a brutal attack last week with a large "It's only by the grace of God that I'm alive." This headline could have equally applied as a headline to Stan Hagen.
24 Hours had to abandon the hat trick of crack related covers to talk about the shuffle in Gordon Campbells government. Does anyone cares about which Liberal lackey is in charge of minister of state responsible for ActNow BC, tourism, sport and arts, family development and aboriginal relations? . I don't even know what family development does. Michael Smyth invokes the term "stumble-bum" about Hagen and lets pray that Smyth tells more about Hagen's "Alan-Alda-like" replacement Tom Christensen. Can't wait, Alan Alda is fantastic!
It's Tuesday August the 15 around 2:37PM and
Holy cow, is it mid-August or what. And now with peace in the Middle East again what happened to the news today. Hello. Hello. Is this thing on? Anywhoo. Here's some stuff:
*Oh, joy of joys. Renee Zellweger is being joined by Bradley Cooper - that wanker from Wedding Crashers - for the thriller Case 39 which starts shooting here September 5th. Will she out-diva Jessica Alba? Stay tuned.
*Here's another reason to avoid taking the Sky Train. "Rise of the Robots Skytrain Party (August 18th)": "featuring live automaton beats, a booming 500-watt renegade soundsystem, outrageous costumes, over-the-top décor, sexy androids, cyborgs and a robotpilot t-shirt giveaway! Dress in nuts and bolts, white + silver, or your favourite bot." Indiana Jones hates snakes, I hate robots. And nothing is cooler than an August night on public transit. (Via Beyond Robson)
*Everyone seems to be talking about how 11 Universities including UBC and SFU are pulling out of Maclean's University Ranking system. I love that Maclean's is doing it anyway and now hopefully they start sexing it up. (via Metroblogging Vancouver)
*Mathew Good is back blogging and for some this is a good thing. I think the only interesting thing I could add is that I miss Jennifer Good. And then over at Kitsilano.ca we get the word that she is no longer a Good it would seem. Jenny, please come back to the web for us. We miss you. (PS: Any details on this and Jenny's wherabouts comment below)
*Darren Barefoot on the dirty dirty webrings of Douglas Coupland.
*Yep, sounds like The Morrissey to me.
*Nice to see that reporters are skipping the whole research period and going directly to Craigslist for story ideas.
*This one goes out to Craig. A little Clint Eastwood, Japanese style. Trailers for his next films. Enjoy.
*Your West Coast Moment of Zen: Classic Alec Baldwin and his Schweaty Balls.
It's Tuesday August the 15 around 6:35AM and
The Province steps up and unloads a morning cover sure to please everyone. The lede story,
"Torries Target Child Crime" is about proposed changes to the justice system that would beef up the age of criminal responsibility. Most interesting from an editorial sense is that after 15 paragraphs of the issue and fabulously mustached Justice MinisterRic Toews, we get three paragraphs on Toews views on same sex marriage. Although I would be remiss if I didn't mention the amazingly craptacular back cover Da Vinci Code design rip off for an article on
Lion's coach Wally Buono. Cuz, you see, he's Italian so they had to make that totally clear for us.
Yesterday 24 Hours was 1-800-crazy over crack, today they are just "Cashin' in on crack" but also tempting us with their other bigger headline, "Road to recovery". Kind of contradictory, non? And in other news, could they make the food and wine from the Alps any less sexy than in this article?
The Sun talks about the new publisher for the paper (and The Province) Kevin Bent. This guy sounds like a total striped shirt wearing suit. He is also a total brownnosing suck up calling his new home, Vancouver, "the best place to be in Canada." In a move that even the French would love, the security guards at YVR are giving a 72-hour strike notice later this week which could mean a total airport shutdown.
Metro Vancouver gives us an awesome cover of Bill Clinton being total bored by Bill Gates wishing the AIDS conference they were at was really in Montreal so Bill could enjoy more nightlife. But other than that photographic gem you really have to behold the page 12 Social Eyes column by Warren Frey where he cronicles the weeks bikini contests, office hottie contests, swimwear models, and product whoring models.
It's Monday August the 14 around 12:49PM and
Restaurant reviews are often just as good shorter. So here you go with two mini-reviews for our more attention deficit disordered readers. Sent to us by our new "secret restaurant review team". Kind of like silent shoppers but, well how do put this without getting in crap from the lawyers, more drunk. And go:
Chill Winston (3 Alexander Street):
One of vancouver's great patios. Great design. Great scenery, Great food. And an absolutley amazing, side salad that cost $6 dollars Isn't that usually included, and I wish they had told me that, seeing as it cost almost as much as my main. Killer roast beef/horseradish sangwich too. Plus, the waitresses are "delightful", and more "real" than Cactus Club too. Read not, er, common sense-ily challenged.
Sanafir (1026 Granville Street):
Any restaurant with a freaking bouncer is a place I don't want to be in. I didn't eat there, but seemed to be full of total douch-bags. Too trendy, and completely smug. Don't get me wrong, I like their other hotsot, Glowbal, it's got good service and good food. You feel comfortable there. And Glowal isn't as smug.
It's Monday August the 14 around 10:06AM and
*I'm still trying to reconcile the article this weekend about the No. 22 Bus in town, where the bus driver does trivia and hands out chocolate bars. Really? As if public transit isn't bad enough to be subjected to a guy like this.
*New Gibson angle: "Nobody puts Gibson in the Corner"
*Miss 604 has caught the takeover bug and wants "to walk over to the Dairy Queen right now and take-me-over a Blizzard. Now that would be sweet."
*Vanmega gives us the exciting news of a new batch of Telus ads coming out way.
*Beyond Robson had a post about Whistler being sold. But the comment
*Metroblogging Vancouver was shocked that not everyone knows this. And yet we just found another reason to loathe the CBC for torturing youth.
*Orland Kurtenblog hasn't posted yet since Friday, perhaps the strife they posted about then is still on. Like we said then, plenty of room over here at The Vancouverite boys. Or one of you.
*When Sam Sullivan rolls, he rolls big. Morton's Style. That probably doesn't help with the whole image thing.
*Kitsilano.ca rolls into Royce and finds a most smug shoestore. Although it may not be as smug as Deuce Jeans where the denim is "kick ass" and you get to customize the lining and pockets. Good god.
*I always though this Heinz ad was creepy. Now on hindsight it is doubly so. Perhaps triply.
*I still think after many days of procrastination that this is damned funny. "Livin' Strong" A nice little one act by Golden Fiddle of the days and nights of Lance Armstrong and Mathew Mcconaughey.
*West Coast Moment of Zen: Really Smooth Music just loves Kenny Loggin's This is it.
It's Monday August the 14 around 9:33AM and
Okay, I've seen some pretty amazing things on Craiglist the past week, here is a nice fiver for your Monday:
5. "Commercial Drive is Disgusting" - Money quote: "The whole drive smelled like a mixture of rotting garbage and patchouli."
Here's a thought, if you don't like hippies or Italians, maybe you shouldn't go around throwing your garbage all over Commercial Drive maybe.
4. "Yaletown Brewery Bitch" - Money Quote: "Believe it or not, I wasn’t actually hitting on you, you ugly plastic tart, but I was forced to reach over you and your fellow garden gnomes to grab my drink since you all took over my table."
I think we can all agree that the use of plastic tart and garden gnomes in the same rant is pretty much awesome. PS: Who stills goes to the Yaletown brew pub?
3. "Eric McCormack" Money Quote: "I saw Eric McCormack at Science World today with (?his family). Was going to say hi and ask for an autograph, but then I thought.. 'This guy is out with his family, having a good time, spending quality time. I'm not going to make a big deal over him and ruin their time'"
Wow, this is what happens when your 15 minutes of fame, and WIll & Grace, is finally over. Science world outings with your family. Ouch thats gotta hurt.
2. "To all those hatchback owners who customize their cars..." Money Quote: "Do you and your honda friends get together and say'"Dude! I TOTALLY just beat that VW with the red paint and Nine Inch Nails sticker! I'm sooo fast!! LETS GO TO SKYBAR TO CELEBRATE!'"
It speaks for itself.
1. This one features some rather "colorful language" - "Hey Shitbag" Money Quote: "you where the asshole in the silver toyota heading west on davie at broughton and almost ran me over in the intersection. fortunataley i have just picked up after my dog shit and was carrying the bag when you almost hit me. I throught the bag of shit at your car and splat,, all over it."
Okay, can somebody, anybody, tell me when feces throwing became de rigeur in Vancouver? I didn't get that memo...
It's Monday August the 14 around 9:12AM and
You and I both know I want to stop covering
24 Hours amazing covers and headlines, but come on, when they knock them out of the park like Barry Bonds it must continue. Today's headline,
"Dial 1-800 Crack" is the paper apparently discovering that you can, shock, order drugs via these things we call phones. Plus get caught up on the doings of
Lululemon's smug Flip Flop party.
The Sun meanwhile, ledes with a pretty depressing "More 2010 Budget woes" and the photo under that is of a women praying - although she's praying for peace in Lebanon you crafty devils. An article claiming that some two-bit American show out of Florida has rated the P.N.E. the "'best in Canada' for family entertainmen". Clearly they've never been.
The Province goes bigtime today with a massive "Stolen truck's wild ride ends in arrest" and this story about "a stolen semi-truck careered across the Lower Mainland for more than an hour, blowing through red lights and driving into oncoming traffic" seems more like an opportunity to put a photo of the RCMP's fancy Air 1 - really? Air 1? They could find a cooler name like Airwolf? or Blue Thunder?
UPDATE: Figures. The one day we don't go through the hassle of reading Metro Vancouver in PDF form and we miss Metro giving a shout out to The Vancouverite. So welcome Metro readers if you've found us via that article.
It's Sunday August the 13 around 9:47PM and
I know, I know, I'm 14 days late, but I'm going to make it up to you... with TWO PLAYLISTS. There was a tonne of great stuff I heard over the last little bit and one playlist was not enough to contain this awesomeness! The first playlist is called "Daytime" and is full of more upbeat songs nd the second list is called Nighttime and is full of more mellow laid back tracks. Both are killer and I hope you enjoy them, and let me know which one you prefer. So happy Monday listening, and here are the tracklists: (Album info is available on the playlist pages)
Vancouverie Playlist #8 : Daytime
1) America - Razorlight
2) Melatonin - Silversun Pickups
3) Cowboy - Cathead
4) The Curse Of Being A Girl - Kashmir
5) Meaningless - Raydibaum
6) Quiet As A Mouse - Margot & The Nuclear So And So's
7) Illuminati - Let Go
8) Honest - The Long Winters
9) Anti-Anti - Snowden
10) Oversleeping - I'm From Barcelona
Listen to "Daytime"
The Vancouverite Playlist #8: Nighttime
1) Jessica - Kaki King
2) Hide - Madee
3) Eternal Flame - Joan As Police Woman
4) Dead Meat - Sean Lennon
5) The Light - The Album Leaf
6) I Am Six Pounds Of Dynamite - South San Gabriel
7) It's Personal - The Radio Dept.
8) Hanasakajijii - Anathallo
9) Boston White - Umbrellas
10) Vladimir's Blues - Max Richter
Listen to "Nighttime"
It's Friday August the 11 around 12:54PM and
Welcome to a Friday afternoon clip show of best and worst, or at least how we saw it when we weren't stuffed with cheese and wine. Lets see what this little week in August had to offer us.
HOT
1. Hedy Fry. Damn, we're stil showering five times a day after learning of her Pride Day float and outfit, but she sure as hell would be the best choice to lead the Liberals against Stephen Harper. No question. (Just look at her getting the instructions from the mother ship. So Hot)
2. Rachel McAdams. She is the good girl, chain smoking, celebrity Vancouver deserves. It won't last, not with that Gosling creep around.
3. Spritzers? Jurgen Goethe says so. Don't argue with the man and celebrate the 1980's.
4. Podcasts. Just as Al Gore invented the interweb, The Vancouverite discovered the Podcast this week.
5. Spirit Bear graffiti. The new black.
NOT HOT
1. Jessica Alba. When your dogs are nearly pooping all over stores on Robston St. and everyone on set hates you, you've reached out first #1 cold victim. You're still hot, even though you're a total...
2. Willie Pickton still getting headlines and still a total murdering douche. Bonus points for making our own faithful contributor Luke so drunk with rage he made a bacon joke for a couple hours. And while we on the subject, readers are wondering, we do have a strict no dead baby joke policy. Thanks.
3. Douglas Coupland. When you start writing opeds for the New York Times and calling people fuss-budgets when leading a Q&A for a film you clearly never saw... oh crap, our "Smug-o-meter" just broke.
4. Terry David Mulligan.
5. Jack Layton. Three words pal, "Old Man Jeans." This should be in the Hot list, but it might be too much.
It's Friday August the 11 around 12:51PM and
Peter Whitmore should never be allowed to hit the streets again. In my opinion, rehabilitation means he changes his sexual preference and that's just not going to happen. You couldn't convince a gay man or woman to find burning desire in the opposite sex and you can't convince me to stop being attracted to my wife or women in general ( though I only have eyes for you baby I swear). But the belief is we can make people like Whitmore change their preference. If we didn't believe it then how could anyone with a conscience let him out in public again.
Even if Peter Whitmore, or others of the same breed, had their sexual preference magically changed, they still posses that crazy urge to quench it at whatever cost. So if not a pedophile, then just a rapist. So I need not worry about my son being at the park alone, I need to worry about my wife.
The Crown wants him behind bars for good as a dangerous offender. The RCMP doesn't dig that or the idea of a life sentence for any charges he is facing. That could only mean one thing, the Winnipeg RCMP does not employ those with children or those with souls.
It's Friday August the 11 around 4:06AM and
Blessed is today's
24 Hours cover page. You'd think with
yesterday's foiled terror plot, and the news that security is tightening, again, and in some places doing away with carry on luggage, that the story, "What's Your Bag, Baby?" on
purse psychology would seem to be an odd editorial choice. But bravo, if don't care about purses, ladies, the terrorists have already won.
The Vancouver Sun plays it straight up this morning with copy heavy doomsday headline medly: "A Plot to Outdo 9/11 - They planned to blow up 10 airliners, Tomorrow they were to test the plan, Today 24 suspects are in jail." Meanwhile Vaughn Palmer, who doesn't get near enough love from The Vancouverite, has an unintentionally funny story today, "NDP critic heads down the wrong hole on gas 'subsidies'" which we were disapointed to learn was not about Vancouver-Fairview MLA Gregor Robertson flautulence problems. And then it come as no surprise that everyone's favorite MP David Emerson is not having luck seducing the lumber industry. In fact, "Lumber execs not moved by minister's plea for softwood deal". Perhaps the industry wants a more "hardwood "performance Mr. Emerson. Do did the Liberals and we all know how that worked out...
The Province goes for the more hard hitting, "Terror Plot, Airport Chaos" and totally copies 24 Hours feature of handbags on the cover. But the highlight of this grand paper was their freewheeling editorial "Global terrorism kills our freedom, one small step at a time." This part speaks for itself: "What really brought it home yesterday was, as usual, the little things . . . like the ability to travel with lipstick." Profound. Hardhitting. And the province nails it. If we let them take our lipstick, the terrorists win. Meanwhile don't you feel better that our own Minister of Public Safety, Stockwell Day was in Vancouver to keep us safe? Totally feel safer, and a strange feeling of wanting to put on my wetsuit. Thanks Mr. Day!
BONUS: The Georgia Straight News Blog? Nope, nothing of note in here. No news. Carry on.
DOUBLE SECRET BONUS: How amazing is the airport worker in the red vest on the cover of Metro Vancouver this morning. Damn that bitch is hot! And really, we wonder why the terrorists think they can pull off these murderous stunts with this douche running the show.
It's Thursday August the 10 around 12:51PM and
Thank goodness Vancouver has Lainey. We had a couple days dry spell on Jessica Alba sightings and gossip, which comes to a hilarious end today.
Here it is:
"Downtown Vancouver, Robson Street is where shoppers converge. Ms Alba has been taking her dog in to many of the shops, practically sh*tting all over the salespeople, putting things on hold and special ordering items for pick up at a later date because naturally, she's too good to carry her own bags. And PAY for it herself. What happens is that a stylist or a member of the crew will come in later on to haul back her stuff, apparently putting all of it on the film's account..."
Our Lainey goes on to say that Miss Alba is, "flanked by four assistants round the clock, when she's not on camera, she's wrapped in a fur blanket and Uggs because there's only been a frickin' record breaking heat wave sweeping through Vancouver" and better yet, "the entire crew can't stand her and none of them were happy with their assignment either, especially since they remember her assy-ness when she was in town for Dark Angel a few years back."
Miss Lainey also has the scut on Alba's rival Rachel McAdams doing yoga and seen smoking cigarettes.
It's Thursday August the 10 around 12:18PM and
*The new
Westender this week front Peaches and the best opener this week: "When electrotrash vixen Peaches named her third album Impeach My Bush, she was clearly thinking about the U.S. president. But more specifically, she was thinking about him drenched in lube, wearing high heel do-me boots, and covering his WMD with a sparkling champagne-coloured thong."
*Peaches gets the Vancouver Sun treatement here. And the baby seal treatment from PETA.
*Also in the Westender Andrew Morrison discovers, literally, a new SoCal style Taco Shack. Damn.
*Kitsilano.ca notes its bikini and flip flop weekend in Kits with a multitude of parties. Including Lululemon's creepy Flip Flop Soiree where: "$95 covers a luminous night of tasty cuisine, animated dancing, drumming and entertainment, a lip-smacking cocktail and a gift bag filled with goodies all in support of the Centre for Integrated Healing."
*Metroblogging Vancouver discovers Vancouvers dark secret society of pimped out scooter owners: "You: 20-something guy, Monday night on the sidewalk by the gas station at Hastings and Renfrew. Me: driving past, gaping at the idea that anyone would put blue neon low-rider lights under their electric sidewalk scooter."
*Gwyeth Paltrow becomes, "the whitest white girl in the entire white world."
*This is crazy. People are now getting tatoos of actual brand logos. Naomi Klein is probably having a heart attack as we speak. Gawker breaks it down: "Sometimes a story comes along where all we can say is 'What a bunch of douchebags.'"
*Details of the dirty underbelly world of movie junkets. And if anyone wants to know we at The Vancouverite totally heart shameless junkets.
*Grindhouse posters are out.
*This video for Appalachian State University is HOT HOT HOT! If you do one thing with your life today, click this link okay.
*Your Moment of West Coast Zen: The Adventures of Tek Jansen with a most sensual nemisis.
It's Thursday August the 10 around 11:42AM and
Ah, Thursdays. When we can go out grab a free newspaper and enjoy all that the majestry of alternate journalism and all it has to offer. Here's your weekly top five best/worst things about The Georgia Straight. Let's do this:
5. Single of the Week, John. Le sigh. He likes his eggs, "In an omelette with freshly squeezed OJ, fresh sourdough from one of our great local bakeries and of course, prepared by me." John, my poor misguided John, of course by you will be cooking them, you're single remember, and no wonder judging by the looks of it, you're the real estate agent of Creepy Town.
4. Unintentionally funny headline: "Simon says he’ll get more balls this fall."
3. Oh, no you didn't Jurgen Gothe. Did you just drop the spritzer bomb? Why yes, yes he did.
2. Number of Posts in Georgia Straight News Blog from August 2-10th? 1. Apparently the Straight has already lost intrest in blogging the news.
1. The Cover story, taking a brief sojurn from simple photography of late, promises an exciting news story on "Spinning the Wars" - "Politicians rely on clever techniques to win your support for military adventures in the Middle East and Afghanistan." I'm not sure anyone told Charlie Smith this or not, but this whole marketing of the wars thing doesn't seem to be working right now. That would have been interesting to mention. Oh, and while the topic is hot, no mention of the whole fautography from Lebanon, which is the ultimate in modern war propaganda? Green Helmet {Warning: Graphic Photos.]? Anyone? Anyone?
It's Thursday August the 10 around 10:48AM and
Is Willie Pickton getting a break? Not really... they are just going to avoid dragging this case out by splitting it into multiple cases? All 26 counts could be too much for the jurors to comprehend so they will start with 6 according to Justice James Williams. Really he is just saying that jurors are typically slow and unfocused.
If Willie is found guilty of 1, maybe 2 of the murders, why waste our time and money figuring out if he is guilty for the rest? Honestly though, in Canada it shouldn't really matter if the man is guilty as sin or innocent. The sentence for a crime this size probably won't be more than 5 years, or 3 weeks with good behavior. By good behavior I mean not raping other prisoners and then hiding their body parts in your cell.
I am sure the victims families are loving the fact this guys entire sentence will be played out waiting for our legal system to do it's thing.
It's Wednesday August the 9 around 10:13AM and
*A
Special Vancouverite Tipster saw
NDP Leader Jack Layton at a fundraiser for the
Dr. Peter Centre this past weekend. Mr. Layton who was seen drinking $2.50 cheap beers and talking to everyone and generally being friendly with the tranny's "had really ugly jeans on, old man style [with] pukey blue with distinct yellow stitching." Incredible news. Reminds us of the old
Saturday Night Live "Mom Jeans" ad.
Layton you are on fire! And we can take comfort that Jack has moved on from tank tops and orange cowboy hats.
In related news, there also appeared to be a drag queen who failed a major fashion test. "'s/he' was committing a serious fashion faux pas....felt dresses should NEVER be worn until after labour day...sheesh you would think they taught that in drag queen skool" Our education system is as lacking as ever.
*Darren Parkman over at 24 Hours is stalking Michael Buble. Well, not really but two Buble spottings in one column:
"[Buble] was spotted looking downright casual at London Drugs on Robson last week. Clad in a T-shirt and jeans, Buble says he's getting set to hit the studios to record his new album, and he hopes to have even more more creative control this time around. Buble was also recently spied clowning around with his girlfriend, actress Emily Blunt, during a quiet dinner at Cin Cin on Robson street."
Thank god, Buble knows the glory of London Drugs.
*Meanwhile Chasing Vancouver has all the news on Pierce Brosnan filming in Gastown. I think he used to be James Bond or something.
*As we were searching for more hot Jack Layton action, we couldn't help but notice this hilarious upcoming NDP event.
"Scotch & Port" Tasting Party
5th Annual Mount Pleasant Highlands
Jenny Kwan and the Vancouver-Mount Pleasant NDP would like to invite you to this elegant gathering featuring a selection of fine, single malt scotches and smooth ports. Wine and beer available. Accompanied by various cheeses, haggis and smoked salmon. Music by bagpipe. "
Oh yeah. Nothing says fun on a bun like this friends. Like chocolate and peanut butter, Jenny Kwan, Scotch, and Haggis. Naturally.
*I think I mentioned Hedy Fry's parade float and mechanical bull. I think this Flickr trove of Pride photos has the money shot as it were. And finally, Hedy Fry in all her glory.
It's Wednesday August the 9 around 9:23AM and
I don't know how much I have to offer. I just ate two ridiculous $4 macaroons from
Fauchon and I am in some sort of patisserie coma right now. Don't worry someone already pointed out to us how smug that sounds. But now that I can actually see again here's some buzz worthy stories you might enjoy:
*is it me, or is this Burger King commercial "Outcast" especially creepy?
*Finally a replacement for smoking. Welcome to the wonderful world of smokeless tabacco. Jossip: '"No question here, these tea bags will still kill you. Plus, you have the added douchebaggery of asking the hottie outside the bar "can I bum one of your tea bags?" And who knows what'll end up in your mouth if you go that route."
*I liked the pilot for Sorkin's new show. But how does it compare to the new Tina Fey show "30 Rock" which gets a lengthy trailer. One plus: Alec Baldwin.
*The annual "should we do the fireworks nextyear" hot potato competition gets underway. Maybe we can finally agree just to allow the evil cigarette makers and booze makers to pay.
*Finally somebody gives one the Spirit Bears what was coming to him.
*Starbucks had a bad week last week with its "Frappuccinos Defense" but is this a bigger economic problem?
*Metro profiles Elaine Lui of Lainey's Gossip.
*Ground breaking plan to clean up the alleys and lanes of the Downtown Eastside. Wait for it...they are going to clean them more often. Wow. Why didn't they think about that earlier. Just clean more. So it's less dirty. Genuis. They will try it until September 8th then go back to it looking like crap.
*Beyond Robson finds the dark underbelly that is Douglas Coupland. "Coupland left a sour taste in the room when he abruptly wrapped up the post film discussion and called one lady "a fuss-budget" because she had the temerity to criticize it."
*I guess if we're doing podcasts, we can appreciate 24 Hours doing them. I think they have a winner of they continue to let Devon Swift do them. Especially when he talks about his love for Survivor's Colby from like 5 years ago.
*Your Daily Hoff.
*Your Moment of West Coast Zen: Is Britney taking crazy pills?
It's Wednesday August the 9 around 7:59AM and
My little squirt just turned 3 years old in March. He's a bit behind so he is just in that terrible two's phase. God damn these are good times folks. To best describe what he is like is an alarm clock that is forever going WHAA WHAA WHAA and hitting you and throwing things, spitting and tossing feces. Now I wouldn't dare harm him as visible marks will land me in a heap of trouble, and obviously I just couldn't bring myself to hurting precious junior.
The Solution: Put Payback on Layaway
This might be applicable to a lot of parents in my position. I am keeping a journal of everything he does and signing it and when possible attaching pictures. That way when he turns 18 I can embarrass and kick the crap out of him for everything he is doing now. If he brings girls over I will delight them in stories of me and his moms sexual deviance, not limited to putting fresh streaks on the glass table. I figure by that time I will be hitting 50 years old so it will be a fair fight. If he grows into my shoes he will probably have an advantage anyways,
It's Tuesday August the 8 around 11:18AM and
Well it had to happen sooner or later, although I always hoped for later. But we've done it, we've recorded what appears to be some sort of interweb radio show. Granted it sounds more like we used two styrofoam cups and a piece of string in our bathroom, but no one will be listening anyway will they?
Anyway, you can listen to this primative and inaugural podcast right here.
I think you can actually hear the monkeys flinging their feces in the background, and obviously no iTunes download quite yet, since we need the sheep hearding Kazakstani tech people to tell us how this whole RSS feed thingy works. Think of this as a "pilot" to an actual podcast show that might be good some day, if you seem to like it, we'll do some more.
Show Liner Notes (Some links to some of things we talk about):
*New Order: Age of Consent
*The Wicker Man (official site)
*Lainey's Entertainment Update
*Lynne McNamara
*Jaunted.com's Chasing Vancouver
*Jamie Lee Hamilton on the Pride Parade
*Frank Black Concert Dates
*Die Hard: The Music Video
*Marie Antoinette
*Paris Plage
*Cinema au clair de lune 2006
*The Darjeerling Limited at Hollywood Elsewhere
It's Tuesday August the 8 around 9:35AM and
Reading the Metro this morning, because someone has to, I found an article about how WWE Wrestling makes Males and Females more prone to fight. That must mean that the following could be said:
* Men and Women that watch Sex and The City are more likely to dole out blow-job since watching the show for the first time.
* Women between the age of 15 and 19 are EVEN more likely to give a delivery guy a blow-job despite what he looks like now that they have seen Sex and the City and saw how cool blow-jobs are.
* People that watch the View are more likely to try and kill themselves five times a week instead of just once.
* Women that watch Martha Stewart are more often found doing jack-shit around the house because they are too busy watching these shows and not actually doing anything.
* The Coast Guard reports an increase in dead bodies in remote islands, apparently viewers of the show LOST are trying to re-create their favorite show, just without the mobile buffet and paramedics on hand.
* Viewers, like me, of Prison Break are more likely to try sodomy now, studies I have done suggest.
* 0% of Canadian Idol viewers actually exist, because no one watches that show.
I made all this stuff up and I am sure someone made up the WWE stats. Though I am not a regular viewer of wrestling I don't think it makes you more violent, maybe just more stupid.
It's Tuesday August the 8 around 3:17AM and
It's Tuesday, do you know what's filming around town?
*First tonight at the Nat, The Vancouver Canadians game is Hollywood North Night! Here is the hot details: "Nat Bailey Stadium will be transformed into "Tinsel Town" for the evening as baseball fans are treated to a real Hollywood experience. In attendance will be actors Chris Kramer (The Collector), Anita Brown (Godiva's, Dead Zone) and film stuntman Brad Loree. There will also be a host of other attractions including Paparazzi and the snakes from "Snakes on a Plane."
*Lynne McNamara's Saturday column is full of awesomeness. Let's break it down:
-Apparently now that Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn have left Vancouver she's writing and directing a movie called Ashes to Ashes and talking to the American Association of Retired Persons. That's her demo.
-Spike Lee is coming to town. He is speaking at the Orpheum August 12th. Question, why is Terry David Mulligan the moderator. Does Spike Lee know of this?
-Halle Berry - who may or may not be pregnant - starts filming her next bit of box office poison August 14th, her 40th Birthday. How did that happen? What she fails to mention is that we will also be treated to Benicio Del Toro sightings and the return to Vancouver for David Duchovny who really enjoyed his last stay. [Things We Lost in the Fire] She also doesn't mention the amazing Halle website, Hallewood.
-Ice Cube, who used to be cool - remember when, starting shooting out in Burnaby's Deer Lake the sequel to Are we There Yet, Are We Done Yet. Smells like comedy gold, Jerry.
*No sign of Vancouver's Charles Martin Smith in the trailer for Lucky You, a poker movie with Drew Barrymore, Eric Bana and Robert Duvall. I might say, lucky him. Plot summary: "A hotshot poker player tries to win a tournament in Vegas, but is fighting a losing battle with his personal problems." Curtis Hanson who brough us LA Confidential is now bringing us a poker movie?
*And can you wrap up the Vancouver movie scene without mention of insane director Uwe Boll? His next movie going into production is Postal and stars, Gary Coleman. Cinematical notes that Mr. Boll is trying to get Sacha Baron Cohen to play opposite. Let's hear those Gary Coleman sightings as this one is going to camera.
*The originally slated to be Filmed in Vancouver movie, The Transformers gets the Access Hollywood treatment and an interview with Director Michael Bay. Thankfully Michael Bay is not running around Vancouver right now.
It's Tuesday August the 8 around 2:47AM and
You had three golious days off, now its back to work. To shake off the cobwebs here's some tidbits you may have missed when you were drunk. This will sober you up enough to work this morning:
*I can't believe that 24 Hours just goes straight to hard news this morning with a story of a Vancouver cop who went to Cambodia to investigate the sex industry. What happened to you 24 Hours.
*The Sun has a feature on up-and-comers to watch for. Most of them are boring like lawyers, but then of course there is actress turned designer Stacy Grant who gets a big plug.
*Pride Parade remainders I: 24 Hours reports that MP Hedy Fry won Best Community, Individual, Political or Union. Way to go Hedy. The judges choice, "Pumpjack Pub's" obviously.
*Pride Parade remainders II: Jamie Lee Hamilton gives us more details. "Hedy Fry, who is a Liberal leadership contender, looked ravishing as a Old style Saloon Gurl. I was really hoping she would mount that mechanical bull which was front and centre of her float." Are you awake now? Then again there is this:
"I ran into another community stalwart, NDP member for Van-East, Ms Libby Davies, who graciously offerred me her sunscreen. After she introduced me to the federal NDP leader, Mr. Jack Layton, Libby proceeded to apply her sunscreen to my arms and back. I informed Libby that was probably the first time she has ever rubbed a Tranny."
Dear God...
*While the Pride Parade was happening, Prime Minister Harper was at Senator Gerry St. Germains ranch B-B-Q this weekend. How fun does this sound: ""the pre-eminent BBQ event of the summer season." More than 1,500 Conservatives assembled at the senator's ranch - which featured a horse stable where the stalls had been converted into bars." The should have invited Hedy and Libby for some real action. [Public Eye Online]
*I find the idea of competitive kart racing creepy. That is why you don't cross the Port Mann bridge ever friends. It's a jungle out there.
*Finally some soothing good news: Frank Black is coming back to Vancouver, and the Commodore Ballroom this November. More Cowbell has the tour dates.
*Also making his way to Vancouver soon is the one, the only, William Shatner who is getting the Roast treatment at Comedy Central August 20th with the tagline, "The Shat Hits the Fan". Oh, Shatner will be Vancouver to host the first Canadian awards for Electronic and Animated Arts.
*Curry spice is a brain booster. Good to know.
*Your Moment of West Coast Zen: Lean on Me.
It's Monday August the 7 around 6:26AM and
Most of you sane people are not at your computers. Good. But if you needz you some useless information, you've come to the right place. Giddy up:
*Apparently it is hot out. But how would you know this? Watch Jon Stewart talk about the phenomenon known as heat. Hilarity ensues. "Even Mandingo think it hot"
*CKNW's news story from the pride parade is amazing: "The 28th annual Pride Parade is taking place in downtown Vancouver today. Hundreds of floats are making there way through the west end in a blur of feathers and sparkles this afternoon." Fabulous!
*Nice to see Larry King interviewing Ricky Bobby. CNN always one step ahead of Fox in fake news.
*Very funny Vince McMahon. The new WWE movie "The Marine" is coming soon and it looks utterly ridiculous.
*It seems the Eels were in fine form at Lollapalooza as Whitney Matheson explains: "I'm not sure if there's always a muscled, biker-looking dude in the background doing kung-fu moves and screaming non-sequitors like, "Is that cocktail sauce?" between songs." Nice.
*Thank god. Patrick Swayze crawls out from under a rock long enough to support his pal Mel Gibson.
*Could the "Two Sisters and a Brotha" be no more? News that Vancouver Canuck Anson Carter will probably cash in and leave the sisters.
*The people in Surrey will be happy to know that GM is bringing back the Camaro.
*More Rachel McAdams in Vancouver photos.
*The trailer for Hollywoodland looks interesting.
*New Borat trailer too. No wonder it's getting hot.
*Your Moment of West Coast Zen: Karaoke Don from Keeping the Faith.
It's Sunday August the 6 around 7:05PM and
Pride week is coming to a close and the parade today was a smash. I didn't go because I don't live downtown and getting there sucks and parking is ridiculous. I don't know anything about it anymore anyways because I am not gay and my gay friends have abandoned me since I got married and had kids. Apparently they only wanted me for my booty. Hope it was a blast though.
It's Sunday August the 6 around 12:49PM and
Sounds like Ross is strapped for cash. Suing CTV because a character in a TV show no one will watch bears some resemblance to him, they are both Snowboarders and both deadbeats. Since something so asinine is acceptable, and most likely fruitless, I have a couple things I want to sue as well.
1. Being close to seven feet tall I want to sue everyone that is responsible for anything. My back always hurts and Physio costs a crapload. I think being this big is a disability, yet no one gave two shits about me when they made the Skytrain with a 6'6" clearance, or the bus with slightly less. Or the doorways everywhere that I smash my already dented forehead on, or a car that won't fit me without lubrication or a restaurant with big fat people tables where I can actually sit in comfort, or when the sleazy punk at Tip Top asked me why I wasn't shopping at Mr. Big and Tall before he even knew why I was in there. Even my employer crams me into a desk that my knees won't fit in. Someone is going down for this...and if any lawyer reads this, or has someone read it to them, send me an email at luke.mccullum@gmail.com and you can buy me lunch while we talk about sticking it to the man and his wallet...
2. George Lucas named a sissy fake sword wielding no facial hair, puberty skipped me *edit* Luke Skywalker. I came first though and since I killed my father too, this character was based on me. The fact Skywalker was such a sissy girl, it is also defamation. I want blood OR I want compensation for therapy to the tune of 10 million dollars and a talking role in the next LucasFilms production or at least I want to be in a scene with female nudity.
Again if any lawyers read this, assuming lawyers can read, or if Erin Brokovich reads this send me an email and you can bid on taking these cases while you wine me and dine me and rub my aching back.
It's Sunday August the 6 around 7:39AM and
*Lainey has the dirt on more Rachel McAdams sightings and doings. Until McAdams and Jessica Alba have a full on cat fight this is about as good as it gets.
*Ah, the 2006 Celebration of Light is over. We'll miss the good times: "325 liquor seizures and pour-outs, 12 adults arrested for being intoxicated in a public place, as well as 4 juveniles arrested for being drunk in a public place, and 5 fights, two of which ended in stabbings."
*Zach Morris would be so proud. This video for Smirnoff, "Tea Partay" is too unbelievable for words. [via Adrants]
*Gibson's own Ryan Dempster, now of the Chicago Cubs, misses his teamate Greg Maddux proving how great it would be to be a baseball player once again. "We've been sharing locker space for three years," [Dempster] said. "It's kind of weird not having him there to talk about golf or talk about pitching, farting on each other, whatever it is." [Deadspin]
* Notes from the Nat reports on the C's latest loss being like a DQ blizzard.
*We told you about the Chorizo in the sausage race. Aparently he's out for the season.
*I don't understand the renaissance of rosé wine. I do like that it was once compared to Jerry Bruckheimer movies, which seems fitting.
*Jack Nicholson bough Marlon Brando's hobo house and is probably going to tear it down and plant flowers.
*Hot trailer: Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny. Prepare yourselves.
*If you've never watched this long clip with Kevin Smith talking about his Superman ordeal and run ins with hairdresser turned producer Jon Peters you're missing out.
*Your Moment of West Coast Zen: the begining of Woody Allen's 1979 classic, Manhattan.
It's Friday August the 4 around 2:47PM and
Honestly this is such a piss off. If I was Matt Drudge I'd have a little flashing siren going off on the site, but we don't. And the fact that I have to hear from some posters at Craigslist that the first bit of smutty gossip in the city, teased by 94.5 The Beat for about three days, on the subject of some cheating Vancouver celebrity, was pulled at the last minute. This is an outrage!
Here is what we know (and for the love of god, please if you can fill in any real details, drop us an email). From what I can tell 94.5 The Beat did what this Craiglister alleges:
Not impressed that after 3 days of hype that you don’t have the Balls to spill the beans and let us know the local celebrity that’s cheating. Yeah yeah, threatened lawsuit by the cheating hubby, the wife was about to announce the name of her husband thats cheating and you cut her off with 20 minutes of music and come back and say you’re not going to talk about this incident again. How about keeping your 3 days of promises and have the wife or girlfriend share the name?? I understand DJ Kid Carson not wanting to be fired as management threatened him, but come on the press the beat would have garnered from this would have covered the out of court settlement with the cheater. I’m sure the name will come out anyway. Now all you have done is leave your listeners feel cheated… Bye bye Beat. Allright Craiglist readers... Any ideas on who is the local cheatin mystery man?? They say hes a Big Local TV Celeberty??
Okay, lawsuit, cheating, radio, Kid Carson, local TV celebrity. Got it. Either this is a muzzled story, or The Beat pulled off the greatest publicity stunt since
Rethink put money under 3M's glass. Well, accept that no one is writing about this. Anyway, let's throw out the alleged cheaters:
Suspect 1: Squire Barnes
It's Squire Barnes, the sneaky little bastard.
Maybe they didn't want to release the name because it is Squire Barns and the thought of him having someone to cheat on is too much to take.
Suspects 2 & 3: Tom Larscheid and/or John Shorthouse
Good rumour...Wonder if it is Larscheid or Shorthouse, or both?
Good lord. Isn't Larscheid like 80. Gross. Moving on. Too many other options to contemplate.
Suspect Number 4: Gordon Campbell
It's Gordon Campbell. He's had a mistress for years. The press have been wanting to say something, but they don't have any solid evidence yet. Gordo's been doing a good job staying discreet, but he'll screw up.
Don't expect the good people at Global to break it htough. Nope, the leak will come from a gossip outlet such as the Beat. Sad, really. The 4th Estate my ass.
Gordon Campbell is such a pimp. He's like Vancouver's Bill Clinton, without any charisma. Charming I'm sure.
But what can be said about this further information on our mystery Cheater:
I don't listen to the Beat but I have heard from reliable sources that one of our local married sportscasters is into the submissive side of bdsm , in otherwords, he likes playing the slave. He has a profile on a bdsm site, sans pic. natch Never got a name. My source was maddeningly tight-lipped, but I have my suspicions.
Now we really hope it isn't Squire Barnes. Wow, The Beat, you really screwed us. Thanks for nothing. Now we are left only with question, and thoughts of Squire Barnes in bondage. I may have thrown up a little there and blacked out. What happened. Thanks Craigslist.
It's Friday August the 4 around 2:12PM and
You get so used to the rest of the known world kissing Vancouver's ass, that it is sometimes a wake up call when The Sporting News labels you #52 in its annual rankings of sports cities. Not only that we fee 11 spots from last year. Oh the shame. Wait a second, people still read the Sporting News? Wierd.
Anyway, Orland Kurtenblog sums up the reasons for our poor showing, since The Sporting News doesn't give any reasons.
As for Vancouver, I think hosting the most successful Grey Cup in recent years should count for something, as well as selling out every single regular season Canucks' game. And don't forget about hosting the Canadian Open. But the fact remains: win-loss records and playoff appearances are at the top of the list, and the Lions and Canucks both bit the big one in 2005.
Apparently this means that the Canucks need to actually win, and not just talk about giving 110% for the regular season and then choke. I get it now. This is a coded message for that empty suit Nonis who is embarassing the entire city, thanks a lot, jerk. Over to you Dave.
It's Friday August the 4 around 9:44AM and
Oh my god this is the best story of the day. CKNW has this headline on their website this morning:
"Thieves take vet's euthanasia drugs - could prove deadly." The
CBC gives slightly more comprehensive and less unintentionally funny coverage:
Police have issued a warning about some deadly drugs stolen from a veterinarian's car in East Vancouver on Thursday.
They were able to recover some of the drugs used to euthanize animals, but warn that 11 glass vials of the drugs are still missing.
Police say they're worried the thief may end up using or selling the drugs.
It would be a total shame if these idiot theives sold this stuff and somebody innoncent died. (Note to self: maybe don't buy those black market animal drugs and tranquilizers from the guy down on Hastings tonight.) Rather, let's hope these clowns keep these for themselves and party it up all weekend. Case closed.
It's Friday August the 4 around 9:33AM and
The Province's
Joey Thompson has done some reporting on Vancouver's Taxi cabs. Not only are they hard to find, and rarely know where they are going (well, better than Beijing), and worst of all, Toronto has more of them per person than we do:
The statistics tell all; Vancouver has one cab per 1,360 people while Toronto offers a taxi for every 540 residents. Vancouver's population has grown by 129,000 since 1986. Dozens of condos now mark the downtown skyline. Tourism has made steady gains and cruise ships disgorge thousands of visitors every summer yet the city has added only 20 permanent cabs in that time.
And there lies part of the problem. The Passenger Transportation Board and city hall restricts the number of cab licences, making them a hot commodity fetching upwards of $400,000 a piece.
So I count multiple problems with Vancouver Taxis, but who's counting. There aren't enough of them, and they are useless. I guess more would be a start.
It's Friday August the 4 around 6:01AM and
Well, we made it to Friday and the news is coming in nice and slow and Jessica Alba is playing with penguins in Alberta. So take it easy and lets groove on some links.
*Not only is Bruce Willis reprising the John McClane role that made his now sad career being seen with as Defamer puts it, "pretending to enjoy hugging sweaty men in rented raccoon suits", but they are about to start shooting in Vancouver. Now the film has a title: "Live Free or Die Hard" and a release date June 29, 2007. Let the Bruce Willis sightings begin.
*Not enough Die Hard for you? Take this: Die Hard the Music Video.
*Inside the CBC points out that "Chris Haddock’s new CBC drama series Intelligence" is fully into production.
*At the San Francisco International Wine Competition, local design and marketing gurus Brandever won a crapload of awards. The company won four double golds for "Lotusland, 2002 Gewurztraminer, Stone's Throw Vines, Vancouver Coast, BC; Blasted Church Vineyard, LHBA Optima 2003, Stone's Throw Vines, Vancouver Coast, BC; Laughing Stock Vineyards, 2004 Portfolio, Vancouver Coast, BC; Lotusland, 2002 Merlot, Vancouver Coast, BC" Nice. And that was only some of the awards.
*The Butterscotch Stallion, Owen Wilson confirms that he's in on Wes Anderson's next film, The Darjeeling Limited, a film that Hollywood Elsewhere dubs, "the India flick". "Wes Anderson will direct off a script written by Anderson, Jason Schwartzman and Roman Coppola."
*A totally interesting and stunning two part (part one, part two) interview with Paul Buckley with Penguins Vice President Executive Art Director over at Hear, Hear. I particularly like the artwork for The Jungle .
*Wow. An entire movie devoted to Jessica Simpsons, chest. Employee of the Month.
*Your Moment of West Coast Zen: Afternoon Delight in the aquajet 9000. If you don't agree, I will fight you. That's no lie.
It's Friday August the 4 around 5:15AM and
The Sun goes for huge, solemn, coverage of
"Canada's Worst Day" and no less than four stories on the bloody day of events in Afghanistan. Using the photo of killed soldier Cpl. Christopher Jonathan Reid to tell more than a thousand words could.
The Province as usual goes for the big story with a throw away above the masthead headline abdout "Canada's bloodiest day in Afghanistan", but looks like they had already laid out the human interest story of a mother expecting conjoined twins. Of course they return to real sports today as well profiling wacky Adam Braidwood, the B.C. born Edmonton Eskimo lineman who once ate "25 McDonald's apple pies in a single sitting"
24 Hours tries hard to strike a serious note today with their lede headline "Why are we there" about Canadian troops in Afghanistan, after the worst day since arriving in 2002. Things we never thought we'd hear from MP Hedy Fry: "I think most of our constituents are saying, you know, we gave our word, let's do our best." Of course, this being 24 Hours they temper that seriousness with a colorful "Out and About" in honor of the Pride Festival as well as "8 Great Reason to have a gay friend" including: "6 Bored and poor on Sunday? The Pumpjack pub has cheap drinks on a Sunday but you'll DEFINITELY need a gay friend as a chaperone or you'll be eaten by the bears."
The Westender ledes with an ad, er, I guess a story on the film Little Miss Sunshine. Meanwhile Andrew Morrison unearths the hidden secret of Parkside restaurant, "By no means is it a secret, though: the 60-seater is just far enough off the fashionista radar to make it tolerable to those more inclined to sit long, eat well, drink from a deep wine and cocktail list, and laugh honestly - without the glam and glitz that too often passes for a good dining experience nowadays." Oh, and one last cover gem, a profile on World Party.
It's Thursday August the 3 around 1:34PM and
You would think that taking another life would mean less freedom and liberty for you. Apparently not. Kelly Ellard ,apart from taking an innocent life, is again taking the tax payer's money and blowing it trying to avoid a harsh penalty for her ridiculously harsh crime. Don't frickin kill people if you can't afford to give up your precious time being thrown in the slammer where your rotten ass belongs.
Out of all of this, what really bothers me the most, is all the people that had a big fat hissy some poor taxpayer with a really disgusting mangled ding dong gets the GOVT to help him cover his surgery. Get the priorities in your "hate list" in order folks. An innocent man's pee pee is far more important than a killers civil rights.
It's Thursday August the 3 around 10:37AM and
The Georgia Straight attempts to make its most interesting issue in years this week. And no, its not just because of the
lesbians on the cover. Or the blatant
Fireworks better with booze article. Although, that doesn't hurt I'd imagine. It has been awhile since I've had the pleasure, but here we go. It's our weekly flip through the king of free papers and the bastion of faux alternative news, The Georgia Straight. Sit back, and let's go throught the best and/or the worst of the city's biggest alt-weekly rag. Go:
5. What the hell? The Straight has blogs? Like three of them? How 21st century. This is both good and bad. Yay blogs. But honestly a health blog? You're an alternative paper lads, how about a sex blog to start?
4. Why must they continue with the City Single of the Week? And can't they pick interesting people instead of people who read Dan Brown and probably should have given up cocktail waitressing about 6 years ago? Dear Stacey, no tease of past lesbian experimentation is going to change the fact that you're single, honey. And you woudn't sell your soul for a billion dollars? Come on.
3. Jurgen Gothe writes about wine. And I love the fact that he tells there is a French wine called Arrogant Frog. "It pours deep purple, like Welch’s grape juice, hammers at you with tannins up the yin-yang (if the wine geeks can call for garrigue, I can do yin-yang), but comes across the palate quite intense and robust and just lies down and purrs with a creamy, runny Chaource cheese and some of those Lesley Stowe cranberry-nut crisps."
2. Our Cyborg Mayor Sam Sullivan discovers that the Aqua Buses in addition to being completely silly are death traps. It's probably some sort of left wing voo doo or karma for allowing the explosion of big box stores into the city. But that article is really only about this lefty credential ass covering money shot: "The sharp increase in the price of oil will destroy the economy on which many big-box stores are built, he said: cheap, long-distance trucking."
1. Did I just read this in the Georgia Straight? "So, in July 2006, while Israel was fighting for her very life, and Lebanon and Palestine were being ground to bits, and Iraq was descending deeper into a hell of throat-slitting and suicide bombing, Canada’s “antiwa"" WOW. Apparently this Terry Glavin piece was misunderstood by the editors and slipped in by accident. Does Charlie Smith know about this article? Maybe not, he might have been too busy writting about the PumpJack.
It's Thursday August the 3 around 7:59AM and
Obviously
Miss 604 was correct when
she said, "it's never too early/late to talk about hockey." And to prove the thesis, a new Canucks blog has launched.
Orland Kurtenblog promises that they're "Kind Of A Big Deal" suggesting, ""People know the Kurtenblog. We're very important. We have many leather-bound books and this blog smells of rich mahogany."
Mmmm. rich mahogany. And they seem to speak the truth, and a lot of trash, having already been noticed by Deadspin, American Hockey Fan, and Off Wing Opinion.
But golden nuggets of Canuckistan lore like what Jim Sandlak has been doing, Garth Snow being kind of a pimp, and the legendary tales of Petri Skirko are no doubt only the beginging.
Welcome to the party pals. I like it.
It's Thursday August the 3 around 7:50AM and
I'm pretty sure the Vancouver Whitecaps need to fire their promotions director. They just don't get it:
The Whitecaps are offering a free ticket to the first 500 girls accompanied by a paying adult wearing a ponytail for their game on Friday against the Seattle Sounders Saints.
"The ponytail is symbolic of women in sport, combining femininity and athletics," said Bob Lenarduzzi, the Whitecaps director of soccer operations. "We have a number of players on our team that wear ponytails on the pitch."
How totally lame. Deadspin finds the gems of Minor League Baseball this week for a quick comparisson of fun promotions. They include: Napoleon Dynamite Night with Efren Ramirez, Superhero Saturday, College Course Giveaway, and my favorite Britney Spears Baby Safety Night. The key being fun Whitecaps.
It's Thursday August the 3 around 7:19AM and
*Where have we been.
Vancouver is the future according a post over at Craigslist: "Way to go vancouver, you truly are the city of the future, with your sparkling homes in the sky. Your your talking trash compactors in your local fast food restaurants, your high speed robot trains, and last but not least your cyborg mayor. If anyone asks you can tell them the future is now. " Sullivan's a cyborg. Oh crap.
*Darren Barefoot's play about balls, "Bolloxed" is sending out media kits with jock straps. Genuis.
*The new trailer for the DVD release of Hostel is over the top, gory, fun. [NSFW] Unseen Edition out August 7.
*As you know, I still can't stand poker. But damned if I don't find the combination of useless hottie Anna Benson and bitchiness at the World Series of Poker like chocolate and peanut butter.
*Alec Baldwin blogs all over Mel Gibson and gives shouts out to JC for the Huffington Post.
*Just because. The making of "It Was a Very Good Year"
*Remember 1982 when First Blood came out, and it was so cool that they filmed that in like Hope. Well, Rambo IV is on the way. Mr. Stallone, please don't come back to film here. Thanks.
*Look here, I'm sure The Province editors could get this on the front page tomorrow. Don't smoke in bed.
*Fireworks from last night just as anti-climactic as they are on Flickr this morning.
*Diddy is so amazing he goes 5 1/2 late to his own fancy party.
*You think its hot in North America? Try this comparisson of how it feels in Europe. Case in point; "Budapest has trams with NO air conditioning. Homeless people smell better than the interiors of these trams, because they are filled with dozens of people for whom deodorant is a foreign concept."
*Everyone else seems to be talking about this, so here you go. Elisabeth Hassleback goes off on The View.
*Your Moment of West Coast Zen:: Break out the rollerskates, and Don't stop the Music Steve Guttenberg.
It's Thursday August the 3 around 6:42AM and
There's a lot to cover today and news that
Jessica Alba is in fact currently filming in Edmonton. I guess us nosey Vancouverites really pissed her off. Bitch.
*Lainey reports that Rachel McAdams is working on something here and was filming on Seymour street this week. Oh and she's the anti-Alba: "Rachel was walking to the set, eating watermelon. Angie passed her on the street, super close. Being the friendly girl she is, Angie was like 'Oh! Hi!' and Rachel - unlike that f&cking bitch Jessica Alba - said 'Hi' back. " The film is Marriage with Pierce Brosnan about "A 1940s-set drama where an adulterous man plots his wife's death instead of putting her through the humiliation of a divorce." McAdams is like a Happy Meal. Damn you Gosling.
*Lynne McNamara reports on the just wrapped Mathew Broderick/Danny Devito film Deck the Halls and tales of "DeVito offer[ing] thrilled fans rides in his golf cart", news on the best damned voice talent in the city David Kaye, and Mark Walberg seen eating, "prawns, scallops, smoked salmon, halibut, ahi, salmon and prime rib -- washed down with a Cakebread Cabernet" at Joe Fortes. Yeah, well so Jean Claude Van Damme, so hardly a trendy place.
*And speaking of Van Damme, probably the greatest thing we read in 24 Hours this week, by Darren Parkman:
Believe it or not, I found myself involved in a bit of an impromptu karaoke competition with none other than Jean-Claude Van Damme a few days back.
The action star and myself happened to turn up at the same Alberni Street Karaoke bar, and it wasn't long before we were belting out back-to-back renditions of Sinatra's "My Way" to cringing on-lookers.
Van Damme, who reluctantly sang his heart out only after being egged on by his friends, seemed to be having fun, and was a good sport about the whole thing.
He tells me he still spends three months a year living in his waterfront condo in Vancouver, and his locally shot movie Hardcore should be released shortly.
*Saturday Night Lives most funny person Andy Samberg is here filming Hot Rod the story of "An accident-prone daredevil (Samberg) plans to jump the Snake River on a moped in order to win over his stepfather." Question how much cash is Ian McShane getting to be in this Lorne Micheals production.
*It's nice to know that Mallory from Family Ties is still working and taking photos of Assistant Location Manager's bottoms. Hot stuff Mike Browne. Hot Stuff.
Exit Question: Back in March we reported that local producer and Oscar nominee William Vince was going to be doing three movies with Mel Gibson's Icon productions. Is that still on? Just asking.
It's Thursday August the 3 around 6:16AM and
24 Hours uses the cover today to report on the Sierra Defence Fund's allegations against the GVRD and B.C. government for dumping waste in Burrard Inlet. The kicker is that the B.C. government has given the GVRD until 2030 to clean up its act. (
"Sludge means Judge") But the cover picture is about
"The Keys to Solitude" - a story about internet users and survery which shock: "conclude[s] that heavy internet users - those who spend more than an hour a day online - devote less time to socializing and are more likely to stay isolated indoors." Surprise, as the subheader suggests, "Studyy proves the nerdy truth" internet users are J.D. Salinger recluses. Groundbreaking stuff.
The Sun also goes with the net users story with the front page headline: "Net Users Are Losing Touch with Families: Stats Can". And it gets more depressing as the cover story on the heat wave suggests more people are drowning. Meanwhile yesterdays, or last decade's news Ross Rebagliati is suing CTV "and the producers of the television series Whistler, claiming the drama has based a character on him without permission."
The Province always going the other way devotes it's two covers to entirely other interests. On the front is the "Adopted daughter stranded in Africa by red tape" story. On the back is what looks like a real sports cover of NASCAR, but on closer inspection it is really about Will Ferrell's new movie alladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. The article is true to sports headlines under the title, "Where there's a Will..."
It's Wednesday August the 2 around 1:33PM and
Here's a less important question, but still worth asking. Why do successful and/or celebrity chefs create menus for Airlines? Case in point as CKNW's
Joy Metcalfe breathlessly and giddily notes in her delicious Journal for this week:
"...guests sampling the culinary wares of Iron Man Chef Rob Feenie's as he introduced his extensive new menu for Harmony Airways' lucky fliers including smoked salmon and leek frittata, mushroom and goat cheese omelet, roast chicken with choucoutre and pomme puree, herb-crusted beef tenderloin, apple and Mascarpone filled crepes, sesame seed-crusted tuna tataki and my very favorite, the tiny braised short rib burger - yum!"
The Vancouver Sun (July 19th) adds, "That's because Richmond-based Harmony Airways has hired Feenie as its executive chef, charged with creating a menu for its business-class passengers.
Book a ticket and you can find yourself tucking into a Feenie-created squash and mascarpone ravioli with cream truffle sauce, or if you're in the mood for something simpler, roast chicken with choucoutre and pomme puree."
Now, I'm torn here because I like Feenie and his food, and the menu does sound great and I sure do like money a great deal, but this news, after those awful White Spot commercials he was in kind of makes him out to be just a money grubbing whore, doesn't it? TV shows are fine, books check, maybe a condiment of some sort, but these choices seem just wrong, and airline food? Isn't that like Frank Lloyd Wright spending his time designing Dog Houses or McDonalds outlets or something crappy like that instead of Falling Water? Then again if Harmony Airlines were to sponsor this blog for the next year I would probably sleep with their CEO Gary Collins. Damn you, Feenie, Damn you.
Of course, Joy also mentions that Jessica Alba was at Raincity Grill to watch the China fireworks Saturday night. Always with the Alba. Damn it.
It's Wednesday August the 2 around 12:54PM and
Here's a link to a newish
GMC Yukon TV spot featuring retro-cool looking cg robots with Visual Effects from Vancouver's own
The Embassy. The spot is directed by Embassy co-Founder Trevor Cawood for Leo Barnet Dubai of all places. Question: how many Yukons you think they selling in Dubai? I guess they have enough money to buy whatever they want really.
I don't know if it makes me want the Yukon, which could be a problem, if I was GM. But kudos to Embassy because now I want a damned robot. I think it's the robots - which makes the fx that much more neato. It's no Twiki mind you, but Yukon, whatever. (More spot credits here from Boards)
Update: One Final thought: the spot was technically for GMCArabia.com. Aparently though Syria is listed on the home page you can't actually click it, or get them there (odd use of the web mentioning them), and Lebonans site is, not surprisingly, very slow in loading.
It's Wednesday August the 2 around 12:27PM and
Thanks to TV Squad I just had the pleasure of watching the Pilot of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip on You Tube. Act fast, I'm sure it won't last long there. (PS: What did we do before You Tube I ask?). It's another Aaron Sorkin (West Wing, SportsNight) and is typical Sorkin goodness telling the tale of "a behind-the-scenes look at a fictional sketch-comedy TV show". The pilot is pretty good - a little slow to get going but the cast is solid (the bonus of no Martin Sheen and adding cutie Amanda Peet is cool, and I could care less if she can act or not.) and it looks very slick. It looks like a darker, bigger, more expensive Sports Night, except with the backdrop of a comedy show. Which are all good things. Also the end of the pilot used Queen/David Bowie's "Under Pressure" in cheese awesomeness.
Particularly interesting was this exchange in Part 4 of the pilot where Mathew Perry (Matthew Albie) and Bradley Whitford (Daniel Tripp) discuss the prospects of having to try filming in our blessed city, Vancouver:
Matthew Albie: We’ll make some budget cuts, we shoot in Vancouver.
Daniel Tripp: No, we’re not going to shoot in Vancouver. I’m drawing the line on the insanity. Vancouver doesn’t look like anything. It doesn’t even look like Vancouver. It looks like Boston, California.”
Oh my. How will that play in Vancouver?
It's Wednesday August the 2 around 11:20AM and
It's only 63 days, 4 hours and 30 something minutes until the NHL season begins on October 4th. Vancouver Canucks Oped is already on the case. First Discovering the new Vancouver Canucks Rumours blog and then discussing the potential trade of the Sedins Sister. Yep, Its still too early to talk about hockey.
I wonder if Vancouver Canucks Rumours will figure out what the latest is in the Dan Cloutier story. That would be excellent.
It's Wednesday August the 2 around 10:25AM and
There's lots of stuff to cover people, so get your double mocha and lets get going:
*Translink says that there is no need for safety barriers even after two idiots fell and hurt themselves Monday. You go Translink, (remember they have guns now too). Badasses.
*More Alba: Lainey reports that in addition to Jessica Alba getting thinner, she's also a total bitch to fans. "Someone, anyone, please feed this bitch before she starts growing horns..." Me suspects that the whole previously mentioned Alba tracking device won't help her mood.
*Overheard in Vancouver finds two "water idiots" in their natural habitat, Mac's. " “Oh my effing god, they sell Fiji water here? I’m so excited!” God help us all.
*Beacause it's wednesday. Finally Meat Cake!
*Here is a bunch of randomly found awesome things:
1. Personalized Heinz Ketchup Labels. So hot.
2. The hot new VW Rabbit ad for Playboy. Maybe we have 2nd thoughts on the Rabbit coming back. (see picture above in case you can't read, or can't figure out about this clicking links and this infernal complicated blog system)
3. This South Park congrats ad for it's Emmy nomination is an instant classic.
4. Get your Mel Gibson "Gibstein" T-Shirts while they are hot.
5. McSweeney's compares a reccent Time cover page with a movie poster. Very interesting.
6. Someone will have to explan this whole "Web 2.0" business to me one day, but here's Web 2.0 inspired logos for companies.
7. Newspapers are so hardcore. Look at them have fun with Fidel Castro's surgery. Classic: "Fidel havan-a tummyache?"
*Your Moment of West Coast Zen: A Pot Smokin' Greg Brady. Far Out...
It's Wednesday August the 2 around 10:07AM and
A website called
Jaunted - the self proclaimed Pop Culture Travel Guide -
introduced a new service called
Chasing Vancouver that hot on the heels of the
Chasing Natalie version promises to:
So for the next couple of months, right before your very web eyes, this Chasing Vancouver map will become illuminated with hot points thrice weekly--many sent in by you. You know the drill, with your help, we chase around Hollywood A-listers, grips, PAs, and anyone with any vague sense of self importance, to plot some of the must hit and must miss Vancouver locations. We do all this because we are curious to see what sort of tasty, well cooked, "Travel Guide to Vancouver" we will be left with at the end of the series.
Hopefully like Gawker's Gawker Stalker, this means that we'll get better more reliable information on the whereabouts of say, Jessica Alba, last seen on the Basterdly walking around Vancouver presumable with “I Just Had Crazy J. Alba Sex” Hair" Phew! Currently there are only 4 points on the map, so go forth and fill that baby up with juicy gossip damn it. Let the hunt begin...
It's Wednesday August the 2 around 9:51AM and
*If Mel Gibson wasn't a hardcore bible thumping bigot, would he still be an anti-Semite? I hate pancakes, and I hate how Veronica manipulates Archie but how do you express real hate for complete strangers like Mel did?
UPDATE: I "hate" Star Jones-Reynolds. She makes me vomit.
*Mel's production company was developing a mini-series on the Holocaust, but it was cancelled. My gut says they were never going to make this and it was all a front to cover his racist attitude. Sort of like the anti-Dentite Seinfeld episode where Jerry's dentist Dr. Whatley becomes a Jew so he can tell Jewish jokes.
It's Tuesday August the 1 around 6:02AM and
It's August if you can even imagine that. This calls for some things to keep our minds off the fact that Summer is half over. Take it away, links:
*Jack Nicholson, Alec Baldwin, Matt Damon, Mark Walberg and Leonardo DiCaprio saddle up for Martin Scorsese new film, The Departed. PLOT: "Two men from opposite sides of the law are undercover within the Boston State Police department and the Irish mafia, but violence and bloodshed boil when discoveries are made, and the moles are dispatched to find out their enemy's identities." Dear lord. Watch the trailer here.
*A friend tipped us to this interesting looking documentary called Shadow Company, about modern-day mercenaries. Trailer viewing time.
*Sony's new Bravia commercial filming in Glasgow is previewed at You Tube. Pretty crazy stuff.
*Your daily Mel Gibson moment. The Daily Gut gives the Gibson Guide to How to Address A Female Police Officer. PS: In your face Mel Gibson, Vancouver has a pro-Israeli rally.
*The 9 most spin-off worthy comedy characters. According to Cracked.com anyways.
*For Daniel of WineGlow: Sausage Races add new Chorizo sausage "Mr. Picante."
*Here's your chance to watch Rob Zombie on the floor with a 5'2" real live female.
*Corinna from Gus Greeper posts more damned Spirit Bear photos and/or dirty bear humping evidence just to torture us. It's luck we're in Paris and already into the red wine or we'd have lost it.
*The Vancouver Zoo - we still have one? - claims that they did not not abuse Hanzina the Hippo whose claim to fame was starring in one of those tired Telus ads. I can sleep better now. And the Hippo is now living in a new $650,000 home, in Kits. Yeah sure.
It's Tuesday August the 1 around 5:51AM and
This is pretty hot. Just noticed that there is a Vancouver Canadians blog:
Notes from the Nat: Vancouver Canadians Unofficial Blog. I kind of like the no holds barred opinion and frequent use of player nicknames, Berman style. Here's a couple of clips:
Cobb, Sulentic, Dowling - those are the three position players capable of turning around any game this season's Vancouver Canadians play, and it's no surprise that, once again, those three were the only ones showing real life out there tonight at The Nat as the Tri-City Dust Devils beat the living crap out of Inoel Deaza and Derrick Gordon to toast the good guys 8-1.
From this moment on, Howling Greg Dowling will be known as Prowling Greg Dowling. Dude's an assassin right now. Rosie Rosendo started for a second straight game, giving Jake Smith a much-needed rest - let's see if The Rake can come back tomorrow with a little steel in his garden tools.
Note: I've linked the posts at Urban Vancouver since the actual site seems to down currently. But cool. Hopefully the real site will come back.
It's Tuesday August the 1 around 5:43AM and
Is it the end of the world? Well, probably not, but Kitsilano.ca reports on the possibility of some swanky condos on Kits Beach actually not selling for the ridiculous $1,440 per square foot as fast as they used to.
Meanwhile Vancouver Housing Market Blog has more theories cooking: "Condo prices up only a tick, House prices flat, nventory bigger and sales smaller than last year for July - and this gap will be getting bigger than we have seen in recent months."
It's Tuesday August the 1 around 4:52AM and
Fan boy dream girl Jessica Alba continues to tease the city of Vancouver with her dog walking, bending over in tight pants, antics. (Via The Bastardly and many more photos over there by the way)
