Ahh sweet You Tube filler....
If J.K. Rowling was a 30 year old prepubescent Hollywood actor, this is what Harry Potter would be today...The students would be conjuring up cans of tap-ass and teacher-student naughty time relationships would flourish thanks to memory charms.
I have lived here my entire life and I can't answer the question: What should I do in Vancouver? Which means I don't know where I live well enough or I am not the load of fun I led myself to believe. In fact the most fun I have had in my life was outside this city, and country.
-The Aquarium is good times but it is actually as you would expect. There isn't anything outstanding there but that doesn't mean it's not worth the trip. The giant squid is something you need to see to believe.
-We have a spectacular array of restaurants that are diverse in fare, quality and price. Some our outstanding and unmatched, some are a nightmare unless you like Cockroaches and equally disturbing service. Check out UrbanDiner.ca for hot places to eat. I like Dairy Queen myself.
-The Vancouver Art Gallery is another destination that hasn't been shut down. Upcoming events like Fred Herzog in Spring will be worth getting in the door seeing as that it showcases Vancouver then and now.
I honestly don't know what you shouldn't miss. There really is lot's to do but I am not the person to pass that info along. Check out our blogroll for Vancouver blogs. I am sure you will find loads here:
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The only thing icier than the streets of the lower mainland right now is the glares of those riding the sky train at peak times these last few days. If you want to see what Vancouverites really look like, take a ride from Waterfront to Stadium at 5:30pm and you will wish you were only a tourist of this fine city.
Last night for example at waterfront an elderly man, though he didn't look old, just fat, yelled at a lady next to him for not giving up her seat to him. She quickly played the race card yelling back that he expects her to move only because she isn't white, she was Asian. She also brought up a great point that she wasn't sitting in an elderly/handicap seat so she shouldn't have to move. After all common sense and courtesy are only required when a sign is present. He was rude though and I felt bad for her, but race had nothing to do with it, simply enough, this winter sky train is making us all crazy. Snow brought us the dark ages folks, this really is chaos 2000.
I like Transit and I do it because I am able to and driving would make no difference in time, just sanity. You know a few years ago I had an interview with a man in black and he told me something that is so true I threw up when I choked on the awful thick and meaty truthfulness of it:
"A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it"We should get that painted on all the trains.
If we don't allow private clinics to open and serve those with the money then we should also ban BWM dealerships and Audi dealerships and Fancy restaurants ( So long Weenie ) and close Holt Renfrew’s doors to make way for a Wal-Mart. I mean if everyone can't afford it, then no one should have access to it. Who cares if you can afford it, there is someone out there that can't. So take your elitist front of the line expectations and stick them in your pampered poo hole.
Why is private healthcare so horrible? Why should Mr.X that pays $2,300 a month in Income tax plus MSP get the same care as Mr.Y the welfare deadbeat? They are both human beings and residents of this fine province, that's why. That should be enough. But if Mr.X goes to a private clinic isn't that one less bed being used in a hospital? Isn’t that him spending money here instead of over the border? That’s one less person in the long line for any number of surgeries and tests?
Before you get all huffy and pissy let me remind you that I don't have a clue why I should not be for private clinics. What does Jack Layton know that I don't and does this mean I am as smart as Gord? Enlighten me. Blind me with your light.And tell me where Vancouverites stand on this?
*Update* - I am not for or against private care. In fact I voted for this article being stupid.
I don't know the facts, all I know is that I do pay MSP and I do have $2,300 a month coming off my salary alone, not including what the wife who works at VGH pays ( wife thinks I am retarded for writing this BTW ). I have been to a doctors maybe 5 times in 15 years and twice was for a chocolate covered peanut making a nest in my sinuses. And I have always received exceptional service, I am not complaining.
I asked for feedback because I truly don't know why there would so many reasons to be against it. Don't judge me for my ignorance, judge me for my outer beauty or don't judge me at all. Do I have to remind you what column I post under....duh.
It's Tuesday kids. Euro-pop covers of 80's tunes? Yeah so what. As a good friend would say, "Dance and sing and groove." Girls Aloud is no Tiffany. And yes...I am going there.
So much good in this clip it needs to be shared. Especially when this week's secret word is 'sandbag'.
The water boil advisory has been lifted so I guess that means I can finally bathe and brush my teeth. My fingers are all stuck together and my mouth would be best described as a furry anus with teeth. So disgusting I know but I would rather be unclean than wash myself with water that is filthy and teeming with parasites. What a long week.
Two days in a row. TWO DAYS IN A ROW. This morning I was greeted upon leaving my apartment with another one. You guessed it, I saw another idiot wearing flip flops. This guy was smoking and taking his dog for a morning constitutional. It's bad enough that a little snow cripples this city - and god help us all if anything bad ever really happens (read: earthquake) here - but do we really need people from Yaletown pretending they live in L.A.? We know you are douchebags already, okay bud.
PS: I also saw some completely useless wanker riding his bmx bike.
It just hit me that he is gone. Was watching this clip and never saw him like this, not in a humourous setting. Seeing really what the potential was, and perhaps I missed him doing bits like this for ages, but now that clip made it really hit home. I haven't cried like this since my son was born or when my first ever McDonalds McGriddle hit my lips.
I think we would have been good buds and now I want to destroy Bill Maher...what stage of grieving is this?
It's November 26th people. It's sort of snowing still. It was snowing earlier. Whatever. I saw this at Nester's Market downtown earlier this morning.
A guy was wearing flip flops!
Look pal, I don't care how close you are are to Nester's. Dude, you need to wear shoes no matter how hot and cool you think you and your gnarly feet are. It's just gross.
Sigh.
Seriously tho, you were watching Heroes last night, right? And next week? Come on.
*This is just good all around. News about Wes Anderson's The Darjeerling Limited, and some possible Rome season 2 hotness. [Golden Fiddle]
*I'm not sure what to make of this. But a Burger King X-Box game seems to confirm my feelings about people who play video games. Not that the stampedes for the Playstation 3 didn't do that or anything. [Ad Rants]
*And I think I've gone a little bit country. The Wreckers. Michelle Branch you little minx.
I don't even watch this show. But this is 7 minutes of Good.
NOOOOOOOOOOOO! The world is clearly coming to an end. Who would have thought KFed wouldn't have been the total rock bottom for Britney Spears. She's hanging out with Paris Hilton now. Meanwhile Tina Fey speaks the truth of Paris.
Wash your mind out of that disturbing picture with the trailer for David Fincher's new film Zodiac, which looks totally dope.
While Vancouver lay in ruins, okay fine, I mean still had 1,000,000 people drinking bottled or boiled water while the city's mayor was carted around by horses during the Christmas parade, the ever vigil Prime Minister Stephen Harper was in Vietnam, looking completely out of touch. Unfazed, Harper told the press, "I hear the water in Langley is great. Besides those hippies didn't vote for me in the city."
"In downtown bars, the hoisting of the Grey Cup brought plenty of cheer - and a couple of sighs of relief after a less- than-impressive second half from the Lions. 'It definitely wasn't a classic,' said Mike Shuttleworth, one of the more passionate fans at the Doghaus bar and grill, located across the street from B.C. Place. 'But it was a good solid game for the Lions.'"
For the record, who actually goes to the Doghaus? Is that for real? And who goes to the Doghaus to cover the Grey Cup? Probably the same kind of guys who chuckles at Iain MacIntyre's opening line in todays Sun. "Not since Dorothy and Toto survived the Wicked Witch of the West and made it home to Kansas has anyone been as relieved as the Vancouver Canucks were Sunday to get back to where they started." The Sun also went for broke on their cover with "Lions Roar in Winnipeg".
Over in The Province, after you get through the wall to wall B.C. Lions coverage, you get this amazing headline: "No Grinch rains on Santa's parade." What I find hard to believe is that 230,000 people ACTUALLY came out to watch this creepy homage to Christmas in the middle of November. And did they really put these two headlines out today. Front: Beautiful B.C. Back: Grey Pride. Really? Whatevs, I just can't wait for this in tomorrow's edition: "Dazzling Dogs - Having nightmares your chien isn't chic enough? Susie Wall has some stylish suggestions for pooch fashion." I can hardly stand it right now.
I can't not post this clip but by doing so I understand I am more or less spilling the fact I do regular searches on youtube for "boobs". Of course honey I wasn't though, I was searching for Bob Barker to do a sort of send off for him leaving the PIR. Best Misspelling Ever Dammit!
I watched the news last night regarding the local water issues. My favorite part of course was the fact some well known coffee shop shut down because they couldn't keep up with the need for filtered water. Is this because they have been giving us tap water all along? Well there wasn't a filter outage so I would say you better believe they were.
I don't drink coffee there any more because the Coffee Cup Cafe below my office charges the same price and I get better coffee which supports a family, not a conglomerate. I just had a grilled ham and cheese sandwich there, and a free trade organic coffee and am ready to spew in the forthcoming Strongly Worded Letter.
This entry may be an abuse of power, but I don't care. I have worked for the past year with a lovely man by the name of Derrick who has been a fabulous boss. Not only is he a delightful person, but he has put up with any number of ridiculous comments and ideas on my part. So yay Derrick!
Did I mention that I have a performance review with him tomorrow and he reads The Vancouverite? Shameless.
And to add insult to injury with the smug red cups and overcrowded retail junk, you can check out Itsredagain.com or worse, Cheer Pass Central. The former site, is hosted by some creepy sweater wearing Tradition Keeper. [More via: Ad Freak]
In a related story, I had to go to The Hudson's Bay Company this week. I know what you're thinking. Apparently using your passport as a wallet isn't very cool, nor is not having a shower curtain. But honestly, is it really required to be selling Christmas stuff already? The fact that they call their Christmas area, the 5th floor, "Christmas Street" is totally ridiculous. Oh, and it's November.
There is just something about a Space Vampire on Buck Rogers that makes Erin Gray so excited. Nothing could have have been that hot since Ricky Stratton had her as his millionaire dad's secretary.
You proceed to YouTube and scour for good times captured on film. Then it looks like your site has substance but in fact it doesn't, it just has writers that work full time.
A favorite of mine, not really the greatest movie or even any good. The opening 5 minutes, or 5 minutes and 43 seconds to be exact, is amazing.
Can someone lend Belinda Stronach a copy of the Butterfly Effect starring that handsome scamp Ashton Kutcher, or explain the phenomenon? Apparently she doesn't quite understand that whole cause and effect thing or the term "Spiral out of Control" as her public life is doing now. I would suggest if that's not possible that you simply shut your pie hole, or should I say your Tie hole. People will forget you as your 15 minutes winds down to a close.
I don't agree with what she has been labeled though. I think McKay was offside and so was that douche Specter. But getting upset at Ralph Klein is making you look worse than anything. His rather funny punch was apparently not becoming of a public figure as you say. I am sure if he nailed a public figure's wife that would have landed him in your good graces instead. I think princess, that whole "Pot/Kettle Black" saying has never had a better subject than you.
I am sick and tired of protestors. I can understand there is those that need help because they can't speak up and I understand there are cases where cruelty has run rampant. What I don't understand is why some would believe that an Aquarium with a solid history would be a horrible place for an animal. I would get it if we never hear about people shooting bears, or boats killing whales or the continued rape of the ocean period.
Here's a letter to those opposed to the Aquarium expansion. Those that can't stomach the fact the majority of people want to see the plans come to fruition. Those that hate children and puppy's and the happiness of a complete stranger.
Continue reading "A Strongly Worded Letter to Those Protesting the Aquarium Expansion" »
Oh. My. God. Do I really have to wait 9 more hours to see Lost? PS: Here's a long sneak peak from tonight. I do kind of think it is ridiculous that they are having a fall season finale. Smug.
"The voters gave the Republicans a well-earned kick in the gut yesterday. . . . This is good news .. and bad news. Good news because of the message it sends to Republicans. Bad news because of the message it sends to Islamic jihadists who are dedicated to the destruction of our culture. One thing is certain. The Republicans worked very hard for this defeat."
Dry heave #2. I improvised by keeping one eye on the game while pretending to engage in girl talk. My plan was working until Taylor Pyatt scored the game winner with 45 seconds on the clock. I tried to cover my reaction by pretending I was really excited about what my friend was saying. Totally inappropriate point in the conversation for that response and now I’ve been labeled the insensitive bad listener of the group. However, this win over the Stars put an end to the Canuck’s 3 game losing streak, so I say fair trade.
Anyway, it was a great game, and even more impressive considering Salo and Mitchell are still out with injuries. The Swedish band-aid Vigneault stuck on the defensive line (Manitoba Moose call up Alexander Edler) seems to be holding, and last night he even managed to pick up a point. Hope you’ve got a place to stay in Manitoba Bourdon.
Oh and in a fun turn of events, just as things are picking up for us, they’re turning crappy for Florida. Turns out they traded us a kick ass goalie for damaged goods (Bertuzzi’s out for 8 weeks with a pre-exisiting back injury and Auld just scrapped with his teammate in a hotel lobby). I especially love that this is the second time we’ve screwed them. Did ’98’s trade of a healthy Jovo for a hella injured Bure teach them nothing? Fool you once shame on us, fool you twice…..you’re a sucker. Nicely done Nonis.
News Radio was one of the greatest shows on TV ever. Though House made me pee myself yesterday( big fat stubborn baby man reminded me of well....me ). I am disturbed Comdy Central has not been running past shows on a daily basis.
Can you imagine how amazing the world would be though if Phil Hartman was still alive and his wife had accidentally killed Andy Dick?
Ah. The midterm elections today. I'm still rooting for the Democrats per my Halloween bet. Somebody left a huge message on my phone this morning about this insignificant bit of politics, which is kind of creepy since I don't know who left it.
Idiot 1:I have a heart and you would be surprised how much I have done personally for those less fortunate. Especially those that are hot and less fortunate and wear tight shirts. But you sir when you asked me for some change and you saw me carrying 6 bags of groceries and a 3 year old trying to gouge my eye out, you pretty much proved why you are living in an alley somewhere. No no no let me put everything down to get you some change genius, here can you hold my son so he doesn't run away while I sift through this lint for a quarter?
Idiot 2: This past Tuesday I noticed there was hundreds of kids out in the neighborhood knocking on doors. At first I thought this was a serious mass home invasion by some ruthless gang so I instinctively went for my gun, all of them midgets dressed as Harry Potter or Spiderman. Then I realized it's Halloween so I threw junior in his super bunny outfit, put the gun back under my pillow and we went out looking for candy. This goes out to the lady on Heather and 18th that gave my son a Christian Comic (tract) book for Halloween. Thanks Lady for making this night special. I took junior home and we burned all his dinosaur books and threw out his Curious George DVD because the mixed signals might make his tiny head explode.
Idiot 3: Thanks for commenting on my cologne. It's Called Subway foot long BMT. Who the hell comments on how a total stranger smells? Unless that stranger is sitting on your face, you keep your mouth shut and mind your own business.
Idiot 4: Everyone that hasn't seen Borat and has something negative to say. Also anyone that has seen Borat and has something negative to say. Both of you are idiots or at the very least, slightly less fun than a Christian tract. Unless you are Jewish or salute the Kazakh Flag then it's okay, you should be pissed off.
I'm a cereal freakazoid, maybe even a connoisseur. I eat cold cereal at least twice a day, sometimes more. I grew up on hot porridge and it sucked ass because it tasted like dirt, moist dirt to be exact. I didn't get any of the good stuff until I moved out and did my own shopping.
This is what I am currently eating for breakfast these days. It's great and I bet if you try it you will love it too. You will also love hearing the sounds of yourself getting fatter as you eat!
To start:
-Always freeze your cereal bowl for at least 30 minutes. It keeps the cereal crisper and the milk colder which is perfect for when you make your milkshake directly after.
Ingredients:
- Use Reese's Puffs Cereal or another sweet one. (I use my own home made cereal called "Butter Crunches")
- 6 cups homogenized milk or cut half and half cream with 2% because anything else is just sissy milk
- 1 cup Egg Nog
- 2 tbsp chocolate chips or Oreo crumbs. Either will work
Bon Appetit!
Olympic cities always get faced with the dilemma of where to put X number of ugly homeless people. Do we hire the Pied Crack Piper to lead them into the inlet to drown. No because that's a horrific idea. Charter some buses and haul them out of town like Atlanta did? Rent a warehouse and stash them in there for 3 weeks like they did in Salt Lake?
Here are my top five cheaper ideas for how best to deal with these little gems for three weeks, all without hiding them:
1. Can you say 5,000 Street mimes? I can, it's easy, say it with me!
2. DTES For A Day Tours. Rent one of our 5,000 experienced guides to show you the safer parts of Oppenheimer and the best places in the Square to score good meth for oral sex, or vice versa.
3. Did I mention 5,000 street mimes? That would get us in Guinness maybe? Is this not the same thing as teaching a man to fish or what?
4. 5,000 IV's + 5,000 cans of charcoal grey spray paint + 5,000 cement boots = 5,000 statues surrounding the city which further equals photo's and postcards galore! I can only imagine a tourist talking to themselves about the statue that smelled like vomit. As if the rest didn't.
5. Squatters Story Time and Foot Rub Down. Huddle up with our 5,000 story tellers to hear ephemeral stories of good times gone bad and get your painful stubbly's rubbed by one of our gloved derelicts.
The amazing Don Imus gives Sen. John Kerry some good advice to ensure the Democrats really do win in 5 days and possibly in 2008. Bonus for my dear friend Miss Layton: Andrew Sullivan and Christopher Hitchens eviscerate Bush
This Burger King spot, "Eat Like a Snake" has already made my day, maybe my week. It's 7:31, and the day is awesome already. This might be the high water mark though, since The Vancouverite is moving 'headquarters' (read: flop houses) this morning. Glad I'm not the movers, it's bloody miserable out there. Poor bastards. Posting will hopefully resume this weekend (read: Monday)
You know, it's ads like this one from Wisconsin Republican Congressional Candidate Paul R. Nelson that make supporting the Democrats next Tuesday so easy. [Wonkette]
Another month has passed, and therefore it's time for another installment of The Vancouverite's Playlist. I've managed to put together a solid set of some of my favorite tracks from the past month. So grab a coffee or bourbon, settle in and enjoy!
Listen to The Vancouverite Playlist #11
1) Sleeping Lessons - The Shins
2) We Are Squirrels And This Is Nuts - The Love Machine
3) Stay Put! - The Blood Arm
4) Hang Me Up To Dry - Cold War Kids
5) Thicker Skin - Can Joann
6) Camera - De Rosa
7) So Divided - And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead
8) Carry Around - Annuals
9) Been Here Before - Jeremy Enigk
10) You've Already Gone - Jenny Hoyston and William Whitmore
11) High Flyer - Scanners
12) Conscious Life - Aereogramme
A Dutch woman who had spent probably the last months of her life preparing for her death, passed away this week. She was old so it's kind of okay, though still sad of course.
She passed away at the cemetery beside her late husband's grave, directly in front of her own, which had her name already inscribed, just no end date. She had with her the last will and testament and what appears to be a program for her own service including the music she wanted played, which was oddly enough "I'll be missing you" by Diddy.
Who the hell gets that ready to die? I can't help but think that when this lady was alive, she would have made Martha Stewart look like a dirty color blind hobo with no opposable thumbs. I'll be sending this to my mom as well with an extra big ;-) winky wink all at the same time proving I really have no soul.
More and more I want to move to Dutchland if I could only find it on a map. When Dutch soldiers go to fight in Iraq they are accompanied by Dutch prostitutes. That shit is hot man!
It's Lost Wednesday. That's pretty much all you need to know. But here are more TV options from Pop Sugar.
*Is there anyway that The Province could be more like The New York Post? Their cover today is amazing.
*Oh thank the maker...Bob Saget's Farce of the Penguins.
*This is still pretty funny, although so yesterday. And Gawker adds some new editors.
*Take this George W. Bush. Vote Democratic.
*Dominos "Nana" ad.
*This is totally going to happen to a friend of mine who claims to be installing a stripper pole in his new "jack pad".
*Not really sure what to say about this, but it probably is better than Michael Bay's Transformers movie.
*Studio 60 not in imminent danger, Fox News wrong.
*Finally the Kate Moss and Pete Doherty story, Cocaine Cowboys. Well, not really.
The remarkable thing about living here, in Canada, is that because we've already done Thanksgiving and Halloween, we move directly to Christmas. I've already noticed restaurants advertising their Christmas party options. The question is: when will you hear the first Christmas music, or Muzac this year? And....Go. Yes. This was a shameful excuse for posting this David LaChapelle commerical. Deal with it.
That Diet Coke and Mentos phenomenon is sure something else huh? The only down side is that millions of starving people, and actresses, would have loved to get their hands on all that diet pop and candy. Nothing wipes out the smell of hunger like a minty fresh chew.
This is the new Eepy Bird experiment, the sequel to the first one which started it all. Pretty sweet.
This is the byproduct of making chemical reactions look awesome. Cleverly titled "diet coke mentos with my daughter". What's clever is the little girls face being blown right off in front of her idiot father. Well that doesn't happen but I am sure we will get to see something like it when Coke or EepyBird gets taken to court.
When Lukey Junior grows up he will be home schooled without TV or a Computer. If he is anything like his idiot father and has the chance, I am sure he will be all over making these cute and entertaining fun bombs. Hopefully the new cool includes uranium and glass jars of turpentine so while the world loses a few thousand idiots, my little idiot will be safe at home with all his thirteen fingers and toes, a byproduct of me experimenting with drugs as a young teen.
The source for your daily double shot of hyper caffeinated snark-ridden commentary, news, events, and trashy gossip about Vancouver.
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