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It's Tuesday January the 30 around 6:07AM and

Vancouver Papers:

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24 Hours looks at the Celebration of Light which faces a $500,000 shortfall, and has until the end of February to find that cash or the yearly fireworks display is over. Meanwhile the front cover sports David Suzuki who is off on a cross country tour for the environment - his campaign hits Vancouver February 27th.

The Province also goes with the potential end of the fireworks show. Of course, "HSBC Bank Canada, the title sponsor, is lined up again this year. However, you just knew something like this was behind it: Telus will not renew its three-year, $300,000 sponsorship."

Nice to see the Vancouver Sun rip themselves off the Pickton trial for a few minutes to give us this headline this morning: "B.C. faces future flood of 'climate refugees': RCMP". Of course if the environmentalists at the RCMP are predicting future climate disasters, thats front page news.

It's Monday January the 29 around 8:00AM and

The Vancouverite Playlist: Sixpack 04

Sixpack 04

One month in, and our fourth installment of The Vancouverite Sixpack. This week we have a great old/new song from the upcoming Arcade Fire album, as well as some new stuff from Andrew Bird and The Klaxons.


1) Nothin' No - David Vandervelde
2) Ali In The Jungle - The Hours
3) Golden Skans - The Klaxons
4) Heretics - Andrew Bird
5) Arcade Fire - No Cars Go
6) Collarbone - Fujiya & Miyagi

Download Artwork

Right click each track and select "Save Target As", or "Download Linked File".

*Note that each Sixpack will only be available for one week, so make sure you download right away!

It's Monday January the 29 around 7:35AM and

Buzz Dump: Nothing But Flowers

Video Treats I: What if Ferris Bueller really was sick? What if The Office was a crime thriller? What is going on with Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip? This recent McDonald's ad with Ben Seaver is downright creepy. And speaking of creepy, I was just getting to like that Cheerleader from Heroes. Hmmmnn.

*Oh. Crap. In last week's soul sucking coma that was work, I missed the fact that Ernest Borgnine turned 90-years young.

*Wanting a good weekly recap of 24? Try James Lileks. It's full of jems.

*Fashion: Double smug jeans. Chris Klein works on his " Anonymous Starlet-to-Katie Holmes Transformation Process (Patent Pending)". I enjoy the word ragamuffin. Why did it have to apply to one of the coolest chicks I've ever met, Jena Malone. Ouch.

*Finally someone says something about those useless Ketel One ads. Copyranter rules.

Video Treats II: Hippy Death Metal. Speaking of hippies, what's the deal with Spock on Drugs? Smuggest trailer ever. Brett Ratner's Rush Hour 3. Gulp. This ad for the McDLT is so awesome! This Old Spice spot is full of awesome and "basketball, recon, and frenching". The Swedes are crazy, non? This self-cleaning toilet ad is proof, yes?

*Monday cries out for a crazy Danish band. Especially named Mew.

*Who knew. The Police are reportedly rehearsing here in Vancouver.

*Criterion loveliness. Sanjuro and Yojimbo. Um how do you say yum in Japanese?

*Good enough to be in the New Yorker. Michael Yon's latest.

It's Monday January the 29 around 7:25AM and

Movie Shorts: Smokin' Aces, Iwo Jima, Road House, Gunga Din & More

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In Theatres.

Smokin' Aces. The buzz on this was kind of "Tarantino knockoff". But the dialogue isn’t always there and the violence is, well, beyond senseless. Girls with 50 caliber guns? In Vegas? Come on. Whatever, Alicia Keyes is total hotness. Ben Affleck has a handlebar mustache (in fact there were plenty of cool mustaches in this. Well-played Mathew Fox.) Jason Bateman is worth the price of admission alone, while no one could possibly believe for a second that smarmy Ryan Reynolds could be in the FBI, ever. Bonus points for a taste of Ennio Morricone’s “The Story Of A Soldier” from The Good, The Bad & The Ugly and the end titles, which were cool. I had high hopes for this, after reading the director's blog. But, no. C.

Letters from Iwo Jima. All you need to know is that this is a far superior film to Flags of our Fathers. The colors – muted earth tones – turn alive during the battle scenes, and it looks great. When you walk out of the film and think about the soldiers from Imperial Japan being just like our side, you know Eastwood did his job as a filmmaker. The only slip up would be the introduction of the film with the modern bookends (always a questionable call) and a bit of subtle bending of some details of history. But a stunning meditation on war and those who fight it. And the music is just about perfect. How does Blondie make a foreign film? That rules. A-.

Continue reading "Movie Shorts: Smokin' Aces, Iwo Jima, Road House, Gunga Din & More" »

It's Monday January the 29 around 7:20AM and

The Vancouverite Night Out: Sip

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Good lord, I'm so very glad I went to Sip Resto Lounge (1117 Granville) before going to their website (Reservations at Open Table). Otherwise I wouldn't have gone. And believe me if you stay too long the place becomes a dance club by the sounds of it. That said I shared some great starters, wine, and dessert there on the eve before Dine Out Vancouver ruined the restaurant scene for a couple of weeks. Although it seemed like some of the Dine Out population was already out. Do these people ever go out for dinner? Dine Out Vancouver is pure evil hell. That was our first topic of conversation. Next was the Serbian and Croation fans fighting at the tennis match in Australia. But that is another story, what about the damned food already:

I'm not sure if they do in fact have "The Best Crab Cakes Ever" (bold statement) like they claim to on the menu, but they were tasty - and best of all kind of as good as one of those one-bite brownie deals. Pop 'em in your mouth, yum. Then again when you have Belgium Beer Battered fries served with a bunch of shooters full of sauce you're pretty well setup. Fries and sauces are good - and it was refreshing they they weren't yam fries for a change. Not that I have anything against yam fries. But enough is enough. The 7 Cheesy Dip (how do you go, no it needs more cheese when you have say 5 or 6 cheeses in a dip?) was great and put some of that with the fries. Just do it. It says there is 18-year old Glenfiddich in there somewhere. Sure. The calamari wasn't anything special, but maybe it was because the cheese perogies had lots of chorizo bits with it. Hard to compete. Bonus meats, always a good call.

Oh ya, and the Mocha Bailey's Creme Brulee was completely ridiculous. As is my nature I am writing them a letter to see if they would come make over to my place and turn my bathtub into the biggest creme brulee ever. Yes, it was that delightful. And don't forget, it is open until 2am, which is nice if you want a late night crab cake.

It's Monday January the 29 around 7:15AM and

What do you mean Smart?

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In the endless list of new condo living developments in Vancouver there is finally Smart: Gastown Living. The ads ask "what makes smart so smart?" Well, that a stupid question! The reality is, you get: "sustainable, efficient, forward-thinking design" and "european-style linear kitchens." Only on the website do you get this bit of affirmation: "Smart is a smart place to call home AND a smart investment." That is smart!

This dwelling is so ridiculously smart, that in one of the interior shots there is a Yellow Tail bottle of wine, 'cause nothing screams smart like Yellow Tail...and seriously, if this video doesn't cue you to smarten up and buy, you're completely dumb, this is an area "in transition" people! Another smart feature.

It's Monday January the 22 around 2:23PM and

Mondays are the new Thursdays

I think it's pretty apparent that there are some big fans of Heroes and 24 over here at The Vancouverite. It's probably because these are two of the best shows currently on television, which makes it no suprise that Monday has now surpassed Thursday at the greatest night of TV during the week. Remember when Survivor was fresh and new? Or Must-See-TV? I thought not - those days are so far behind us that we should all bow down to the gods Bauer and Hiro. They're my two picks for the icons of the new Monday regime. And if you're techno-deficient like me and don't even own a VCR, Global is being a good friend and staggering the two shows so that even us 1960s throwbacks can experience all the love.

I would like to thank Fox, NBC and the Asper family for making this all possible.

It's Monday January the 22 around 8:00AM and

The Vancouverite Playlist: Sixpack 03

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So here we are, still going strong into week three, and I've got six more tracks coming at you, including the infectious "I Am John" by Loney, Dear, and the epic "The Birth And Death Of The Day" from the upcoming Explosions In The Sky album.


1) Living A Lie - Aqueduct
2) You Can Still Run - The One AM Radio
3) I Am John - Loney, Dear
4) Sanctify - Calla
5) Going Through Changes - Army Of Me
6) The Birth And Death Of The Day - Explosions In The Sky

Download Artwork

Right click each track and select "Save Target As", or "Download Linked File".

*Note that each Sixpack will only be available for one week, so make sure you download right away!

It's Monday January the 22 around 7:27AM and

Buzz Dump: Ali Larter, Heroes, 24, Lost, Oh My!

*Finally the time has come for a new episode of Heroes. The PVR will now be doing even more good things for me as I can manage the Heroes/24 'Monday of Awesome' that starts today. I'd put Studio 60 in there, but I watched last night and seems to have become a romantic comedy now. Not only is there a great promo for tonight's Heroes, but you can also catch Ali Larter in the trailer for Homo Erectus.

*Trailer Park: Sunshine looks pretty rock n' roll. And Blades of Glory with Will Ferrell might be worth seeing.

*Then you can get your fill of 24, with this interactive Viral video for the show. Which leads you to CTU Agent and a Chinese Embassy website. Watch the video to CTU-erize them.

*And new Lost promos are starting to run now too. Plus a sneak peak of the next episode "We Need A Boat" 2/7.

*Or you could mix Lost, House, and 24 for the next great drama...

*This Alberto VO5 ad is silly. All that crazy cultural revolution theme makes us yearn for some crazy Soviet buildings! Huzzah!

*And since I watched it this weekend, a song from the Buffy Musical episode, "I'll Never Tell". And musical episodes are quite amazing. I'd pay to see a 30 Rock or Office one.

*For some reason I missed the Peanuts reunion on Family Guy. Amazing. Apparently Snoopy was on junk.

*I knew I wasn't the only Mitsou fan out there. I just knew it.

*Music Monday continues: Start off with a video from Simple Minds, "Don't You Forget About Me." Yes, I watched The Breakfast Club this weekend. Back off. Then Papercuts "John Brown". And lastly, Peter Bjorn and John, "Young Folks." Swede!

*I'm sure you've seen this, but if not, you must. No More Kings "Sweep the Leg". Best Week Ever writes, "this is nothing less than the Citizen Kane of online comedy videos. It has everything you could ever want from a few minutes of semi-ironic pop culture nostalgia - aging Cobra Kai hooligans, Ralph Macchio, a post-apocalyptic John Creese, and Mr. Belding."

*Ah nice to see Coca-Cola getting back to the basics of advertising.

*Saturday Night Live had a pretty amazing spoof of MacGyver this weekend - you can see all three bits of "MacGruber" on NBC's site. So amazing: "Jo Jo, That Dog Turd!" "Pubes. I need a lot of them and I need them now." And for good measure, MacGyver on Family Guy.

*Did you know that meat is the most shoplifted item in America? No. I did not.

*Holy cow. And I thought the Ad business had a lot of changes. Vancouver chefs change kitchens as often as Beyonce shows her armpits. [Urban Diner]

*Oh, great...Vegetarians are the new Prius. In that case, this totally better be true, or I'm not even considering it, Al Gore.

It's Monday January the 22 around 7:22AM and

Movie Shorts: Good German, Babel, Idiocracy, Gore

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Babel. I'm not sure this movie ever really lives up the hype of its Golden Globe, but it is watchable, at some points engrossingly so, even at 142 minutes, you'd never know it. But, at some points you do wonder "why are these characters doing such really stupid things?" So inspite of itself, it succeeds in making you want to watch. Well, as much as you could bare watching last year's version, Crash. B-


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The Good German. You'd think Clooney + Soderberg + black and white loveliness would equal an instant classic. If you sat through this movie you would know why that isn't so. It is sad that the poster was better than the movie, even though it was full of spectacular black and white beauty shots. C-

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Idiocracy. Any movie that promises so many groin kicks, truck and tractor pulls and a language that has devolved into an odd mix of, "hillbilly, Valley Girl, inner-city slang, and various grunts," directed by Mike Judge (Office Space) and featuring Maya Rudolf as a prostitute just has to be enjoyed. You can now officially thank Fox for both cancelling Arrested Development and keeping this cult classic from us. Bastards. B


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An Inconvenient Truth. Finally saw this. Will Al Gore's power point presentation get an Oscar nomination this week? I guess the film works if Harper is faking Green, and Bush is set to admit that global warming exists Tuesday. But seriously, kudos for the marketing brains who are rebranding global warming into the more impressive but nebulous climate change. Nevermind that, Gore in '08? Bwhahahaha. Bonus: Sarah Silverman one ups this on Kimmel with "Global comforatabling" You can watch the other side of the story from the CEI. C+

It's Monday January the 22 around 7:22AM and

Mustache News: Magnum P.I. Movie Buzz

I recently finished watching Magnum P.I. Season 1. The original opening and theme song (it changes after some episodes) was killer. Almost as killer as Magnum on The Family Guy. And almost as sweet as hearing the buzz that Mathew McConaughey might be throwing down with the 'stache' in the movie version. And almost as awesome as further news that Steve Zahn and William H. Macy will be playing Rick and Higgins. Makes you want to rush out and order a T-shirt like this, don't it? This would be so much better than the previous rumors which pegged Ben Affleck as Magnum, which would be totally insane. "All right, all right, all right."

In other completely non-Vancouver and Hawaiian news, the USS Arizona is wasting away.

It's Monday January the 22 around 7:19AM and

Pimms Cups and The Granville Room

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My legendary friend Jesse introduced some of us to Pimms recently. They say nothing beats a glass of Pimms on a summer day, but in January? Ridiculous? Of course no more ridiculous than either of the following events.

First, was hitching a ride with Jesse in his fairly smug Rover of somesort. I don't say that to mock him, or to sound particularly smug either, but he found a parking spot on Granville in like 5 seconds and so what if he drove that thing all up and over the curb. The homeless kids on the street begged for money in the following way, "You have to give us something for having to watch that." And we did.

That was only the start. We had a fairly strict "two Canuck jersey" rule going into Doolins Irish Pub. There were at least three within the first 5 seconds. Ouch. And when Jesse kept asking our waitress Stephanie for both a Pimms and a cheese plate (it's Doolins) every time she came by, you can imagine, hilarity ensued. Doolins makes you question the whole concept of the Irish Pub and, well, Irishness in general. Thank goodness there is yet another one coming to Vancouver one block over at Smithe and Granville in the old Skybar location called Ceilis. It's not open yet and it looks awful. I no longer question the assertion that there is such a things as "Irish Pub in a Box."

So over to the Granville Room (seriously, did they just play Pixies music when I went to the website? That's just awesome) we went. A cheese plate was had and Jesse introduced us to the infamous Pimms Cup. Or a version of it anyway - served with Ginger Ale, a cucumber slice and an apple slice. Wierd. Smug. Wackily Delicious. (Anyone for a Pimms?) I just can't believe I used to mock the bottle of Pimms behind the bar. The lesson: cheese plate + Pimms = instant awesomeness.

It's Monday January the 22 around 7:16AM and

Vancouver Starbucks Thinks You're a Dogwalking Loser

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Saw a fairly craptacular Starbucks print ad in the Globe and Mail. It's probably not new, but it certainly is Vancouver. Gastown actually, which is fine but did they really write this copy:

8:45 a.m. Mark and Scooter.

Searching out the fifth (and best) tree for Scooter to pass his hellow to the next pooch to come along. Mark's reward for this little adventure? A double Americano with room. And serious bonus-points for walking his girlfriend's dog.

Life happens over coffee.

Jesus. I don't even know where to start. But who exactly are they trying to get pumped for Starbucks with this ad? He's walking a ratty little dog with a jacket on while Mark's girlfriend is probably sleeping in. Or is that just his cover story? Double Venti Lameness. Okay, that was bad. I regret writing it. So The way I see it #322: Be a man Mark, you pussy.

It's Monday January the 22 around 7:15AM and

Vancouver Papers: Pickton, Pickton, Pickton

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The Vancouver Sun starts off the first day of the Robert Pickton murder trial with tales of polls (52 percent of people are interested in media coverage of this) as we embark on a year of trial action. It's those stories, an editorial, a column, a photo gallery (online), timeline, and probably 6 or more stories. In case you couldn't figure out that this is a big news story, the Sun has you covered. Meanwhile Vancouver is 13th least affordable city in world and now we are getting the '08 Canadian Figure Skating championships.

Not surprisingly, The Province also starts the week off with wall to wall Pickton coverage. 24 Hours follows suit with a short cast of characters piece.

It's Friday January the 19 around 9:14AM and

I Heart You, Friday

Longest. Week. Ever. Still going. making me post creepy cat ads from the UK.

It's Thursday January the 18 around 9:00AM and

Welcome to My Day...Thank you Mitsou

You know when it is 9:01, and you were planning on not posting today, again. I know I'm a deadbeat, but somehow you get to watching a Mitsou "Bye Bye Mon Cowboy" video already. Kind of total amazingness. That is all.

It's Tuesday January the 16 around 9:57PM and

Buzz Dump: Be Captain of your own smarmy!

* Best Week Ever calls it: "It’s Little Superstar meets Tom Cruise… and it’s awesome." This one has to be dedicated to Marslees and Anthony. Many of you will enjoy. Strange?

*24 remainders. The Bauer. Bauer Count. Jack Bauer doll.

*Still heart Brigitte's TV Squad Daily. Adorable.

*Nice for us that CBS turning to the power of You Tube to encourage the full power of sock puppets and peace for the new 15 seconds of fame. Thanks You Tube!

*For some strange reason The Psychedelic Furs came up this weekend. Can't remember why. Might have been just before the 2:30 AM Dance Party I witnessed to the Lionel Richie Saturday Night. So why not watch Pretty in Pink. And while we are at 1980's videos, are you psyched for some General Public "Tenderness." So completely 80's, non? These could be the best three links of the week people.

*Oh my gawd. This 1985 ABC 'You'll Love it" promo is totally amazing.

*Favorite Golden Globe hook up: Piven and America's Next Top Model Melrose. "Piven’s a tiny little guy and the captain of the his own smarmy." Gawker says, "Caridee may have won the competition, but Melrose won the real prize. If that's a prize. Who wants to be the one to tell her that he's not really an agent?"

It's Tuesday January the 16 around 9:14PM and

Totally Delayed Golden Globes Top 5

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Last night’s Golden Globes had a few shockers (Ugly Betty’s two big wins) but most of the night’s winners and losers were fairly predictable . This should have been posted this morning, but our fearless editor was, er, probably out to lunch or something like that. Gawd.

There were a few fun surprises (Tom Hanks and Sacha Baron Cohen mentioning balls and testicles in their respective speeches), too many boring speeches (Meryll, it’s your sixth Golden Globe, there is no one left to thank) and the always entertaining fashion disasters. Here’s my vote for the top 5 best and worst moments/outfits of the night:

Worst

Worst impersonation of a Golden Globe: Beyonce. Her last desperate attempt to upstage Jennifer Hudson was just sad. Very very sad.

Worst homage to her homeland: Penelope Cruz. You’re Spanish, not a Flamenco Dancer. I’m pretty sure they’re not the same thing.

Worst ‘please look at me, my career is in the crapper’ dress: Jennifer Love Hewitt. When you’re at an awards show with Beyonce and you are the tackiest thing there, it’s time to fire your stylist. Or in this case, consider one.

Continue reading "Totally Delayed Golden Globes Top 5" »

It's Tuesday January the 16 around 7:31AM and

Laser Cats?

Still don't like cats. But if they shoot lasers out of their mouths...hmmm?

It's Monday January the 15 around 10:42PM and

24: Day 6, 9:00 AM - 10:00 AM. Holy Cow.

4 hours into 24 Season 6. It's amazing. Nothing pisses Jack Bauer off more than suitcase nuclear weapons. Not good. And to top it off he lost the Golden Globe to Hugh Laurie. Oh my.

It's Monday January the 15 around 1:55PM and

Comments Broken - 67% chance it was Lukes Fault

Me thinks the ability to comment on our posts is defunct. Well actually you can comment, but it isn't coming through. So until it's fixed you can send tips, news, ideas, smut & nudie pics to the following address:
vancouverite@thevancouverite.com

Just let us know you are alive.

It's Monday January the 15 around 7:30AM and

The Vancouverite Playlist: Sixpack 02

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Well, I have to say I'm pretty proud of myself, and have actaully made two consecutive weekly posts. (Even Jackson didn't think it would happen). But true to my word I'm bringing you another six pack with more music for you to jam to this week. And, although I know that absolutely no one posts any comments, We'd love your input and suggestions for new music we might not know of yet.

So here's this weeks six pack... enjoy!


1) Matresses Underwater - The Colour Revolt
2) Broken By - Giardini Di Miro
3) Sixty Lives - Aberdeen City
4) Chemicals Collide - Cloud Cult
5) The Pelican - Menomena
6) Welcome Home, Sun - Radical Face

Download Artwork

Right click each track and select "Save Target As", or "Download Linked File".

*Note that each Sixpack will only be available for one week, so make sure you download right away!

It's Friday January the 12 around 2:47PM and

Two Days Until Awesome

Set your PVRs people! Jack's back, and all signs point to amazing for the sixth day of 24. I've heard rumours that the first four hours are incredible, but I guess we'll all know for sure in a little more than 48 hours... Seriously, do not miss this show; the four hour, two night premiere begins Sunday at 8 pm on Fox.

It's Friday January the 12 around 6:35AM and

Lindsay Lohan vs. The Tracy Jordan Meat Machine

*OMG. Did you see 30 Rock tonight? Not only was there the above, meat is the new bread insanity, but Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin) on the question, Do you lik Phil Collins? "I've got two ears and a heart don't I?"

"I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation as to why Lindsay Lohan was running down a Miami street in her bikini last week, but I've given up trying to understand why she does the things she does. In her mind there was probably a shark chasing her down in a go-kart." [The Superficial]

*How do advertisers sleep at night? "Advertisers To Hit You Where It Hurts The Least: The Airport Security Line."

*I'll admit it. If Scarlett Johansson was working for me as a nanny I might rethink my no baby policy. PS: If it is true about her shacking up with JT, it begs one question - well one right after the initial, "What a jerk" question - is Justin Timberlake the luckiest bastard ever?

*Marketing campaigns for cities are so adorable. Paris launches: C'est so Paris.

*Digital recreation of Orville Redenbacher + Crispen Porter + David Fincher = crazy ad. Available during Monday's Golden Globes.

*PS: I hate you Derek Jeter.

It's Wednesday January the 10 around 10:25PM and

Tonight 'I Still Remember' It's crazy out there

*Bloc Party's new video, “I Still Remember.” Not sure I need to say much more than that. (via: Best Week Ever)

*Side hug to punch in face vs. Elmo fire.

*"Aah, hahahahahahahaha! OH MY GOD! (snicker. spittle.) Darfur? BWHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh god, my sides. 50 dead in Baghdad car bombing....Haaaaahahahahahhaha!!! Honey, check out this funny corpse!" [Copyranter]

*How do advertisers sleep at night? "New Annoying TiVo Ads" and "ThisIsDumb: "Rome" Promotional Wine is From California"

*I just like the idea that a band described as, "British new-rave, eletro-pop, disco" exists. New Young Pony Club. [My Old Kentucky Blog]

*The internets are good. George W. Bush should have released the 'iRaq' tonight. [Foreign Policy]

It's Wednesday January the 10 around 1:49PM and

Top Cereals of 2006

Cereal is not a laughing matter. It is serious business. So for those that don't get much variation, or are stuck eating stillborn chickens for breakfast, here is a handy countdown of the top cereals on the market last year.

Using the following scoring system:
10/10 Taste
5/5 Toys and included goodness/contests
5/5 Complete Lack of Nutritional Value
5/5 Ability to eat without Milk
5/5 Bowls per box
1/1 Price


10. Kellogg's Special K Red Berries Total Score 13/31
Highlights - Dehydrated fruit just like the astronauts eat
Downside - Box is too small, maybe 3 bowls full. Too much nutritional value here. It even smells healthy.

9. Cocoa Krispies Total Score 17/31
Highlights - Chocolate. Super Toys. 7 bowls per box. Fuckin super rice krispies squares.
Downside - Not hardcore enough, too childish.

8. Kellogg's Special K Vanilla Almond Total Score 18/31
Highlights - Nuts Almonds, stays super crispy. Makes great squares. Bigger box than it's fairy Red Berries partner.
Downside - Too much nutritional value. Kind of a girly cereal and box.

7. Honey Bunches of Oats with Almonds Total Score 19/31
Highlights - The sheer awesomeness of the taste destroys the healthiness of it.
Downside - Oatmeal is cold cereal's bitter rival. So you are a fence sitter by eating this.

6. Frosted Flakes Total Score 22/31
Highlights - Got on this list because of sweet toys and even sweeter loads of sugar.
Downside - My teeth hurt after a couple bowls.
(note* - a low sugar version was produced but it tastes like plastic)

5. Golden Grahams Total Score 23/31
Highlights - So sweet. Like candy for breakfast wasn't the greatest thing ever.
Downside - You have to eat it in approx 63 seconds after coming into contact with milk or it goes soggy.

4. Post Oreo O's ( found stateside only unfortunately ) Total Score 25/31
Highlights - The creator of this cereal had some serious balls.
Downside - Can't find it in Canada. But you could just crush Oreo cookies and put in milk.

3. Kellogg's Smorz Total Score 27/31
Highlights - Makes good milkshakes - can be eaten anytime, anywhere.
Downside - Gets soggy way to fast - also hard to find in most stores.

2. Nesquik Total Score 30/31
Highlights - Cereal in chocolate milk seriously pwns cereal in regular milk
Downside - Eating without milk is totally pointless

1. Reese's Puffs Total Score 1,000,000/31 ( ridiculous yes, but then you have never tried them )
Highlights - This is what awesomeness tastes like as solid matter sprinkled with sheer delight. A viable cure for cancer and depression.
Downside - You won't find a bowl big enough

It's Wednesday January the 10 around 7:11AM and

Vote For Rory Fails to Create All Star

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It’s official. Rory Fitzpatrick will not be suiting up for the NHL All Star game. THANK GOD.

Seriously, I’ve just started to recover some Canucks pride. If Fitzpatrick had hit the ice on the 24th, well that really would have just shit all over this miracle on ice last 7 games.

For all you non-hockey fans out there, Rory Fitzpatrick is your basic 2nd rate Canucks defenseman. Great guy by all accounts, but the man has 1 point to his name this season. A total unknown until some Rochester, N.Y. douche bag started a Vote for Rory‚ campaign to send Fitzpatrick to the All Star game (exposing flaws in the new voting system).

Continue reading "Vote For Rory Fails to Create All Star" »

It's Tuesday January the 9 around 10:25PM and

Oh Yeah, And Apple Made a Phone

How much more do I loathe the day job's blackberry now? Blah! Thanks Steve Jobs, jerk. The new iPhone.

It's Tuesday January the 9 around 9:53PM and

Gwen's Sweet Escape

Just Jared calls this one. On Gwen Stefani's “Sweet Escape” video: "The hair? Ridiculous. The excessive amount of Gwen’s “G” emblems everywhere? Ridiculous. The black and white skintight prison jumpsuits? Ridiculous. The “Rapunzel, Rapunzel, Let Down Your Hair” storyline? RIDICULOUS."

It's Tuesday January the 9 around 9:38PM and

Bruce Campbell Rules.

"Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun." A marketing dude (notice I didn't say 'marketing dbag' - see I'm not a total jerk...) named Sean sent this Old Spice commercial starring Bruce Campbell in. This one's for you guy. By the way, Sean also informed me of his new years plan of dressing up 2-3 times a day. I'm just saying...This is perfect if only to then reference Army of Darkness quotes. "My name is Ash and I am a slave. As far as I can tell, the year is 1300 A.D and I'm being dragged to my death. It wasn't always like this, I had a normal life, once. "

It's Tuesday January the 9 around 6:13AM and

Vancouver Papers: Gone Green?

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24 Hours fronts the visit to Stanley Park by new environment minister John Baird. But this was the best part: "A lone protester, 66-year-old Ann Grant, made her way to the conference - park staff blocked the roads leading into Prospect Point so only media could enter - to plead with the government to respect the Kyoto Accord.

'They're not doing enough,' said Grant, sporting a horned Stephen Harper mask and a pitchfork with Planet Earth impaled on its tip. 'More extreme weather is likely to be caused by global warning if we keep ignoring it. It's already happening.'"

The Sun has an interesting story on how the campaighn heads of the three federal parties are from BC. "One theory is that the rise of B.C. talent to the top jobs proves that the province, long considered the scene of the country's wackiest politics, has become one of the most tightly contested political arenas in Canada. That has made it one of the best training grounds in the country for parties to pick up political talent."

And more from Baird, "It's another reason why we have to act on climate change."

It's Monday January the 8 around 7:32AM and

Fast and Furious: CBC's Dragon Boys Part 1

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I watched the first part of CBC's Dragon Boys last night. Rather than a review you can view some real time thoughts. This would have worked equally well this morning for the great episode of Dawson's Creek I watched. Anyway here you go:

8:00. Opening credits – Chinese characters on red, lame logo, lame typography

Gratuitus slow -os, hooray!

The warning…”Dragon Boys is a disturbing, realistic portrayal of gang activity on Canada’s west coast. It contains scenes with extreme violence, frequent course language and sexual activity, intended for a mature viewing audience…”

Lets go "hand held"…wait, lets go hand held during really lame pseudo fight. "So cool".

27 minutes in, and I’m totally bored.

Flagrant helicopter (or plane) shots of Richmond. Factoid: Is Richmond is the most depressing suburb in the lower mainland, from the air at least?

8:39. Karaoke! Sweet.

8:52. Use of the term ‘egg roll’ followed by a really super Rosie O’Donnell “Ding Dong Chow” moment by one of the films many stupid white hoods (or is it foot soldiers, I can never get that distinction right) yo.

9:08. Screw ball cop comedy now?

9:18. Country music. This is multicultural. Advantage Alberta veiwers.

9:19. Quote: “I guess its just one of those Chinese things. Like eating your cat.” They had me with the cat hating.

9:48. Still watching…sort of. Some sort of samurai warrior wisecrack.

9:59. Wow. Montage.
The hours approaching, just give it your best
You've got to reach your prime.
That’s when you need to put yourself to the test,
And show us a passage of time,
We're gonna need a montage (montage)
Oh it takes a montage (montage)

Cliff hanger. Still no car chase? After 2-hours. Hmmm.

It's Monday January the 8 around 7:27AM and

Dirty Dancing Monday

Neil Patrick Harris is, well, there is no way to put this other than highly evolved.

It's Monday January the 8 around 7:25AM and

Vancouver Papers: ThunderDome

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24 Hours is a little bit too excited about the BC Place dome debacle of '07. I always enjoy when news orgs make themselves central to the news story, "24 hours was first to report in a Friday podcast that ice and snow wasn't cleared from the roof before a panel ripped. A source said ice and snow "avalanched" late in the noon hour Friday, causing a tear in the air-supported fabric roof above Level 4's Section 54. The roof was rapidly deflated to minimize damage." If it was all a reason to revisit the really bad ideas for naming the dome, 24 Hours wins: "Cream Puff Stadium, Excitement Dome, Our Father's House, Pac Man Stadium, Pigeon Place, Rain Bowl, Turtle Dome, Unknown Dome, Vanburger, Whoopee Stadium."

The Sun reports on the BC Place roof as well, but at least they give us hope, "Crosley said the roof will be inflated to its regular dome shape when all the tears are repaired." Phew! If it didn't get back to regular dome shape, this would be a scandal. Meahwhile Iain MacIntyre tries to reconcile the Canucks 7-game win streak with future dissapointments, "For their last 191 minutes, the Canucks have looked vulnerable, no longer impervious to bad play as they had seemed when they began this winning streak on Boxing Day. Yet, they found ways the last three games to overcome their mistakes and win in extra time."

The Province bucks the trend giving the big frontpage story to a Beauty queen trying to save a life. This is clearly done to cover up the Ed Willes tongue kiss to Robert Luongo. "After 43 games Roberto Luongo has established himself as the point through which the Vancouver Canucks' fortunes will flow. This season. Next season. For as long as he's wearing the team's colours. He's the reason the Canucks are respectable now and he's the reason there's hope for the future."

Thankfully there are a couple of remainders from the Sunday edition. like news Joy of joys, word on the new Naomi Klein book "Blank is Beautiful: The Rise of Disaster Capitalism", "The author of No Logo is back with another book that looks at the perils of capitalism and globalization. Klein argues the remaking of the world into the global marketplace is built upon violence and "shock therapy" of various sorts: physical, social and economic. Blank promises to be the thing publicists dream of: controversial." There's also a really amazing What's in, what's out for 2007 list. I say this is a bit of a wash to be honest, "In: Cardigans for men. Out: Blazers over a hoodie. Trend-conscious men are abandoning the trusty blazer-over-a-hoodie look in favour of geek-chic cardigans. Today's cardigans are less Mr. Rogers and more an offbeat style statement, showing up in collections from Yves St. Laurent to Paul Smith."

It's Monday January the 8 around 7:00AM and

The Vancouverite Playlist: Sixpack 01

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So I am going to try something new for 2007. Instead of a monthly playlist, I'm going to post six tracks to help you get through the week. My hope is that you can all be exposed to more music and also keeps me more in tune with what's out there. Each weeks pack will be accompanied by artwork incase you wish to burn the tracks to a disc or transfer to your MP3 player. And by all means if there is someone you think we should be listening to, leave a comment or send us an email. So without further ado here it goes, the first Vancouverite Sixpack:


1) Luscious Life - Patrick Watson
2) Tame Thoughts - Warm In The Wake
3) Heart Made Of Sound - Softlights
4) Waiting For The 7.18 - Bloc Party
5) Elephant Gun - Beirut
6) That Summer, At Home I Had Become The Invisible Boy - The Twilight Sad

Download Artwork

Right click each track and select "Save Target As", or "Download Linked File".

*Note that each Sixpack will only be available for one week, so make sure you download right away!

It's Friday January the 5 around 3:39PM and

BC Place Roof - Now with 100% more Flap!!

Yeah this city is falling apart.

It's Friday January the 5 around 2:34PM and

BC Place Stadium collapses

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Can we deal with any weather in this city anymore? Frightening.

It's Friday January the 5 around 2:31PM and

BC Place Roof Collapses!! LUKE POSTS BEFORE JACKSON DOES!!

I posted first because I am standing outside the total carnage that was BC Place. Around noon today the roof of BC Place imploded sending thousands of seagulls to their deaths, or to another roof in the city. My sources have yet to confirm.

The Lions deserve a better home though so this is good news so long as no one got hurt. I am drawing up plans for a retractable roof with lasers. Will update shortly.

Anyways here is a picture courtesy of someone I work with that got it from someone else.

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It's Friday January the 5 around 8:41AM and

Friday Clip of the Day: Gob's Single City

Gob Bluth is the absolute perfect pick me up on this dark and gloomy day. And honestly, snow? I'm pretty sure I was acting like it was spring this week.

It's Friday January the 5 around 8:05AM and

Straight Watch: Ringing in 2007, Smelling Fine

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Welcome the best and worst of this week's edition of the Georgia Straight. The issue is focused on film but seemed lighter than usual. The cover art promised a 2006 movies spectacular. But in less you really liked Click be afraid, be very afraid. Intern, roll the clips:

5. The cover story is the Top Movies of 2006. Ron Yamauchi picked Click, "Not generally recognized as a brilliant movie upon its release, Adam Sandler’s latest is an astute reverse-engineering of Bill Murray’s Groundhog Day, in which the star’s stolidly oblivious persona is played for tragedy. Profound, with fart jokes." And Casino Royale, " In a year of disappointing hype (Snakes on a Plane, Superman Returns), one popcorn thriller finally delivered a full measure of spectacular, nerve-racking fun. Daniel Craig’s Bond is a charming sociopath, perpetually one martini from delivering (or receiving) a frenzied beat-down." Wow.

4. The first City Single of the Week of the year. Always fun to start off with the kind of gal who likes sour creme on her steak. Scarlett's ideal partner is a mixture of "Doctor McDreamy and Hugh Jackman." You do the math on that statement, but being Hugh Jackman's beard is fantastic by us. Not judging.

3. Gothe delivers the smug with a first part of his best of wine box. How else can you explain this: "WATERSTONE CARNEROS PINOT NOIR 2003 ($34.70) The price is positively bargainish, especially for the first of three Pinot Noirs on the list—huge and deep and robust, the kind of California Pinot that reminds us what all the fuss was, is, and will continue to be about." I love the idea of 35$ of wine being refered to as a bargain. Well Played Gothe.

2. Oh no. Jim Green doesn't yet think he's ready to sign up for a comeback to face Sam Sullivan in 2008 for the Mayor's chair. "I’m like really good, fresh Italian food—very simple, very clear, and very flavoured," said Green. How sad is it that in Vancouver politics that our choices are between Sullivan and a non-commital Green.

1. Ah, the review of the new film Perfume by Janet Smith offering up all the scent puns you can handle: "Still, Perfume is worth sniffing out if you’re craving something other than the usual post-holiday fare. Despite its flaws, its haunting, oddball charms, like its potions, work an undeniable spell —if you can handle a few off-putting odours." Sniff.

It's Thursday January the 4 around 7:07AM and

The Open Bottle: Black Hills Alibi

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For about two years - and three or four trips to Oliver for some wine tasting goodness - I've passed the Black Hills Winery. Not that they have ever had a single drop of wine. That was almost enough for me to never bother, but i split a case of thier Alibi 2005 with Dan from WineGlow.

But before you get your hopes up, its already sold out. So i'm just smugly taunting you now. There are probably some restaurants you might be able to pick it up at for a price. Nice for us.

This is a pretty swish wine - and for the price ($23.90) this isn't something you should be breaking out at the end of the night. It's good, so drink it first, by yourself preferably - then break out the boxed stuff for your friends. Okay, I don't do that, much. But I've thought it. The tasting notes talk about grapefruit and limes and that's pretty true - something that comes from the subtle citrus from the 83% Sauvignon Blanc grapey goodness. I'd call it overated, but it's not, it's just so damned smooth and drinkable that it would be crazy for me to do so. Bonus points for the screw top as always.

It's Thursday January the 4 around 6:51AM and

Wasting An Evening with Kevin Smith

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I wasn't always the biggest Kevin Smith fan. Clerks was nearly unwatchable. Mallrats was dreadful. But then Mr. Smith seemed to catch his groove. Well, until Jersey Girl. And then a while back I watched his DVD "An Evening with Kevin Smith". Clearly he is better live than behind the camera. That said, this past week I watched Clerks II and his follow up DVD "An Evening with Kevin Smith: Evening Harder" (here's a three minute clip for ya) But seriously, watch these discs and you'll be hooked on Smith - Affleck haters or not. And here is some more things that i dug up after the impromptu Smith-A-Thon...

1. Kevin Smith picks David Cross's Diarrhea Moustache for his iTunes Celebrity Playlist. And here's why:

"While the faux title of this track is giggle-inducing enough, it's a bait-and-switch: David Cross likes to mislabel all of his tracks. Instead of diarrhea moustaches, we're treated to a spellbinding and hysterical anecdote about a night when Cross got so plastered, he could barely communicate. With "Shut Up", Cross has released the best comedy album of the last five years, bar none. If your idea of funny is Dane Cook, this may not be your brand of whimsy; but if you like nasty, frank, and bitchy laughs, get nailed to this Cross."

Love it. Especially the Dane Cook call out.

2. Kevin Smith filmed a small part in the new Die Hard movie. Of course this gives Smith the opportunity to talk about what a pimp Bruce Willis was (is) in Moonlighting:

"'The Son Also Rises', at the close of which Addison is dancing with Maddie Hayes at his father’s wedding to Anita Baker’s 'Sweet Love'. Check out that scene, if you ever get a chance: the man is a goddamned pimp. And since David Addison is, essentially, just Bruce Willis with a different name, Willis is, by extension, a goddamned pimp too." Holy crap, it's true watch the clip. Amazing. Truly Amazing. And as a special bonus: Bruce Willis as Bruno with Respect Yourself. OMG!

3. All of this makes even the thought of him acting in a TV pilot is pretty funny. However, I'm not sure what to make of his role in Catch and Release.