*If the description of Kevin Skinners work Invincible, "an army of Berts, ideal soldiers for the motherland, looking ahead, undaunted, unstoppable, and slightly grumpy" isn't enough, I can't help you.
Surely this isn't a good sign for 2008. It's like getting an email from future Dwight Schrute, to say nothing of the implications for my resolution to blog more in 2008. Bah:
We've noticed that your productivity has gone way down recently. In fact, in the past three weeks you haven't shown up to work at all. You're a valuable part of Dunder Mifflin Infinity. Without you, DMI wouldn't even exist. That's why we want to make sure that you're not leaving the company for good. If you're taking some personal time off, that's not a problem. Just click on the link below to login and get back to work no later than midnight Thursday, January 10, 2008 so we know you're still with us. All you have to do is earn some SchruteBucks and you'll be reinstated back into your branch immediately. Earning SchruteBucks is as easy as updating your profile, posting a message on your forum or completing a task. Just make sure to stay active at least once every three weeks and you'll never get a notice like this ever again. We've got some really great tasks coming up in the new year and we'd hate for you to miss out on them.
If you truly do wish to leave Dunder Mifflin Infinity, you don't have to do anything. On January 11, 2008 you will be terminated from your branch. Just know that we bid you a fond farewell and we'll miss you. We'd love to have you back at any time.
Seriously, I'm being fired from Dunder Mifflin Infinity? Bastards. 2008 is going to suck. Well, I guess it could be worse. I could be China and see my economy drop 40% overnight (Losing $4 trillion has gotta get someone fired over there.
The best bargain on Boxing Day? The sunset - which gave way to this picturesque view of False Creek from the Cambie Street Bridge. And it was all for free!
And you're damn right. If I'm posting Bear Force 1 videos, that you need some S Club 7 Christmas too. And yes, my postings this week consist of mostly Youtube. Deal with it.
Graham reminded me of one of the best parts of Christmas this morning.Lou Monte's 1967 classic 'Dominic The Italian Christmas Donkey'. The video isn't all that impressive, especially when this website with scrolling lyrics and the most amazing animated GIFs ever is around.
Encore Avenue was playing Army of Darkness tonight. One word: rad. Which tickled me mostly because for some reason I was in a Legion/70's era rec room bar in Toronto this week. Clearly trying to avoid the major douchery that was spilling from the earth's core/suburbs for the Bon Jovi concerts (mullets + cougars = a pure hell) was harder than it first appeared. On a light side the 5 Buds + Chili Nachos for $24.99 was all sorts of low brow fun. The fact that our bartender looked like Bruce Campbell was an added bonus. PS: how is Army of Darkness 15 years old already?
This could be the first of many holiday themed posts, that as the days count down to December 25th will get increasingly bah and humbugged. Until then here's 10 really good things:
2. The Jones Soda 2007 Holiday pack sickens me to know end. Christmas ham? Honest to god! And yet I can't stop thinking about what it might taste like.
Blogging is a tough racket. Complete disclosure: yes, clearly that has been a lackluster amount of posting the past six weeks. I could make up a lot of excuses, in fact earlier today I briefly flirted with the notion of claiming that I was on strike with the rest of the writers. Then I thought about running re-runs of old content, but I'm pretty sure it would lead to some sort of argument with the SEO people I know. And worse, seeing Stephen Colbert banner ads today claiming he invented the concept of the "Me-Run". Damn you Colbert! Damn you!
I thought about saying something about my soul/heart being replaced with a peanut butter sandwich, but who wants to hear that from a god damned blogger. That would hurt me more than you I'm pretty sure. I don't suppose "real work" would be acceptable to you either? And if that didn't work, i doubt "my dog ate my blogs" would work. Although I did almost try to pull the SAD card.
So, excuses are over, for today at least. There may not be new episodes of The Office, but here, at The Vancouverite, the blogging returns. Writer's strike be damned!*. I'm pretty sure the 12 of you sending me angry emails every week about how lazy I am will be happy for this breaking news story. I can't promise that the content will be better than the above video, but you knew that already...
*Unless this prevents me from joining the WGA at some point in the future, then this is all part of your imagination after you had the blue pill. That is all.
These girls enjoyed the sunny weather by mingling with Granville Island's feathered nuisances ... ah ... we mean friends. If you believe the forecast, we're in for more sun this week. Then again, if you trust the weather report it probably means you're new to these parts.
Tonight's theme as blogging begins to return to normal, is the writer's strike. I mean, during this difficult time, as original scripted television programming comes to a halt, can we not have shows like this I ask you? Fox should be all over this angle quite frankly. Discuss.
I mean, clearly, NBC is totally loving the writer's strike. Clash of the Choirs? Is this for real?
A few inches of the white stuff coated the Vancouver Art Gallery during the weekend snowfall. It's all gone now but it'll be back before Christmas if the weather forecast pans out.
Rain and chill got you down, Vancouver? Don't go popping pills to pick
yourself up. Just a little break in the clouds is all you need to
catch a glimpse of the awesome cityscape surrounding English Bay.
If you didn’t know better you’d think New Jersey had decided to invade the Lower Mainland. Bruce Springsteen tix just hit Ticketmaster for the Boss’s March 31 show (got mine!). Meanwhile, the Devils skate over to the Garage to face the Canucks on Dec. 18.
Before they arrive, Bon Jovi charges into town on their steel horse — and with more makeup than five hetero males should ever carry — for back-to-back dates at GM Place on Dec. 15 and 16. I normally wouldn’t get excited about an obscenely overpriced ticket that’s more about commercial sales than artistic merit, but this tour is in support of a new album, “Lost Highway”, that’s damn good. Bon Jovi could always put on a stadium-rocking show that rivals most acts, now they’ve got some really outstanding tunes to fill the space while you’re waiting to hear “You Give Love a Bad Name” and “Livin’ on a Prayer”.
The other two big-name shows at GM Place are the Spice Girls (Dec. 2) and Van Halen (Dec. 5). But you’re not shelling out for that junk, right?
Here are the highlights for the Vancouver music scene for December (***-I have my tickets; **-If I could afford it, I’d go; *-Give me a freebie and I’m there, and I’ll buy the first round):
Dec. 3: Tori Amos, Orpheum**
Dec. 7: Tower of Power, Red Robinson Theatre*
Dec. 8: Apostle of Hustle, Plaza*
Dec. 9: Sharon Jones and the Dapkings, Commodore*** (Go see this show!!)
Dec. 13: Shonen Knife, Richard’s on Richards*
Dec. 13: The Blakes, Media Club*
Dec. 15 and 16: Bon Jovi, GM Place***
Dec. 31: Tom Cochrane, Red Robinson Theatre**
Yes, long time no post. I have been stewing in the guilt.
Anyways, this was last night's episode. I scoured the web to find a clip of Peter dancing to Axel F but because those douchebags at Fox have shutdown all decent clips on youtube, I had to go to some shady website to get my fix.
