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It's Friday January the 18 around 8:38AM and

Ezra Levant + Human Rights Commission + Youtube = Thrills

Watching Ezra Levant go off on the Human Rights Commission on the intent of his magazine publishing those Danish cartoons is, well, pretty rad. [via Megan McArdle]

It's Friday January the 18 around 8:25AM and

Happy Birthday Cary Grant

Today would be Cary Grants birthday. I saw two posts on the internets about it already. I'm dressed like a bit of a slob, which doesn't really say much about anything I may have learned from Mr. Grant. Whatevs. Might try to use the following North By Northwest quote at some point today:

"Now you listen to me, I'm an advertising man, not a red herring. I've got a job, a secretary, a mother, two ex-wives and several bartenders that depend upon me, and I don't intend to disappoint them all by getting myself "slightly" killed. " - Roger Thornhill.

It's Thursday January the 17 around 8:02AM and

Kind of Creepy Cheese Ad

Consumerist unearths an especially creepy cheese ad featuring Luis Guzman and wait for it...other 'chedder hunks.'

It's Thursday January the 17 around 7:54AM and

Lasagna Cat

Piling on to the Lasagna Cat phenomenon that is sweeping the tubes. This is kind of what the internets was invented for: grown men reenacting comic strips about a grumpy fat cat. The fact that in this episode Jon decides to grow a mustache followed by a Manic Monday musical blow out...is how you say? Amazing.

It's Tuesday January the 15 around 11:23PM and

Summary Judgment: Douglas Coupland's JPod Watch: Episodes 1 & 2.

Just got around to watching the 2nd episode of CBC's JPod. Yes folks, that is right my favorite proveyor of the smug, Douglas Coupland, has brought his Helvetica loving quirkfest to the mothership. I've watch the pilot and the 2nd episode and here's what you need to know. Oh, and yes, in case you're wondering I've read the book.

The Best of the Worst.

1. Terrible video game graphics. That and some shit awful sound design tip this off as Canadian.

2. Did they deliberately chose the cinematography/lighting/look of the show? Or is this just what a scripted show filmed on a set in Canada has to look like? If so why? It looks better outdoors, but inside looks like a Canadian show. I hate that.

3. Pretty sure tonight they were at After Glow. Can't ever go there again. Douche alerts!

4. Do Coupland's little inane miscellany page filler items that seem questionable in even the books translate into television transition? At all? No. No they do not.

5. Helvetica.

6. The idea of shirtless software developers makes me kind of sick-y.

7. Blatant use of Tragically Hip in the pilot. Is that ironic or just lazy?

8. Canwest calls it (and other new CBC shows) "urbane, ironic and watchable"? Gulp. "the show combines the elements of nerdy Chuck and quirky Weeds." Or is it Weeds and Reaper?

9. 60 minute episodes? Bahahhahahaah. That's rich.

10. Character blogs with not very much in the way of posts. Bless the web marketificationability and the tubes.

The Sort of Bestest Parts

1. It's not Two and A Half Men. I smell an endorsement.

2. Alan Thicke. Amazing, ironic choice, and full of retro-ocity. It's like Jason Seaver went on a twisted bender and started fooling around on Maggie while Boner and Mike watched. Too much? I should have said Ben? Right? He was more impressionable. And have you ever truly lived unless you've seen Thicke in a Nazi uniform? Amazing. PS: Has he aged at all?

3. Steph Song. Why? For real, you've seen this right?

4. Emilie Ullerup.

5. Laughable to see snow in Vancouver. Genius.

6. Upside to refuges? Sorry. My bad. Wrong list.

7. Just remembered from book. Will Coupland actually appear as himself in upcoming episodes? Please say yes. Smug meter would just go off.

8. Helvetica?

9. Refreshingly not Corner Gas.

10. Something to pass the WGA strike with no new Office or 30 Rock.

It's Tuesday January the 15 around 10:49PM and

Buzz Dump: Do you know what Freedom is?

My morning started with watching this creepy Tom Cruise scientology video and it ends with news he tried to pick up Jennifer Garner years ago with a super weird line: "Do you know what freedom is?" You go Jen G. That was grossness. Or as The Hater describes the whole mess: "Scientology is kind of like Fox News Channel: rambling, intense, nonsensical, graphics-happy, often scored to bombastic music, prone to overuse of the word "freedom" (as in "The Freedom Medal Of Valor"), and unintentionally hilarious." [Seriously, just watch the top five creepy bits and refrain from watching either of the two links Hater tried to direct you to, a video of Jordy's Ohh La Baby.]

Pretty sure that buying Olive and Rosemary bread, when you think you are buying the super delicious Olive Oil and Rosemary mini loaf counts as a low light. I'm sure you don't care.

Emily Gould (she formerly of Gawker) sums up nicely the Vanity Fair love in piece this month about Indiana Jones over at Jewcy. Note: Count her as the third Gawker alumni that I've crushed on after Ana Marie Cox and Jessica Coen and quite possibly a 4th on Jezebel already. And doubly awesome, how great is Jewcy's masthead: A Magazine and Community for new Jews and other Riffraff. Love it. Count me in.

Mitt Romney won the Michigan Primary tonight? Oh dear lord. And then Hilary beat, er, um, "uncommitted" (awesome and indifferent) and you wonder how America rules the world don't you. Jim Treacher: ""These primaries are like the Special Olympics: Everybody gets a ribbon!" [Detroit News]

This is fairly incredible look at what three guys, a digital camera and four days can do. It's like Saving Private Ryan indie style. Very cool.

Here's a disturbing yet funny look at the downfall of HD-DVD featuring Hitler.

It's Tuesday January the 15 around 10:29PM and

Macbook Air: Thin. Smug. Upsetting. Flawed.

I'm thinking I just might go against the conventional wisdom of the collective on this one. Do I really need my laptop to be portable into a vanilla envelope? The Macbook Air. Oh, and crap it's goddamned green too. Damn you Jobs, you bastard. [Gizmodo]

Update: This is what smug looks like in a picture. [Ed: Correction. This might technically be shit eating actually? Standby. ]

Update 2: And complete with 1st generation fatal flaws.

Update 3: $1799 in the US. $1899 in Canada. Clearly Steve Jobs hates Canada.

Update 4: Fine. I want one. Hate you Apple.

It's Tuesday January the 15 around 10:23PM and

Canucks Lose 3-2: To the Blue Jackets. Really?

I'm not even sure I've posted a single item about the Canucks since the season began. My bad. But I'm pretty sure without paying attention that them losing to the Blue Jackets is kind of not cool. But they really did lose 3-2. PS: I saw "CBJ" on the TV (don't ask, I was in the office of one of the suits) and at first was like, "that's a real team, seriously" before just snickering a lot as i tried to figure it out. I'm in a shame spiral about enjoying the loss so much, and i potentially think I'd care more about hockey if there was more dancing girls. I'm just saying.

It's Tuesday January the 15 around 12:24AM and

Conan The Barbarian: What is Best in Life?

Ever since I listened to Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier's Christmas Smodcast over the holidays and they talked for like 40 minutes about Conan The Barbarian, I can't shake this scene of Conan sharing what he thinks is best in life out of my head. Enjoy that.

It's Monday January the 14 around 11:30PM and

Monday Round Up: A mirror held up to meaninglessness

Kind of don't even care if this is a fake trailer. JJ Abrams + Star Trek is fun.

The Onion's The Hater sums up the Golden Globes trimmed down craptacular NBC 'special', "But, really, the winners didn't matter. What did matter, then? Nothing. Honestly, nothing, because the show was so stripped down it was essentially a mirror held up to meaninglessness."

Drunk History vol. 1 featuring Michael Cera. Do I need to say more?

Mystery Science Theatre 3000 part deux.

Dogs and Cats living together: Let me get this straight Naomi Campbell and Hugo Chavez are dating? Is this the world trying to balance out the crazy of Britney?

Um, is a mashup of There Will Be Blood and the Milkshake song really necessary? Still want to see that movie.

Tim Blair does it again with this one line: "... In an attempt to break the world irony record, an apparent suicide bomber targets Hamas."

The idea of a personal annual report intrigues me. A lot. Nicholas Felton actually does them, and they are super awesome and design-y good. Yum. Mostly this just makes me wish we could do over 2007. Hate you ever moving forward time continuum. (Via Kottke)

It's Monday January the 14 around 11:17PM and

Britney Spears Endorses Dr. Pepper

Britney Spears ruins Dr. Pepper for all of us.

Pretty sure Britney will now forever etch into my brain the following, "don't drink Dr. Pepper, that's for crackheads like Britney Spears." Thanks a lot bumpkin. It does however turn a delightful jingle on its ear. And no, I wouldn't like to be "a pepper too." I would count this as a PR nightmare for Dr. Pepper.

It's Monday January the 14 around 10:53PM and

Gordon Campbell's Magical Green Transit Plan

Gordon Campbell Presents his 12-year Transit Plan

Gordon Campbell announced today the "bajillion" dollars he plans on spending on transportation over the next 12 years. The plan includes, "$10.3-billion in four new rapid transit lines in Metro Vancouver, $1.2-billion for a new rapid bus service in Kelowna, Victoria, and Vancouver, and $1.6-billion investment in 1,500 new buses and related maintenance." [CTV, Global TV Video]

My favorite part of the days events was Transportation Minister Kevin Falcon's boast on why size or cash matters, "One new transit line was committed to in each of the previous three decades. This plan delivers three lines in the next decade."

One could only imagine being a fly on the wall with Gordon Campbell and Kevin Falcon before they announced this. Falcon: "biggest. spending project in BC. ever sir. your legacy!" Gordo: "High Five. Iz nice" (In a Borat voice obvs.)

Now if only we could add to the seven or eight cabs in the city and we'd be totally laughing.

It's Sunday January the 13 around 8:05PM and

Tidbits of Monday Ridiculousness:

Last weekend I watched the entire informercial for the Magic Bullet Countertop Magician. It was too hard to turn away. This is what happens when you don't change channels while watching Sunday morning news shows. This week it was the one for US Gold. Believe you me, knowing about "Nuclear threats from Iran & Korea" totally makes we want to buy gold. Duh.

This is good news. Jeffrey Wells on Cloverfield: "This movie is REM madness. It is Guillermo del Toro on a tab of brown acid with a little crack thrown in."

Hoping to convince her to post a full fledge rant about Atonement I give you not-very-often-contributing editor Josee's reaction via text to the news of it winning the Best Drama Golden Globe: "Serious? Son of a bitch."

Ana Marie Cox's Twitter from the campaign trail is worth the read for gems like, "There was a McCain event today at Andiamos Celebrity Showroom: "Vegas-style dinner theater with a taste of Detroit."

Certainly readiing this sentence on all of the books about George W. Bush by James Wolcott in the latest Vanity Fair made me crack up: "One exception in the guilt department is John Bolton's Yosemite Sam memoir of his stint as United States representive to the United Nation, Surrender is Not an Option - reading it is like being lectured by a ham sandwich for 450-plus pages."

Which leads us to this amazing part of the terrible movie Hot Rod where a giant Taco fights a giant grilled cheese sandwich. Natch.

It's Saturday January the 12 around 12:39PM and

Harlan Ellison on Paying Writers

Priceless rant by writer Harlan Ellison. Hilarious.

It's Saturday January the 12 around 12:36PM and

Calm Before the Storm

Vancouver rescinds into the storm clouds as seen from the beach Monday afternoon before the snow and rain descended. If you believe the forecast, we're in for sunshine before the weekend. But take a believe-it-when-you-see-it attitude on that
one.

(Photo by Julia Pelish Photography)

It's Saturday January the 12 around 12:31PM and

Vancouver : A Photographic Exploration

(Photo credit: Photo by Zipporah Wilson)

Exposure Gallery’s latest exhibit “ Vancouver : A Photographic Exploration” will have its opening on Friday the 11th. The gallery is located at 754 East Broadway and the show runs through Sunday, January 27 (hours are Thursday-Sunday, noon-5 p.m.). It features some of our city’s finest photographers in a group show.

It's Friday January the 11 around 8:11AM and

Blast Off

Not a bad start to a Friday with solo work from Weezer's Rivers Cuomo out. Sounds purdy and the mustaches in full effect and it also features trampolines!

It's Tuesday January the 8 around 9:13AM and

I wish I were made of chocolate sometimes...

Kind of an amazing Axe ad.

It's Sunday January the 6 around 9:04AM and

Dear McRib Tour You, Offend Me

Dear McDonald's. Your shameless 'viral' attempts at keeping the blessed third heat on your awful creation known as the McRib really chaps my hide. You're sick. That is is all.

It's Sunday January the 6 around 8:58AM and

David Lynch Offers Opinion on iPhone

This clip of David Lynch on the iPhone just makes me want to watch the new Twin Peaks box set that much more, and not on my iPhone or iTouch or whatever. Not going to lie, i may still be rocking the iPod Mini circa 2004 so I know what Lynch is talking about.

It's Sunday January the 6 around 8:49AM and

Pam Anderson Upgrades to Furry Orca

Pam Anderson Makes Out with Vancouver Canuck Mascot Finn

I guess it shouldn't be all that shocking to see Pam Anderson all over Vancouver Canuck's mascot Fin. She's not quite Brit-Brit crazy, yet, but Pammy will literally sleep with pretty much anything, including a terrible mascot."The Canucks' mascot gets it on with Pam Anderson," writes With Leather, "ensuring a future generation of whorcas."

Gross.

It's Sunday January the 6 around 8:45AM and

Conan O'Brien Strike Beard Funny

So Conan O'Brien is back on the tubes. And the idea of him doing Radiohead's 'Creep' on Rock Band and then doing Beastie Boys 'Sabotage' as Edith Bunker is, well, pretty funny.

It's Wednesday January the 2 around 1:18PM and

New Years, French Style!

God I heart me some France, and they are going through a pretty fun 2008 already:

1. First, there is no more smoking in public places. This can not end well. Trust me.

2. And this is more related to our fair city. Can you even imagine if Vancouverites burned 372 (144 in Paris alone) cars on New Years? But in typical French amazing fashion..."There is usually an increase in the number of cars torched on New Year's Eve compared to other days of the year." I mean come on it was down from the 397 last year right? Victory France!

Pretty sure Sam Sullivan would combust if this happened here. Sounds perfect let's celebrate French New Years here in Vancouver next year. 2009 here we come...

It's Wednesday January the 2 around 7:18AM and

David Cross And His Chipmunk Mad Money

David Cross kind of starts the New Year off right with a post about his 'Alvin and the Chipmunks money' that is really boss:

"Hello, David here. I've internally debated the merits of addressing my appearance in, (and thus tacit condoning of) "Alvin and The Chipmunks". I am not stupid nor unobservant. I knew going into this movie that I would be eating a lot of delicious shit for it. Usually I wouldn't give a shit about what everyone's feelings are about it, but I wasn't prepared for the level, or amount I should say, of vitriol that's been flung about like so much monkey poo."

(Via: Lindsayism & Goldenfiddle.)

It's Tuesday January the 1 around 10:29PM and

Dancing in the Streets

These partygoers rung in the new year with a spin in the streets. Good call by the city to block off Granville between Robson and Helmcken for the crowd of revelers.

(Photo by Julia Pelish Photography)

It's Tuesday January the 1 around 10:26PM and

Happy New Year, Vancouver!

The Clock Tower strikes midnight and Robson and Granville turns electric as 2008 arrives.

(Photo by Julia Pelish Photography)

It's Tuesday January the 1 around 10:15PM and

Vancouver Concert Listings: Rockin’ Into 2008

(Blue Rodeo at Bluesfest XXXIII. Photo credit: jessica @ flickr)

So what’s with the lame New Year’s Eve in this burg anyway?

Sure, the action on Granville Monday night was more lively than usual, but watching a countdown on an unspectacular clock makes us look more Mayberry than Olympian. Just throw together a stage outside the Commodore, stick an amp, a drum set and a mike stand on top, drop a giant inukshuk at midnight and trawl out 54/40 for some rockin’ tunes.

Seems simple. Toronto can do it.

All it would take is a little bit of effort. Then again Vancouverites aren’t about work, are we? Ah, well, I guess our sleepy little town will never be all it can be. Too bad, since we could do a hell of a job of throwing a bash with the climate and all. What the city needs to do is enlist the help of some NYE veterans, like the guys from Blue Rodeo, who’ve gotten Nathan Phillips Square in TO hopping numerous times in sub-zero temps.

The Little Canadian Band That Could stops into town for a two-date set at the Orpheum this month. I’ll be in the second row in the Orchestra Pit – come by and say, “Hey, hey, I guess it hasn’t hit me yet, I fell through this crack and I kinda lost my head…”

If you’ve never seen Greg Keelor, Jim Cuddy and crew, shame, shame. Resolve to support great musicians this year, starting with these venerable and humble guys who Rolling Stone once said are “good enough simply to let the music do the talking”.

Here are the highlights for the Vancouver music scene for the first 31 days of the new year (***-I have my tickets; **-If I could afford it, I’d go; *-Give me a freebie and I’m there, and I’ll buy the first round):

Jan. 4: Pride Tiger, Cobalt*
Jan. 8: Birds and Kites, Media Club*
Jan. 10: Fall From Grace and the Vincent Black Shadow, Plaza Club*
Jan. 11: Big and Rich (with loads of guests), Pacific Coliseum**
Jan. 11: Patti Labelle, River Rock*
Jan. 11: Mark Farina, Commodore**
Jan. 12: Michael Buble, GM Place**
Jan. 14-15: Blue Rodeo, Orpheum***
Jan. 15: Classified, Plaza Club***
Jan. 18-19: Amanda Marshall, River Rock**
Jan. 18: Hedley and Pride Tiger, Croatian Cultural Centre*
Jan. 18: Shuyler Jansen and Deep Dark Woods, Railway Club*
Jan. 19: Hedley and Pride Tiger, Commodore*
Jan. 19: SNFU, Red Room*
Jan. 21: Dan Deacon, Richard’s on Richards*
Jan. 24: The Bravery, Richard’s on Richards***
Jan. 25: Loverboy, Commdore* (just for the laughs)
Jan. 26: Macy Gray, River Rock**
Jan. 28: Silverstein and IllScarlett, Croatian Cultural Centre*
Jan. 31: Chris Smither, St. James Hall***