Thank god. It's not good when Own the Podium is being bailed out by sequined ice dancers. But thank god it was. Especially if our new gold medal overlord Tessa Virtue looks like the long lost hot Deschanel sister. For more coverage check out Gawker's hilarious view on last night.
PS: The Olympic Mascot daily ice dance show at Robson Square looks absolutely terrifying.
One of two bright spots for CTV's dreadful Olympic coverage is the adorable MTV transplant Aliya-Jasmine Sovani seen here in Sharp Magazine. The other one? The intern they have waiting in line.
Good thing that leprosy is curable now. Cause given how they've been unable to free the torch, I'm not sure VANOC could figure out how to deal with this. Close call. Hilarious headline. (Via The Province)
I assume after this crash that we can close the book on us wanting to bring back street cars when the games are done. Gregor Robertson is going to upset with this conclusion.
(Photo: Vancity Allie)
Thankfully Budweiser has answered the call of Molson, and every other house in the city, and given rise to Club Bud at the Commodore Ballroom. The girls wearing only paint helps.
Love the interview of a Dutch Gold Medal winner Sven Kramer by NBC where they ask question and Kramer replies, "Are you stupid." Genius.
Buzz on the social media toobs today has been of the Russian Women's Curlers. Fair enough.
Kind of awesome French Skier failing in 18-seconds flat. Bravo.
Tiger Woods just owned the podium and won gold for the Men's Sexaholic 1000m Sprint Mea Culpa. Just did it. (More at Gawker)
I can see now why I don't hit up Maclean's home page too often. I never noticed before that Maclean's sort of completely ripped off the design of The Daily Beast?
Nice to see that Kiki Dunst is still working. Albeit in a rambling 4-minute super hip clothing video with Jason Swartzman. It's called non plus one final featuring the spring/summer Opening Ceremony line. (Via AdFreak)
Yesterday's women's downhill, where Gold Medal Babe Lindsay Vonn dominated, featured three massive ski wipe outs. Watch the above AP slideshow or head over to Gawker for the video.
I can see why GM has been going out of business. Whether it is the ugly fleet of cars they gave to VANOC or the media bombing of TV ads during the CTV coverage featuring their stupid talking cars.
And they even had the time and money to do outtakes. So viral! That only 474 poor people have been subjected too. And I included this because they don't want me to embed the actual ad for some reason.
Of course Gawker is all over the hipster Olympic beat:
"French half-pipe snowboarder Mathieu Crepel sported the world's most ironic mustache last night. Let us count the levels of irony: (1.) Beginner's irony: It is a fake, black-ink mustache on an adult. (2.) Advanced-placement irony: It is drawn on top of his real mustache. (3.) Nationalist irony: A teensy, curling mustache on a Frenchman, at an competition that emphasizes one's citizenship."
Please don't let this become a thing. If I don't see this spread in Vancouver I'll be shocked.
Took my folks to see Short Track last night where 20-year old birthday girl Canadian Marianne St-Gelais won silver in the women's 500m final. I dropped them right off at Dundas & Kaslo (Renfrew is closed) and was able to pick them up with no hassle 30 minutes after we won silver as I waited in the exact same spot. No traffic. No issues. And there was tonnes of that local parking too.
Lesson? Don't let VANOC tell you what you can and can't do, since they have convinced so many people to take transit it is smooth sailing for the fleet of VANOC cars that never seem to have anybody in them. Take advantage of this and get a friend to drop you off at the events at Pacific Coliseum and flaunt the green games! Let other people be GREEN while you idle in heated seats waiting to pick up your loved ones. Take that Gregor Robertson!
The press is taking glee out of every misstep, foul up, rainout, protest, and cancellation of the 2010 Games. The Seattle Times kicks it off coverage of the "Worst Games Ever" by writing about the, "prison-camp look of the Olympic caldron display."
The AP got into it, "From fire to ice, nothing seems to be going right at the Olympics.
The torch malfunctioned. Warm weather turned the slopes and the event schedule to slop. A Zamboni had to ride to the rescue from Calgary following a meltdown at the speedskating rink.
By Tuesday, the Glitch Games were in full swing: 20,000 standing-room tickets for the snowboarding venue were voided because fans had fallen between the bales of hay under the melting layers of trucked-in snow."
And even The venerable Washington Post got into the act. "None of these problems on its own is huge. But none is insignificant, either, not if you're a Canadian mom trying to take your kids to see the Olympic cauldron or a speedskater forced to wait an extra hour to compete as your muscles tighten and your timing goes to hell. Yet Vancouver wants you to judge its performance not on the screwups, but on the way it handles them. "It's a little bit like luggage," Valade said "It's not whether your luggage gets lost; it's how you deal with it."Apparently not losing the luggage never crossed anyone's mind. "
And for good measure, we are fighting with British Media over the coverage too.
We're only on Day 6 of the 2010 Games this morning people, but the closing of the games is coming fast. Here's some early spoilers:
-100% more FRENCH! They got in a lot of trouble for throwing out one French singer at the end during the openings, so get out that French-English dictionary. Expect Celine Dion to correct this? Or as the twitters are speculating just some "dancing voyageurs."
-Avril Lavigne to play (at least she sounds French on paper). We hear she's been spotted dating Brody Jenner the past few weeks? Will he be in the crowd?
-Rush and Neil Young will play and possibly blow roof off of stadium, maybe. Definetly 100% greater chance of air bass in closings. (Still no Nickleback? This is crazy talk)
-Major Slam Poety set not nailed down yet.
More to come...
Really Vancouver? You rushed the stage at the Alexisonfire concert in Yaletown and 10-20 people were taken to the hospital. Really? Get it together. And did we buy these barriers from the same place as the zambonis? (Via CTV)
Five Best Things about seeing Speed Skating at the Olympics:
5. The go super fast. And the skaters have thighs like tree trunks. Was wondering if sport would get more mainstream if there was exciting soccer-like shirt/jersey take off after heats? Just a thought.
4. Crashes are exciting too. It's like human NASCAR.Can't wait until Short Track next week.
3. The tuba band, Kleintje Pils, was completely insane. They played everything. Sweet Caroline, Check. And at one point the Oval was pumping Daft Punk. And at other times it was super Euro.
2. The Dutch. How much do these people love this sport? Except for those two super creepy orange cat people. That was just weird.
1. The guy doing the "Go to the start" and "Reaaaaady?" calls. Going to make this my ring tone. Its awesome! Download it.
Oh, and here are the results if this is something you care about.
Nice to see that even in a gentleman's sport like men's figure skating, the stars can bitch at each other like it was Gossip Girl. Oh wait. Here is tonight's not so subtle war of wars between Canada's Patrick Chan and Evgeni Plushenko.
Chan: "Quad doesn't mean gold. He has the confidence that he doesn't need to do the transitions because he can do what I think is a magnificent quad. But he's old"
Plushenko: "if it's not the quad, it's not figure skating."
Boom! That's how you do that people. PS: his hair is amazing, still, even after coming out of retirement. Dude's only 27. Is Johnny Weir going to get in on this?
Spotted at Pacific Coliseum. Did P think E would go down without a fight? Or can these two hotties work it out? There's nothing Gossip Girl likes more than a good catfight. And this could be a classic. xoxo.
UPDATE: There was a guy in dirty overalls skating?
(Photo AFP)
So Canada is on the scoreboard with a second gold on home soil. This time it was local snowboarder Maelle Ricker who won gold in the woman's snowboard cross
Loved after Maelle Ricker won gold, and finally made it down to the CTV studio for her interviews (that must totally blow), and giggled every third word, and then Brian Williams awkwardly said, "Enjoy the night, I know boarders like to party so enjoy, well done." As if. Really, Brian Williams. Do you really know boarders like to party. Honestly can somebody deal with CTV's "control studio"?
(Photo: AFP/Getty)
It's Day 5 people. Another day, another event postponed. The snow it would seem is just too wet. Or there is too much snow. Or whatever. It's hard to keep track. So the Super Combined, and super-combined slalom will be rescheduled. (CKNW)
Meanwhile NBC is reporting that crews are madly trying to fix up the snowboard cross venue too.
Wait, Day Four is already pretty much over? That was SUPER fast. Let's take a look at the day that was:
1. Zamboni Fail
It's bad enough that we didn't have any snow, and it's like Summer already, but can we not get our shit together on the ice surface and zamboni's at the Richmond Oval? I mean, what is this, Robson Square outside time? Get it together. The Dutch are furioous and will continue to ban us from their Heineken House. (More via Scott Feschuck)
2. Woman's Hockey is not Olympic caliber.
The Canadian Woman's Hockey Team snapped the neck of the Swiss team today 10-1. Can we just conclude that no one else but North American Women can play this game? I think Canada should send 2 or 3 teams. They could sweep this crap. None of these teams Canada and USA have to play should be qualified as Olympic athletes.
3. Every Canadian Politician EVER is in town right now
Nice to see that when Stephen Harper Prorogued parliament the opposition was steaming mad. But Hedy Fry spends all day long attending parades, tweeting, and uploading photos of herself behind the TSN sportsnews desk. She must have been real busy. I'd like to prorogue her indefinitely. I have no idea what Andrea Reimer is talking about but it sounds like we should break that up.
4. Gawker noticed how ridiculous mogul skiing bean bag leader board chairs are.
Or as they called it the, Couch of Shame. Meanwhile their brother site Deadspin declared this this Worst Olympics Ever.
5. Hottest Pairs Figure Skater?
Even the clowns fell! Maybe they NEED that makeup? China is rocking Gold and Silver tonight. What the eff happened to the Russians? They probably have 1000's of teams standing by for 2014. So we're giving this to Canadian Anabelle Langlois. Sure she came in 9th, but home soil shout out:
6. Best Olympic Billboard?
This one featuring silver medalist Jenn Heil with a go-go-gadget helicopter coming out of her back is pretty cool. "Don't try challenging jenn hiel. Unless you're half-falcon. PS: Impossible."
7. Why do figure skaters always blow it?
Looking back at the carpet bombing CTV believe ads you would have thought Jessica Dube and Bryce Davison were right in the top of the world. That was there SEASON's BEST? The Province headline is "Olympic Pairs figure skating: Canadian excel but finish out of medals as China takes gold"
8. Jenny 8 Lee discovers Vij's lineup
See that! It's number 8 and she's got an 8! See the lineup.
9. Wait, We only got one snowboard cross medal?
What gives? a href="http://www.vancouver2010.com/olympic-snowboard/schedule-and-results/mens-snowboard-cross-finals_sbm490100gS.html">Seriously? We should be sweeping the snowboard stuff across the board.
10. Hell, Even Bode Miller Managed to Medal in Something
How can we not get a medal in the downhill? The Canadian Cowboys 5th, 17th, and 25th. Yee Haw. Thankfully we could keep talking about how awesome Alex Bilodeau was and what a dick that Aussie skier was.
What magical coverage is she watching? There must be another non-HD feed that shows Lisa LaFlamme as some sort of well dressed babe. What channel is this on?
Together at last. Somewhere Michael Ignatieff is penning a strongly worded letter to Mr. Harper. (Via & wallpaper size PM)
Awkward NBC. And confusing within the marshmallow roasting ceremony motif. Although this still seems better than CTV. (Via Mediaite.)
You know, I kind of expected a LOT more when I heard Cindy Crawford was in Vancouver shilling for Omega. I didn't not expect: her in a silver space suit, in a bobsled, and looking unimpressed. 2010 Cindy Crawford is no Cindy circa 1988. (The Province)
Is Ukraine taking the piss? This pairs team isn't for real is it? Tatiana Volosozhar /
Stanislav Morozov. They are dressed in badass spacemen jumpsuits, the guy is built like Stalin, and they look ridiculous. David Pelletier and Jamie Sale provided CTV with a bright spot covering this. "You can't show up at the olympics dressed like that. This is a sport, not a carnival" They just out snarked Lainy.
So my question is: Are these two more embarrassing than the Slovakian Woman's Hockey team (18-0)?
Yes, Canada wins Gold on its own soil. But before we get into the details, what will CTV talk about now that this has happened on Day 3? The CTV coverage is going to get worse before it gets better. I imagine that Alexandre Bilodeau is going to cut an absolute swath through Vancouver tonight. Basically dude can do whatever he wants. Just let him do it. Fire up one of those choppers. Girls at the Molson Hockey House better get ready.
Best part was CTV's "he's made a believer of us all." Then cued up the Believe song montage, AGAIN. Jesus. Enough of that. PS: Jennifer Hedger sounds like she has been at the bar all night. Do the CTV camera add weight AND age? She's 34 going on 50.
Love that over on CBC former Big Brother contestants and smart-challenged love birds Jeff and Jordan just won the first leg of the new season of Amazing Race. The prize? That would be 5-days at the Sutton Place here in Vancouver served up with a side of Whale Watching and then for no reason whatsoever, a skeleton ride at the Whistler Sliding Center. Be careful Jordan.
I don't know which VP Joe Biden I like more. Is it the Joe Biden who is wearing Canadian Red Mittens?
Or is it Joe Biden in track suit, walking aimlessly in the Whistler Village. OMG. Can we keep both of them?
Nice to see that there was a Hedy Fry parade float in the Chinese New Year celebration. Phew.
Love the CTV just spent 5 minutes on former Canadian, now quasi Aussie Medal winner, Dale Begg Smith who seems to be confusing to Canadian media when he snubs them. Since he's live in Australia since he was 14. Yes, he's kind of jerk. But a jerk Canadian-Aussie is kind of awesome. It's like a rare b-side. Guess we'll find out in Men's Moguls later today.
Nice to see that uber fashion twins Dean and Dan launched a new Olympic hoodie in Vancouver last night. A hoodie launch? Really? The DSQUARED duo made a fleece hoodie. It says Canada. It has a maple leaf. It is $350. What is it made out of? Rare baby skin or something?
And clearly they are made exclusively for the alien invasion. Is that really supposed to be a woman in the sketch? Good lord she's creepy.
Jenn Heil just came second in the Ladies' Moguls. So close to first, but yet so far. Looks good with a surfboard tho. So she's got that going for her.
Really glad Slovakia sent their top athletes to Vancouver to play hockey. So nice to see the elite sporting starts from around the globe compete.
I can see why the cheap seats in this place are pretty much sold out except for tonight. It's like Cactus Club + Hooters + Hockey Hair.
Olympic Protests turned violent this morning as 200 protesters massed downtown and windows were smashed at the Hudson's Bay Company megastore. From Canadian Press:
"The protesters, shouting obscenities and dressed in black, are marching up Georgia Street, pushing over mail boxes and newspaper boxes. At least one woman has been taken away by police.The protesters appear to have abandoned all pretense of promoting any political agenda. Obscenities dominate their screams. A hooded protester determined to provoke the police fell down. As police moved in to hand cuff him, he pulled out a camera and started taking photos of the police. Police finally mobilized with batons and hard helmets."
UPDATE: Here's some video. Are they ninja protesters now?
Not good people. Every time an Olympic protester smashes a window or throws vinegar at cop, Tamara Taggart curls up into the fetal position and cries. Guessing her Believe threat level is down to 86% now. Not good.
Started day off watching luge, ski jumping and flash mob mixed group on CTV. But honestly where did they dig up the CTV broadcast team? If last night it was the old people's network, this morning it is boomers, sort of. Lisa LaFlamme looks like she has aged 40 years since she used to be on CTV Newsnet, and their set looks like someone went shopping at Nood on the cheap. It's like watching BT will EVEN uglier people. Need 100% Melissa Grelo, stat.
And then there was the CTV Olympic Morning Show. Was this really Olympian Elvis Stojko doing something with Jessi and Dan from the MTV Aftershow in ice skating outfits. Pretty sure Dan had a mooseknuckle. It was a total failure.
And NBC doesn't start until 11. Faster please.
After a good night's sleep, lets recap the Opening Ceremony. Overall I give a good solid B. It wasn't an embarrassment. It was kind of like a community theater production compared to the Beijing Games, but that worked, cause we are like a community theater kind of a place.
10. Zombie Totem polls that look like Phallic Worshiping Idols. Edgy. But man did those native dancers giver. They just kept going. And going. Performance enhancing drugs? Cut to the giant Coca Cola polar bear! Huzzah!
9. The snow bunny guides for the athlete parade. Genius move. Colby Cosh who was on fire during the ceremony, "I'm more interested in the bare-limbed girl signbearers than the flagbearers. C'mon Lloyd! What are their likes & dislikes? Their turn-offs?"
8. NBC's coverage was so vastly superior to CTV it was a no-contest. Especially NBC's relentless devotion to showing the better looking people. Lloyd Robertson is like snoring his way through this. PS: did CTV sell any ads? They are still running Believe ads this morning? Get it together.
7. There was a lot of fiddling with naughty school girls. Bravo Canada. Bravo.
6. Overweight Slam Poet with a chin strap beard at the Opening Ceremony. China must have laughed their ass off when that happened.
5. John Furlong's speech. He had like 7 years to prepare for this, and that was what he did? And he had to read it all? Colby Cosh did point out however when Rogge spoke, "The IOC boss's speech always makes for a nice, icy, cryptofascist wake-me-up from the hippy-dippy artsy-fartsy part of the ceremonies."
4. No final kick ass act. We ended with the French dude? Really? Not Nickleback? They needed to blow the roof off.
3. Anne Murray! Anne Murray! OMG! Anne Murray is there.
2. The Torch Cauldron failure to launch. Insert Viagra jokes here. Bonus points for Wayne Gretzky's look during the foul up. Don't cross the great one. EVER.
1. Wayne Gretzky riding in the back of a pickup truck with the Torch, as drunken Vancouver Hilbillies chased him around the city. It was like we were doing the Torch relay in Arkansas or something. So awesome.
I think I just witnessed the shark jumping (as if it didn't immediately happen after the first one) of flash mobs. CTV went to do a "remote" at Robson Square only to be interrupted by loud music (the theme song from the BCLC Imagine 649 Ads) and spontaneous dancing. This was for Hudson's Bay Company as all dancers were decked out with HBC Canada Olympic wear.
So when you do a flash mob for television, isn't it just a music number? Clearly, when you could clearly see the HBC rep giving thumbs up to the CTV crew after it was done.
Olympics? What? Who cares, when we have breakthrough technology in ketchup packets. This is HUGE. "New frontiers in ketchup microdelivery systems! I know I say this a lot, but we all live in amazing times." (Via Maura)
So can CTV stop running wall to wall 'Believe' ads now that the Olympics are starting. If I see Donald Sutherland in that purple scarf again, I'm going to smash my TV in. I plan to watch NBC the whole time.
Super glad the temp VANOC army got that fishing pole someone left behind at the Seabus and totally blew it up. I'm sure this is supposed to make us feel safer, but If they can't tell the difference between lost and found and bomb, how can that be? On the upside they did get to use that bomb robot. Which is pretty rad. (Globe and Mail)
Start your first day off of the Olympics with a cup of coffee and a video primer of the eye candy of 2010.
How do we sell more bras and stuff? Well, I guess we could throw the red ones up in the window. Oh, and how about we stuff a Canadian flag in the dummy's cleavage. Thanks Change.
Apu would be super happy about this, take a bunch of old donuts re-glaze 'em and sprinkled with red and white maple leafs like things. Not 19.99! Not $9.99! Just $.99 cents! Go Canada Go. Eat a donut. Oh thank heaven for 7-11.
Oh no they didn't. Yes, by all means call and have your hair cut by a real live cheeseball. Only in Kits. Well, to be fair, I could see Yaletown trying something like this.
I think it is pretty hilarious that Michael Scott called Vancouver last night on The Office if only to cancel his trip to the Olympics here. Don't worry, he paid his cancellation fee.
I know John Furlong said "I don't think it's classy" but the social medias are abuzz over the Opening Ceremony Dress Rehearsal that just finished. Reuters didn't seem to really care:
"....featuring gigantic ice-like totem poles, a light show, dancers and other performers. Bryan Adams, Nelly Furtado and Sarah McLachlan were among the performers, according to spoilers."
**SPOILERS AHEAD*****
But we had it on good gossip that the following are on deck for Friday Night:
1. Wayne Gretzky is going to be skating around the stage and having a shoot off with Mario Lemieux.
2. Prime Minister Stephen Harper and Mayor Gregor Robertson will zip lining into BC PLACE along with Ryan Reynolds and Quatchi. How awesome is that?
3. Yes, it's true band of the decade Nickelback is going to be there. They don't lower from the ceiling as reported earlier, but drive hybrid sports cars and snowmobiles through the rings into a makeshift snowbank as fireworks go off. It's insane.
4. Michael Jackson and Elvis return as a 3D characters and sing with Nelly Furtado and Bryan Adams.
5. Right after the Olympic theme song Kanye West, Celine Dion, and Taylor Swift do a duet about peace, while evil Biathlon shooters fire upon baby seals and polar bears. Kiefer Sutherland, as Jack Bauer, saves the day. Kiefer's Dad Donald narrates. This will bring the effing house down.
It's going to be INSANE. In your face CHINA.
Ugh. It's 11:15. The Olympic Torch was inside our office, and everyone spent 10 minutes holding it, trying to eat it, taking photos of it, then twittering about it. I'm sure those will be all keepsakes in 10 minutes. Or not. So here is the Airwolf intro, which is way cooler than the lametorch. Unless Steve Nash runs in here with the torch or someone equally famous, I could actually care less. You can quote me on that.
(Photo Via: Andrew)
Here's a preview of what awaits you inside the 2010 Irish House pavilion during the games (Official Website). You've been warned. It looks positively un-Irish. Bonus points for the non-Irish douche lighting and depressing atmosphere. It's kind of like an Ed Hardy pre-potato famine vision of the future. The horror. The horror. Which I guess makes some sort of sense. At least last night the cover was ONLY $5 (not the $20 of the night before), but the drinks will still burn you at $8 or $9 for imitation pints made for leprechauns.
On a side note we hear that The Irish Heather (212 Carrall) still will have Guinness on tap for $6.50 during the games, and seem 100% more Irish-y.
We can only hope that Heineken House is this awesome. Beer Lip Gloss for the win.
"Seriously. I know that everybody loves Google and all, but you know what they are really great at? Coming up with new shit that I completely do not understand! Also: making me feel old. I've watched this twice and I think I actually know less than I did before. I'm still trying to figure out Google Wave, for fuck's sake. - The Awl"
And to think they spent money advertising the one thing they don't even have to advertise on The Superbowl. And then there was this in the comments:
"Google Buzz? I'm still trying to find that Google app they advertised last Sunday that lets you impregnate a French chick."
I'm not sure I even understand this. But Radio Shack, er, The Shack, has bears and eagles catching kind of not that cool phones and being all tough and rad. On second thought it is kind of amazing. Telus should have gone from cute to awesome years ago. Too late.
So, we're counting down until the big show on Friday. What is going on inside BC Place? Here's what we know so far:
1 . Everyone has to wear white (in addition to the $1000 bucks tickets were going for today)
2. We've heard they might give everyone a flashlight/lightstick. Sounds expensive. And really annoying.
3. There will be some sort of circus performers from Montreal.
4. The beauty of BC Place is lots of area for what we hear is fake snow falling from the ceiling and paper maple leaves falling. What? No real snow.
5. Yes, it would seem that there will be Totem poles. And probably more than half the night will be aboriginal.
6. There will be a ski-jumper type-performer doing some sort of through the rings of an Olympic logo. Will they be on fire?
7. Total Beijing/Crouching Tiger rip off alert. There will be some "running" via attached wires.
8. The entire floor is has been transformed white and looks like ice. Apparently this will have projectors show the ice cracking (Global Warming nod?) and whales will appear beneath the surface. Dead polar bears will be everywhere.
9. There will be projections of northern lights and other images, sources weren't clear weather or not they were on the domed roof of the stadium or on hanging screens. Thankfully no zombies. Yet.
10. We hear there are going to be children's choirs. Is there anything worse than children singing? Well this frightening note on the CBC website: "The highlight was watching Celine Dione in 3D like at the Grammy's". 3D Celine Dion, this is worse than the Na'vi. We've been warned.
11. Sarah Mclachlan is a confirmed singer, And there is lots of people buzzing about Bryan Adams showing up. There will be a performance of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah. "Who will be the headliner? Can it please be Nickelback playing on top of BC Place as they blow something up?
12. Pretty sure they will light a torch at the end. Not sure what that is about.
At least for games time the shameless Flag Walk won't be lonely. Now it is joined with gum advertising. Gumvertising. Genius. Nope, still terrible.
Previously on The Vancouverite:
US Olympic hottie Lindsay Vonn arrived today. As did the new Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition. Lindsay is going for the gold and SI has 45 images of her. She is joined by Hannah Teter, Clair Bidez, and Lacy Schnoor.
Maybe this was just a shameless excuse to talk about Brooklyn Decker and Bar Refaeli. I guess we'll never know.
We'll keep on hunting down the only stories you'll care about for the next couple of weeks. Like, are there hotter Olympians to be seen in 2010? Other than the four in the SI Swimsuit Issue? Stay tuned. Tips or suggestions welcome.
It was worth having the Olympics just to see Premier Gordon Campbell on a zipline. It's a shame the zipline isn't open to fatties. So people of of 275 pounds can't go on it. Um, how safe is this thing? Whatever.
This just in. 1984 & 1988 Figure Skating gold medaler Katarina Witt is still kinda hot. Here she is with ancient Grandma Witt, er, whoops, Canada's 1988 sweetheart Elizabeth Manely! It was so long ago that Germany was still East Germany, and most of their "woman" were hairy-arm pitted genetically modified giants. Ahhh....Cold War love.
Megan Fox takes images of herself and people go crazy. I can only imagine the creative process on conceptualizing this ad. We've got this really lame touch screen imitation iPhone. Lets put Megan Fox in a bubble bath. "Genius!" It will go viral! Then on the set did they realize that she abnormally sized thumbs and have to get a hand model to do the touch screen stuff?
Slate's Best and worst Super Bowl Ads has a good round up and this great rational for not needing Internet on your TV. "An ad for Vizio televisions—touting their ability to display content from the Internet via special included software—shows you all the incredible Internet stuff you could be watching on your Vizio TV: dramatic gopher, the "Numa Numa" guy, the "Chocolate Rain" guy. … Wait, this is what's supposed to convince us we need the Internet on our TVs? Ancient YouTube clips? Tell me honestly: Are you excited to watch content like this on your TV? If so, please let me know, so I can decline your invitation to come over and watch TV."
Who won the game?
Photo: Dan Toulgoet
Surprise, Surprise. Mayor Gregor Robertson has a cat. Seen here snuggling with said cat on the cover of Pet Connection magazine. And he has originally named his cat, Kitty. I knew it he names pets like governs this city. Poorly. (Via Vancouver Courier)
One week until the games and the Australians in the Olympic Village (has anyone thought to stop calling it a village since it is bigger than a village and in super expensive condos?) have decided to pick a fight with the IOC by flying a massive flag out of one of their rooms.
The flag appears to be a drunk kangaroo trying to box or something. Apparently the Olympic suits don't like it. Hilarity ensues.
A Note to future PR peddlers. The hotter the fashion images you send me the more likely that they are to appear on this blog. Case in point these images from the new Hardihood woman's collection. The press release said something about playing with Tibetan Buddhist influences, but it looks to be that by Tibetan Buddhist influences they really mean super tight pants on cute girls. I'm okay with that. But what will the Lama think?
The photos are like they are shot in a fashionable part of Cormac McCarthy's The Road or something post-apocolypse or Delta, whatever. We're no Satorialist, but we know what we like.
Alex Blagg, bored by the internet of the day, asks for something, and low and behold, the Internet provides.
The internet responds swiftly with photoshop and an idea for a book deal. It's become self aware. That is all.
Clearly the fashion media people have discovered that if they send me images that feature hot rocker chicks, I will post them.
This is the 80's retro rocker look of Nixxi. They call it a cooler 1980's vibe. But unless we get Reagan back, that ship has sailed. Forgive my ignorance, but I knew there was skinny pants and whatever, but I failed to be in the know the category of slouchy tees. Who knew.
Model looks both super cute but kind of annoyed that she is a model at the same time. Like she might kick you in the junk if you tried to talk to her. I wonder if she is French? That would explain it a lot. Then again it could be because the photoshoot looks to have been done in some sort of converted old urinal or prison.
Vancouverite Jessica Lowndes back working on the set of 90210 (Via and more at Moe Jackson and Celebrity Gossip and Daily Fill) Shame about those flats. Girl needs some heels. But not bad for a Megan Fox knockoff right? Advantage Vancouver.
Previously on The Vancouverite:
A great way to ease into a Friday people:
"But I will make jokes about gasbags like Carrey and McCarthy, two cretins who can’t be content simply making us sick to our stomachs with their work – they also gotta make our kids sick with ego-driven medical advice. Now, I’m not a celebrity, but here’s my medical advice for this sort of behavior: whenever a star offers an opinion on important health matters – citing flawed studies they know a nearly comatose Larry King won’t bother checking – they should be given a vaccination of their own. It should be full of lead and shot straight up their ass. And if you disagree with me, you’re probably Arianna Huffington."- Greg Gutfeld, Big Hollywood
Seriously as much as his cameo in Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations is completely wicked, why doesn't Bill Murray have his own show. Just him doing stuff.
So is there really going to be the insane lights coming from Robson Square and another competing light show in English Bay that are going to fight over the city in an elaborate laser light show war? The lights were blazing still at 6:30 this morning, cause we are sooooo green here, we can blast lights all night.
Two light shows? Really?
Photo via: Grouse Mountain's Tweeter
As if to underscore how uncold Vancouver is going to be see local crooner and avid skirt chaser Michael Buble in a v-neck t-shirt and summer sport jacket on top of Grouse Mountain.
Photo: Ric Ernst, PNG
Honestly. How did we eff this up? We spent $10 million on a big white tent? And no media has yet to see inside because they are still working on it. Or because it is just really lame. Or both. And possibly since it won't open until February 13th. A day after the opening ceremonies. It's not like we didn't know when the games were.
Prime Minister Harper should lay the smack down on whoever in the Heritage Ministry is responsible this fail. Especially the spokeswoman Dierdra McCracken who told The Province: "We think it looks quite nice. There will be lighting effects the public hasn't seen. We want them to wait before forming their opinions."
And more likely James Moore, the Minister himself, who said this, "Sure, if we wanted to put 50 or a hundred million dollars into a pavilion, we might dazzle some architects out there, but the reality is, this is a hosting venue. It's family friendly, and I believe it's going to more than meet all the expectations that Canadians have for their pavilion."
That will be an awkward conference call after Harper gets that pull quote on his desk I'm guessing.
I guess that means I can scratch this off my list of things to see during the games too.
When I first hear that during the games there would be some sort of fun, French, temporary hangout on Granville Island I was intrigued. Now combine this disappointing menu with the 1.8km fail that is the street car experiment and I'm pretty sure I can give it a total pass.
The French Quarter is serving Vegetarian stuffed Croissants, and things like chicken or salmon skewers on rice? Sure they have beef bourguignon but they are serving it on rice! But this: Baguette sandwich with ham, salami, cheese, lettuce. That sandwich better be brie and not some lame sliced cheese or France is probably going to burn every car on Granville Island.
But don't worry the website says you can, "Share your passion for the Olympics and Canada’s athletes, and live every moment in French." Or sort of French, but not like French-French, cause that would be too icky for us Vancouverites.
PS: it's called Club Adrenaline. As if.
Apparently it snowed last night, but they are trucking the snow in from Manning Park now. Drudge linked this story under the title, "Olympic Mess." Awkward. (via Reuters)
PS: Also not awesome. Obama isn't bring his hope and change to Vancouver. On the upside we get Joe Biden, so he'll probably say something hilarious.
Of course Best Buy didn't have a Blu-Ray copy of The Hurt Locker this weekend. WTF? They did however have about 20 copies of 1990's Navy Seals on Blu-Ray. on Blu-Ray!
Previously on The Vancouverite:
Photo: Les Baszo, PNG
Can I just say that the idea that we are protecting the Olympic Games Venues with "airport style security" and people off the street without much training does not leave me feeling all that safe. Especially when it appears that the high tech security is run by people in powder blue jackets in a bunch of tents. (CBC)
PS: Unless Jack Bauer is in Richmond, this doesn't look anything like CTU. We're all doomed.
Headline of the day, so far from Gawker: "Totemic Rodent's Handlers Decree Frigid Misery Upon a Weary Nation." I mean, I guess this makes sense since Global Warming is dead and all. Which makes sense since there is no "winter" here for the Olympic Games. And it is schedule to warm up even more as we approach opening ceremonies time.
Selleck Waterfall Sandwich: Caribbean Jerk Chicken edition. I honestly don't know how we survived without this website. It's like everything was dark, is now in the light.
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Notes on the long overdue "Vodkapocalypse" - January 8, 2010
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