Finally. Arnold Schwarzenegger starring in Conan the Barbarian: The Musical. "Crom! Crush your enemies! And to hear the lamentations of their women!" See also: Total Recall: The Musical. (Via Super Punch)
This confirms three things. 1. Cats are awful and nearly always the instigators. 2. deers are actually wild animals that will beat up whatever animal they choose. And 3. Baby deers are jerks.
Look at how happy these people are on the HST blog! They are so pumped for the HST it's like crazy. Look at them! The Sun has your guide to all the fun we get to start having on Canada's birthday, the sickos. Or you can just soak up the happy vibe from the official BC HST Blog. Taxes are fun!
A pretty cool little short entirely shot and edited on the new iPhone. Well played.
Pretzel M&M's? Really? Sure why not. They have a lot versions now. Branding is awesome isn't it? Where do they go from here? What else can you put in an M&M? They have tonnes of nuts they could do, Macadamia? Hazelnuts? Anyone up for some Captain Crunch M&M's? Just me? Don't judge. Question: But do they really have nearly 4 minutes of the grumpy Pretzel Guy telling "inside" jokes on Youtube?
He even does Twitter jokes? Too bad it's just crunchy pretzel stuff in an M&M, it's not like it's an actual pretzel covered in chocolate and candy coating. It's just pretzel junk. Gross. But thanks for running the ads every 5 minutes. Awesome!
Yeah, I follow LC on my new voyeur-only Twittervision plan. So what. Could her Twitter ads be any less interesting? Probably they could be worse. But LC? Come on.
Wow, Gawker really sums up whole magazine make no money dilemma of today using Rolling Stone as the example:
While Rolling Stone can be reliably counted on to put out a number of important, groundbreaking, top-notch works of journalism (and Matt Taibbi quasi-anger-journalism) throughout the year, they will never put out enough of those stories to make the types of people who care about those stories seriously consider reading the magazine on a regular basis. That's because they have constructed themselves upon the bizarre and defunct notion that mixing solid public affairs journalism with Britney Spears covers and paeans to plastic pop music is a formula for publishing success. It isn't, any more.
It's probably even worse than that. At least they don't print on that stupid large size anymore that made it totally different. Also, can they not get Matt Taibbi in every issue? Wait. What? There isn't there an app for this problem yet Mr. Jobs?
Meanwhile The New York Times is watching some different channel. It's like magazines are the final season of Lost and for them they have gotten of the island and are on some happy sideways world. Let's see how they're keeping score on Rolling Stone:
"While its single copy sales for the first three months of 2010 were down slightly from 2009, it has attracted enormous attention for its political coverage and consistently draws a young readership, with an average age of 30.Over all, the biweekly magazine’s circulation has grown to about 1.5 million copies an issue from about 1.4 million in 2008."
Two media takes on one of their own, I think. It's hard to tell. And it doesn't really impact us in Vancouver because we have one terrible magazine anyway (oh, and Vancouver View doesn't count as a magazine folks).
UPDATE: Over at Time magazine's website, they are searching for King Tut's Penis. Seriously. Groundbreaking journalism.
You know, some days there are moments when you question whether you can ever come up with something as awesome as this business plan. I mean really, I surrender: Pet Monkey Spongebath Tuesdays. Or Monday. Whatever.
Finally, the answers to all our questions! Why do we put stupid things, photos, and updates on Facebook? Because it's cool, or something. Or maybe not. Could be just a movie about an awkward nerd who isn't Michael Cera for a change. I mean it is a David Fincher film, so maybe it can be good.
Well, at least England is still funny. Have they burned down parliament for this yet? Monty Python covers the Greece vs Germany game.
Australian Prime Minister gets ousted by his own Cabinet. Ikea takes the opportunity to sell some cabinets. Ad comedy ensues. (Photo: Littleladylove)
Was at Bard on the Beach's presentation of Much Ado About Nothing last night. Just before the play kicked off the Director of Operations said there was a very special guest. Turns out it was the Lt. Governor of British Columbia, Steven L. Point. Who?
Protocol says the audience stands to welcome him, and he is played in with bag pipes and one RCMP guard as everyone stands. After lots of blanc stares and who is it, we seated, the theater then announced, "And now 'Much Ado About Nothing.'" After a beat the audience killed themselves laughing. The Lt. Governor became the unintentionally hilarious punchline. At least he was a good sport about it.
Seems like a pretty great job. Bag pipes, guard, fancy car, and free tickets. How do I get this?
For Fast Company's most creative person of the year, you'd think they would start to wear more sensible shoes in the airport. Honestly can you even imagine being on a plane with Gaga? Worst. Flight. Ever. What an idiot.
Three of my favourite things: Pellegrino. Meatballs. Giadia De Laurentiis. Damn you New York. I suppose if any of this could be wrapped in bacon or deep fried this could improve a bit. That is all.
Social Media is awesome. Even better is the new math based on how awesome it is. Not only do you have the economy of experts, now people are crunching the numbers to justify how much money they are spending on it and how much their followers and fans are really worth.
Think of Pepsi who are dropping serious cash on their social media charity stunt, Refresh Everything. Just listen to the Ad Contrarian:
"So far Pepsi has given away 5 mil (not counting the millions they've spent on promoting this thing) divided by 24,000 comes to about $208 a fan. So their Twitter fans are costing them about $208 a pop. At that rate, I could sell them my 3,000 Twitter followers and make a nice cool $600k on the deal. By the way, my Twitter followers cost me less than $208 each. They cost me nothing on a stick."
This is bad, but this seems so much worse:
"Lindsay Lohan really likes Twitter. And people seem to like her Tweets! So she has capitalized on her talents and, for a change, hasn't screwed it up. It appears that she's running ads on her Twitter account. For $10,000?" (Via Gawker)
Stunning. $10,000! If Lohan can figure it out, something must be seriously wrong. This is like BP's Tony Hayward kind of crazy, mixed up with a dose of Gen. McChrystal's PR team. Topsy Turvy, even.
Okay, fine. The above video about the most popular cat on Twitter seals the deal. It's shark jumping time people.
UDPATE: I've been clean and free of Twittering for 183 days now.
Sorry for the poor Youtube quality here friends, it had to be done. But a lot of people lately have been talking about going back into time and taking laptops, and ipods, and phones to get rich. Screw that. It's no original show, but I would go back in time to ensure that we could live in a world where we got to see Gary Busey in a Hawaii Five 0 remake in the late nineties.
We could have been living in a glory age of Hawaii Five 0 - of Seattle Five 0, LA Five 0, New York Five 0, and Miami Five 0. We could be living in a Gary Busey world. But we are not. We didn't even get to see the pilot. Sadly we are getting another shot at a new Hawaii Five 0 this fall. At least this one has Grace Park. And Jin from Lost.
Pretty sure my new favorite reality TV moment is during the awful 2nd season of True Beauty, where contestants are finally introduced to host/judge Vanessa Minnillo, who they never get to see until they are eliminated. There is a big dramatic entrance, and then you can totally tell they are all thinking the same thing: "Who the hell is this girl?" It's hilarious, because it's supposed to be a reveal, but nobody has any idea who she is. Instant. Classic.
As a side note, I love that 3,135 people have "liked" the homepage of the show. Summer TV is always awesome isn't. Look what I've become!
Nope, it's not "that guy" with the iPad next to you at the board meeting. Surprise, it's Apple! Their new creepy privacy policy update coming at you to stalk your every move. (Via Gawker & LA Times)
"To provide location-based services on Apple products, Apple and our partners and licensees may collect, use, and share precise location data, including the real-time geographic location of your Apple computer or device. This location data is collected anonymously in a form that does not personally identify you and is used by Apple and our partners and licensees to provide and improve location-based products and services. For example, we may share geographic location with application providers when you opt in to their location services.Some location-based services offered by Apple, such as the MobileMe “Find My iPhone” feature, require your personal information for the feature to work."
Nope. Nothing to see here folks. Just a little big brother action. Wait, what? But I thought Apple was the little guy. Oh, wait, that was 26 years ago. Today, it's an all out race between Google, Apple, and Facebook to see who can be the creepiest company ever. Well, race for 2nd place anyway. BP pretty much has 1st locked up right now. But that will be over soon enough.
Can I please get a Vortex Cannon for Christmas? Puh-leaze? A 200-mile per hour air cloud. Sweet. I want this more than an iPad. (via Kottke)
I saw this Friends clip at a conference last week. so awkward. Remember Friends? I mean have you watched reruns of this show on TVtropolis lately? Try watching this mess of a show without the laugh tracks. It's like watching The Hills without all the awkward pauses. Stunning. On a side note, don't the 90's look amazing?
I love rules, well mostly. This is the Avis Advertising philosophy from back in the Bernback day. #4 and #5 are absolutely gobsmackingly brilliant. (via Michael Lebowitz)
Oh to be an advertising agency in Russia. Lets shoot a 2-minute commercial for a low cost airline using nothing but future mail order brides in bikini's. Great! This actually makes sense because there is only young people in Russia, it's like one giant frat party with nothing but Britney Spears clones circa 2000 walking around Stalin's old haunts. I smell a drinking game. (via AdFreak)
Let me get this straight. I can get the standard def ER Season 1 in the iTunes store for $19.99, or I could get the HD version for $59.99? Triple the price? Are you serious iTunes? Do you even need ER from 1994 in HD?
Oh, and "ha ha ha" on grouping this limited time under $20 season with Two and a Half Men, Season 1. You are just insulting me now. It's cruel.
In hindsight, it must have been so obvious to the world that we were going to beat the USSR in the Cold War. I mean our car ads were ridiculous, but for the love of all that is holy, at least our models weren't riding around on ostriches. This is clearly what Mother Russia believed the French were really doing all the time after they exploited the workers and bought toilet paper. Those capitalist pigs, riding around on their pet ostriches! A whole treasure trove of Russian ugly car ads at English Russia.
Yes, lets take my new $700 iPad and place it with in a 1984 Macintosh computer. Look it's a stand! But wait, was the whole revolutionary thing about these is that they were thin? And you can hold in your lap? This wasn't in the Apple video either. (Via Gizmodo)
Ah, slow news days. Nice to see 24 Hours get to the bottom of the 2010 BC Lions cheerleaders and how hard it must be to be one. Yes, it's a multimedia news expose of the Felions minus the expose part. Or anything interesting. Just cheerleaders in Canucks t-shirts (awkward?).
Yes 24 Hours, this is the kind of stuff, if done 1000x better could make you worth reading. It's not like they need to sell papers, but lets be clear, the New York Post, they are not. That takes a very special talent. And they have a long way to go before reaching this level of tabloid awesome.
Look, I didn't even think Paraguay was a real country until yesterday. Seriously. But, how can you not love this country after seeing their passionate World Cup fans like this young patriotic lass? (via Deadspin) But wait, there's more. The real shame of sporting events like this is that you actually hear people in offices, here in Vancouver, say things like. "Well, there's a big Cameroon/Japan match today. Yeah, totally, That should be good." Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.
No wonder soccer has come out of the closet. Meanwhile Jon Stewart weighs in on all things World Cup.
So remember, if that office poseur comes in talking about the Brazil-North Korea match-up today saying stupid things like, "these commie David Beckhams are going to get smoked today," you have my full permission to slap them in the face without receiving any red cards.
You know, I was just thinking about being a hamburger headed, ping pong playing, karate chopping cartoon. That's so weird.
Deep inside BP HQ, they spill their morning coffeee. Hilarity ensues.
This is the way to start a Monday. George Washington going into battle in a Dodge Charger with an American Flag. Yeah he did. The end voice over is hilarious. I could watch a whole TV show about revolutionary America armed with modern muscle cars to drive the British away. (Too soon after that World Cup tie?) That would be wickedly awesome.
Being the writer on Apple's new products must be super fun. You just crank out ridiculous statements for every new product launch. For the iPad it was "a magical and revolutionary product" and now for iPhone4 it is "This changes everything. again." Amazing. Retina display? Really? I think they've jumped the smug shark. Completely obnoxious.
Can't wait to start editing my videos while I'm video chatting with people, it's gonna be soooo awesome.
Nice to see that our Mayor has gotten on the sauce early this Friday. Surely he has, like city business to handle?
Vice interviews the insane totalitarian Buddhist master who beat Sim City 3000 perpetuating an oppressive regime for over 50,000 years. I mean it sounds like it could make Vancouver's no-fun city reputation laughable:
"Technically, no one is leaving or coming into the city. Population growth is stagnant. Sims don’t need to travel long distances, because their workplace is just within walking distance. In fact they do not even need to leave their own block. Wherever they go it’s like going to the same place."
Awkward. Watching the video will scare the absolute crap out of you. This logic makes idiots like Kim Jung iL look amateurish in their mastery of control and power. Obama could totally beat him I'm sure.
Wow. Ken Griffey Jr. retires at 40 tonight, with 630 home runs, batting .184 this year. It's a little sad that he didn't have that final swan song that so many greats have - that one final summer of excellence before retiring off into the sunset. That has to suck since his Dad went out with a bang, as Junior had to settle for 5th all time on the Home Run list. I guess that is cool too.
Not sure what is more crazy:
A. Ken Griffey Jr is 40-years old right now (the hell you say)
B. His Upper Deck rookie baseball card came out in 1989 (21 years ago)
Can we all jut agree that this Burger King ad for their new ribs is kind of the most amazing thing ever? Anyone who doubts the sheer power and ingenuity of the United States of America should just kneel before them now. This is innovation people! (Via Best Week Ever)
This world record by French crazy person Taïg Khris Saut, who jumped from the first floor of the Eiffel Tower (That's 40 meters up to you and me) this past weekend. PS: The chugging of Red Bull just prior to the jump is a nice touch. Well played sponsor dudes. Insane.
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