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It's Friday July the 16 around 8:27AM and

Vancouver Aquarium Goes SpongeBob?

Absolutely loving the fact that the Vancouver Aquarium is advertising a sponge who lives in a pineapple under the sea instead of, you know, real sea life or whatever. For the best given this kind of thing. But can you imagine how awful the aquarium will be in the mornings this summer?

It's Thursday July the 15 around 3:52PM and

The Social Network Trailer

Love the use of a cover of RadioHead's Creep for the new Facebook movie, The Social Network is perfect. Like.

It's Wednesday July the 14 around 7:26AM and

Lauren Conrad Has Written 6 Books

Wow, so our banal cultural landmark, The Hills, lamely bowed out last night - I mean, no Spencer and Heidi in the Finale? What were they thinking? They must be in serious Lohan territory if they aren't being used for that kind of spectacular media frenzy. My bad, to be fair Spencer did try to sneak in dressed as an old man. Although the last shot of Brody Jenner watching Kristin Cavallarri leave and then the backdrop is pull up and the camera pulls out to reveal him on a studio lot was pretty funny - what reality? Finally seemed to be having fun saying so. Love that they owned its scripted-ness.

But what really floored me was during the post-game show and interview with "the girl who started it all." It seems that Lauren Conrad has written 6 goddamn books. SIX! 5 of them are Novels. In hardcover and everything. This is past her three novel deal she first signed. incredible. Unbelievable. Does Mel Gibson know about this? He'd probably make a call if he did.

Sigh.

It's Tuesday July the 13 around 5:58PM and

Two Dudes Discuss 7-11's new coffee flavour

INT OFFICE DAY.

DUDE 1: Heya, you going for a coffee? Can you go get me one?

DUDE 2: Sure, what kind?

DUDE 1: Well, can you bring me back one of them Banana Split Cappuccinos everyone's talking about?

DUDE 2: A bananacinno? What are you, nuts?

DUDE 1: No man, for real, this is the next big thing. Even the WWE is in on promoting this. Gonna be huge. HUGE.

DUDE 2: Where do you even find one?

DUDE 1: Get with the program. 7-11. Right next to the Blood Orange Cocoa. Duh.

DUDE 2: Dude, you're so gross.

THE END.

It's Tuesday July the 13 around 8:20AM and

Michael Corleone Really Loves Cofee

Al Pacino takes time from yelling or whatever on screen to talk about how much he likes coffee to the people of Australia. Guess they made him an offer he couldn't refuse? Too much? (via Ad Rants)

It's Tuesday July the 13 around 8:02AM and

Mayor Gregor Robertson Discovers the political gaffe

Nice to see Mayor Gregor Robertson finally exposed as the foul mouthed idiotarian that we suspected him to be all along.

Yes, Mr. Robertson we have bigger things to worry about. Like our chickens in our backyards, screwing up a proper street food program, turning every road into a biking lane, and the blessed rebranding of Vancouver as Green City.

It's Tuesday July the 13 around 7:48AM and

The Boss, George Steinbrenner, Dead at 80

Respect. George Steinbrenner, dead at 80. The man turns an $8.8 million investment into a $1.6 billion virtual ATM machine of money. Even if they are the dreaded Yankees. He's right owning the Yankees is a bit like owning the Mona Lisa. It's epic. And they don't make characters like this guy anymore, sadly. Only Larry David could play him with any justice.

Update: "Steinbrenner just offered Babe Ruth a $140 million dollar contract, I keep telling him US dollars don't work up here." - Jesus.

It's Monday July the 12 around 8:18AM and

Your Weekly Apphole: Cheesy new iPhone 4 Ads!

Holy cow. And you thought the "I'm a Mac" ads were annoying. Just wait. These new iPhone 4 ads are like a fine aged stinky cheese. I can only imagine how these are going to smell by August. The worst. (See more at Fast Company)

It's Monday July the 12 around 8:10AM and

Old Spice Giving Mustache Rides On a Boat

It's Monday. Of course it's time for a manly mustache surprise Old Spice commercial. Why not.

It's Thursday July the 8 around 9:08PM and

Lebron is Jessica Alba With a Boob Job

Favorite quote about Lebron James going to Miam via Gregg Doyel at CBS Sports:

"When LeBron James wins the 2011 NBA title with the Miami Heat, it'll be like a breast augmentation for Jessica Biel. Sure, she'd be even sexier with bigger boobs. I guess. But it wouldn't be sincere. She'd no longer be real."

I mean, really.

It's Monday July the 5 around 8:47PM and

Inception (Ads) Rule

Love these reality bending building sized ads for Inception. I mean it's no War Pigs, but this film is the only thing worth seeing this summer. "In general, I’d say there should be more 3D movie posters and less 3D movies. My only criticism: if you’re going to peel off the outside of a building, why no naked lady in the shower? said Film Drunk. How can I top that?

It's Monday July the 5 around 9:13AM and

We Made it Back to the Future Or Something

This will surely make you feel half dead. Apparently today is the day Doc Brown sets the DeLorean's computer to go to. July 5, 2010 in Back to the Future. Conan O'Brien also tweets this occasion. Hilarity ensues, since this was all a hoax. 25 years, yes, but not today sadly. And I still don't have my damn hoverboard. 2010 is total crap, well, except for the scooping ketchup.

It's Monday July the 5 around 8:53AM and

Things we need: Gourmet Scooping Ketchup

Forget the iPhone 4G and iPad, we have fancy scooping ketchup on the market to eat damn it! Sir Kensington's Gourmet Scooping Ketchup was created as the new standard in "an all-natural ketchup that is too exquisite to be squeezed from a plastic bottle." This is the innovation the west needs to stay on top of total world domination. (Via Lovely Package)

It's Friday July the 2 around 1:31PM and

Let Stanley Park be Stanley Park

Honestly, are there not better things for people to do that go around suggesting we give ridiculous names to things? The Squamish First Nations want to us rename Stanley Park, Xwayxway, apparently pronounced kwhy-kway, which sounds like we just elected Tim Burton, mayor.

The hell you say? This is what we are talking about in 2010? Like, really? The argument goes that we've already done this for other landmarks (Queen Charlotte Islands), so we should for this too. But the truth is nobody cared or even knew where that was anyway, this is an actual place that people you know, actually use. Granted, the idea isn't as bad as the whole let us hunt bald eagles one, but it is pretty close.

And if we are going to change the name, we should be getting some cold hard cash and selling it off to a company willing to pay, big time.

No. on second thought, can we just stop with this BS?

It's Friday July the 2 around 10:01AM and

Julia Stiles Sells Stoli Vodka

This makes no sense. But thank god Julia Stiles is still around. Making Stoli vodka ads, with herself apparently. Odd. They totally should get that Russian spy girl for these ads.

It's Friday July the 2 around 9:52AM and

Waffles, Is there anything they can't do?

Ever wonder if you can stuff waffles with awesome things? Wonder no longer. Slate investigates how waffles stuffed with bacon, chicken fingers, mini-burgers, or peanut butter cups stand up to the old waffle iron. What else would you stuff them with? I'm thinking sausages and cheese?

It's Friday July the 2 around 9:06AM and

Twitter, We Have a Problem

Um, is it just me, or does the fact that your website (aka your business) goes down if Brazil loses a soccer match you might have a business problem? I bet there is a few Brazilian social media douchebags that are probably going mental right now because they can't tweet. #doublefail