For Fast Company's most creative person of the year, you'd think they would start to wear more sensible shoes in the airport. Honestly can you even imagine being on a plane with Gaga? Worst. Flight. Ever. What an idiot.
Photo Credit: KevinLim953
Conan O'Brien rocked the Orpheum tonight even as it smelled of sweat socks of unemployed white people. Needed Frebreeze, big time.
Best of the night:
1. The self gratifying panda. Take that NBC. UPDATE: Reader Kevin scolds my wildly mis-quoted and inaccurate post and corrects me on this. It's the self satisfying panda. My bad.
2. The Andy Richter live commercials for Japadog and The Penthouse - especially it's new tagline, "when you're more creeping than horny."
3. Triumph and his dubbed insults.
4. Just the right amount of Chuck Norris in Walker Texas Ranger clips
5. Just the right amount of Conrad Bain
references.
It was very fun. There could have been way more comedy bits than music. And I was surprised that there was no live interview of someone. I half expected a couch. Curious how much new material they add as they go along. The opening act Reggie Watts was completely insane.
Sometimes it is good to be reminded of the power of the Internet. A two-year old and perfectly edited video of Kuato singing Chocolate Rain is one of those times. Posting will now return to it's regularly scheduled half-assedness.
We are at the half day mark of Hanukkah. Happy days my Jewish friends. I want two things right this second.
1. This Menorah.
2. A lot of latkes. Preferably any like these. Yum.
I SO want to be about a 6-pack in on this stuff right about now. Steven Seagal is such a genius. When is Tarantino going to turn this guy's career around? It's like seeing the future redemption of Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler all over again. If Travolta can be redeemed after Look Who's Talking anything is possible. (via Graham)
Suicide Blonde finds this bit of amazing: "‘Passive Aggressive Anger Release Machine’ is an interactive sculpture by Yarisal and Kublitz. Experience the most satisfying feeling when a piece of china breaks into million pieces."
I could use one of these around the home and office.
This is the Hotel Continental. I loved Saigon, and at the time, this was a pretty amazing place to spend a few days. This hotel had massive rooms with alot of wood furniture, and mine was just above the C in the sign. The funny thing about this photos is that it shows the complete lack of 100's of scooters that normally would be flying by. I would spend a few days in this hotel and city anytime.
I love going to the Louvre, but I always save time to hit the Musée d'Orsay. It's a stunning building, and great use of an old train station.
Sure, there is the Arc de Triomphe. It is quite fantastic and all that. But closer to the Louvre, there is another one, the Arc de Triomphe du Carrousel. It's another Napolean victory arch, you know, but smaller. This was taken on our trip in May of 2008.
Cafe De Flore, on a single block on St. Germain joins Les Deux Magots as two classic cafes in Paris. Sure they are probably packed, even with tourists sometimes, and certainly not the cheapest place, but the people watching at both are so good. This photo is from 2006, and also hangs in my bedroom, although this has been faux tiltshifted which actually makes up for my awful photography skills.
Stop the presses. If you wanted a huge marketing campaign right now, hire Mickey Rourke, get him to do your beer commercial, viola. Move product. Repeat. This is a free one Stella, next time you pay. PS: The outfit is AWESOME and who is that in blue?
Motivational posters starring the incomparable Hunter S. Thompson are awesome. Via SloshSpot.
Three things to totally love about about this:
1. Love that there are Gummy Army Men (Via Super Punch).
2. Almost as fun as my Gummy Life Saver Book that Santa gave me, and I already downed.
3. You can get that at Amazon.com. Candy at Amazon, that rules. Enough said.
Ever since I listened to Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier's Christmas Smodcast over the holidays and they talked for like 40 minutes about Conan The Barbarian, I can't shake this scene of Conan sharing what he thinks is best in life out of my head. Enjoy that.
Blogging is a tough racket. Complete disclosure: yes, clearly that has been a lackluster amount of posting the past six weeks. I could make up a lot of excuses, in fact earlier today I briefly flirted with the notion of claiming that I was on strike with the rest of the writers. Then I thought about running re-runs of old content, but I'm pretty sure it would lead to some sort of argument with the SEO people I know. And worse, seeing Stephen Colbert banner ads today claiming he invented the concept of the "Me-Run". Damn you Colbert! Damn you!
I thought about saying something about my soul/heart being replaced with a peanut butter sandwich, but who wants to hear that from a god damned blogger. That would hurt me more than you I'm pretty sure. I don't suppose "real work" would be acceptable to you either? And if that didn't work, i doubt "my dog ate my blogs" would work. Although I did almost try to pull the SAD card.
So, excuses are over, for today at least. There may not be new episodes of The Office, but here, at The Vancouverite, the blogging returns. Writer's strike be damned!*. I'm pretty sure the 12 of you sending me angry emails every week about how lazy I am will be happy for this breaking news story. I can't promise that the content will be better than the above video, but you knew that already...
*Unless this prevents me from joining the WGA at some point in the future, then this is all part of your imagination after you had the blue pill. That is all.
Yes, long time no post. I have been stewing in the guilt.
Anyways, this was last night's episode. I scoured the web to find a clip of Peter dancing to Axel F but because those douchebags at Fox have shutdown all decent clips on youtube, I had to go to some shady website to get my fix.
Global warming is bad right? And it's especially bad for the poor little animals who have no natural defence against man's cruel march forward, isn't it? Well, Adrants thinks it might not be, and this spot for Virgin Trains in the UK is why. Please don't watch unless you're prepared for animals in compromising situations... And by animals I mean humans in bunny costumes. So fun.
Skittles are great right? They come in lots of pretty colours and they taste like all the flavours of the rainbow. So you would think the point wouldn't be debatable, but I dare you to ask the guy in this *fantastic* ad how he feels about Skittles:
Skittles are clearly on a roll with their advertising, as some of the absolutely adorable clips on this website also prove. Bravo Skittles. You have won my heart and my tastebuds.
Take 5 minutes out of your day...flight of the conchords
And watch out for The New Misadventures of Luke's Stomach, coming soon to a website near you...probably this one as I can't afford my own...
I am sitting in a pool of my own filth having repeatedly watched this over and over. Luckily I am in a satellite office today and not sitting in my own chair.
Shia La Beef is going to be big time one day so long as he keeps doing wacko stuff like this.
I spent a sweet Sunday afternoon at the Aquarium last week. I was thinking it's actually pretty calm in here, which is odd seeing as that it was the first nice day in Vancouver in weeks. We saw the sharks, we saw the cramped Amazonian monster fish, the giant squid and then the jelly fish. There was like 20 people in there, it was awesome.
We stroll outside and saw the other 2,000 visitors that day all stuffed around the Otter pool. Otters are not cool, Dolphins and Sharks are cool - Otters are big rats... The reason for everyone jumping on the Bandwagon is that agonizing video of the two otters holding hands filmed in that same pool. It's been viewed by millions of people. All of a sudden the Aquarium's Otter pool is the place to be... if you wear Go Go Diego Shoes.
Here is the clip downsized so as not to cheer you up to much. Also make sure you turn the volume off so you don't puke. Anyways, go to the Aquarium and go see the real animals. Otters are like big rats and you sure as hell wouldn't care if two rats were holding hands. But go now while the crowd is glued to the snozzberry covered glass surrounding the sea rats. Then you can take in the sheer awesomeness that is a black tip reef sharks or a giant squid sucking down a goat.
In a related story, attempting to cash in on the animals gone loco craze, the Vancouver ZOO has gone ahead as planned and stapled a baby hippo to Hazina's back. Hazina's keepers are concerned as the large mammal has a hard time falling asleep if she isn't being spooned.
I am counting on this being a ploy and they telling us all that Hiro bent time or something and the show will be on next Monday with a new piece. Otherwise I am stuck with old episodes of Toopie and Binoo and those cheeky Backyardigans. I might be bored as Shit, but at least junior won't be.
or we watch this over and over:
Who knew that eating a curry and good music went so well together? I was almost distracted by the food and nearly missed catching this songstress' performance on the Brit Awards a couple of weeks ago. More than a little bit of fun and full of soul...
Died 15 years ago today. I was a young pork chop when he was alive and well and didn't know who the hell he is. Now I am the whole pig and I am a raving fan.
At http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Bill_Hicks you can find gems like:
- A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. You think when Jesus comes back, he ever wants to see a fucking cross? Kind of like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on, you know.
Just had a baby, or I guess my wife did, I was fishing. Anyways been busy. I will try and write something that makes sense shortly.
But this just was sent to me from a cohort. It's intense. My dead grandmother could have kicked the shit out of this weaselly store owner:
I think it's pretty apparent that there are some big fans of Heroes and 24 over here at The Vancouverite. It's probably because these are two of the best shows currently on television, which makes it no suprise that Monday has now surpassed Thursday at the greatest night of TV during the week. Remember when Survivor was fresh and new? Or Must-See-TV? I thought not - those days are so far behind us that we should all bow down to the gods Bauer and Hiro. They're my two picks for the icons of the new Monday regime. And if you're techno-deficient like me and don't even own a VCR, Global is being a good friend and staggering the two shows so that even us 1960s throwbacks can experience all the love.
I would like to thank Fox, NBC and the Asper family for making this all possible.
Set your PVRs people! Jack's back, and all signs point to amazing for the sixth day of 24. I've heard rumours that the first four hours are incredible, but I guess we'll all know for sure in a little more than 48 hours... Seriously, do not miss this show; the four hour, two night premiere begins Sunday at 8 pm on Fox.
How much more do I loathe the day job's blackberry now? Blah! Thanks Steve Jobs, jerk. The new iPhone.
I went to see Casino Royale this weekend with some guy I met when I was a ceramic technician at the Keg. He touched my bum and it's been good times ever since.
I like Chris Cornell and he did the theme song for this new Bond film. Here it is. I think it's the best yet, or at least of this generation's Bond flicks. And because I can't get Daniel Craig out of my mind, this has been playing all day long on my compootor. BTW the movie totally rocked despite not having nudity.
If I hadn't waited until this day to buy gifts or waited until today to plop junior on Santa's lap at the mall, I would write more. Luckily there is always time for YouTube clips.
BTW this has got me so pumped with yuletide awesomeness, late tonight I plan on using a brand new million candle led flashlight to hunt a baby dear so I can use it's head as a candle holder for dinner tomorrow. It's a family tradition, so it's okay.
My brain says it's going to suck. My heart tells me it will be pure awesomeness. My pee pee tells me there is no nudity so let's wait for DVD.
Here's a you tube copy in crappy quality:
And here is the link to a premium but small screen copy on Yahoo: http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/transformers.html
My brain says it's going to suck. My heart tells me it will be pure awesomeness. My pee pee tells me there is no nudity so let's wait for DVD.
Here's a you tube copy in crappy quality:
And here is the link to a premium but small screen copy on Yahoo: http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/transformers.html
Featuring the classic tale of good girl by day and teen pop sensation by night, this show is so full of fluff and ridiculousness that it actually bolts straight across that line that separates the bad from the fabulously kitschy. Not that Hannah Montana is a show for everyone - if you're not prepared to learn a valuable moral lesson you might as well stay far, far away. But if you're interested in checking out the next Hilary Duff (seriously, folks, she's going to be dating Joel Madden as soon as Nicole Ritchie is done with him), Hannah Montana is where it's at. And if you have the Disney Channel, you can watch it like eight times a day. This is exactly why god invented PVR.
Thanks to Jackson's earlier post with the Opera Big Foot Unicorn thing, I found this gem. This is pee inducing awesomeness with whipped topping and a brownie bit sprinkle. I don't know who Spike Feresten is but he is fantastic.
Here is our list from Number 15 to Number 1. No explanations, just an MP3 from each album. Listen to them, they should explain everything.
15) Tokyo Police Club - A Lesson In Crime (Cheer It On)
14) Cat Power - The Greatest (Willie)
13) Midlake - The Trials Of VanOccupanther (Roscoe)
12) Malajube - Trompe-L'Oeil (Montreal-40ºC)
11) Peter, Bjorn & John - Writers Block (Amsterdam)
10) Pheonix - It's Never Been Like That (Consolation Prizes)
09) Neko Case - Fox Confessor Brings The Flood (Maybe Sparrow)
08) The Dears - Gang Of Losers (You And I Are A Gang Of Losers)
07) Band Of Horses - Everything All The Time (The Great Salt Lake)
06) TV On The Radio - Return To Cookie Mountain (Province)
05) Candy Bars - On Cutting Ti-Gers.. (The Flood In Your Old Town)
04) Beirut - Gulag Orkestar (Brandenburg)
03) Joanna Newsom - Ys (Emily)
02) Destroyer - Destroyer's Rubies (European Oils)
01) The Most Serene Republic - Phages (Jazz Ordinaire)
I always suspected Barney was nuts.
Like it or not this is actually pretty cool.
Please tell me that someone else remembers this *amazing* anti-drug PSA. Because of this ad I have always wanted to buy drugs from the underside of a garbage can lid while dancing around in leg warmers. This explains so much of who I am today. Wow.
That was me 3 days ago.
If I am missing something please comment. If it works brilliant for you, which I suspect it does, tell me where to go. It's driving me bonkers. Maybe it's just not compatible with my copy of Tony Gee's Anti Virus: "187'em virus"
*UPDATE*
Issues I am experiencing:
- Takes approx 30 seconds to open IE. My computer can kick your computers ass so it's not a hardware thing.
- Took me an hour to write this rant. I press a letter on the keyboard, it takes 2 seconds to show up. I could write a whole line and then it slowly comes up in front of me letter by letter.
- When I try to stream porn from a site it is choppy if it even shows up, IF I can even log in.
- Fire fox works like a charm as does everything else when I have IE closed.
I will uninstall it when I get home this evening. Might give it a go again if I can find something on the boards.
You proceed to YouTube and scour for good times captured on film. Then it looks like your site has substance but in fact it doesn't, it just has writers that work full time.
A favorite of mine, not really the greatest movie or even any good. The opening 5 minutes, or 5 minutes and 43 seconds to be exact, is amazing.
News Radio was one of the greatest shows on TV ever. Though House made me pee myself yesterday( big fat stubborn baby man reminded me of well....me ). I am disturbed Comdy Central has not been running past shows on a daily basis.
Can you imagine how amazing the world would be though if Phil Hartman was still alive and his wife had accidentally killed Andy Dick?
Even though Marco Materazzi may have been uttering schoolyard taunts right before he was head-butted by Zinedine Zidane in the World Cup, it's nice to know that when an endorsement deal is on the line, he's ready to take it like a man. Nike's newest ad featuring the disgraced footballer is quite a fun little tongue in cheek reference to the chest whomping he took from ZZ. That said, ZZ strikes me as a pretty angry fellow, so Materazzi's probably better off taking his chances with the wrecking ball.
Because I'm hooked on this, you must have to be too.
Fall in love with Banana Phone (aka Badgerphone).
Sorry. It's catchy.
I am pretty well known in Taco circles. Back in 1998 I was on a road to eating double digit tacos in one sitting. I had just finished number 10 and wanted more and even though I was now blind I had the 11th put together anyways. Since I couldn't quite get a visual on it or chew anymore, I had it juiced. I drank it. Oh yeah I drank it hard.
In Today's Province is the riveting story of how one third rate conglomerate is trying to bully the little guy. This story is only going to deal bad press to Taco Time for picking on a local shop. I can understand trying to protect a slogan like "Taco Time, where the tacos are so god damn fantastic!". But by taking the word Taco and slapping it on the day of the week it sounds best with shouldn't be trademarked. Newsflash Taco Time, it hasn't been working for you at all. What might work is mopping your disgusting floors or make a Taco that tastes half decent. Oh and Taco Time perhaps you check out what happens when you google Taco Tuesdays..
And to Casa de Amigos, maybe do "Taco Chewsday" or even better and at no charge, "Casa de Amigos, where the tacos are so god damn fantastic!". .
I haven't filed my taxes in 5 years because I didn't know how. I lost a T4 way back when and was just too lazy to start the ball rolling and get my ass to HR Block. Well I did today and that was painful. Not only do I owe another $3K to "The Man", because the 31K paid over 5 years already wasn't quite enough, I had to pay $473 for 5 years worth of frickin filing. The highlight of the 3 hours though was when he showed me how much I owed him for his services and that it was only 6% GST and not 7%. I went directly to McDonald's and splurged on a diet coke and double cheeseburger with my new savings. While the war of diet pop and a soggy double burger battled each other for arterial supremacy, I started to calm down. When I got home I took some sweet medication to further calm my nerves.
Maybe the Govt should have a super simple form for the masses. The new ONET4 form where you don't need all that silly confusing shit. One line for income, one line for CPP, a line for tax paid and a line for EI. Add this and these and divide by that and include a check thank you for everything you pawn.
Welcome to another Friday afternoon clip show of the best and worst, and since it's August, and it's Friday you're all probably on patio getting drunk already. So grab some gris from the ice bucket, cut a slice of triple cream brie, and roll the clips, Chico:
HOT
1. "Snakes on a Motherfucking Plane" damn it! As if you didn't need another reason, beyond it was filmed here, here's one of the first reviews: ""Naughty by nature or perhaps more by design, these snakes don't just dart out of toilets; they also slide up bare legs and under dresses, moving in and out of more bodily orifices than the adult-film star Ron Jeremy did in his prime." Vancouverite Weekend Box office projection guess: $42 million. Put your guess in the comments. [Via Gawker]
2. Elvis. And here's to our own Luke for spending three days passing his 42.3 pound Elvis tribute meat meal! Congrats. And no, Luke they don't have BBQ here. Can you believe that? Savages.
3. Vancouver Craigslist. The lazy person's blog.
4. Chill Winston. You heard it here first. Smarter than Cactus Club served with a Side Salad. Yum.
5. Insite. Valuable lessons friends. Kate Moss can do cocaine and become bigger than ever. Tax funded needle candy injection sites can save us money. Who knew. Imagine if we had 5 Insites! Emmmmmersssoooooooooon!
COLD
1. Gordon Campbell's mini-Cabinet Shuffle. Should have done it on Friday Gordo, when nobdoy would have cared. Michael Smyth and Vaughn Palmer were still working and mocked your silly little shuffle of dead wood.
2. Flugtag. And come to think of it, Redbull too. That's so over.
3. Flugtag Shout outs. We're looking at you 24 Hours. Your shameless cover destroys your early week crack covers. And putting this on the cover instead of half-naked angry vegans in body paint is just dumb. If your paper wasn't free I would ask if you were trying to not sell them.
4. Jessica Alba. Surprise, Surprise. She's still a bitch apparently. Maybe she can go Flugtag herself? (Last Week's #1 Cold Winner drops 4 spots.)
5. Sanafir. Thanks for concentrating all the douchebags in one spot on Granville street, jerks. Oh wait, we already have Skybar. Still colder than Mel Gibson. Ouch.
Honarable Mention Coldy: David Pratt. See you at Sanafir, bud.
Fall premieres.. ahhh... how long I have waited. While I will admit that I find Big Brother and some of the other summer shows strangely compelling, at no point have I ever duped myself into believing that they are actually 'good'. So for anyone else out there waiting for the fun to begin, here's some of the awesomeness that'll come your way starting as early as next week.
Returning Shows
Prison Break - Monday August 21, 8pm - After what can definitely be classed as the longest prison break ever, Wentworth Miller and the boys finally broke free of Fox River Penitentiary and will spend this season on the lam. Look forward to a savvy agent who may be able to give old Wenty a run for his money in the smarts category.
Survivor - Thursday September 14, 8 pm - Yeah, ok, so it's season 13 and we're over it. The only thing is that Jeff Probst is so freaking good at his job. He handles tribal council like a surgeon wields a scalpel. Amazing!
House - Tuesday September 5, 8 pm - What the hell is up with Fox? They sucked for years and now they have all these fabulous shows. Who can resist the cranky Dr. House? Odds are that the loss of his cane this season won't make him any more happy, but let's face it, we love to be miserable with him.
Lost - Wednesday October 4, 9pm - I only discovered this show this summer on DVD, and now I am hooked. This is one show that is definitely worth the effort of following a complex plot.
New Shows - This category is a lot harder to predict because you never know what tripe the networks will come up with to placate us for the upcoming season. Here are a couple that look like they should be pretty good anyways...
Shark - Thursday September 21, 9 pm - Helllooooo??? James Wood is in this. How cool is that?
The Nine - Wednesday October 4, 10 pm - Another show from ABC with a massive cast and an ex-Party of Five actor. The formula seems to work for them, so I'm not going to knock it.
Until then, we'll all just have to cling to the scraps of summer television - thank god they've managed to schedule it so that most of the finales wrap before the good stuff gets underway. In the meantime there's still Tommy Lee and Julie Chen to keep us gaping at the idiocy. I guess summer programming is kind of like a train wreck that way; you know it's wrong, but you can't stop staring.
*If Mel Gibson wasn't a hardcore bible thumping bigot, would he still be an anti-Semite? I hate pancakes, and I hate how Veronica manipulates Archie but how do you express real hate for complete strangers like Mel did?
UPDATE: I "hate" Star Jones-Reynolds. She makes me vomit.
*Mel's production company was developing a mini-series on the Holocaust, but it was cancelled. My gut says they were never going to make this and it was all a front to cover his racist attitude. Sort of like the anti-Dentite Seinfeld episode where Jerry's dentist Dr. Whatley becomes a Jew so he can tell Jewish jokes.
The Guardian Angels have landed. This fall the red beret's will patrol our streets busting crack pipes and harvesting fear in the DTES. With a green light from the city and a red light of hate in their eyes I hope to see St Paul's full to the brim of druggies with broken knee caps instead of the typical overdose.
Folks, we are more likely to get a parking ticket or get shit on for idling too long than some clown is to get busted going to town on his meth pipe like the Gastown Steam clock, right in the open. Someone needs to show that punk how hard it is to pick your teeth off the ground when both your arms are broken...I hope to see the Angels giving those people that opportunity.
There are also those down in the dumps that would embrace the opportunity to pick themselves up again if they had that chance. If I could spot that 5% of them I would devote the rest of my life into pulling them out and setting them free. I would hope that the Guardian Angels have that on their agenda as well.
These are the Dark Ages folks, be ready. If you're not prepared, someone you don't know could start talking to you. Get this stuff and keep it with you every time you leave your house.
-Headphones. Don't plug them into anything but put them on and put the plug in your pocket. Then you can actually ignore the vagrants and beggars and you won't go to hell for it. You just can't hear them because you are listening to something on your fancy headphones.
-Funny Money. Get some french coins or better yet get some washers from a hardware store. Then when one of our established street dwellers asks you for change, you can give them something. ( substitute packs of matches for useless change ) It's pretty amazing how guilty these people can make you feel. ( anything shiny could actually work here )
-If you Smoke? You need an empty cigarette pack. So that when that 20 year old alley girl asks if she can borrow a cigarette you can say sure...pull out the empty pack and then sigh and apologize that your not giving her anything for free today.
-Cheap perfume - like really cheap dollar store stuff. Is like pepper spray for blasting those poor needy bastards back to where they came from. It also makes them smell better.
-Anti-Bacterial hand wash. Have you touched a pole on the bus or sky train before? ( hazmat suits will not fit in the tourist package )
-A Bible - preferably the book of Mormon. Because honestly, nothing really repels people better than the good book. Start telling people they need a little more Jesus and a little less rock and roll in their life and they won't feel comfortable talking to a stranger for at least 72 hours.
-Guns and Ammo style Magazine. Because if you're reading something like that chances are you wanted to get into the military so so bad but they said you'rea little too nuts or your eye sight is way bad or you're just plain goofy. You're a loose cannon now. No one will bother you if you keep this magazine in plain view.
in case you were wondering this is what boredom @ 7:30am on a dreary Thursday morning looks like
This is kind of old news, but far and away the most amazing thing that has been said in the aftermath of Italy's victory over France at the World Cup is head-butt victim Marco Materazzi's denial that he insulted Zinedine Zidane by calling him a terrorist: "I did insult him, it's true. But I categorically did not call him a terrorist. I'm not cultured and I don't even know what an Islamic terrorist is."
Wow. Terrorism and culture are now synonymous. Since Italy initiated the culturally groundbreaking Renaissance, perhaps we should all be surprised that Italians aren't running around blowing more things up. I suspect that culture wasn't quite the word Materazzi was looking for, but it doesn't make his statement any less fun. If only the language barrier were always so entertaining.
If you blog and you live in Vancouver or Toronto, Nokia wants to give you a free phone. It's a viral campaign to promote their new fancy pants technology, but whatever, free stuff is always cool.
As someone who lives every day with a very French name in Vancouver, I find that I can often pass myself off as a little more "exotic" than I really am. I've spent years perfecting my Quebecois accent, and when I pull it out as a party trick, I find that it goes over gangbusters. By replacing the word "very" with the word "très", I think that I've managed to convince a significant part of the city that I am, in fact, francophone. This is why I was so very dismayed to discover that all my sad little attempts at multiculturalism failed when I hit the big town of Montreal last week. My fancy French name got me about three words into a conversation before the person I was speaking to realized I was more anglo than the Queen. Sometimes I could fake the store clerk out long enough to buy something, but as I walked away from the exchange, I would always hear those cursed words: "Thank you."
Now that I'm back in Vancouver, I can go back to the nice little bubble where I'm a francophone in a big, bad English city. And next time I'm in Montreal, I'll be sure to pass myself off as Spanish.
*The fact that I can say this - my moonlighting gig from this blog is as a copywriter, just came in at #25 in the 'Best Jobs in America' at Money magazine. But really the stress level is only a C? What agency is that at? 1. How are bottom feeding PR people in at #20? 2. Ad Managers, aka Media Buying folks, are #11. 3. Tech writers are #13? Come on. Discuss. (Via AdFreak)
*I debated this briefly today, but the new VW Jetta ads - taking off on ICBC's own scary drunk driving warning ads - are interesting. Not sure about the "Safe Happens" but they look good and are well written. Damn you Crispin Porter! Damn you to hell!
*Ad of the day. Part I: New Coke ad from Jack White. Catchy tune. Odd ad. Great Afro. Cute Red head. But watch out Coke, Jolt is coming back and the target is Red Bull.
*Ad of the day. Part II: I was settled on the Jack White Coke thing, until this insane, retro crazy, ad for Lambretta scooters came dancing into my head. Watch it. Love it. Live it. Addictive advertising.
*Ads of the day. Runner ups: This smug Land Rover ad is fairly cool, in a "it's Santori time" kind of a way. Graham, my faithful music guru pointed out the 2nd Adidas adicolor ad ("Pink") today. Graham has the dish on the ads music too, including MP3's - nicely done!
*Kevin Smith is having way, way, way, too much fun on Clerks II. This crazy You Tube video goes on forever and does a sweet tribute to the site with a "trainwreck" short that includes homage to another clip made for Pixies lovers. PS - yes, we still love Rosario Dawson. PPS - Here's a thought, why aren't film people on the list of best jobs? I know why, but... (Screenhead rules)
*Moving right along... A. George W. Bush meets Kevin Federline, Popozow. B. The background extras of Lost. What up. C. Worst Magazine, ever? Jossip has details. Cargo is alreay shutdown, guess again. D. Definetly want to catch American Dreamz this weekend - it's just too insane to miss. I don't care how bad the reviews get. Well...
My oh my! 
Vancouverite Art Director & Music Producer Graham MacInnes kicks up his world famous music selections one more MASSIVE notch today, with the 2nd edition of The Vancouverite Playlist - now in juicy podcast form and hot new interface form, the Vancouverite Playlist has so much good stuff on here it's crazy!
14 delicious tracks to get you through hump day. Featuring Flaming Lips and Jose Gonzalez. Only good can come from this. Mmmm...podcasts...Go there now and listen. Tres bien.
Today calls for some holiday humor - actually anyday invovlving the dentist does in our books - so who better to entertain us than Stephen Colbert. He has just noticed that there is a war on Christmas and he isn't very happy that it has been "pinned down by enemy fire". [Xmas at Screenhead)
Colbert rules.
We don't know what to make of this. But today, there was a lot of people sending around emails about Chuck Norris. They included such useless information as:
Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.Before email was invented Chuck Norris would attach messages to kittens and roundhouse kick them.
We're not sue we get it. But here's some more Chuckisms. What kind of sick people send such things? What kind of wierdo then reposts them?
Hollywood Un-North
Set photos from both the insane looking Nacho Libre. Creepy Tom Cruise and the Felicity (Keri Russell) on the set of Mission Impossible 3. The delightful looking Kate Beckinsale and Michelle Rodriguez.
Food & Wine
Waiter Blog writes about Hamilton Street Grill's Marley Farm Winery night: "celebrate the down to earth wines of the Marley Farm Winery (yes, the Bob Marley family!) along with Hamilton Street Grill’s, Executive Chef Neil Wyles, wine-inspired appetizers." Get Jaming December 12th. $20. Damn.
Design, Trends, Etc.
*92 pages of Tyler Durden creepy. The Pink Flyer.
*Industrial Brand Creative. A local Vancouver design studio that blogs some really great stuff.
*The curious tale of the Hurra Torpedo. It's driving Ad Jab insane. Ford Propaganda vs. Insane Norwegian Band? You be the judge.
*Saul Bass's famous "Death Star" logo for AT&T has been updated. Ad Freak has the details.
*The Work Less dude writing at West-Mart recaps the election results by writing about sexing up sustainability. The subhead of a recent Tyee article is awesome: "Because life and death issues can't afford to bore."
SATURDAY:
*It's time to find the "fire in your belly" and vote in the elections. Why in the hell is the vote on a Saturday anyway. Not only do the downtown mayoral candidates make us sick to our stomachs, they are ruining a perfectly good Saturday too. [Vancouver Votes]
*How about the Work Less Party's Cirucs? This insane event has a kissing booth, spanking booth, and body painting. Costumed guests pay $3, non-costumes pay $8, first 5 drag queens get in free. Maritime Labour Centre - 1880 Triumph Street. [Circus Party]
*And if you still feel bad about voting for Jim Green or Sam Sullivan, you could mend your wounds by letting off some steam at The Commadore and watching Damien "Jr. Gong" Marley. [Vancouver Events]
SUNDAY:
*Gwen Stefani and her posse of mute Japanese dance machine robots invade Vancouver. Cultural Icons beware, she's taking her lame fashion show to General Motors Place.
*We don't get why this is happening on November 20th. But then again Rogers is sponsoring it, so there you go. The 2nd Annual Rogers Santa Claus Parade at 10:30 AM. So stick far away from Georgia, Howe, and Burnaby Streets. Give us a break.
*Sadly they don't seem to be coming to Vancouver anytime soon, but The Darkness has what could be the most insane music video for the song "One Way Ticket" we've seen in a long, long time. Golden Fiddle describes it quite rightly as featuring, "Star Wars-type title crawl, Justin Hawkins dressed a wart-hog from hell, and a fish & chips picnic set atop a mountain of Bolivian marching powder (but, unfortunately, no Ben Stiller or Kate Moss) has us pretty much convinced!"
*Speaking of music videos. The insanity continues with Beck's "Hell Yes" featuring the goodness of creepy robots. Again, not coming soon to Vancouver, the bastard.
*Gawker Media's big week as told by thier competition Gothamist. Big Press, Big distribution deal, big speculation. HeyCan West, quick, write this down. Blogs begin to compete for market share in Canada. Just look at our competitor FreshDaily. We get the Toronto, Vancouver, and Montreal blogs, but we scratch our heads on the Mississauga one. Let the games begin.
*Ah, young jedi, we see your blogging is about as good as your acting. Is this Hayden Christensen blog? You be the judge.
*Jennifer Aniston is GQ's Woman of the Year. The trailer for her new film, "The Break Up" with Vince Vaughn is out.
*A new short film by Spike Jonze called "How they Get There" tells the tale of how those shoes that you see in the street now and again, get there.
*And how amazing is this creepy Egg Mastercard commercial created by Mother and director Ne-O.
*A Daily workout only buys you 3.7 extra years. Mickey Kaus says we all secretly think. "Only 3.7 years? It almost doesn't seem worth it. I would have thought that figure would be much higher. ...Is this one of those cases where the news is the opposite of what the news says the news is?"
*The Jones Soda 2005 Holiday Pack is absolutely disgusting. "Broccoli Casserole, Smoked Salmon Paté, Turkey & Gravy, Corn on the Cob, and Pecan Pie flavored sodas."
*Ipod cradles made out of solid rock. [Boing Boing]
*Paris Hilton has a new little friend. A kinkajou Monkey named Baby Luv. Defamer is on full Monkey Deathwatch for us.
While we were at it, we went into American Apparel. Completely don't get it. Okay, I get the t-shirts, but I don't get their whole store concept. But I will say this, the cashiers are very aweseomely judgemental, ("You don't look like a rock star, should I be selling you these black t-shirts" is actually an expression they can give you. At least our own Art Director felt that wrath.) which is so awesome. In other news, my friend Anthony learned that if you spend over $50 bucks (that non-sweatshop L.A. manufacturing ain't cheap you know) you got a free headband. Now, that is excellent. And one question. Why can't the store be more like their advertising and photos?
In the next Giant Magazine - the upcoming December/January issue (advance copies are yummy) - has a sweet little article praying for the death of poker proclaiming it, "the world's most annoying trend." The mini-article goes on to say: "You haven't known agony until you've watched Michael Badalucco, Bobby Flay, Kathy Najimy and Mimi Rogers get their asses handed to them by Steve Harris. The trend needs to die, people. Shuffle up and deal with it."
Somebody had to say that. This is good news for a magazine we've never really found all that interesting - well, that is until that redesign and the new sweet retro logo came out. Although the Denise Richards cover seems a little much. What was the last thing she even did.
* Boing Boing points the way to the dark, scary underbelly of that creepy Hello Kitty. [via Boing Boing]
*There are so many amazing things in this PlayStation spot it's hard to know where to begin. The Golden Girls theme song plus robots. Who knew. [Boards]
*Thank the maker for Stephen Colbert. Here he is on torture: "Senator McCain, stop taking away are right to do it 'cause it doesn't exist. It's like licensing unicorns or ending Leprechaun Wednesdays" (From the "Colbert Report" via Hotline's Wakeup Call.)
The source for your daily double shot of hyper caffeinated snark-ridden commentary, news, events, and trashy gossip about Vancouver.
Notes on the long overdue "Vodkapocalypse" - January 8, 2010
"...Gets my nod of approval as a real Vancouverite" - [Dock Currie, Metro Vancouver]
"...one of the online tastemakers driving buzz in Canada" - [Misty Harris, CanWest News Service]
"Best Way To Stay Humble" - [Georgia Straight]
Send your tips, news, ideas, & complaints here:
vancouverite@thevancouverite.com
Editor:
Jackson Murphy
"Not So" Contributing Editors:
Luke McCullum and Josee Thibault
Art Direction:
Graham MacInnes
Published by:
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