I checked out Stefan Sagmeister who gave a talk at the Roadhouse tonight after the Salazar awards show. He's a great speaker. Funny. Interesting. Just Great. The bar was set fairly low following his introductions by some members from the GDC mind you. Although, it's hard to top an opening story about a self fellating water elephant or something or other.

He was promoting his new book 'Things I Have Learned In My life So Far' (A Video Trailerish Thing). This video, "Over time I get used to everything and start taking it for granted." was a highlight. I can say is that at least there was a cheese plate. Boy could I use more cheese plate tonight.

This great Kermit doing Needle in the Hay a la Royal Tenebaums is pretty wicked awesome. And honestly, kind of caps off quite the day. On the other hand, that video + the 2nd one = me watching the opening sequence to the movie and that actually salvaged the day.

What if The Hills had no dialogue? What if it just had 50% more awkward silences instead? Pure. Genius.

So while one Vancouverite ruins Scarlett Johansson (honestly I thought Woody Allen had this covered), the current hottest woman in the universe, Megan Fox, is shooting a movie here called Jennifer's Body. This film's plot is ground breaking: "A newly possessed cheerleader turns into a killer who specializes in offing her male classmates. " Diablo Cody is the writer, but I'm not convinced of this combination.

PS: I'd like to know which of you Vancouver jerks let Megan go to a god damned Tim Hortons. Not cool.

You had to know something, sooner or later, would drag me kicking and screaming from my rat hole. I honestly didn't think hearing that Scarlett Johansson getting engaged with Vancouver born Ryan Reynolds would be it, but here we are. One of our own marrying Scarlett and its this bit of smarmy box office poison? It's like marrying the Canadian version of Dane Cook, only funnierless. [Defamer]

Did watching the Weird Science last night and in particular the end, where Garry and Wyatt drop off Deb and Hilly really spark the first post in like forever? I think it did. Gulp...

(Photo: Monceau)

January hasn’t been the kindest month for the pocketbook. Your credit-card statement from the holidays left you wondering why in the hell you spend large bills on people you can’t stand. Your RRSP account went down like a champagne bottle on New Year’s Eve thanks to the Yanks’ wacky concept on how to pay for a house (or not). And you had to shell out a couple of hundred on those snow tires you should’ve bought four months ago.

Now, Mardi Gras is coming up and you’re in the mood to get funky. But you want to keep it cheap and casual. Luckily, this past weekend one of the best bands going was in town. Had the deadbeat editor been able to post, he would have been able to tell you about this Friday:

"For just $13.50, you can get in Saturday night to see Grace Potter and the Nocturnals. The notoriety of the bluesy Vermont band is rising fast Stateside. Their 2007 release “This is Somewhere” finished sixth in the year-end listener poll at WDST, the coolest radio station you’re not listening to, and this appearance in Vancouver presents the best value you may see in 2008. Don’t pass it up."

Here are the highlights for the Vancouver music scene for February (***-I have my tickets; **-If I could afford it, I’d go; *-Give me a freebie and I’m there, and I’ll buy the first round):

Feb. 5: Editors/Hot Hot Heat, Commodore**
Feb. 5: The Kon Tikis, Railway Club*
Feb. 8: Dustin Bentall, Run GMC, Bourbon*
Feb. 10: Matt Costa, Commodore*
Feb. 11: Jim Bryson, Media Club*
Feb. 11: DJ Shadow and Cut Chemist, Commodore**
Feb. 12: Feist, Orpheum***
Feb. 13: Wyclef Jean, Commodore*
Feb. 14: Sean Costello, The Yale*
Feb. 15: Mika, Orpheum**
Feb. 16: Ladyhawk, Commodore*
Feb. 17: Marilyn Manson, Queen Elizabeth Theatre*
Feb. 18: John Mellencamp, PNE***
Feb. 21: Corb Lund, Commodore**
Feb. 21: Bonobo, Richard’s on Richards*
Feb. 22: The Hives, Commodore*
Feb. 26-27: Johnny Winter, The Yale***
Feb. 27: Gregory Isaacs, Commodore*
Feb. 28-29: Daniel Wesley, Commodore**

Don't you just get a kick out of how our cops go all Dirty Harry in their ad campaign against carjackers. If only they'd do a little something to scare the crap out of all those punks on Granville who carry around their handguns as if they were pez dispensers.

(Photo by Julia Pelish)

"Went to that Pinkys Steakhouse on Saturday. What a douche-a-palooza. The food was alright, but typical Yaletown shite.

If you are going to do a steakhouse, it should probably be better than the Keg and your unique selling feature shouldn't be that you have the cheapest shots of Patron in all of Yaletown. That said, it was good value. $25 for salad, steak/pasta and dessert, but would probably just go to the Keg next time. Still it did have more people in it on that night then I think Lily Kate had all time. PS: how douchy are the wine glasses? I almost refused to drink out of them. "

Love it.

Watching Ezra Levant go off on the Human Rights Commission on the intent of his magazine publishing those Danish cartoons is, well, pretty rad. [via Megan McArdle]

Today would be Cary Grants birthday. I saw two posts on the internets about it already. I'm dressed like a bit of a slob, which doesn't really say much about anything I may have learned from Mr. Grant. Whatevs. Might try to use the following North By Northwest quote at some point today:

"Now you listen to me, I'm an advertising man, not a red herring. I've got a job, a secretary, a mother, two ex-wives and several bartenders that depend upon me, and I don't intend to disappoint them all by getting myself "slightly" killed. " - Roger Thornhill.

Piling on to the Lasagna Cat phenomenon that is sweeping the tubes. This is kind of what the internets was invented for: grown men reenacting comic strips about a grumpy fat cat. The fact that in this episode Jon decides to grow a mustache followed by a Manic Monday musical blow out...is how you say? Amazing.

Just got around to watching the 2nd episode of CBC's JPod. Yes folks, that is right my favorite proveyor of the smug, Douglas Coupland, has brought his Helvetica loving quirkfest to the mothership. I've watch the pilot and the 2nd episode and here's what you need to know. Oh, and yes, in case you're wondering I've read the book.

The Best of the Worst.

1. Terrible video game graphics. That and some shit awful sound design tip this off as Canadian.

2. Did they deliberately chose the cinematography/lighting/look of the show? Or is this just what a scripted show filmed on a set in Canada has to look like? If so why? It looks better outdoors, but inside looks like a Canadian show. I hate that.

3. Pretty sure tonight they were at After Glow. Can't ever go there again. Douche alerts!

4. Do Coupland's little inane miscellany page filler items that seem questionable in even the books translate into television transition? At all? No. No they do not.

5. Helvetica.

6. The idea of shirtless software developers makes me kind of sick-y.

7. Blatant use of Tragically Hip in the pilot. Is that ironic or just lazy?

8. Canwest calls it (and other new CBC shows) "urbane, ironic and watchable"? Gulp. "the show combines the elements of nerdy Chuck and quirky Weeds." Or is it Weeds and Reaper?

9. 60 minute episodes? Bahahhahahaah. That's rich.

10. Character blogs with not very much in the way of posts. Bless the web marketificationability and the tubes.

The Sort of Bestest Parts

1. It's not Two and A Half Men. I smell an endorsement.

2. Alan Thicke. Amazing, ironic choice, and full of retro-ocity. It's like Jason Seaver went on a twisted bender and started fooling around on Maggie while Boner and Mike watched. Too much? I should have said Ben? Right? He was more impressionable. And have you ever truly lived unless you've seen Thicke in a Nazi uniform? Amazing. PS: Has he aged at all?

3. Steph Song. Why? For real, you've seen this right?

4. Emilie Ullerup.

5. Laughable to see snow in Vancouver. Genius.

6. Upside to refuges? Sorry. My bad. Wrong list.

7. Just remembered from book. Will Coupland actually appear as himself in upcoming episodes? Please say yes. Smug meter would just go off.

8. Helvetica?

9. Refreshingly not Corner Gas.

10. Something to pass the WGA strike with no new Office or 30 Rock.

My morning started with watching this creepy Tom Cruise scientology video and it ends with news he tried to pick up Jennifer Garner years ago with a super weird line: "Do you know what freedom is?" You go Jen G. That was grossness. Or as The Hater describes the whole mess: "Scientology is kind of like Fox News Channel: rambling, intense, nonsensical, graphics-happy, often scored to bombastic music, prone to overuse of the word "freedom" (as in "The Freedom Medal Of Valor"), and unintentionally hilarious." [Seriously, just watch the top five creepy bits and refrain from watching either of the two links Hater tried to direct you to, a video of Jordy's Ohh La Baby.]

Pretty sure that buying Olive and Rosemary bread, when you think you are buying the super delicious Olive Oil and Rosemary mini loaf counts as a low light. I'm sure you don't care.

Emily Gould (she formerly of Gawker) sums up nicely the Vanity Fair love in piece this month about Indiana Jones over at Jewcy. Note: Count her as the third Gawker alumni that I've crushed on after Ana Marie Cox and Jessica Coen and quite possibly a 4th on Jezebel already. And doubly awesome, how great is Jewcy's masthead: A Magazine and Community for new Jews and other Riffraff. Love it. Count me in.

Mitt Romney won the Michigan Primary tonight? Oh dear lord. And then Hilary beat, er, um, "uncommitted" (awesome and indifferent) and you wonder how America rules the world don't you. Jim Treacher: ""These primaries are like the Special Olympics: Everybody gets a ribbon!" [Detroit News]

This is fairly incredible look at what three guys, a digital camera and four days can do. It's like Saving Private Ryan indie style. Very cool.

Here's a disturbing yet funny look at the downfall of HD-DVD featuring Hitler.