It's Friday September the 8 around 12:52PM and

A Strongly Worded Letter to London Drugs

We never gave my son dairy because it always bunged him up down there something fierce. We assumed he had an allergy so we gave him soy ( which explains his raging emotions ). His doctor said that is utter poppycock and insisted we put dairy into his diet poste haste and just increase his fiber intake with ruff-age.

For about 3 weeks we had been giving him homo milk ( look Douglas and J, I said Homo ) and cheese, all infused with ice cream, whipped topping and some more cheese. Within a couple days you would swear there was a traffic accident in his little rectum and the poop was actually cars that had all stopped to see what happened, because nothing was moving, even after 10 days.

I went to London Drugs and asked for something strong to help him get this blockage out. The lady suggested some glycerin suppositories. Then when she explained how that works and where it goes I almost vomited all over the counter. Then she came back with this stuff called Peg 3350 from what I think was the restricted section of the pharmacy. I figured the 3350 meant they had tried 3,349 times previously to get it right, and now they did or it was made in the year 3350 and then transported back through time. Whatever it meant It must be wicked awesome.

There was no dosage suggested, no warning labels, so I used Google to find an answer. I figured since we didn't know what to expect I would take some just to test it out. Hilarity and near death followed swiftly:

My Letter to London Drugs where I provide details and then question their practices. This is a true story only exaggerated about 10% to keep you from vomiting:

Dear London Drugs (Brentwood Location),

I picked up an over the counter medication for my son last week ( August 7th ) and I am concerned there was no warnings included in the packaging, or on the product itself. It was Polyethylene Glycol 3350, or PEG 3350. Your pharmacist said this would do the trick for his constipation. She also hit on me something fierce, which made my wife uncomfortable.

Have you bastards ever tried this PEG stuff? Right after I took some to test it out I took a nap and when I woke I was lying on the bathroom floor. My wife had apparently dragged all 300 pounds of me off the couch and into the bathroom so I could drain. I woke to find my midsection covered in a sticky brown tar and when my vision came back to 100% I found myself staring at something solid that looked like a lamb shank just inches from my head. I felt violated.

I admit I took more than I should have, but why did you sell us a pound of this stuff if we were only supposed to give him 16ml at a time? A web site said a weeks worth of daily doses would get him back on track. To be honest I am absolutely shocked I have any bones left after that happened, what do you suppose would this have done to a 3 year old after a week of it?

Despite the fact I feel better than I ever have now , your head office will be receiving a bill for carpet and upholstery cleaning.

Sincerely,

Luke McCullum
778-899-xxxx

I will update with a response if they have the balls to reply.

Posted by Luke Mccullum | Link | Comments (0)