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It's Friday September the 15 around 4:18PM and

A Strongly Worded Letter to Blockbuster

Have you ever been to the Blockbuster on Oak and 17th? Have you been there so many times that you have had the opportunity to deal with the subject of this letter...if you found a certain employee there nauseating enough to make you want to vomit uncontrollably, then yes you know who I am talking about.

And if you want to borrow my copy of Breast Men, you know how to get a hold of me.

Read on cupcake, read on...

Hello Blockbuster,
Last month I was in your Oak and 17th store renting some movies with my young son. I found what I was looking for as you had several copies of everything, it's really great.
Here's where it all goes to shit though. I am in line for almost 10 minutes holding a 35 pound live turkey that's freaking out because I keep throwing down F-Bombs because you suck. I am also trying to hide the copy of David Schwimmers "Breast Men" from the girls behind me because they are with their mom and you only rent this movie if you want to wank and everyone knows that.
I finally get to the cashier and this is where I snapped. GAD ZOOKS BLOCKBUSTER!!! How could anyone actually be that happy? This THING standing before me that looks like it wasn't given birth to, but crapped out, first asks me how I am, then that I can buy my very own copy of Breast Men, she said that really loud too, and that there was this scene in Four Weddings and a Funeral where she laughed so hard some pop corn got lodged in her sinuses and she had to go the hospital. I said "Let's go, I don't want to hear it, just get me out of here." She stops everything and tells me I can't talk to her that way. She tells me to leave and that I am not welcome in Blockbuster, she was shaking and spewing spittle she was so mad. I ran out of the store but grabbed the copy of Breast Men and still have it, our internet connection wasn't working and I was desperate.
I won't return to any Blockbuster until you deal with this representative of your company. I also won't return your video, though it didn't do the trick, I may as well have just watched surgery on the Life Network.
Luke McCullum
luke.mccullum@gmail.com