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It's Wednesday August the 9 around 7:59AM and

Putting Payback on Layaway

My little squirt just turned 3 years old in March. He's a bit behind so he is just in that terrible two's phase. God damn these are good times folks. To best describe what he is like is an alarm clock that is forever going WHAA WHAA WHAA and hitting you and throwing things, spitting and tossing feces. Now I wouldn't dare harm him as visible marks will land me in a heap of trouble, and obviously I just couldn't bring myself to hurting precious junior.

The Solution: Put Payback on Layaway
This might be applicable to a lot of parents in my position. I am keeping a journal of everything he does and signing it and when possible attaching pictures. That way when he turns 18 I can embarrass and kick the crap out of him for everything he is doing now. If he brings girls over I will delight them in stories of me and his moms sexual deviance, not limited to putting fresh streaks on the glass table. I figure by that time I will be hitting 50 years old so it will be a fair fight. If he grows into my shoes he will probably have an advantage anyways,
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Posted by Luke Mccullum | Link | Comments (0)

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