It's Tuesday September the 12 around 4:22AM and

Vancouver Craigslist Best Of: Wreck Beach, Renters, The Wack, Ikea Ripoffs

Another week, and more absolute banal stupidity on Craigslist, and yet, like reality TV we just can't stop watching the trainwreck. Damn you.

*sex at wreck beach - "On Sunday afternoon as we walked down one of the beach trails (the gay area) we came upon a couple laying right next to the trail having sex. He was on top of her and really going at it. I was fairly shocked (amazed?) to see this. I cant say I really objected, in fact we actually stopped and watched briefly, but I was surprized to see this. "

Ah, Wreck Beach. You stay classy.

*Jumpin Jeepers Vancouver?!! What's the trouble?! - "I am 32, a professional who was offered a job in this city. I had never been but I heard it was top notch-natural beauty, open minded lifestyle towards pot/gays/yoga ect, healthy blablabla. I needed a change...."

Alas, the 32 year-old yoga loving gay pothead was labelled as a worthless renter. What a shame.

*to the ass from the wack - "I am so glad summer is over because every vancouverite thinks camping at cultus is "cool"...not. Every Friday-Monday in the summer I would spend it in the city so I don't need to deal with trailer trash from Surrey and Hipsters from vancouver on "vacation" an hour away from their fucking houses."

Uh oh, since when do hipsters go camping? Totally busted faux hipsters.

*#8 Fraser Bus - "I nominate "my" local bus, the #8 Fraser, as having the city's stinkiest/scariest/rudest ridership. It smells like B.O., fresh shit, and many unidentifiables. There are many starers and gropers in the back. Lots of riders have insects riding on them. It's not pretty, but it's mine. The whole world is coming to Vancouver, and they're all getting on the #8 Fraser! "

Good to know. Don't ride the #8. Yet another reason not to take the buses.

*Arseholes selling overpriced Ikea shit on Craigslist - "This is website for unloading your shit. Don't think that you can buy the Klippan sofa (translation in Swedish: uncomfortable piece of shit) for $400, fart on it, spill beer on it, have your cats claw the shit out of it, and two years later make me come pick it up and pay $300. Get real."

Yeah. I'm pretty much of the opinion that Ikea stuff should never be resold. It's kind of like dixie cups and paper plates. Isn't Ikea stuff throw away only?

*Intelligent, Honest, Caring - Must like Rolling Stones - 54 - A funloving "54 year old female caucasian/European mixture living in North Burnaby" has tickets for the Rolling Stones, "lower level, Section 7 row JJ" and wanting some crazy person to send her they're resume, headshot, fullbody shot, for "friendship and if things work out really well - eventually developing into a relationship."

OMG, this is both pathetic and cute. Old people are so cool when they learn about things like the interwebs.

*Rant: Brian Jonestown Mass. @ Richards on Richards - "Fix your bathroom, I'm sure that my hands are cleaner when I walk in.
Finally, you sick turds, you won't even serve someone a glass of water??? WTF, the bartender told me he wasn't allowed to do it, but could give me a glass and I could get it out of the washroom."

Yeah, ordering tap water at a bar is pretty lame, and what the hell where you doing at Richards on Richards running around, drinking water and inspecting the bathrooms. Get a grip.

*re re Anson Carter - My friend is sure going to miss him. They hooked up last year. As she put it, "his hockey stick isn't the only big piece of wood that he knows how to handle!"

Sweetie, just so we're clear, your friend is a dirty little tramp.

*Rave British guy's are the best. - "I just got back from England after a great 6 month stay, what a difference with brit guys, they are polite, friendly and great fun. Since being back in Van, I notice the guys here are boring, uptight and mostly bisexual, they need a srink here not a girlfriend"

You should have seen how much fun we had while you were gone, gaying it up and seeing our shrinks you frigid tart.

Posted by Jackson Murphy | Link | Comments (0)