It's Thursday July the 15 around 3:52PM and
The Social Network Trailer
Love the use of a cover of RadioHead's Creep for the new Facebook movie, The Social Network is perfect. Like.
Vancouver Film
It's Monday July the 5 around 8:47PM and
Inception (Ads) Rule
Love these reality bending building sized ads for Inception. I mean it's no War Pigs, but this film is the only thing worth seeing this summer. "In general, I’d say there should be more 3D movie posters and less 3D movies. My only criticism: if you’re going to peel off the outside of a building, why no naked lady in the shower? said Film Drunk. How can I top that?
It's Monday July the 5 around 9:13AM and
We Made it Back to the Future Or Something
This will surely make you feel half dead. Apparently today is the day Doc Brown sets the DeLorean's computer to go to. July 5, 2010 in Back to the Future. Conan O'Brien also tweets this occasion. Hilarity ensues, since this was all a hoax. 25 years, yes, but not today sadly. And I still don't have my damn hoverboard. 2010 is total crap, well, except for the scooping ketchup.
It's Friday July the 2 around 8:56AM and
The 100 Greatest Movie Insults of All Time
Nice way to get going on this special Post Canada Day "Mofriday". The 100 Greatest Movie Insults of All Time.
It's Wednesday June the 30 around 9:31AM and
Conan the Barbarian: The Musical
Finally. Arnold Schwarzenegger starring in Conan the Barbarian: The Musical. "Crom! Crush your enemies! And to hear the lamentations of their women!" See also: Total Recall: The Musical. (Via Super Punch)
It's Wednesday June the 30 around 8:30AM and
The First iPhone 4 Film
A pretty cool little short entirely shot and edited on the new iPhone. Well played.
It's Thursday June the 17 around 11:30AM and
Oh Russia! Your Ads are genius
Oh to be an advertising agency in Russia. Lets shoot a 2-minute commercial for a low cost airline using nothing but future mail order brides in bikini's. Great! This actually makes sense because there is only young people in Russia, it's like one giant frat party with nothing but Britney Spears clones circa 2000 walking around Stalin's old haunts. I smell a drinking game. (via AdFreak)
It's Monday June the 14 around 8:17AM and
Cars and Freedom
This is the way to start a Monday. George Washington going into battle in a Dodge Charger with an American Flag. Yeah he did. The end voice over is hilarious. I could watch a whole TV show about revolutionary America armed with modern muscle cars to drive the British away. (Too soon after that World Cup tie?) That would be wickedly awesome.
It's Tuesday April the 13 around 11:29AM and
Luke Needs Answers & Bacon AT-AT's
Love this. Asking inappropriate questions, you are, a Star Wars Google Ad parody from College Humor. And speaking of Star Wars, how about this all-bacon AT-AT? Delicious and destructive. (Thank you George for sending that to me)
It's Sunday April the 11 around 8:48PM and
Finally, A movie about butter...
Let me get this straight. Jennifer Garner and Ashley Greene in a movie about butter, called magically, Butter. Oh my, and Ty Burrell - the dad from Modern Family. And maybe Alicia Silverstone too. Best. Premise. Ever.
It's Thursday April the 8 around 7:27AM and
30 Years Since Empire
Nice of Entertainment Weekly to remind us that 30-years have passed since Empire Strikes Back debuted. THIRTY FREAKING YEARS. Three decades. Can you even imagine? A dark time for the rebellion, indeed.
It's Monday April the 5 around 9:11PM and
Quote of the day: Secrets to life with Ernest Borgnine
Mr. Ernest Borgnine ladies and gentleman. At 91, the guy is a genius.
It's Thursday March the 18 around 8:02AM and
Zach Galifianakis interviews Ben Stiller
Got 5 minutes this morning? Of course you do. Because if you have time to check this blog, you've basically acknowledged that you aren't working, possibly unemployed even. Anywho, can we please just give Zach Galifanakis his own network or show? NBC surely could need something? Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Ben Stiller from Between Two Ferns
It's Tuesday March the 16 around 5:14PM and
Tarantino's Camera Angel
2 minutes and 43 seconds of Quentin Tarantino's "camera angel" setting up what seems like every take in the entire film, Inglorious Basterds. I could watch that for every movie. Legendary.
It's Monday March the 1 around 10:51AM and
Monday Morning Coffee Break featuring a Cat fight
Cat fight. Cat fight. Cat fight. These cats HATE each other. (Via The Awl)
It's Thursday January the 28 around 10:52PM and
What's up with Wall Street 2 trailer?
Since Obama is declaring war on the banks, this teaser trailer for Wall Street 2; Money Never Sleeps, is apropos. But did they really need to show that Gordon Gekko has been trapped in the 1980's prison all this time (as if) as they give him back is rad brick phone? And this could be the one time I ever say, why couldn't they have gotten Charlie Sheen into this?
It's Wednesday January the 27 around 6:08AM and
Shooting Movies in Vancouver: Kat Dennings
Kat Dennings is in Vancouver. T Magazine's Blog writes, "the 23-year-old Dennings (née Litwack) is perhaps the quirkiest, and the most acquired taste. She’s about 5’5″ and alabaster, and her red-carpet pose — hands at the waist, chest out — says both “come hither” and “get lost.”
Here's some behind the scenes photos of Kat Dennings on the set of Daydream Nation, currently filming in Vancouver. And here are some more of her riding a bike.
It's Tuesday January the 19 around 6:04AM and
Quote of the day I: China Nearly Bans the Avatards
(Photo: STR/AFP/Getty Images)
China is off to a pretty ridiculous 2010. They are hacking into Gmails, promting Google to threaten to pull out of the country, and now this:
"The Hong Kong Daily Apple (translated and summarized in The Telegraph) reports that, though James Cameron's saga of hair sex and perfect CGI breasts was expected to earn 500 million yuan ($73 million) at the Chinese box office, the state-run China Film Group changed its mind and decided to allow only the 3D version of the film in—a de facto ban on general distribution since so few Chinese theaters have 3D equipment....Luckily, China has the most robust pirating economy in the world, so China will still gets its Avatards; they'll just be watching on smaller screens, and James Cameron won't get paid" - Maureen O'Connor, Gawker.
It's Monday January the 18 around 6:09AM and
Golden Globes Recap
Top ten things at last night's Golden Globe award show:
10. Rickey Gervais drinking pints while hosting and being awesome, like calling Mel Gibson a drunk.
9. NBC was the butt of 1 out of 3 jokes. Awkward.
8. James Cameron's Prince Valiant hair. Can we special effect that out for the Oscars please. PS: It won best picture. Aghhh.
7. Two words: Christina Hendricks.
6. I still can't believe Pacey Whitter is dating Diane Kruger. As if.
5. The Hangover won best comedy/musical picture. And Mike Tyson was there. Awesome.
4. Jeff Bridges is still the dude. And he abides.
3. That Glee beat 30 Rock for best comedy show. Maybe because it's not as funny anymore.
2. Robert Downey Jr's acceptance speech
1. Anna Paquin's dress. (see above) Thankfully there was a cameraman dedicated to the True Blood stars chestal area. Close 2nd to Olivia Wilde, Marion Cotillard, and Kate Winslet.
It's Thursday January the 14 around 10:29PM and
Wes Anderson Award Acceptance in Stop Motion
Wes Anderson accepts his Special Filmmaking Achievement Award from the National Board of Review in stop motion form. So good.
It's Tuesday January the 12 around 8:01PM and
Seriously, No official Vancouver 2010 Lingerie?
Okay Vancouver 2010, next time we get the Olympics and stuff, can we get really cool sponsors that will cover our Canada Lines and buildings in lingerie ads. After seeing the 15th Bell HD TV billboard today on the Canada line, I wished Armani was crazy enough to be advertising here with the new Megan Fox campaign. (More at Ministry of Gossip) PS: I just love Armani's creative thinking behind the campaign, "Megan is young and sexy and has a lot of spirit." Simple.
Seriously, where is the official lingerie of 2010 when you are at the Bay? Is it near the mittens or the plush dolls? Am I the only one that wants to see more shameless advertising and proof that capitalism will deliver us from evil?
Full disclosure: This is a shameless attempt to make Megan Fox relevant to Vancouver. Deal with that.
Previously on The Vancouverite:
Megan Fox Takes A Dip in Vancouver
It's Monday January the 11 around 6:16AM and
The Vancouverite Interview: Actress Christine Solomon
We recently had the opportunity to interview up and coming actress, Aristotle reading, Lambada dancing girl next door Christine Solomon. Obviously we subjected her to the full Vancouverite Interview treatment, without any complaints. Check it:
The Vancouverite: Who is Christine Solomon? And why in god’s name did you want to be interviewed by The Vancouverite?
Cristine Solomon: Well, why not! And who wouldn't want to get interviewed by the Vancouverite. You guys rock! I agreed to be featured in the Vancouverite because you guys are exceptionally dedicated to your craft and my latest Egyptian film, Heliopolis, happens to have its world premiere in Vancouver.I am a Canadian Egyptian actress who happens to have gotten her first big break in Egypt.
TV: What are three things people should know about you, but that they probably don’t.
CS: I love chocolates! I wear glasses. And I sword fight as a hobby!
TV: Sword fight. That's what she said. Anyway, you divide your time between Montreal, LA, and Cairo, what’s that like? And what are your essential travel tips, plane reading lists?
CS: It’s a lot of fun! I very much enjoy traveling and working abroad. The difficult part of it all is that you get to miss your loved ones. As for my essential travel tips; I would say “less is more!" We tend to take our whole life with us when we travel. The key is to minimize. I can make 3 different outfits with a simple black skirt, pants or jeans. I learned how to mix and match and this is all thanks to my personal stylist. She taught me a lot. I enjoy reading short books on the plane. For example, Aristotle's Poetics is a very interesting one. A book that can make me think so I can get distracted on the plane. Have I mentioned that I have a fear of flying?!
Continue reading "The Vancouverite Interview: Actress Christine Solomon" »
It's Wednesday January the 6 around 8:24AM and
Why they invented Blu-Ray: Cliffhanger
Finally. This is the reason they invented Blu-Ray isn't it. Thank the gods. Cliffhanger coming on January 12. 2010 is officially more awesomer. Featuring Stallone commentary. YES! Who's with me?
It's Monday January the 4 around 7:13AM and
Avatar: 1 billion dollars can't be wrong?
Better late than never, I finally saw Avatar. Ho hum, that's three hours I'll never get back. Mostly, I'm not all that convinced that James Cameron proved 3-D technology with Avatar. I mean it was fine, but I wasn't picking my chin up from the floor or anything. He did prove he can snag over a billion at the box office again.
And with anything Cameron its mostly his propensity to go to full Lucasian and make special effects to sub for any actual storytelling needed. Don't get me wrong, he can direct and make things look awesome, but hey look at the pretty light jellyfish that aren't fish. He just can't write. Or edit. Two hours and forty minutes? Here's the set up:
"Sully is sent in mufti, like a futuristic Lawrence of Arabia, to further the schemes of the evil corporate nature-rapists desperate to obtain the precious mineral "unobtainium" (no, really)," writes Jonah Goldberg. "Jake inevitably goes native, embraces the eco-faith of Pandora's Na'Vi inhabitants and their tree goddess, the "all mother," and rallies the Pandoran aborigines (not to mention the Pandoran ecosystem itself) against the evil forces of a thinly veiled 22nd century combine of Blackwater and Halliburton."
But here are some things that really bothered me:
1. Unobtainium. 'Nough said.
2. Dear Mr. Cameron fire whoever told you that the font you picked for the subtitles looked cool was pranking you. It wasn't cool. Nor was the title reveal at the end. Why was it green? I don't understand.
3. So how come in like 150 years the earthlings seemed to have forgotten about air superiority and bombing from like 70,000 feet and stuff?
4. If earth was all barren, what was with all the jungle wars the marines kept talking about?
5. Three words: Dances with Smurfs
6. Nice to see Cameron repeat ridiculousness not seen since maybe Matrix 2 with the crazy chanting and prayer circle stuff.
7.Now that it has past billion dollars at the box office, are we just going back to nuke the blue people in the sequel this time or what?
On the plus side:
1. In 150 years people still smoke cigarettes. Awesome.
2. No Ewoks. So you got that going for you.
3. Zoe Saldana still hot, even as blue cat-like creature.
It's Tuesday December the 29 around 11:20AM and
The Star Wars A-Team Show
I'm not sure I need to watch the original trilogy ever again. It's been playing non-stop on Spike for like 3 years, and it seems dated to me now. But I would certainly watch a sci-fi/space based action series that was like this mash up of Star Wars and The A-Team. Hey, ABC, maybe as a replacement next season for when Lost is over. (via Topless Robot)
It's Monday December the 14 around 8:05PM and
TV AD review: Alvin and the Chipmunks 2
On the one hand is a movie like Fantastic Mr. Fox. Smart, Clever, fun, interesting. On the other hand is the Alvin and the Chipmunks Squeakquel. I just saw the TV spots twice during How I Met Your Mother (Bad, Bad, Bad brand association CBS). But the worst part about the spot is just how utterly dumb it is, so dumb that I nearly contemplated uploading it to the tubes myself, since, of course it's not on Youtube - it's that dumb. As in, it's even dumber than most cat videos on Youtube. I know, shocking. It's like the internet jump itself riding a shark or whatever.
This is making me wonder how completely stupid the next generation must be - they're going to make the Gen Y's look like a bunch of hard working mensa members people instead of the greedy, selfish, and incompetent little babies they are. Here's why:
1. Boy chipmunks singing "You spin me round (like a record)", while spinning...OMG, they're in the juicer. Do these idiot lumps even know what a record is?
2. Girl chipmunks doing Beyonce's Single Ladies.
3. Jason Lee already in cast and on crutches, crashing on random skateboard, yells "Alvin." Jason Lee, what is your problem?
4. One of the rats, sorry, chipmunks plays high school football, and scores touchdown by riding the football.
5. Said rat says catchy, age inappropriate, "shake what your mother gave you."
6. The end.
I can actually feel these kids getting dumber.
It's Friday November the 20 around 8:28AM and
Twilight: Edward Cullen House For Sale
OMG. OMG. OMG. OMG. You could buy Edward Cullen's House in West Van. Got $3.3 million under the mattress and want to have constant Twilight fantasies? This is the house for you! This 5 bedroom, 4 Bath house (118 Stevens Drive) is an Arthur Erickson award-winner (read: leaky?) Oh Bella. (Via The Province)
It's Friday November the 20 around 7:36AM and
VANCOUVERITE WEEKENDER: TOP PICKS FOR THE WEEKEND NOVEMBER 20- 21
FRIDAY:
New Moon. New Moon. New Moon damn it. Curse people magazine and their Sexiest Man of the Year issue where RPattz was robbed, or something. Roger Ebert savaged it in his review this week, "“\Sitting through this experience is like driving a pickup in low gear though a sullen sea of Brylcreem." I'm sure this won't stop the Twihards from melting down all weekend. Don't forget your cheap RPattz approved meatballs at Glowbal nerds.
On the other hand, while every teenage girl is at New Moon, little movies should be nice and quiet. You could try Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day or a Nic Cage movie that no one needed a remake of, Bad Lieutenant: Port of call New Orleans. But it is Werner Herzog, so that is good, and it does feature Eva Mendes, which is always good to look at. (Tinsletown).
Speaking of things to look at, check out the Scout Boutique Fashion Show tomorrow will feature Mad Men inspired pin-up designs by Stop Staring and holiday wear by local designer Sweet Soul. (152 East 8th Avenue - right off of Main Street). We're sending our fashionista to cover this, so stay tuned.
SATURDAY
Savage Love author Dan Savage is playing the Chan Centre for the Performing Arts (8pm, Tix $25). The narcissist in you can submit questions in advance for additional humiliation when asking those "where do babies come from" stupid questions. it's like an evening with Kevin Smith but not as fun and kind of insulting. What fun.
Something tells me that a bottle of Russian Stoly Vodka (certainly not that lame Swedish Absolute) and a couple hours at the Vancouver Russian Community Centre Christmas Bazaar (11-5pm, Tix $1) stuffing your face would be satisfying. Once you are wasted follow that up with a trip to a real life Etsy show at Cambrian Hall (215 East 17th, 11-5PM, $2) or save yourself the trouble and just get online and look at the wares of Regretsy home of the "Handmade: It looks like you made it with your feet" art.
SUNDAY
Is ZZ Top really playing the Abbotsford Entertainment and Sports Centre? Yes, yes they are. (Doors 6:30, Show 7:30, Tix, $85/75) Or if the memories of Back to the Future III aren't enough, there is always the East Side Culture Crawl. If you have an aversion to seeing artists in their natural environment, don't look them in their eyes.
It's Monday November the 16 around 6:40AM and
Ashley Greene Summarizes Vancouver For Twilight Fans
Twilight star Ashley Greene was asked about being in Vancouver in USA Today. It's green. And hey, her last name's Greene too! You can kayak and hike. It's kind of like New York, but not really, and Italy is better.
"Vancouver. I've been here for the past two months. It's an incredible place to live and film. They have the seawall, where you can run and ride bikes right by the water. It's really nice and relaxing. I went to an incredible restaurant last night called Market by Jean-Georges in the Shangri-La Hotel It's a really beautiful place. You can go to Grouse Mountain and go hiking. They have kayaking. It's really green and very clean air.It kind of reminds me bit of New York the way the city is set up. You can literally walk. They have Yaletown and Gastown and different parts of the city like in New York. If you wanted to walk around the whole city you can, which is nice because in L.A. you have to drive everywhere. We walk to the restaurants. And there's great shopping here. I have a (shopping) problem. I'm kind of glad that I'm working (so much). During the beginning I wasn't working six-day weeks. I had a little time on my hands and my bank account has taken a hit."
She should probably stick to photo spreads in Maxim and maybe not talking or travel writing.
It's Sunday November the 8 around 9:18AM and
Firelight: An SNL Digital Short
Taylor Swift brooding in dark hair falls in love with a Frank (Frankenstein) in a parody of how ridiculous Twilight is.
It's Friday November the 6 around 7:11AM and
VANCOUVERITE WEEKENDER: TOP PICKS FOR THE WEEKEND NOVEMBER 6 - 8
FRIDAY
Cinephiles can check out the Vancouver Asian Film Festival all weekend. I almost deleted this since trying to find anything about these films seemingly involved downloading a 44 page PDF. I hate PDFs when I just want the information on the FILMS! (turns out the navigation labeled "Festival" meant "Films")
Try shorts like Bamboozle: "When Katie, a professional mascot loses the head to her panda costume, she consequently loses her job, and now possibly her life!" Or Vagina Vacation: "After having her 18th child Nicole is ready to have another one right away. However her Vagina is not, and takes off on vacation!" But seriously, I hear White on Rice is pretty good. And any write up for a movie named The People I've Slept With suggests it is like a mixture of, "Sex and the City with Will & Grace in a progressive sex comedy about a carnally adventurous Asian American woman who
Or you could just see something like The Men Who Stare At Goats and actually enjoy yourself. Whatever.
How do you decide between Soul Asylum in Coquitlam (Red Robinson Show Theatre) and Chantel Kreviazuk in Richmond (River Rock)?
SATURDAY
At the Commodore Ballroom on Saturday night you can see LIGHTS. This keytar playing, comic loving, sci-fi geekery, World of Warcraft tatoo sporting little nerd hottie is perfect for anyone working at EA or who is 40 and never kissed a girl. She should drop the name and go by her Valarie Poxleitner original. Way cooler.
How do you decide between Neil Sedaka in Richmond (River Rock) and Chantel Kreviazuk in Coquitlam (Red Robinson Show Theatre)? Sedaka's Laughter in the Rain is perfect for this dreary day.
SUNDAY
Four words: David Foster And Friends. End of story. Game. Set. Match. (GM Place) The composer of the Expo Theme, St. Elmo's Fire, and more comes to GM Place to soft-rock out with friends like Philip Bailey from Earth, Wind & Fire.
THE VANCOUVERITE PICK: MAD MEN SEASON FINALE
Or you could stay home and catch the season finale (Title: Shut the Door. Have a Seat. Trailer here) of Mad Men. What will happen to Sterling Cooper? Another Takeover? Will Betty really leave Don? Will he go back to the teacher? Will Peggy stop grossing us out with Duck? Will Roger finally dump that drunk Jane? Will he get Joan back to to SC? Will Connie Hilton predict his grand daughter fame whoring? Will Kinsey shave his beard? Will Sal come back? Will Pete go postal? More importantly what will Don be wearing?
Programming Note: Tune in to CBC's On the Coast with Stephen Quinn tonight (5:00 - 5:30). Should be on doing a segment about all things Mad Men.
It's Friday November the 6 around 6:20AM and
Star Trek Green Girl Nerd Rant
Back to back Star Trek posts, gulp. But there is something about a rant to JJ Abrams about which sexy starlet should have played the green girl.
"Hey, J.J. Abrams -- question for you. If you have a script that features two green-skinned Orion Slave Girls, one of which is fully clothed, and one of which is shown in her underwear, how on god's green earth do you NOT give the lesser clothed role to Diora Baird? I mean, I doubt few men would kick Rachel Nichols out of bed for eating crackers, but come on."
It's Friday November the 6 around 6:16AM and
Worst DVD Packaging In the World
Pretty sure this exclusive Star Trek Packaging from Target is the most ridiculous thing in DVD packages. For once our lack of Targets serves us.
It's Monday November the 2 around 8:15AM and
Zac Efron's Smug Vancouver Hideout
He left this weekend, but High School Musical's Zac Efron, lived it up while shooting his new movie, Death and Life of Charlie St. Cloud at the 5,000-square foot pimphouse, er penthouse at the gothic Grace Building (499 Drake St.). Apparently Zac-y liked the added security of fingerprint access and security for all common areas. The private pool must have been just the icing on the cake as would have been seeing Vanessa Hudgens swimming in it. (See more at The Province)
It's Thursday October the 22 around 9:36PM and
VANCOUVERITE WEEKENDER: TOP PICKS FOR THE WEEKEND OCTOBER 23- 25
Friday
Kick off your 3-martini Friday lunch in style. 11:30 AM at the Hyatt Regency (655 Burrard St) you can go deep inside the vast right wing conspiracy and do lunch at the Fraser Institute. It's a lively discussion on how awesome the new HST Tax is. Enjoy a table for $650 or a seat for $65 while lighting cigars with $100 bills y'all.
If that is too "highbrow" for you. Try new movie openings of Saw IV (They've made 6 of these?), Astro Boy, or catch the bearded Salma Hayek in Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant.
Friday is also a bit of throwbacker. You got Blue Oyster Cult at Red Robinson Show Theatre (Boulevard Casino). All you need to know about Blue Oyster Cult I learned from Fast Times at Ridgemont High. And over at the Commodore, Collective Soul the band from the early 90's is back. I mean do you even remember Shine? That was 1993 friends. Wow. And I think they still have that terrible hair.
Lastly, you could escape from all of these with Grape Expectations. This is the adult version of Science World. Wine + Science = Fun! (7-10 pm)
Saturday
Yaletown might still be busy with Taste of Yaletown. Over 20 of Yaletown's joints are still offering special three-course tasting menus for set prices of $25, $35 and $45. Make it drinking game: every time you see small dogs, Lululemon pants, or Ed Hardy shirts you do a shot. Repeat.
But then you could get out of Yaletown and go suburban and see Bob Saget at the Red Robinson Show Theatre. Um, awesome. And maybe if you are opting for the Sagat, you might want to just wait for the banner to be dropped on the Cambie St. Bridge for the Bridge to a Cool Planet enviro-stunt (seemed to have lost the link, too bad). Save on Foods (or Whole Foods for the organic jerks) is just up the street for a dozen of eggs to throw at them for closing the bridge. What for, it might be anyone who follows this part of the bridge shut down, "You can also dress up as your favourite endangered species." Fire away!
Sunday
If you're recovering from the Saturday, you could catch brunch and then rock over the 5th Avenue Cinemas and see Audrey Tatou in Coco Avant Chanel (2110 Burrard at W. 5th)
And what would this weekend be with out kicking it with Peter Mansbridge giving The Bill Duthie Memorial Lecture at the Vancouver International Writers Festival. Wait who's going to do The National? (8:00 pm, Stanley Industrial Alliance Stage, Tix: $27)
It's Wednesday October the 21 around 7:29PM and
Justin Timberlake Brings Sexy Back to Jessica in Vancouver
Can I be the one who bucks the trend and doesn't want Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake to break up? Yes. Yesterday it was a trip to the Dunbar theater to see Where the Wild Things and make out are, today it is a stroll in Vancouver in ripped jeans.
Broken up? Looks not likely. You don't travel all the way to Vancouver and endure the hippie vegetarian institution The Naam for an ex. Do you? Lainey is going to be pissed about this. (Gossip Center)
It's Wednesday October the 21 around 6:42AM and
World Declares War on Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart
Rumors that the poor, poor, hard done by millionaire cast of Twilight will get a respite as maybe the next Twilight movie will move back to Oregon to film, as Vancouver's Twiharding "Rogue Tourists" are waging asymmetrical warfare upon them.
According to some suit for the Twilight films, "It's not just the media invading [the Twilight cast's] privacy - it's the whole world. Civilians are flying in all over the world to hunt down whoever they can find. It's bad. Literally [Rob and Kristen] have no choice but to stay inside."
Fame is really hard! The cast calls them Rogue Tourists. Twihard indeed. We should get the Twihards to go to Afghanistan to film and solve that problem. Annoy the terrorists.
(Via Entertainmentwise)
It's Wednesday October the 7 around 7:00AM and
The Ed Hardy Boys: Case of the Missing Sick Belt Buckle
This is the kind of thing that probably happens on Granville Street a lot.It's Sunday October the 4 around 9:21PM and
Twilight: Parody & nights on the town in Vancouver
Olivia Munn parodies Twilight, Hilarity ensues. There is only three weeks of filming left I'm told, and Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are starting to venture out. Saturday found them romancing at Pinkys Steakhouse. Girly steakhouse, really Pattinson?
It's Sunday October the 4 around 9:16PM and
A-Team: First Look at Jessica Biel
Coming Soon has the first shots of Jessica Biel on the set of A-Team in Vancouver. The blue leather coat is a nice touch. The question is, did Justin Timberlake ditch her for Rihanna? Or not?
It's Friday October the 2 around 6:40AM and
A-Team: First Look at Hannibal
First looks at the Vancouver shot A-Team set shows a very George Peppard looking Liam Neeson (well, sans black leather gloves) with Bradley Cooper. I love it when a plan comes together.
It's Monday September the 28 around 6:37PM and
Vancouver it girl: Jessica Lowndes
Vancouver girl Jessica Lowndes, the other Jessica from the new 90210 is looking more and more like Megan Fox. If that is a bad thing, I don't want to live in that world.
And it would seem that many people agree, a recent poll ranked her #1 for hottest bikini body. Bravo Vancouver! The Vancouverite actress even recently filmed Altitude, a feature shot in town.
Previously on The Vancouverite:
It's Friday September the 25 around 3:50PM and
Friday Afternoon Smooth: Carl Sagan And Auto Tune
Enjoy. (via Dana and Good.is)
It's Monday September the 21 around 10:37PM and
A-Team Tracker: New Van
New A-Team van, But still a GMC. actually totally the same. What? Well at least they didn't change that. But seriously they are fugitives, should't they go more incognito? (via Coming Soon)
Previously on the Vancouverite:
It's Sunday September the 20 around 2:56PM and
Twilight: Pattinson knows how to give good blue steel
Nice to see that Robert Pattinson could really give a good blue steel look. I can totally see what all the fuss is about now. Here is the young hunk waling home this weekend in Vancouver. (Gossip Center)
It's Sunday September the 20 around 1:56PM and
Box Office Battle of Vancouver Filmed Movies: Aniston 1 - Fox 0
Technically both of these actor's new films are total losers. Megan Fox, who's been everywhere and on everything proved that unadulterated hotness plus Oscar winning writer Diablo Cody might not be enough to make people see movies. Who knew? According to Box Office Mojo, Jennifer's Body finished in 5th place with a stinking $6.8 million this weekend.
This was narrowly beaten out by the Jennifer Aniston film Love Happens which brought in $8.4 million. Both movies were shot or partially shot in Vancouver. And both were destroyed by Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, The Informant, and inexplicably Tyler Perry's I Can Do Bad All By Myself, already in its second week (thankfully Tyler Perry doesn't know Canada exists and his movies don't come here).
Either way, Vancouver got owned at the box office. You'd think the world's Sexiest Woman Megan Fox kissing another girl on film could at least make over $10 million. Guess kids have figure out the whole internet thing. Maybe they should have released more images of Megan Fox in cheer leading outfits or cooking bacon like Rolling Stone did.
Previously on The Vancouverite:
Megan Fox in Vancouver, Whaaaaaaat?
It's Friday September the 18 around 8:13AM and
The Man with the Golden Gun (1974)
Have no idea why, but the theme to The Man with the Golden Gun has been in my head all morning. Hope it is now in yours.
It's Wednesday September the 16 around 10:07PM and
Twilight: Vancouverites are all hysterical tween stalkers now
The Vancouver Sun continues to fuel the flames of Twilight mania. Now it seems Vancouver has come unhinged. We are crazy for Twilight:
"Hollywood North is on the verge of losing its reputation for cool.History will record that 2009 was the year that everything changed. When filming started last spring on New Moon, the second story in the Twilight saga by author Stephenie Meyer, fans flocked to filming locations in the hundreds, creating unprecedented security headaches for the producers.
Twilight stars Rob Pattinson, Taylor Lautner and Kristen Stewart are back in Vancouver making the third film, Eclipse, until the end of October and the hysteria shows no sign of letting up. The young stars are tracked by fans to their hotel and favourite restaurants and any bars and clubs where they might try to sneak a drink or see a band."
So let me great this straight. We are like everyone, everywhere else? It's not like they haven't they been doing this in New York forever. They have Sex and the City tours, we have a $139 Twilight tour. Look, if they were filming True Blood here, even I'd be black eyed crazy. Maybe this is not a bad thing, but coupled with our drug wars, gang-land shootings, and Olympics next year we are growing up.
It's Wednesday September the 16 around 6:57AM and
A-Team Movie News: Jessica Biel
The A-Team, currently filming in town is set to add the final cast members. "According to Variety*, Sharlto Copley (better known as Wikus Van De Merwe in District 9) and Jessica Biel have been enlisted into the cast, which already includes Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, and Quinton "Rampage" Jackson." (Cinematical)
Copley will play Howling Mad Murdock and Biel, "She's actually a general in the U.S. Army bent on capturing our heart-of-gold mercenaries." Of course she is. Hannibal: I love it when a plan comes together!
It's Tuesday September the 15 around 6:35AM and
Patrick Swayze (1952 - 2009): A Celebration of "The Swayze" Cannon
The Swayze cannon is very rich. Like Shakespeare, it has many different aspects. My favourite aspect of The Swayze is the Philosopher Hero characters evidenced in the mid-1980's to early 1990's. Before he got carried away with dancing and To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar. Honorable mention go to Steel Dawn, Uncommon Valor, and Next of Kin, but here are the Top Five Swayze Philosopher Hero films.
In a movie with Rob Lowe and Keanu Reeves, The Swayze, playing Derek Sutton, stands out as the only real man of the bunch. A hard drinking, wise cracking, hockey playing-philosopher.
Darrell Curtis. "Listen, Soda. You and Ponyboy, if the fuzz show, you beat it out of there. Hey, we'll get jailed, but you two will get the boys home, you know what I'm sayin'?" Stay golden Swayze.
He played Bodhi, the leader of "gang of surfers." Again, The Swayze is part-surfer, part-criminal, and part-philospher. This is just another of his zen master roles.
"Bodhi: [getting ready for their next robbery] 90 seconds Johnny. That's all I ask for, just 90 seconds of your life Johnny, that's it. This is our tatic, is we strike fear. Once you get them peeing down ther leg, they submit. Also about fear, fear causes hasitation, and hesitation, causes your worst fears to come true." [hands Johnny a shot gun]
2 - Red Dawn (1984)
Wolverines! Who else could credibly play Charlie Sheens older brother and fight communists who invade the USA? Only the Swayze, who sports a very amazing feathered hairdo and often a headband. He also matches wits with a very crusty Powers Boothe.
The Swayze's greatest legacy has to be Dalton. The tight shirt, or no shirt, wearing bouncer/philosopher. He spent half the movie sans shirt and ripped out a guys larynx, all while getting the girl. "All you have to do is follow three simple rules. One, never underestimate your opponent. Expect the unexpected. Two, take it outside. Never start anything inside the bar unless it's absolutely necessary. And three, be nice." Words to live by.
It's Monday September the 14 around 10:49PM and
Bradley Cooper Gets Huggy with Renee Zelleweger in Vancouver
(Photo via Radar)
Bradley Cooper, in town for The A-Team works out with his new gal pal, Renee Zelleweger. Or at least he keeps her from collapsing from her brittle bones and poor coordination. Whatever. I still don't get how Bradley Cooper bailed on Jennifer Aniston to start hanging out with Renee Zellewger. It doesn't make any sense does it? (Via Hello Magazine)
It's Sunday September the 13 around 10:21AM and
Robert Pattinson Tells Funniest Jokes to Kristen Stewart
When they aren't fooling around with each other in Vancouver, Twilight star Kristen Stewart likes to laugh at everything little thing Robert Pattinson says. He's so funny. (via Just Jared)
It's Monday September the 7 around 10:54AM and
Inglourious Basterds (2009)
Saw Tarantino's WWII revenge flick, Inglourious Basterds (trailer here), last week. I know, totally late to the party. I liked it, but it could have been better. That said, there are some classic scenes in this movie that will live on forever. The build up was probably too much, as even my description of it as a revenge film, doesn't really do it justice, and the marketing didn't really tell the whole story either. It's good, but will it end up on one of those best of lists someday? I'm not sure.
Here are a few thoughts, 11 of them actually:
1. Yes, Mr. Tarantino still has a foot fetish. He totally has key shots of Diane Kruger's feet and toes. Putting Kruger in a cast was a nice touch.
2. Film has one of the best eating scenes since Gary Oldman ate the steak in The Contender. This time it is eating pie. Actually it's the most uncomfortable scenes of eating ever put on film.
3. The marketing could have been much better. Imagine if they had used James Goodridge's poster from above? That Indiana Jones look never gets old (er, unless it is in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull). This version by Tyler Stout would have also worked.
4. Best thing Mike Myers has done in 10 years. Maybe longer. Notice he is ONLY barely worth watching as Wayne or playing some British dandy. Weird.
5. The German guy, Christoph Waltz, is most disgusting Nazi on film since Schindler's List. The actor is mesmorizing, terrifying, creepy and you can't keep your eyes off him.
6. There is one scene that does kind of a modern take on the March of Time in Citizen Kane. Orsen Wells-ian kind of things seem out of place.
7. The credit design was just awful. I think it's related to the marketing. But it seemed like they just lifted the credits from Jackie Brown and then changed to worse and worse type faces as they went along. Enough with the credit experience QT.
8. Mélanie Laurent is awesome. (Her character trailer)
9. I think this is the first time I think Tarantino didn't get the soundtrack right. I get it, Ennio Morricone is wicked cool. But I don't think it really worked in a WWII period. Maybe 20% of music worked. Could have been way better.
10. I think this movie would have been 100% better without Brad Pitt. Could have been tonnes of other people who would have rocked this role.
Bonus: Never organize a meeting in a basement bar. NEVER. EVER.
It's Sunday September the 6 around 10:03AM and
A-Team Filming in Vancouver
Will the new A-Team movie be the next GI Joe? Whatevs, it is apparently filming here in Vancouver until November complete with Rampage Jackson as BA Baracus. Side question: why are big movies that film here usually kind of not so great? (Via Vancouver Sun)
As a side note, IMDB currently lists Liam Neeson as playing Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith and Bradley Cooper as 'Face'. Neither of these sounds like a very good idea, particularly the Bradley Cooper part, as his latest movie is getting the worst reviews of the decade. Can anyone make a proper remake anymore?
It's Saturday August the 22 around 11:56AM and
The Hard Way (1991)
Encore Avenue is playing The Hard Way right now. The 1991 film starring Michael J. Fox and James Woods is about, "An action film star researching a role is allowed to tag along with a hardboiled New York cop, who finds him superficial and irritating." They do not make 'em like this anymore. Genius.
Ebert remarked, "There is nothing very remarkable about "The Hard Way," except for its comic energy, but the energy of this movie is everything, reminding me of the wisecracking, hard-boiled screwball comedies of the 1940s, back when they assumed the audience knew how to listen fast."
It's Thursday August the 20 around 8:25AM and
Ashey Greene Walks Her Dog, In Vancouver
Enough with the Twilight sightings of Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattison already. Yes, they are totally doing it.
But here's their costar Ashley Greene walking her dog around town in super large glasses. Is that to hide the shame of those nude pictures from the other week? We can only hope that Ashley and Vanessa Hudgens (also in town recently) took some cell phone photos together.
It's Wednesday August the 12 around 8:38PM and
The Ballad of Gi Joe
Love it. Especially Lady J and Baroness playing the clarinet.It's Monday August the 10 around 9:44PM and
Kristen Stewart Back in Vancouver
Rejoice Vancouverites! The Twilight cast is back in town. See more at The Insider. I'm sure the Twihards or Twilighters are literally wetting themselves in Delta or whatever.
It's Friday July the 31 around 7:49AM and
Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009) Trailer
Was kind of hoping the trailer for this would be awesome, and IT IS.
It's Sunday July the 19 around 11:32AM and
Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009)
Wes Anderson is back this fall with the stop motion telling of Roald Dahl's Fantastic Mr. Fox. The stills look kind of amazing. Can't wait to see a fox with Bill Murray's voice to be on the screen.
It's Tuesday July the 14 around 6:48AM and
Movie Trailer: TipToes (1993)
This was a joke movie trailer right? 1993 never seen heart warming comedy Tiptoes. Gary Oldman playing Benjamin Button before Bratt Pitt? I mean that is amazing. I'm guessing some bottom feeding PR flacks for Beckinsale and McConaughey have been trying to make this go away for like 6 years or so. It's still here. Need this on DVD. Now.
It's Sunday July the 5 around 9:38AM and
Weekend Pool Bloopers
I could watch pool bloopers and pool fails pretty much all day long. I mean ALL day long. Enjoy this my friends.
It's Sunday July the 5 around 9:24AM and
Praise Be: Edward Norton in a Woody Allen Movie
Still waiting to see Woody Allen's latest to Whatever Works, even though it sounds like it's not one of his best (Might check it out this afternoon). It's hard to hit home runs every time at the plate.
Like the above scene from Everyone Says I Love You where he got Edward Norton to dance, sing, and just be all kinds of awesome. Here's another clip of him and Drew Barrymore. This is exactly what I'd be like in a musical. Clumsy, sloppy, and ridiculous.
It's Monday June the 29 around 6:47AM and
Case of the greatest trailer ever?
Jeffrey Wells argues this might just be the greatest movie trailer of all time. "Most trailers try to reach the lowest-common-denominator dolts. This one went for the PBS wine-and-cheese crowd, selling the choreography, Alex Thomson's awesome photography and the splendor of northern Italy's Dolomite mountains."
He points out it isn't even on this list from IFC.
It's Tuesday June the 23 around 9:36PM and
The Hangover
Dear The Hangover movie. You had me at Bradley Cooper and Zach Galifianakis coming down the escalator Rain Man style. See also and in no particular order: Tiger, Mr. Chow, awkwardness of 'Holocaust ring', and end of movie slide show. That is all.
It's Sunday June the 21 around 8:02PM and
Buffy vs Twilight
Absolutely love watching Buffy kick Robert Pattison's ass. You will too. Now how about a Buffy-Twilight-True Blood mash up. I'd do it myself, but I'm lazy, and you knew that already. Besides who would you root for - I mean besides dreamboat Robby Pattison getting a stake in his chest. Eric vs Buffy? Oh My.
It's Wednesday May the 27 around 1:33PM and
Film: One Froggy Evening (1955)
Our fearless creative director just shared the Chuck Jones classic One Froggy Evening. Singing frogs are amazing. (Via Embury.org)
It's Wednesday May the 20 around 2:17PM and
I wish I was at a Wes Anderson Film Festival
Wes Anderson Trailer from Alex Cornell on Vimeo.
So good.It's Saturday May the 16 around 9:14AM and
Mesrine - L'instinct de mort trailer
This phrase almost doesn't compute. Bad ass french gangsters. This Mesrine movie, the second part actually, based on true events looks like a French Godfather. Coming to our shores this summer.
It's Friday May the 15 around 11:36AM and
The Thomas Crown Affair (1999)
That Magritte reminded me how much I enjoy seeing the 1999 version of The Thomas Crown Affair - and especially the opening few scenes. Such a fun movie.
It's Friday May the 15 around 10:47AM and
Star Wars: The Macgyver Opening
Mashing up Star Wars and the theme to Macgyver is awesome.
It's Friday May the 15 around 8:50AM and
The Maltese Falcon
Here's a new poster for the classic film, The Maltese Falcon, that is pretty rad. (Via Mondo)
It's Wednesday May the 13 around 9:33AM and
High Society - Who Wants To Be A Millionaire (1955)
Frank Sinatra and Celeste Holm perform "Who Wants To Be a Millionaire" in High Society.
It's Wednesday May the 13 around 9:28AM and
Praise Be: Diane Kruger
Diane Kruger is stunning. Absolutely stunning, even if Quentin Tarantino and his foot fetish is being all creepy and she is dating Pacey Whitter. Enjoyed her along for the ride in the National Treasure movies and can't wait to see her in Inglorious Basterds.
It's Tuesday May the 12 around 11:44AM and
Sammy Davis Jr.
We interrupt this broadcast to bring you a word from one of our benefactors, Mr. Sammy Davis Jr. "Stay cool."
It's Monday May the 11 around 7:10AM and
Julie & Julia
Speaking of Amy Adams here she is again in the upcoming Julie & Julia. Another movie, to add to State of Play, that features blogging. If anyone wants to make a movie, call me. Julia Child was all around amazing, so might be worth checking out. (via Kottke)
It's Monday May the 11 around 7:02AM and
Remeber VHS Labels?
This is awesome. Brings back memories of piles of VHS tapes and labels. By Hollis Brown Thornton
It's Monday May the 11 around 6:04AM and
Praise Be: Amy Adams & Coke
Two of my favorite things. Actress Amy Adams and a can of Coke. It doesn't get much better than this. Unless it is Amy Adams and Emily Blunt cleaning your bathroom.
It's Saturday May the 9 around 10:01AM and
Gene Kelly Tap Dances On Roller Skates (1955)
If I could move like this man I'd be 100% more awesome. And on Roller Skates no less. Genius. From It's Always Fair Weather (1955). [Via Kottke]
It's Saturday May the 9 around 9:32AM and
Praise Be: Grace Kelly
Enough said? Maybe not. But Grace Kelly is what glamor and movie stars are really all about. I could watch her in Rear Window and High Society a million times. Eat your heart out Julia Roberts. Bonus Mika for the playlist.
It's Friday May the 8 around 9:24AM and
Roman Holiday - The Poster
Gonna probably need a Vespa while we're over here. Woot.
It's Friday May the 8 around 7:16AM and
Roman Holiday (1953)
They don't make trailers like this anymore.
It's Thursday May the 7 around 8:53AM and
Star Trek 11 Opens Today
Kind of wish it was going to have Shatner and look like the above, but the new JJ Abrams Star Trek looks awesome! While we are at, and in the spirit, you have to watch this amazing Star Trek IV scene where original Scotty hacks his way into a sweet old Mac (PS: Deforrest Kelly was the bomb in this movie - look at that outfit. Also Star Trek IV is 23 years old. OMG). Oh, and how about Shatner singing Pulp's Common People all to the visuals of the animated series. So good.
It's Wednesday May the 6 around 7:01AM and
He's The Zissou
But seriously, really hoping the trip is a lot like a Steve Zissou adventure, directed by Wes Anderson, minus the sharks and pirates and stuff. (via Dunechaser)
"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go on an overnight drunk, and in 10 days I'm going to set out to find the shark that ate my friend and destroy it. Anyone who wants to tag along is more than welcome."
It's Tuesday May the 5 around 7:41AM and
The O'Jays - "Love Train" (1973)
Can't wait to be riding the train in Italy later this week. I know, smug right? Anyways, this song is awesome, and reminds me both how awesome the 1998 classic Whit Stillman film The Last Days of Disco was. It cemented Kate Beckinsale as an object of our affection, and featured this 1973 song by the O'Jays. And OMG, Stillman is actually directing his first movie since this with Little Green Men. His first film in 11 years. The man's a genius.
It's Friday May the 1 around 8:22AM and
Websites From the Past: Patch Adams (1998)
Laughter is contagious. And so to are websites from films that opened 10 years ago. 1999. Bill Clinton was president, the Euro was brand new, America was bombing Kosovo, Napster just debuted, MSN was just released, and Robin Williams was on top of the world. Patch Adams opened with a charming little "web page" that like Voyager probing the deepest reaches of our solar system is still going on long past it's shelf life.
The rollover states of the "links" are now legendary in the web design field - they're rainbows! And the media section had this great little things called "thumbnails" and "pop up video clips". This was web marketing for a film at the end of the 20th century. It was awesome. For those born after 1980, this was what the world was like pre-You-tube. Note the curious absence of Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, Digg. What? No social media? How did this movie make $26 million on its opening weekend without social media? I'm confused. (via Graham)
It's Friday May the 1 around 8:08AM and
Transformers 2: Revenenge of the Fallen Trailer
New Transformers trailer out. Giggidy. Still needs 25% more Megan Fox, although I'm pretty sure that at :26 of this Michael Bay makes the case for Blu Ray (I'm in).
It's Thursday April the 2 around 8:26PM and
Tilt Shift: Bathtub IV
Been meaning to post this since Monday, but my machine's at work had triple fails and support was letting me sweat until they fixed. But now I'm at home, watching Tilt Shift in video form wearing new sneakers. Life is good.
It's Tuesday March the 24 around 7:37AM and
Video of the Day: Notte Sento
Notte Sento (English subtitles) from napdan on Vimeo.
The countdown to my Italian vacation is on, and what better way to get excited than a pretty gorgeous short film about being stuck in Rome, featuring Vespas, a very pretty girl, and a lot of stop motion. Can't wait.
It's Wednesday March the 18 around 8:32PM and
Dramatic Chipmunk Redux
Yes. This is an old meme. Ancient in Youtube years. Whatever, this compilation of the Dramatic Chipmunk still somehow managed to inspire and delight some of us throughout the day. Enjoy. We did.
It's Saturday March the 14 around 10:48AM and
Gross Anatomy (1989)
I swear that I had a dream that referenced the 1989 Mathew Modine comedy Gross Anatomy. No, for reals. Must be the space pillow but I think I was actually telling someone what a classic it was. Was it this amazing tag line, "No one thought a rebel like Joe Slovak would make it through Medical School. But they didn't know Joe." Shivers down spine, right? Or was it just Mathew Modine's incredible Ken Doll hair? Movies with Daphne Zuniga, are always a good call.
It's Saturday March the 14 around 10:28AM and
One Crazy Summer (1986)
Oh man, I just barely woke up in time to catch some of the 1986 classic One Crazy Summer. That perfect combination of cheese, John Cusack, random animation, Demi Moore, the one, the only Bobcat Goldthwait, a really smug, young and jerky Jeremy Piven (awesome, like young Ari Gold on a Vacation), and even Joel Murray (brother of Bill!, and whom I totally missed that he was in Mad Men).
The boat building montage is amazing! Well, until the boat race scene. Genius. And the director, Savage Steve Holland maker of Better of Dead and One Crazy Summer. Well, he's now directing episodes of the new Jonas Brothers tv show. I smell a sequel! John Cusack could use a return to this. Why did it have to end.
It's Thursday March the 12 around 8:52PM and
The Legend of Chris Klein
Absolutely positive that between this best of clip from Chris Klein in the ridiculous new Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li and his sadly forgotten turn in Vancouver filmed The Long Weekend have confirmed him as the best thing to happen to cheese since brie. He's a genius. (via Popoholic featuring some delightful Moon Bloodgood as a bonus.)
And just a short word on The Long Weekend. It's not just a movie that features the amazing Vancouver bred Cobie Smulders from How I Met Your Mother. It's also what The Hollywood Reporter called, "Bottom line: A soft-hearted gross-out pic. If you're not a male between 17 and 23 and don't find the chance to see R-rated rejects from "America's Funniest Home Videos" a good thing, The Long Weekend will be a long and pointless haul." And somehow I still watched. In your face, I'm not in that target.
It's Monday March the 9 around 7:48AM and
New Star Trek Trailer
I've watched this new Star Trek trailer like 4 times now. J.J. Abrams is a genius, and seems to kicking Star Trek up a few notches. Looks ridiculously awesome. It look like what Enterprise was supposed to be, but with way less Scott Bakula. Which is surprising since Scott Bakula is amazing. And to get in the mood I watched one of the best Next Generation episodes ever "Yesterday's Enterprise." You know, where an old Enterprise comes through some space/time hole and disrupts the timeline and where the federation is at war with the Klingons and losing, badly. Killer.
It's Tuesday March the 3 around 8:37PM and
Eastbound & Down vs Devils Advocate
I hate moral TV dilemmas. Do i watch Eastbound & Down Chapter 3, or do I opt for the always classic The Devils Advocate (1997). Clearly PVR allows me to do both, but is that enough? I want both at the same time. Advocate wins, if only for Pacino being over the top and Charlize Theron in pre-oscar curly hair hotness.
It's Monday March the 2 around 6:23AM and
Trailer Park: Big Man Japan
Don't you just love the Japanese. They are just so awesome.
It's Sunday March the 1 around 11:19AM and
The Secret of My Succe$s (1987)
I mean clearly these movies, like The Pick-Up Artist and The Secret of My Success are from such a different era. But the feel like the same glass of '87 table wine. I don't have much to add, other than the fact that they don't really have such obvious theme songs anymore in films. Night Ranger's "The Secret of My Success" is no Jai Ho Can i just add that this is awesome:
"Brantley Foster, a well-educated kid from Kansas, has always dreamed of making it big in New York, but once in New York, he learns that jobs - and girls - are hard to get. When Brantley visits his uncle, Howard Prescott, who runs a multi-million-dollar company, he is given a job in the company's mail room. Then Brantley meets Christy Wills, who happens to be one of the top executives. Believing that the best way to win her over is by posing as an executive, Brantley decides to take a position under the name Carlton Whitfield, and soon things get unexpectedly out of hand."
It's Sunday March the 1 around 11:14AM and
The Pick-Up Artist (1987)
Remember movies and trailers like this? The Pick-Up Artist. Fun fact: This was written by the same human who wrote The Gambler and Bugsy.
It's Friday February the 27 around 7:34AM and
Movie Trailer Hall of Fame: Zardoz
John Boorman's Zardoz starring a very amazingly pony tailed and often shirtless and loin clothed Sean Connery just blew my mind. I may have to just yell out Zardoz, possibly with clenched fist, in a client meeting today. Heaven. (Via GMac and Premiere)
It's Wednesday February the 25 around 6:02PM and
Really? A New Robin Hood Movie?
What the heck? This is completely sacrilegious. They are remaking Robin Hood. Again. I don't get why you remake something that included this: Bryan Adams' "(Everything I do) I Do it for you". Kind of the best ballad of the entire 1990's. Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves is like essential in the 1990's Costner Cannon after Dances With Wolves, Waterworld, and Tin Cup.
But really what are they doing? Cate Blanchett and Russell Crowe in a $130 million Ridley Scott movie version called Nottingham? Please.
UPDATE: GMac adds, "It's kind of like remaking Godfather. Not cool."
It's Monday February the 23 around 10:38PM and
Mickey Rourke: Stella Artois Spokesman
Stop the presses. If you wanted a huge marketing campaign right now, hire Mickey Rourke, get him to do your beer commercial, viola. Move product. Repeat. This is a free one Stella, next time you pay. PS: The outfit is AWESOME and who is that in blue?
It's Sunday February the 22 around 7:42PM and
Praise Be: Mickey Rourke
Mickey Rourke accepts his Independent Spirit Award the other night. This could be the best acceptance speech I've seen, ever. He even thanks Vince McMahon from WWE. Can't wait for him to win tonight. (Via Frangry)
It's Tuesday February the 17 around 9:07PM and
The Ryan Reynoldsless Sequel To Waiting
Very funny Hollywood. A direct to DVD sequel to Waiting (2005). What alternative universe are we in where Ryan Reynolds is somehow too big of a star to be in something this bad. Does not compute. Neither does the fact that he is married to Scarlett Johansson. It makes no sense.
It's like some sort of alt-history fiction like those books where Hitler and Germany won WWII. Funny story, I suggested to my boss today that a real good idea would be an alt-history sitcom where Reagan actually does and George Bush becomes president in that first term. Hilarity. There is something wrong [Via Videogum]
It's Monday February the 16 around 11:43PM and
Godfather II: On February 22-27, March 1-2 at Vancity Theatre
The best sequel I can think of restored and looking fantastic is on the big screen at the Vancity Theatre (1181 Seymour St. - at Davie) February 22 - 27 and March 1-2 at 7:00PM. [Get tickets here]
Watch the trilogy trailer.
It's Thursday February the 12 around 11:39PM and
Hippies Cause intergalactic War
And now, in honor of the Olympic protesters, here's a video celebrating peace.
It's Wednesday February the 4 around 9:34PM and
Push
Saw the sneak peak of Push tonight. I can tell you that it was more entertaining than the entire season of Heroes so far. That kind of sums of my mini review. Can I say briefly that people who go to screenings are like what I would imagine the Mos Eisley Cantina looks like during the day shift. I'm just saying, the whole ticket giveaway crowd is a little off. Short thoughts about the film:
-Nice to see Bill Vince's name on the big screen one more time.
-Chris Evans is pretty marginal, but I'd still cast him ahead of Ryan Reynolds or Dane Cook.
-Dakota Fanning drinking. Genius.
-Special Appearance by Ming Na. I just like saying Ming Na.
-One place Heroes was/is better: On screen supers and subtitles. Fail.
-I could watch a whole movie about Camille Belle's eyebrows and lips. Yowza.
-The one super power about sound was like the 2009 version of Scanners. SUPER AWESOME FUN TIMES! In your face Hiro.
-Loved the dirty underbelly of Hong Kong. Well Played.
-Kudos to the special F/X teams for cheese enhancing the floating guns. Bravo.
It's Monday February the 2 around 9:38PM and
The Original Revolutionary Road
I really enjoyed Revolutionary Road - and the performances were great to watch all around. A few weeks back someone had a link to this scene from 1971's Carnal Knowledge showing a Jack Nicholson in fine younger form and a super smoking Ann Margret.
And to the highlights of Revolutionary Road, I think this captures some of my favorite things about it: "Speaking of the 1950s, I love the shot of the men getting off the train in the morning at Grand Central Station, a sea of hats and gray flannel cascading down the long stairway, on the way to some death-mill office job. Who would want to be a part of that?"
It's Saturday January the 31 around 3:01PM and
Veronica Mars Movie News
Please. Please. Please. Please. There is hope of a Veronica Mars Movie.
It's Saturday January the 31 around 1:01PM and
Gold: I love You, Man
I'm not whether it is the 'Here Comes Your Man' Pixies track or Jason Segel, or maybe it's Rashida Jones who I miss on The Office that I like about this.
It's Saturday January the 31 around 11:57AM and
Gold: Walken and Woody
Kind of enjoying this bit of Christopher Walken in Annie Hall. Need this on DVD like now. Absolutely love how insane Walken is and how indifferent Allen is. Gold.
It's Sunday January the 11 around 9:39PM and
Sofie Coppola Directs Paris of Dreams
Pretty sure we had a day nearly as cool as this back in May. Well, maybe not quite like Sofia's dream like campaign for Dior, but pretty close. (Fashiontography)
It's Thursday January the 8 around 10:31PM and
Army of Darkness/ Cold Play's Fix You Trailer
I know, Cold Play, but whatever. It makes a very fun re-imagined trailer for Army of Darkness.
It's Thursday January the 8 around 10:20PM and
Trailer Park: The Slammin' Salmon
Thank the maker. A new Broken Lizard movie, "The Slammin' Salmon", this time in the restaurant business, and featuring an Olivia Munn role. Good times.
It's Sunday January the 4 around 7:35PM and
Praise Be: Kate Winslet
Kate Winslet. Seems like she has been around forever, as if there was a time, when she wasn't in the spotlight. And thank god for that. As one writer put it, "She has finally become that rare thing: the female celebrity we all genuinely get. It’s partly that, at 33, she is now in her prime; it’s partly about our expectations (we’ve changed, too); and it’s a lot to do with timing. Women-we-all-get don’t come along that often, because they have to tick all the right boxes and chime with the zeitgeist."
That is all.
It's Saturday January the 3 around 3:33PM and
Short Conversations: Will Smith Part 1
Sort of can't believe I had this conversation a few minutes ago with my friend Graham. Really, Graham, Will Smith has never made a bad movie in his life? Are you crazy? This snow is doing some strange stuff to you sir. I'm kind of with Jeffrey Wells on Smith:
"The rest of Smith's directors have all been journeymen -- nice guy professsionals (Barry Sonnenfeld, Peter Berg) but mainly fellows who can shoot a film in focus, get it in on time, etc, but none of them visionaries or even marginally outside the box. 25 years hence which films will Smith be remembered for? Ali and what else? The man only has a few years to knuckle down and work with the AA-quality directors, or history will not remember him with any great respect or kindliness."
It's Wednesday December the 31 around 1:06PM and
Kevin Smith Writes Batman Cacophony. Plus a Dose of Liberal Fascism
I was out propping up the economy again earlier this week and stopped in at Golden Age on Granville to get something, and on my grumpy pants friend Gord's reco, I picked up the first of three issues of Batman Cacophony. This is the first one off comic I've bought in like 20 years - maybe longer. Maybe it was that it was breaking up this week's reading of Jonah Goldberg's Liberal Fascism (more on that later).
It was, as comics are, a quick palette cleansing read last night. Mostly because it has so much Smithisms to be read within. It starts timely enough with a mention to the economic crisis - this is the device that sets the whole story off - one involving The Caped Crusader, the Joker, and Smith's own evil creation from his Green Lantern writing, Onomatopeia. It's tough to envision the Joker after The Dark Knight and Heath Ledger's brutally insane take this summer, but Smith uses the comic medium to his advantage with the old green hair. Who else but Smith would pen the Joker saying, "I miss the bars. But throw one measly piece of POO at a guard and suddenly it's all bullet-proof glass for our hero." It's a fun little read, and I think part two is out today. This was certainly Smith's better offering in 2008 over Zack and Miri.
But Goldberg's book is an interesting one too, and I'm back at it (clearly...). In response to a longish opening shot at perceptions of Mussolini tenure as a right winger he writes, "Ah, yes. Those anti-elitist, stock-market-abolishing, child-labor ending, public-heath-promoting, wealth-confiscating, draft-ending secularist right-wingers!" The NDP's Jack Layton would be all over this guy circa 1919.
Update: On a slightly related note, Io9 asks the timely question, "Hippie Hatred: Does Marvel Comics Hate Hippies?" Kind of amazing!
It's Monday December the 29 around 11:01AM and
Boutique Casting & Euro Trip
David Letterman identifies some 'boutique' casting in the Tom Cruise film Valkyrie. Surprisingly this was the 2nd such reference in like 12 hours. Last night we watched 'Euro Trip' - one of our $7.99 Boxing Day DVD purchases at Best Buy - not sure why this scene cracked us up so much. It was funny that we didn't notice Matt Damon until the credits either.
It's Sunday December the 14 around 10:19PM and
Charming Wes Anderson Spot Featuring Brad Pitt en Moustache.
Wes Anderson + Brad Pitt in Yellow + topless photography + France = wacky Japanese commercial time. Being an advertising creative in Japan must be like winning the creative lottery. Is there anything they won't buy? Melon Pepsi. Flavored Kit Kats. God bless those gullible bastards.
It's Saturday December the 6 around 10:57AM and
Even in Zombie Form, I hate These Guys
Awesome. Just Pure awesome.
It's Monday December the 1 around 9:32PM and
Sometimes I totally feel like having a cat-sandwich too
It's Monday December the 1 around 9:19PM and
Canada: The Movie
New Vanity Fair has Canada's typical response to Australia's tourism fake movie starring Nicole Kidman.
It's Sunday October the 26 around 6:15PM and
Finally a Solution to the economic crisis
See more Natalie Portman videos at Funny or Die
Perhaps Gordon Campbell should have thought of this one before his pre-election spending give away. Next time.
It's Wednesday October the 15 around 10:58PM and
Thank God For Navy Seals
Well, another night of politics with debate number three taking place. But it wasn't really that entertaining. And I'm kind of over the whole thing. Thank god AMC was rocking alternate programming with a showing of 1990's "Navy Seals" with Charlie Sheen and Micheal Biehn.
Watching this pre-9/11 anti-terrorism movie was kind of amazing. Do you even remember a time when Charlie Sheen was a real life action movie star and not just a travesty of middle America sitcom acting? Bottom line this is pure genius cheese.
This scene kind of tells it all:
Hawkins: [driving on a bridge on the way to a wedding] I'm sorry guys but I cannot be apart of this funeral procession. I'm out of here [he jumps off the moving jeep, over the bridge and dives down in to the water about twenty feet below while shouting] Hawkins: SEE YOU LATERRRR! Chief Billy Graham: Whoa, did you see that, that guy's a crazy man! [they throw him his coat] Hawkins: THANK YOU! Curran: [to Graham] I hope he dies of pneumonia.
It's Sunday October the 5 around 9:17PM and
Fiddling While Rome Burns
Let me get this straight. The economy is like on fire or something and yet Beverly Hills Chihuahua made $29,000,000 this weekend. Sickos.
It's Sunday October the 5 around 8:43PM and
Way back: Career Opportunities (1991)
I'd totally forgotten the cameo by John Candy in 1991's often overlooked classic from the John Hughes cannon, Career Opportunities (trailer). This is just one of the many amazing things in this little gem.
I'm not entirely sure what it was about this movie. It's not particularly memorable, well, other than images of a young Jennifer Connelly roller skating and/or riding a rocking horse. But it had this kind of strange pre-Clintonian, pre-HD, pre-iPodness world view to it. It was Target before it got all branded. And, really, who didn't want to be trapped in a big box store?
And there is a fancy "Can't Hardly Wait" Blu-ray DVD. But no Career Opportunities Criterion. Not good.
It's Sunday September the 28 around 11:46AM and
Scarlett Johansson Weds 'Secretly' in Vancouver Area
Apparently Ryan Reynolds married Scarlett Johansson this weekend. I only found out when an Entertainment Tonight Canada producer emailed me this morning with the news and basically begging for help. "By now I'm sure you've heard this news. Please let us know if you hear where this took place or any other details. We'll credit you."
Apparently the wedding took place in a secret "remote wilderness resort" location just outside Vancouver. Count me, Woody Allen, and Kanye West among those dissapointed with Johansson's decision to marry Reynolds. She's like Kim Il Jung to me now.
It's Monday August the 18 around 9:11PM and
Quote of the day 1: Roseanne Calls out Angelina Jolie
"Your evil spawn Angelina Jolie and her vacuous hubby Brad Pitt make about $40 million a year in violent, psychopathic movies and give away three of it to starving children, trying to look as if they give a crap about humanity as they spit out more dunces that will consume more than their fair share and wreck the earth even more,"
Via Socialite Life.
It's Monday July the 28 around 9:26PM and
X-Files Movie: No One Believed
Despite Sam Sullivan making last Friday X-Files day, the new movie, I want to Believe failed to make much of a splash at the box office. Or as Defamer recounts, "$10.2 million
Sadly, not every beloved franchise to return to the big screen after an extended absence was greeted with the enthusiasm of a Sex and the City, as the tepidly reviewed The X-Files: You Had Me Until The Anal-Probe Business failed to attract much more than the most ardent Scullyite fundamentalists."
Ouch-y. But, for the record, it was better than just a mediocre episode of the show. Come on, here are 5 bits of awesome to behold: 1. Scully had great hair. 2. Mulder's 1st act beard is glorious. 3. One word: Skinner 4. It feels very dark and snowy. 5. Mulder's hermit lifestyle is kind rad.
It's Thursday July the 3 around 9:46PM and
Snap Judgements: Can you hate Panda Bears?
Honestly, I had no intention of writing about Kung Fu Panda when I woke up this morning. Then a friend in a bar after work said the following:
"Kung Fu Panda is the film of the year."
My initial response was, I'm going to smash my beer bottle in your face (I know, rage issues). But then, I decided that I wasn't sure I'd seen any movie to challenge that ridiculous. But what if I told you I didn't like Panda bears? Is that wrong? Thoughts? That is all.
It's Wednesday July the 2 around 9:46PM and
Hellboy on Inside the Actor's Studio
Is it bad that this clip of Hellboy on Inside the Actor's Studio making me want to see the movie more than the previously panned without seeing Hancock?
It's Wednesday July the 2 around 8:40PM and
Blockbuster Cliff Notes Review: Hancock
The annual Will Smith summer movie opened today (technically yesterday) with Hancock. "A hard-living superhero who has fallen out of favor with the public enters into a questionable relationship with the wife of the public relations professional who's trying to repair his image." Okay, drunk superhero in need of some bottom feeding media relations work. Got it. Oh, and Jason Bateman makes the movie practically must see anyway.
And lets be clear, Will Smith is like the 'King' of 4th of July weekend so he's so supposed to eat the box office. Sure, P. Diddy loves it but will it be any good. Defamer asks if Hancock will be half-cocked and then drops this bomb, "It managed to scare up a scant 34% at Rotten Tomatoes and that's only slightly better than Drillbit Taylor!". Ouch. But it's Jeffrey Wells who really spoils the fun over at Hollywood Elsewhere:
"Hancock is a cloddy but decent-enough thing at first but then -- wait for it -- it shoots itself right in the face with a .44 Magnum. It does this at the two-thirds mark with (a) an astoundingly ridiculous plot turn, (b) a totally absurd abandonment of logical behavior concerning a certain character, (c) an introduction of a tediously loathsome fat-faced villain who does nothing but bring everyone down and spoil the vibe, and (d) a ludicrous (and suddenly introduced) back-story dependency that is ridiculous in its complexity and certainly makes no rudimentary sense."
An even bigger mystery than Will Smith's Scientology school of xenus robots or whatever he's cooking up with Tom Cruise, is how Charlize Theron has been almost absent from any marketing of the film. Is she Hancock's secret love interest? Does she has super powers also?
So will I actually see it: Maybe when it hits cheap daytime prices and no crowds at the Granville 7.
It's Monday May the 12 around 9:06PM and
Megan Fox Take a Dip In Vancouver
Why yes. Yes I did know that there was new photos of Megan Fox on the Vancouver set of Jennifer's Body sort of topless. It looks a little cold for swimming around these parts if you ask me. I just hope to god she stopped drinking/eating Tim Horton's. That was really chapping my hide.
It's Monday May the 12 around 9:00PM and
Vancouver Film Notes: X-Files I Want to Believe Trailer
So the new X-Files movie filmed around town has an official trailer. Based on this, I have no idea what the film is about (other than the usual X-File-y things).
It's Friday May the 9 around 10:18PM and
Friday with Sad Kermit...
This great Kermit doing Needle in the Hay a la Royal Tenebaums is pretty wicked awesome. And honestly, kind of caps off quite the day. On the other hand, that video + the 2nd one = me watching the opening sequence to the movie and that actually salvaged the day.
It's Monday May the 5 around 6:35PM and
Megan Fox In Vancouver, whaaaaaaat?
So while one Vancouverite ruins Scarlett Johansson (honestly I thought Woody Allen had this covered), the current hottest woman in the universe, Megan Fox, is shooting a movie here called Jennifer's Body. This film's plot is ground breaking: "A newly possessed cheerleader turns into a killer who specializes in offing her male classmates. " Diablo Cody is the writer, but I'm not convinced of this combination.
PS: I'd like to know which of you Vancouver jerks let Megan go to a god damned Tim Hortons. Not cool.
It's Monday May the 5 around 6:22PM and
Vancouverite Takes Scar-Jo off Market
You had to know something, sooner or later, would drag me kicking and screaming from my rat hole. I honestly didn't think hearing that Scarlett Johansson getting engaged with Vancouver born Ryan Reynolds would be it, but here we are. One of our own marrying Scarlett and its this bit of smarmy box office poison? It's like marrying the Canadian version of Dane Cook, only funnierless. [Defamer]
It's Friday January the 18 around 8:25AM and
Happy Birthday Cary Grant
Today would be Cary Grants birthday. I saw two posts on the internets about it already. I'm dressed like a bit of a slob, which doesn't really say much about anything I may have learned from Mr. Grant. Whatevs. Might try to use the following North By Northwest quote at some point today:
"Now you listen to me, I'm an advertising man, not a red herring. I've got a job, a secretary, a mother, two ex-wives and several bartenders that depend upon me, and I don't intend to disappoint them all by getting myself "slightly" killed. " - Roger Thornhill.
It's Tuesday January the 15 around 12:24AM and
Conan The Barbarian: What is Best in Life?
Ever since I listened to Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier's Christmas Smodcast over the holidays and they talked for like 40 minutes about Conan The Barbarian, I can't shake this scene of Conan sharing what he thinks is best in life out of my head. Enjoy that.
It's Saturday January the 12 around 12:39PM and
Harlan Ellison on Paying Writers
Priceless rant by writer Harlan Ellison. Hilarious.
It's Wednesday January the 2 around 7:18AM and
David Cross And His Chipmunk Mad Money
David Cross kind of starts the New Year off right with a post about his 'Alvin and the Chipmunks money' that is really boss:
"Hello, David here. I've internally debated the merits of addressing my appearance in, (and thus tacit condoning of) "Alvin and The Chipmunks". I am not stupid nor unobservant. I knew going into this movie that I would be eating a lot of delicious shit for it. Usually I wouldn't give a shit about what everyone's feelings are about it, but I wasn't prepared for the level, or amount I should say, of vitriol that's been flung about like so much monkey poo."
(Via: Lindsayism & Goldenfiddle.)
It's Monday December the 10 around 10:00PM and
This is my Boomstick!
Encore Avenue was playing Army of Darkness tonight. One word: rad. Which tickled me mostly because for some reason I was in a Legion/70's era rec room bar in Toronto this week. Clearly trying to avoid the major douchery that was spilling from the earth's core/suburbs for the Bon Jovi concerts (mullets + cougars = a pure hell) was harder than it first appeared. On a light side the 5 Buds + Chili Nachos for $24.99 was all sorts of low brow fun. The fact that our bartender looked like Bruce Campbell was an added bonus. PS: how is Army of Darkness 15 years old already?
It's Thursday December the 6 around 6:42AM and
Who needs reasons...
Let's start today off with a special cocktail of typography and Trainspotting. Yum. (via Oli)
It's Wednesday October the 24 around 8:21AM and
What would NPH do?
What would Neil Patrick Harris do. Indeed. Posting will continue to be light around here, but this image will burn into your soul because it is so legen....wait for it....dary.
It's Tuesday October the 23 around 8:08AM and
Glen & Gary & Glen & Ross
This isn't safe for work kids, but somehow I managed to miss "Glen & Gary & Glen & Ross". Which is a pretty rad video to get you through a Tuesday.
It's Friday September the 28 around 7:21AM and
Musical Friday Trio
I think today needs musical numbers. It's been a long week. Friday's first video from the Buffy musical, "I'll Never Tell." Please tell me that this will someday play interactively on a big screen here in Vancouver?
And if you're going to have an great musical number, can Woody Allen + Ed Norton doing "My Baby Just Cares For Me" be a bad idea?
And things are better in threes. Frank Sinatra and Bing Crosby in High Society singing "Did you ever?" Alternately you could check out "Who Wants to be a Millionaire."
It's Friday September the 28 around 7:05AM and
The Rock is Kind of an Idiot Sort of Maybe
This is truly awesome. The Rock, sorry, Dwayne Johnson has an interview in Sports Illustrated about his new Disney movie, The Game Plan.
Q: What's the coolest thing you got to do at Gillette Stadium during the shoot?
A: By far it was to run out onto the field and just take snaps at the 50-yard line. To get out on that field and essentially win the Super Bowl in the movie, and hold my little girl up. That was the coolest thing.
Let me get this straight. He GIVES away the ending!?! What an effing tool!
Related:
Watch The Game Plan Trailer and ponder the question Slashflim asks, "Could this be to The Rock what Mr. Nanny was to Hulk Hogan?"
It's Thursday September the 27 around 7:51AM and
iTunes Lame Goes to 11
Dear iTunes, I'm so sick of your crap. Can you please get your shit together so that we can watch TV shows and the Wes Anderson short Hotel Chavalier instead of just lame music videos? Thanks for nothing. Jerks. Get your crap together. That is all.
It's Tuesday September the 18 around 6:54AM and
Judy Law is Pretty, And Makes Lame Movies.
Since the Vancouver Film Festival is coming up shortly, I almost forgot to post my favorite thing from Toronto's festival. My friend Liam who I sentenced to a stay at our Planet Hoth office writes about his brush with Jude Law. "Even though I am straight, I can admit that. He is hot. However, I just sat down and realized what an idiot I am for not telling him what a shit movie “The Holiday” was" [smogsmogsmoggysmogerson.blogspot.com]
Please note Liam's obnoxious URL. So smug.
It's Tuesday September the 18 around 6:47AM and
Wes Anderson's AT&T Ads and Other Ads I've Seen
Here is a nice little look at some recent advertising goodishness. I know what you're thinking. "Post something about Vancouver, ahole". Well, when I had moments yesterday where I could have felt like the man in this unfortunate Rock Paper Scissors video and often feel like I have to deal with my own 'send to Mordor' bunker. The question is, do you like your ads directed by famous directors? Featuring insane newly named snackfoods, or in massive 40-story hotel wrappings? Or do you even care? If my comments we're back working I'm sure you'd tell me.
1. I don't really care what Film Drunk says, I really like these AT&T spots directed by Wes Anderson. Okay, yes they are smug and self satisfying. And?
2. I can't even stand football, but since these are directed by Michael Mann and feature music from his Last of the Mohicans which is a rad movie, i will grant you this Nike Football ad is kind of okay.
3. Or you can check out P. Diddy's spot for his new "Unforgettable" fragrance that Best Week Ever describes as "I mean, what could be more unforgettable than being held against a wall in some kind of backstage maintenance hallway and joylessly having your body groped by some champagne-drunken rap guy?"
4. I couldn't find the real spot for this that was playing during the Emmy's last night. But the idea of the Oreo Cakester is completely insane. I mean sure they can't seem to get Iraq 100% right, but for the love of all that is holy they have soft cake Oreos. Amazing. And the fact that they ask you to look for them in the Oreo Aisle is genius. Pure genius.
5. Did Jim Beam really wrap the Rio Hotel in Las Vegas? Yes, Yes they did.
Bonus: Yes, The New iPod Nano ad officially marks the end of Feist being not quite as cool as she was a few months ago.
It's Tuesday September the 18 around 6:45AM and
Time Machine: Blame it on Rio
I remember this movie had virtually everything you could ask for:
1. Even back in '84 creepy Michael Caine was already playing incompetent old fart. Check.
2. His 'best friend' played by Joseph Bologna. Famous both for the cool sounding meat name and being another classic artifact from the 1980s, TV's Rags to Riches ("A wealthy businessman decides to soften his "cutthroat" image by adopting some children. He winds up adopting six girls and isn't prepared for the problems that come with them."). Check!
3. Very nubile Demi Moore. Woo Hoo! I mean, Check!
4. Michael Caine's insanely large glasses.
5. Why would Demi Moore's friend, played by a then 17-year old clearly cast to make Demi look fugly as Bologna's daughter possibly want to fall for Caine? Retardedly awesome! Check.
6. Just let Roger Ebert explain the entire 'dirty old man' concept of the film.
7. The New York Times review was awesome: "However, 'Blame It on Rio' is not simply humorless. It also spreads gloom. It's one of those unfortunate projects that somehow suggests that everyone connected with the movie hated it and all of the other people involved." Check!
It's Monday September the 17 around 6:10PM and
Monday Evening Amazitude: Push it to the limit
I can't image living in a world without a Spaceballs animated series. It's like Christmas.
I'm not sure what about the Squirrel Obstacle Course exactly caught my eye, but I can tell you that I stayed for the funked out reggae power grooves.
Seriously, could the internets not get any better? Turkish Star Wars. I'd post more too if I could punch rocks.
And in other news:
1. Dear Prince, stop being such a douche. Thanks.
2. I think this link of Kristen Bell and Hayden Panettiere at the Emmy's just melted the brain of one of my co-workers. In retrospect, this may be the point the universe started collapsing upon itself. We'll see.
3. Happy day. The New York Times is ending its pay firewall tyranny tomorrow.
4. Trailer for Juno has so much good in it, my day has actually gotten better because of it.
5. Lastly, Film Drunk reminds me of two things. 1. Scanners was fantastic. 2. Michael Ironside RULES.
It's Thursday September the 6 around 8:07AM and
Question of the Day: Are the Pitt-Jolie's Vampires?
Best Week Ever asked this question yesterday, and it is still running around my head since it has to be true-ish. "Are the Pitt-Jolie’s Actually Really Gorgeous, Coked-Up Vampires? Because, most normal people like to spend a day, I don’t know… SLEEPING… or NOT FLYING TO A NEW INTERNATIONAL CITY… or just HANGING OUT AT HOME WITH THE KIDS. How on Earth do these people muster up the energy to do something every single day and night while travelling? Are they some sort of hyperbreed, like the precogs in Minority Report?"
Obviously. I'm just saying.
It's Tuesday August the 21 around 7:24AM and
Woody Allen's Cassandra's Dream
My question watching this new trailer for Cassandra's Dream, the next Woody Allen movie is this: what was he really doing during the period between 2000's Small Time Crooks, and 2005's Match Point. It's like some sort of a 6-film black hole that really makes no sense. At all. I mean what really was the deal with the 2003 Jason Biggs vehicle, Anything Else? This new film, looks really good.
It's Friday August the 17 around 10:47AM and
A Message To Cyclists
This video is perfect for all the bike riders out in Vancouver. They are right up there with flip flop wearers if you ask me. But British Animation show Monkey Dust gets their smug attitude just right in "The Cyclists". While you're at it, check out their take on "Pretentious French Cinema." (Via Calvin)
It's Tuesday August the 14 around 6:53AM and
Superbad = Vancouver Teen life
Sure wish my teen life in Vancouver became a huge summer movie called Superbad. If my teenlife was to become a movie it would be superlame. Damn you Seth Rogen. [Canwest News Service]
It's Tuesday August the 14 around 6:25AM and
Tuesdays Virtual Nature Hike
For a minute, I was transported to another magical world where horses ride in cars, eat cheeseburgers from the drive thu, get you beers and answer your phone, and even watch TV but then I woke up. Or did I? To wake me up from this wonderful dream I had to watch this video of some bad assed killer whales attacking some gray whales to restore the delicate balance of nature. Bastard whales! As Dr. Ian Malcolm might say, "Oh, yeah. Oooh, ahhh, that's how it always starts. Then later there's running and screaming."
It's Tuesday August the 14 around 6:18AM and
Type Fight Showdown: Helvetica Edition
From Dougal Muir, who ended his passionate argument against Helvetica with a "I am still very much in love with type" but began with this: "The film Helvetica was one of the most dangerous pieces of propaganda that has happened to typographic design in years. It may even have the power to set back the development of typography fifty years."
To the head of the local chapter of the GDC (Graphic Designers of Canada) who starts with, "My respected colleague Dougal makes some interesting points in his comment here, and I don’t disagree with him, but believe he’s being overly dramatic and don’t appreciate his stern public condemnation of either GDC or VFS for co-hosting the screening of the Helvetica documentary" and ends with something so smug that I bet Douglas Coupland wished he'd thought of it first, "My name is Mark Busse. Google me."
So sweet. Who knew the city's designers could be so fabulous. This is like a smarter Heidi vs LC fight on The Hills.
It's Tuesday August the 14 around 6:14AM and
Vancouver Film Notes: Jessica Alba Returns
And did you here that poor Jessica got an STD from baseball stud Derek Jeter. Classy. [24 Hours]
Related:
Jessica Alba's dog poops in Robson St. Stores [August 10, 2006]
It's Monday August the 13 around 6:30AM and
1960s Screwball Advetising Comedy
They really don't make 'em like this anymore.
1. Who writes like this anymore? Lines like "Just what the world needs, a good 10-cent drunk! " and "Jerry Webster: Okay, so I've sewn a few wild oats. Carol Templeton: A few? You could qualify for a farm loan!" are a delight.
2. How about a tagline like this: "A riotous new twist in the art of gentle persuasion!"
3. Three words: Anne B. Davis. (for the uninitiated, that's Alice from Brady Bunch)
4. For real, check this clip.
5. Does the plot really revolve around a fake product called VIP? Which then turns out to be a confectionary that makes you drunk. Why yes, yes it does. There hasn't been this much drunken fun since the 1987 episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation when the crew was infected with a virus that makes you drunk and we find that Data is 'fully functional'.
It's Monday August the 13 around 6:25AM and
Buzz Dump: Not So Rush Hour
Of course, any Monday starting with a 1984 clip of Keanu Reeves interviewng a teddy bear is going to be the best day ever. Okay that overtates things doesn't it. But here are some bits to get you going:
*I posted this clip of Minnesota State Fair on a Stick last year. And quite frankly it is still full of just as much wonderment and amazingness as it was last year.
*in honor of the film Superbad starting this week, you gots to have a little Panama to get things started.
*In honor of The Hills season 3 starting tonight (and of the Season 2 I may have just bought), this is the most ridiculous show I've seen. "Britain's Youngest Brides" My jaw is on the floor. And that kind of hurts.
*We're over Megan Fox, for now, and have moved on to Kat Von D.
*What in the heck happened to Parker Posey. Wait, what the hell happened to the creator of Gilmore Girls. This is a joke right?
*Radar brings us a fairly amusing "100 Worst Places to Die".
*The New York Times seem to be trolling for hits on their blog with the Freakonomics post "If You Were a Terrorist, How Would you Attack?" And no, I'm not judging. This is wicked blogging.
*Since last week was all about Helvetica, it's nice to see a major article in the New York Times Magazine feature the birth of the new font for the US Highway system, Clearview.
*Kind of really looking forward to reading "Cool it: The Skeptical Environmentalist's Guide to Global Warming."
*What is it with Andersons and wacky and directing? Or in this case Andersson. A selection of Swedish commercials by Roy Andersson.
*Documentaries rule. Have you heard about: Who Is Harry Nilsson? How about The King of Kong? And yes, In the Shadow of the Moon looks good.
*I took a certain amount of glee that Rush Hour 3 only took in $50.2 million this weekend. Not that this isn't a lot of money, in fact it's too much, this is like the Two and a Half Men of movies. Lots of reviews amused me, particularly this line in The Star, "Rush Hour 3 is a blockbuster sequel filmed with the enthusiasm of jury duty and as barren of novelty as a burned-out souvenir stand."
*Joe Cocker and John Belushi Feeling Allright.
*Last week James Leong of Vancouver won the 2007 Scrabble Player's Championship. At least we can win something in this city. I'm looking at you Canucks.
*Last but not least. How amazing is Creed on The Office? His blog is dope (remember he has a blog called Creed Thoughts). Check this, "The other day, I overheard some dudes at work – the fatso and the fruit – and they were talking about some internet video of water buffaloes fighting lions. I don’t know about you, but that’s the kind of thing I can build a whole night around. I stopped at the supermarket on the way home and picked up some things to get me in the mood: Buffalo jerky, buffalo wings, Frosted Flakes, some cupcakes, and a bottle of white wine. (Side note: I couldn’t find any lion-related items at the store, so I settled for the Flakes because of the Tiger. It was the best I could do.) When I got home, I was really jazzed for a good old-fashioned jungle fight. " (More Creed with Top 10 Creed Moments)
It's Tuesday August the 7 around 10:57PM and
Helvetica: The Movie Screening
So i checked out the special screening of the movie Helvetica tonight. I so wanted to title this post, Hell-vetica, but couldn't justify it. No, I'm not a type geek, kids. And yes, it is a movie about a typeface called Helvetica. Although, after the one designer lady kept talking crap about Helvetica because it was the font of all the companies that supported both the Vietnam and Iraq wars, I'm sold on this font. The more big souless companies that use it, the better. Helvetica it all I say! I think we should delete the rest. Except Courier in Final Draft. Here's a clip of the pretty amusing Erik Spiekermann.
Here are some brief highlights from the event:
1. Goaties. Lots of Goaties. You need them to be a proper designer.
2. Douglas Coupland, who was on the post film panel, interupted his introduction to talk about himself. This is just plain deserving of pretty amazing t-shirt with the word "smug" written in helvetica on it. At first I didn't like this move, but now, I kind of think I love it.
3. Mr. Coupland doesn't like Courier 12.
4. Since I know people that still use it, and i know I once did, let's give some props out to the magic that is comic sans.
5. The after party cheese was just chedder cubes. I'm pretty sure this means that chedder is the helvetica of cheeses, so this was rather fitting. There was also mustard. Not an important fact, but still, I liked that. Both went well with the $1 cheeseburger I got at McDonalds before going in. (Note: There is a new McDonalds on Granville and Smithe).
More on this later maybe. Who knows...Pretty sure after posting this, i too could use one of those smug helvetica shirts. I'm okay with that.
It's Wednesday July the 25 around 7:12AM and
New Wes Anderson, Better than Mace in the Face
Finally, the trailer for The Darjeeling Limited is up. And the movie comes out September 29th. One line already cracks me up: "I love you too, but I'm going to mace you in the face."
It's Tuesday July the 10 around 7:53AM and
Must Watch Video: Internet Crash
Breaking News: All Online Data Lost After Internet Crash This is pretty much the best thing ever, especially the animated GIFs of Linus from Peanuts and the line about ABC playing Americas Funniest Home Videos to make up for the lack of Youtube. Too awesome for words.
It's Wednesday July the 4 around 6:47AM and
Optimus Prime Can't Get Served At McDonald's
This is pretty amazing from over at Gizmodo, the fine art of wearing a Transformers helmet and trying to order at a drive-thru. Damn you Michael Bay! Damn you!
It's Wednesday July the 4 around 6:43AM and
Tribute To The Norm-ism
This is pretty amazing, I couldn't watch another episode of Cheers if you paid me (well, that's not true, you could pay me of course). But celebrating the art of the Norm-ism, which is a hard gag to keep churning out every episode. Ken Levine recounts the reality of writing 200+ of these.
It's Tuesday July the 3 around 7:34AM and
Who Needs A Kwik-E-Mart? Not Coquitlam...
Everyone is writing about it. The Simpsons movie marketing genuis that is 7-11's transformed into Kwik-E-Marts. Yeah cool. Blah blah blah.
But here's what I don't get, really this was the chosen location: 1198 Lansdowne in Coquitlam. Come on isn't that like putting it in Shelbyville. Seriously, not that cool to head to the Co-Q. Thank you, come again.
It's Tuesday July the 3 around 7:07AM and
Transformers Goes Bananas?
Best thing I read all weekend was Anthony Lane in The New Yorker (smug alert) on "Transformers":
"Fortunately, his car, a trusty yellow Camaro, is in fact a saintly Autobot that has been sent to protect him. This shield-the-kid plot is pilfered from 'Terminator 2,' and there are matching nods to 'Godzilla' and the recent 'King Kong,' but, if you really want to know what 'Transformers' feels like, think of a hundred-and-thirty-five-minute, hundred-and-fifty-million-dollar retread of 'Herbie Goes Bananas.'"
PS: I find it hilarious that GM thinks they will sell more cars because of this movie. Unless that Camaro turns into a god damned robot, it ain't happening, saavy?
It's Tuesday June the 19 around 6:14PM and
Evangeline Lilly Salutes YVR
Somehow I managed to miss Evangeline Lilly in the Vancouver Airport. She was angry about it too, clearly. Next time Kate.
The Superficial: "Although for some reason it's way less annoying than when Britney Spears or Avril Lavigne do it. Probably because she's so adorable. It's like a puppy trying to bite you with its tiny little mouth. You just want to shake you head side to side and go, "Who's a little princess? You are! You are!"
It's Monday June the 11 around 8:37PM and
Local Documentary Takes on The Business of Getting High
Any documentary produced locally in Vancouver that starts it's trailer with Ronald Reagan gets my vote. I was going to start my post off about The Union: The Business Behind Getting High by calling the filmakers a bunch of filthy hippies - especially director Bretty Harvey, but then it just won Outstanding Documentary Feature at the 2007 Winnipeg International Film Festival. So there goes that.
Maybe the irony that while I post this - finally - I'm watching the Beverly Hills 90210 Season 2 episode where the track team is high on steroids (seriously, the track team?). That so kind of meta. I mean Dylan actally talks about Steve's gonads. Aloha! I feel like Mr. Hand in Fast Times, "What are you, people? On dope?"
I haven't seen the final cut, yet, but this looks like a big fat juicy documentary without either Al Gore or Micheal Moore. That alone is worth checking it out. I'm sure when Harvey finds this posts and me calling him a filthy hippy, he'll have some more information for us.
It's Monday June the 11 around 8:26PM and
Another Video Competition
Darren Barefoot is still working it, even though he's left town. He wrote this morning about a video contest from Canada Place searching for what makes Canada great. "Whether it’s a game of road hockey or shoveling the driveway, we’re looking for fun and imaginative video clips that highlight the Canadian experience."
This ends June 19. if you can't beat the lame sample video, than I can't help you. And if you didn't want to bother, how amazing is this call out: "It’s time to put on your thinking toque and get filming. The more outrageous the better! Just remember to keep it safe and clean." Thinking toque? Bwhahahahahaahahah!
It's Wednesday June the 6 around 11:05PM and
The Chair is against the wall
AMC was playing Red Dawn all night long today. That is just totally awesome. Let me count you five reasons this is amazing (almost as good as Family Guy's Red Dawn: The Musical):
1. Two words: The Swayze
2. A young Powers Booth.
3. 1984 Cold War was er"fun"?
4. Bonus Jennifer Grey pre-Dirty Dancing
5. Considerably less creepy Charlie Sheen.
It's Tuesday June the 5 around 10:35PM and
Foul Ball: Blog Will Eat Itself
Hardy har har, spammers. Our posting schedule was thrown out of wack when some spam robots decided to eat The Vancouverite back end. Thanks for that. Jerks. Hence my leading off with the Rolling Rock Foul Ball commercial. Anyway, I've taken comments down for now, whatever. But posting will continue thanks to the amazing Mr. Carter who figured out the old customer service angle at the hosting co.
Rejoice! Grumpy opinion continues...starting now. I mean tomorrow. Maybe.
It's Thursday May the 17 around 9:19AM and
Nicolas Cage Thursday Explosion
Our dear friend Rib sent in this awesome Nicolas Cage Japanese commercial. Amazing. Here's another one. And another. And another.
It's Tuesday May the 15 around 11:06AM and
Ahoy! Bruce Campbell Rules
This pretty much the best thing that happened today. Bruce Campbell, a wicked looking den, a piano, and the lounge-y-est version of "Hungry Like A Wolf" ever. Thanks to Jake G for passing this blessed gem along.
It's Tuesday May the 15 around 7:13AM and
MacGruber!
The latest MacGruber episodes are so amazing. I love that he's gone beyond pure MacGyver parody and now "MacGruber needs a drink before things explode". Take that Hasselhoff.
It's Friday May the 11 around 6:19AM and
The Wrath of Penelope Cruz in Vancouver
So I think we all know that Penelope Cruz has been filming a movie in town. This is all fine and good, but it sure has been frustrating to see cool New York cabs at various places. Like the the other night at the Art Gallery. But the real news is, well, I'd better let Lainey explain this: "That Penelope Cruz has moved from Josh Hartnett to Lenny Kravitz and the two are making Spanish rocker sexytime prompting the usual conundrum whenever she hooks on to someone new: is she Bearding or Where’s the Purse?" Oh brother. Thank you Tom Cruise.
PS: Little known fact. the movie, Elegy, is written for screen by Nicolas Meyer. He wrote Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. Okay. Can't resist more Khan links. So awesome.
More:
*Penelope Goes Back to School [PopSugar]
*Stars Shooting in Vancouver's Gastown [Canada.com]
*Peter Sarsgaard and Debbie Harry Join "Dying Animal' [Cinematical]
*Penelope and Ben Kingsley were holding hands [Now Public]
*Penelope Cruz Dating Lenny Kravitz? [The Grumpiest]
It's Thursday May the 10 around 6:57AM and
You Can't Stop The Beat, Walken
The movie Hairspray looks like a complete disaster. Anything with John Travolta in drag is a no fly zone if you ask me. But a poster with Christopher Walken like this? Well, you can't just ignore that kind of amazingness now can you?
It's Tuesday April the 24 around 11:27PM and
Abide: The Big Lebowski
This is the perfect way to end Tuesday or start Wednesday. With the Dude in The Big Lebowksi. See also: "They peed on my rug." Bonus: Big Lebowksi Trailer Remix Don't forget, the next Lebowski Fest is in July in Louisville Kentucky. How insane does that sound? Abide.
Not related but I wanted to post anyhow. Buddy Holly "That'll Be The Day". [Via Exquisitely Bored in Nacogdoches]
It's Monday April the 23 around 7:36AM and
Two Foot James Bond, Seriously
This is pretty much amazing. "Petite like a potato."
It's Sunday April the 22 around 9:30PM and
A Message From Al Gore on Earth Day
More Earth Day shenanigans. "Sunday's Earth Day, so suck it Neptune." Check out SNL's Weekend Update. Last through the main part to see Will Forte's Earth Day song. Priceless. Speaking of Earth Day and SNL, Scarlett Johansson's monologue for no reason at all. But seriously, Earth Day is "the Festivus of the environment movement". Does that mean I can rent a hummer and keep it running all day long to celebrate? Wait, no, that is wrong isn't it?
And then there is this:
It's Thursday April the 12 around 6:10PM and
"Machete" at GM Place
On the brighter side, apparently on the radio this morning, Danny Trejo was interviewed from the Canucks game while he was out having a smoke...he said that he and Robert Rodriguez are shooting "Machete" this summer. Quite frankly I could have used Machete at around 1:00 with all the yahoos!
According to the magic of instant messanger we learned, "Trejo was out having a smoke and the Beat radio station's Benjamin the Butler ('some pompus english intern') interviewed him about the Canucks and then asked him what he was doing here. He's shooting Stargate...it's okay we like money too. Then he got all pumped up and let it fly that he is in Grindhouse, and that Rodriguez and him were going to shoot "Machete" this summer."
This reinforces both my distaste for hockey and morning radio. Bravo!
It's Monday April the 9 around 7:56AM and
Yeah, George Micheal
The new movie, Superbad seems pretty fun. Almost as cool as the new Die Hard Trailer.
It's Friday March the 30 around 10:35AM and
Best. Video. Ever.
This will get you through the better part of your Friday.
It's Tuesday March the 27 around 11:17AM and
Tuesday. Sailing Away With Christopher Cross.
Sigh. Thanks JM you art terrorist.
It's Wednesday March the 21 around 7:55AM and
Damn it feels good to be a gangsta
Somedays you just feel like this, non? That's all I got.
It's Monday March the 19 around 6:49AM and
Zodiac and David Fincher's time machine to the late 60's
I thought for the 1,000th post on this blog (really? 1,000? I'm never going to get that time back. Also does this enshrine me as blog nerd? Sigh.) that I could talk about Zodiac, and director David Fincher. Last week a friend asked me to list my Top 5 directors working today. I felt like John Cusak in High Fidelity. Well. Fincher is on the list for sure although I'm not sure I could choose between him and Wes Anderson. Throw in Scorsese, Spielberg, and in that 5th spot I don't know - Coen Brother? Sam Mendes, Soderbergh, Alexander Payne, Spike Jonze, Ang Lee. Hard to say, and lists are lame.
Anyway. Where was I going? Zodiac. Right.
This film is good. Really good. Not only is it a change in direction for Fincher, it is just dead sexy. For 2 hours and 40 minutes you get taken back in time. Fincher rebuilds the past in ridiculous detail. Its a movie that doesn't go very far, and you already know how it ends - and yet, you hang on your seat anyway watching the cops and newspapermen get obsessed with the Zodiac killer.
Let me just run down how many things are amazing about this film: Anthony Edwards has the best hair piece, EVER. Robert Downey Jr. makes me want to roll down to Edward Chapman and get about 15 ascots/cravats. Seriously amazing. The smoking! Someone in my office this week claimed he was going to just start smoking at his desk. I think that is a great idea. The shout out to the Slinky on the TV set in one scene. Mark Ruffalo - who has the 2nd best outfits after Downey - eats Animal Crackers throughout the movie. I want some. Donovan's "Hurdy Gurdy Man". Overhead shots. Lots of overhead shots - particularly the one of the Golden Gate Bridge. Watching the building of the Transamerica Pyramid in seconds. Nods to blue girl drinks (a secret code on Gyllenhall?) and the hot Toddy. Brilliant. Although all of this was in jeapardy because the marketing people think this movie is Seven all over again. It's not.
It's Thursday March the 15 around 7:45AM and
1980's Flashback: Small Wonder
Small Wonder. This was an absolutely terrifying show from the blessed 1980s. Again with the robots, this time in the guise of a little girl!
It's Wednesday March the 14 around 8:15AM and
Praise for 'The Fall Guy'
Can we just flash back to early 1980's one more time this week? Come on. For me. How amazing was The Fall Guy? Need I say anything more than this synopsis:
"Colt Seaver is a combination bounty hunter and stunt man. He drives a big GMC truck with a eagle painted on it's hood. He chases after "bad guys" and returns them to the Los Angeles area. He has two companions, Howie and Jodie. These two companions usually follow Colt in his adventures and sometimes they are on there own."
PS: Lee Majors rules. On another note, was Colt Seaver related to Dr. Jason Seaver - everyone's favorite stay at home shrink? That would be awesome. And yes, I went to Alan Thicke's website...
It's Tuesday March the 13 around 7:46AM and
Engine Room...Where's My Drink?
I couldn't sleep last night. Stupid daylight savings time. Prolly not it's fault - but someone needs to take the blame. Speaking of blame, did someone get fired at Microsoft for this whole Outlook debacle of this time change? On second thought, I am certain. Thankfully Arthur was on. Dudley Moore, pure genuis.
And seriously, is anything more amazing than "Arthur's Theme" by Christopher Cross? (See above if you doubt it). Thank you 1981. Cut to: Arthur laughs Enjoy that in your head. All day long.
PS: John Gielgud was on fire in this movie. For realz.
It's Monday March the 12 around 7:00AM and
The Curious Case of the 300, Crab Claws, and the Hillbilly
Let me begin my thoughts about the new movie "300" with this. Comic book versions of history turned into movies are no substitute for actually reading or understanding history. It's smug of me to be all preachy about this, but then you didn't have to sit next to the hillbilly half-wit I did Saturday afternoon at the screening. Good lord, it miust have been a 2-for-1 coupon day for residents of Delta at the Paramount. I particularly enjoyed how after getting ketchup and mustard all over his hands he proceeded to lick them like a dog. Ever hear of a napkin, Jed? I'm pretty sure Herodtus is rolling over in his grave at the thought of all this.
Anyway. The movie wasn't that bad - although I had higher hopes. Slate's reviewer Dana Stevens covers much of what is wrong with this flick. And don't get me wrong, there's lots to like. I mean, Lena Headey for one. Hello! But the problem is that the average viewer will only get this vague sense of what any of this means. If proper reviewers and writers are desperate to make some Iraq analogy of who George W. Bush is supposed to be in this, you have to think that we're desperate. The esteemed Victor Davis Hanson comments. The bottom line is that the aveage viewer(read: hillbilly) will think this, "Just ass kicking that kicks ass that, while said ass is getting kicked, is kicking yet more ass that’s hitting someone’s balls with a hammer made of ice but the ice is frozen whiskey." Even if it were true. Sadly, this is more true, "Imagine a large cast trapped in a series of spectacular screensavers." HEH. And The Daily Gut's Jim Treacher has more including his own world of being a, "bloodthirsty fascist who thinks war and humor can sometimes coexist".
I think the movie jumped the shark, probably, the moment there was a giant mutant with crab claws as arms. I kid you not. It was like the classic Sea Galley "We've Got Crab legs" commercial. (Thank you You Tube as usual)
It's Sunday March the 4 around 10:16PM and
We need to talk about your TPS reports, now
In preperation of what will likely be, "a serious case of the mondays" an appropriate Superfriends/Office Space mashup. With that in mind here are a few more nuggets of truth from the internets:
*Cops +crazy midget = timeless comedy.
*Since we already did one mashup. Let's rock out The Office/Heroes version.
*I'm not sure this is real. Melanie C (the only baby hating Spice Girl?) covering I Want Candy for some insane reason.
*There is a serious one of these out there, but this parody version of "Do You Realize?" is pretty funny.
*Just thinking ahead about how much me spending $5 bucks at this place will annoy me tommorow morning. Curb Your Enthusiasm on Starbucks. And this tickles me a bit.
It's Tuesday February the 27 around 11:29PM and
Giant Turkery Sub and the Business Meeting
Who knew. Funny bit on SNL, "Business Meeting". You know, there are nuggets of truth in this. Captain Pajama Shark for one. Talking Giant Turkey Subs are so rad. I love the conclusions about Human Resources and if my meetings were more like this I would be a happy man. Rain Wilson's monologue was pretty sweet too. And yes, I know this happened Saturday. Back off.
It's Tuesday February the 27 around 10:46PM and
Jack Bauer vs. Chunk, At Last
Like chocolate and peanut butter there are sometimes two tastes that totally do go well together. In this case, you've got your Goonies 'Chunk' in my '24'. And quite frankly, Jack can torture whomever the hell he wants, whenever he wants. Period.
It's Monday January the 29 around 7:25AM and
Movie Shorts: Smokin' Aces, Iwo Jima, Road House, Gunga Din & More
Smokin' Aces. The buzz on this was kind of "Tarantino knockoff". But the dialogue isn’t always there and the violence is, well, beyond senseless. Girls with 50 caliber guns? In Vegas? Come on. Whatever, Alicia Keyes is total hotness. Ben Affleck has a handlebar mustache (in fact there were plenty of cool mustaches in this. Well-played Mathew Fox.) Jason Bateman is worth the price of admission alone, while no one could possibly believe for a second that smarmy Ryan Reynolds could be in the FBI, ever. Bonus points for a taste of Ennio Morricone’s “The Story Of A Soldier” from The Good, The Bad & The Ugly and the end titles, which were cool. I had high hopes for this, after reading the director's blog. But, no. C.
Letters from Iwo Jima. All you need to know is that this is a far superior film to Flags of our Fathers. The colors – muted earth tones – turn alive during the battle scenes, and it looks great. When you walk out of the film and think about the soldiers from Imperial Japan being just like our side, you know Eastwood did his job as a filmmaker. The only slip up would be the introduction of the film with the modern bookends (always a questionable call) and a bit of subtle bending of some details of history. But a stunning meditation on war and those who fight it. And the music is just about perfect. How does Blondie make a foreign film? That rules. A-.
Continue reading "Movie Shorts: Smokin' Aces, Iwo Jima, Road House, Gunga Din & More" »
It's Monday January the 22 around 7:27AM and
Buzz Dump: Ali Larter, Heroes, 24, Lost, Oh My!
*Finally the time has come for a new episode of Heroes. The PVR will now be doing even more good things for me as I can manage the Heroes/24 'Monday of Awesome' that starts today. I'd put Studio 60 in there, but I watched last night and seems to have become a romantic comedy now. Not only is there a great promo for tonight's Heroes, but you can also catch Ali Larter in the trailer for Homo Erectus.
*Trailer Park: Sunshine looks pretty rock n' roll. And Blades of Glory with Will Ferrell might be worth seeing.
*Then you can get your fill of 24, with this interactive Viral video for the show. Which leads you to CTU Agent and a Chinese Embassy website. Watch the video to CTU-erize them.
*And new Lost promos are starting to run now too. Plus a sneak peak of the next episode "We Need A Boat" 2/7.
*Or you could mix Lost, House, and 24 for the next great drama...
*This Alberto VO5 ad is silly. All that crazy cultural revolution theme makes us yearn for some crazy Soviet buildings! Huzzah!
*And since I watched it this weekend, a song from the Buffy Musical episode, "I'll Never Tell". And musical episodes are quite amazing. I'd pay to see a 30 Rock or Office one.
*For some reason I missed the Peanuts reunion on Family Guy. Amazing. Apparently Snoopy was on junk.
*I knew I wasn't the only Mitsou fan out there. I just knew it.
*Music Monday continues: Start off with a video from Simple Minds, "Don't You Forget About Me." Yes, I watched The Breakfast Club this weekend. Back off. Then Papercuts "John Brown". And lastly, Peter Bjorn and John, "Young Folks." Swede!
*I'm sure you've seen this, but if not, you must. No More Kings "Sweep the Leg". Best Week Ever writes, "this is nothing less than the Citizen Kane of online comedy videos. It has everything you could ever want from a few minutes of semi-ironic pop culture nostalgia - aging Cobra Kai hooligans, Ralph Macchio, a post-apocalyptic John Creese, and Mr. Belding."
*Ah nice to see Coca-Cola getting back to the basics of advertising.
*Saturday Night Live had a pretty amazing spoof of MacGyver this weekend - you can see all three bits of "MacGruber" on NBC's site. So amazing: "Jo Jo, That Dog Turd!" "Pubes. I need a lot of them and I need them now." And for good measure, MacGyver on Family Guy.
*Did you know that meat is the most shoplifted item in America? No. I did not.
*Holy cow. And I thought the Ad business had a lot of changes. Vancouver chefs change kitchens as often as Beyonce shows her armpits. [Urban Diner]
*Oh, great...Vegetarians are the new Prius. In that case, this totally better be true, or I'm not even considering it, Al Gore.
It's Monday January the 22 around 7:22AM and
Movie Shorts: Good German, Babel, Idiocracy, Gore
It's Monday January the 22 around 7:22AM and
Mustache News: Magnum P.I. Movie Buzz
I recently finished watching Magnum P.I. Season 1. The original opening and theme song (it changes after some episodes) was killer. Almost as killer as Magnum on The Family Guy. And almost as sweet as hearing the buzz that Mathew McConaughey might be throwing down with the 'stache' in the movie version. And almost as awesome as further news that Steve Zahn and William H. Macy will be playing Rick and Higgins. Makes you want to rush out and order a T-shirt like this, don't it? This would be so much better than the previous rumors which pegged Ben Affleck as Magnum, which would be totally insane. "All right, all right, all right."
In other completely non-Vancouver and Hawaiian news, the USS Arizona is wasting away.
It's Tuesday January the 16 around 9:14PM and
Totally Delayed Golden Globes Top 5
Last night’s Golden Globes had a few shockers (Ugly Betty’s two big wins) but most of the night’s winners and losers were fairly predictable . This should have been posted this morning, but our fearless editor was, er, probably out to lunch or something like that. Gawd.
There were a few fun surprises (Tom Hanks and Sacha Baron Cohen mentioning balls and testicles in their respective speeches), too many boring speeches (Meryll, it’s your sixth Golden Globe, there is no one left to thank) and the always entertaining fashion disasters. Here’s my vote for the top 5 best and worst moments/outfits of the night:
Worst
Worst impersonation of a Golden Globe: Beyonce. Her last desperate attempt to upstage Jennifer Hudson was just sad. Very very sad.
Worst homage to her homeland: Penelope Cruz. You’re Spanish, not a Flamenco Dancer. I’m pretty sure they’re not the same thing.
Worst ‘please look at me, my career is in the crapper’ dress: Jennifer Love Hewitt. When you’re at an awards show with Beyonce and you are the tackiest thing there, it’s time to fire your stylist. Or in this case, consider one.
It's Tuesday January the 16 around 7:31AM and
Laser Cats?
Still don't like cats. But if they shoot lasers out of their mouths...hmmm?
It's Monday January the 15 around 10:42PM and
24: Day 6, 9:00 AM - 10:00 AM. Holy Cow.
4 hours into 24 Season 6. It's amazing. Nothing pisses Jack Bauer off more than suitcase nuclear weapons. Not good. And to top it off he lost the Golden Globe to Hugh Laurie. Oh my.
It's Tuesday January the 9 around 9:53PM and
Gwen's Sweet Escape
Just Jared calls this one. On Gwen Stefani's “Sweet Escape” video: "The hair? Ridiculous. The excessive amount of Gwen’s “G” emblems everywhere? Ridiculous. The black and white skintight prison jumpsuits? Ridiculous. The “Rapunzel, Rapunzel, Let Down Your Hair” storyline? RIDICULOUS."
It's Monday January the 8 around 7:32AM and
Fast and Furious: CBC's Dragon Boys Part 1
I watched the first part of CBC's Dragon Boys last night. Rather than a review you can view some real time thoughts. This would have worked equally well this morning for the great episode of Dawson's Creek I watched. Anyway here you go:
8:00. Opening credits – Chinese characters on red, lame logo, lame typography
Gratuitus slow -os, hooray!
The warning…”Dragon Boys is a disturbing, realistic portrayal of gang activity on Canada’s west coast. It contains scenes with extreme violence, frequent course language and sexual activity, intended for a mature viewing audience…”
Lets go "hand held"…wait, lets go hand held during really lame pseudo fight. "So cool".
27 minutes in, and I’m totally bored.
Flagrant helicopter (or plane) shots of Richmond. Factoid: Is Richmond is the most depressing suburb in the lower mainland, from the air at least?
8:39. Karaoke! Sweet.
8:52. Use of the term ‘egg roll’ followed by a really super Rosie O’Donnell “Ding Dong Chow” moment by one of the films many stupid white hoods (or is it foot soldiers, I can never get that distinction right) yo.
9:08. Screw ball cop comedy now?
9:18. Country music. This is multicultural. Advantage Alberta veiwers.
9:19. Quote: “I guess its just one of those Chinese things. Like eating your cat.” They had me with the cat hating.
9:48. Still watching…sort of. Some sort of samurai warrior wisecrack.
9:59. Wow. Montage.
The hours approaching, just give it your best
You've got to reach your prime.
That’s when you need to put yourself to the test,
And show us a passage of time,
We're gonna need a montage (montage)
Oh it takes a montage (montage)
Cliff hanger. Still no car chase? After 2-hours. Hmmm.
It's Monday January the 8 around 7:27AM and
Dirty Dancing Monday
Neil Patrick Harris is, well, there is no way to put this other than highly evolved.
It's Friday January the 5 around 8:41AM and
Friday Clip of the Day: Gob's Single City
Gob Bluth is the absolute perfect pick me up on this dark and gloomy day. And honestly, snow? I'm pretty sure I was acting like it was spring this week.
It's Thursday January the 4 around 6:51AM and
Wasting An Evening with Kevin Smith
I wasn't always the biggest Kevin Smith fan. Clerks was nearly unwatchable. Mallrats was dreadful. But then Mr. Smith seemed to catch his groove. Well, until Jersey Girl. And then a while back I watched his DVD "An Evening with Kevin Smith". Clearly he is better live than behind the camera. That said, this past week I watched Clerks II and his follow up DVD "An Evening with Kevin Smith: Evening Harder" (here's a three minute clip for ya) But seriously, watch these discs and you'll be hooked on Smith - Affleck haters or not. And here is some more things that i dug up after the impromptu Smith-A-Thon...
1. Kevin Smith picks David Cross's Diarrhea Moustache for his iTunes Celebrity Playlist. And here's why:
"While the faux title of this track is giggle-inducing enough, it's a bait-and-switch: David Cross likes to mislabel all of his tracks. Instead of diarrhea moustaches, we're treated to a spellbinding and hysterical anecdote about a night when Cross got so plastered, he could barely communicate. With "Shut Up", Cross has released the best comedy album of the last five years, bar none. If your idea of funny is Dane Cook, this may not be your brand of whimsy; but if you like nasty, frank, and bitchy laughs, get nailed to this Cross."
Love it. Especially the Dane Cook call out.
2. Kevin Smith filmed a small part in the new Die Hard movie. Of course this gives Smith the opportunity to talk about what a pimp Bruce Willis was (is) in Moonlighting:
"'The Son Also Rises', at the close of which Addison is dancing with Maddie Hayes at his father’s wedding to Anita Baker’s 'Sweet Love'. Check out that scene, if you ever get a chance: the man is a goddamned pimp. And since David Addison is, essentially, just Bruce Willis with a different name, Willis is, by extension, a goddamned pimp too." Holy crap, it's true watch the clip. Amazing. Truly Amazing. And as a special bonus: Bruce Willis as Bruno with Respect Yourself. OMG!
3. All of this makes even the thought of him acting in a TV pilot is pretty funny. However, I'm not sure what to make of his role in Catch and Release.
It's Wednesday January the 3 around 8:07AM and
Fast and Furious: CBC's 'Dragon Boys'
I find the filmed in Vancouver/Richmond and upcoming CBC movie Dragon Boys (Sunday/Monday at 8:00) interesting. Probably not this interesting: "Dragon Boys features one of the most star-studded casts ever assembled for a Canadian mini-series: Byron Mann, Steph Song, Tzi Ma, Lawrence Chou and Eric Tsang star in this extraordinary human drama." Not really sure if that counts as "star studded", beyond the deee-lightful Steph Song part. Here is your gratiuitous FHM video of Steph Song which can't be all bad right? The movie basically goes something like this:
"A compelling drama and a high-octane thriller. This two-part miniseries centers on a Chinese Canadian RCMP detective and an immigrant family who confront a deadly threat from Asian organized crime"
Ya, I'm not convinced after the trailer either to be honest. Some of it looks too much like bad - read: budget -TV. Fine, some of it looks slicker bu tthis isn't a Brett Ratner film. On the one hand the trailer is almost amazingly overly dramatic (honestly that voice over? Tres hot.) while the posters I've seen around town make it look like the movie is more kind of like "The Fast and the Furious: Richmond, Like, Totally Rules." But you know what? At least it isn't another biopic of a Tommy Douglas/Pierre Trudeau/Conrad Black right? I guess we'll see.
It's Tuesday January the 2 around 7:19AM and
The Wonder That is Brett Ratner
I was at the one post-Christmas, pre-New Years, gathering I allowed on my calendar and some charming film people reminded me of what an