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It's Friday November the 20 around 7:36AM and

VANCOUVERITE WEEKENDER: TOP PICKS FOR THE WEEKEND NOVEMBER 20- 21

FRIDAY:

New Moon. New Moon. New Moon damn it. Curse people magazine and their Sexiest Man of the Year issue where RPattz was robbed, or something. Roger Ebert savaged it in his review this week, "“\Sitting through this experience is like driving a pickup in low gear though a sullen sea of Brylcreem." I'm sure this won't stop the Twihards from melting down all weekend. Don't forget your cheap RPattz approved meatballs at Glowbal nerds.

On the other hand, while every teenage girl is at New Moon, little movies should be nice and quiet. You could try Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day or a Nic Cage movie that no one needed a remake of, Bad Lieutenant: Port of call New Orleans. But it is Werner Herzog, so that is good, and it does feature Eva Mendes, which is always good to look at. (Tinsletown).

Speaking of things to look at, check out the Scout Boutique Fashion Show tomorrow will feature Mad Men inspired pin-up designs by Stop Staring and holiday wear by local designer Sweet Soul. (152 East 8th Avenue - right off of Main Street). We're sending our fashionista to cover this, so stay tuned.

SATURDAY

Savage Love author Dan Savage is playing the Chan Centre for the Performing Arts (8pm, Tix $25). The narcissist in you can submit questions in advance for additional humiliation when asking those "where do babies come from" stupid questions. it's like an evening with Kevin Smith but not as fun and kind of insulting. What fun.

Something tells me that a bottle of Russian Stoly Vodka (certainly not that lame Swedish Absolute) and a couple hours at the Vancouver Russian Community Centre Christmas Bazaar (11-5pm, Tix $1) stuffing your face would be satisfying. Once you are wasted follow that up with a trip to a real life Etsy show at Cambrian Hall (215 East 17th, 11-5PM, $2) or save yourself the trouble and just get online and look at the wares of Regretsy home of the "Handmade: It looks like you made it with your feet" art.

SUNDAY

Is ZZ Top really playing the Abbotsford Entertainment and Sports Centre? Yes, yes they are. (Doors 6:30, Show 7:30, Tix, $85/75) Or if the memories of Back to the Future III aren't enough, there is always the East Side Culture Crawl. If you have an aversion to seeing artists in their natural environment, don't look them in their eyes.