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It's Friday December the 8 around 8:46AM and

Guest Blogger: Anthony's Excellent Russian Adventure Part I

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Our friend Anthony is currently in St. Petersburg, Russia and we are pleased to bring you his vodka soaked ramblings from the Mother Country for your morning reading pleasure.

"Russia. What can I say? Sorry about that whole "communist" thing...but would it kill you to smile?

Most tourists I've ever met in Vancouver just smile and nod like an idiot when they've tried to ask me "where time chicken"? I usually smile back, and simply point in a randomly selected direction, and say "the pony midnight". They thank me for not ignoring them, we go our seperate ways and we both make fun at how ignorant and uncivilized the other is. It's a sweet deal.

Now, I'm that tourist...with that dumb look on my face smiling saying the three words of russian I know, then getting frustrated and start playing a game of charades all the while instictively blurting out words in my own language...which for the first time in my life is useless to me. Unlike my morning karate dance fighting.

But here, in this city with no sunlight or chicken strips and fries, the people just stare blankly at me. Like I'm the asshole. For only ten percent of the world speaking it, english seems to be doing pretty well, I think.

They'll look at me like I'm grunting and pointing because I'm "challenged", they have no idea... Oh, they get you something...they want to help in their own way. But somehow, I'll always get the pink ground turkey sandwich with mayo and an egg on it on an entire loaf of peasent bread. While I expect to get something different than I've asked for...all I'm saying is, get over the whole "communist" oppression thing... it's been a long time since MacGyver thwarted your plans each week. Mother Russia, it's time to smile again...and learn how the fuck to make chicken strips and fries."

PS: No more nukes for you 'frowny'

Posted by Jackson Murphy | Link | Comments (12)

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Comments

Posted by: Anonymous

December 8, 2006 12:00 PM

Learn how to spell you tosser. Maybe then the "peasants" would smile at you. Furthermore, stop whining about your chicken strips and fries. What the hell is wrong with you? Be a man. Drink your vodka and shut up. I'm surprised you haven't been shot yet. What tripe.

Posted by: Anonymous

December 8, 2006 12:02 PM

Learn how to spell you tosser. Maybe then the "peasants" would smile at you. Chicken strips and fries? What the hell is wrong with you? Be a man. Drink your vodka and shut up. I'm surprised you haven't been shot yet. What tripe.
p.s. you ARE the asshole.

Posted by: lee van cleef

December 8, 2006 12:52 PM

i came for the chicken strips, but i stayed for the comment posts.

Posted by: Richard K

December 8, 2006 01:37 PM

Nice comment anon. Do you take out your red pen everywhere you go? Douche.

Posted by: Anonymous

December 8, 2006 02:43 PM

Not generally R.K. I prefer pencils, actually.

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