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It's Monday October the 23 around 7:53AM and

Hobo Wines at the Creepiest Wine Tasting in the Universe

I almost forgot about this one. Saturday night, a friend took me to a wine tasting. I should have known that this would be extremely creepy because a.) It was in Capilano Mall (North Vancouver’s 2nd most ghetto mall after the awesome Lynn Valley Centre) b.) It was Saturday Night in North Vancouver and c.) Did I mention it was in a Mall?

On one hand the people were ridiculous – I mean a Rotary Club Gala Wine Festival in a freaking mall brings out the freaks. And by freaks I mean drunks that looked like they don’t normally go out, or drink wine. The guy in the sweatpants and old Canucks Halloween logo jacket took top prize. And yes, it was for charity. And yes, I am a total jerk. On the other hand, there was plenty of free food, although mostly from places I would never eat at. But Starbucks was giving out pounds of coffee, which is kind of a nice freebie. But if you want to find cheap wines for drinking everyday, this could be the venue. I’m not kidding. Your “hobo wines of the week”:

Tribal, Pinotage (South Africa) $9.89
For under 10 bucks, what can you expect. But this is something to keep on the shelf for when you have friends who normally drink Molson Canadian or Vodka Red Bulls. Funnily enough you can actually taste berries and spices. I always though the $10 glass ceiling was all about the welche's grape juice flavor. See also: Gothe.

Mapu, Cabernet Sauvignon/Carmenere 2005 (Chile) $10.95
Okay, I’ll admit it sounds like something George Lucas would cover in fur, be 4 inches tall and smell like a dirty yak, but it really wasn’t that bad. Mostly it was good because I think the girl serving it was not what Peter McKay would call a “dog”. It tasted a bit fruity, but after three bottles, get over yourself. And bonus 10 buck smug points for the co-owners being Baron Philippe de Rothschild. Get 12 bottles and serve them to your knuckledragging friends.

Gnarly Head, Old Vin Zinfadel 2005 (California) $19.95
Okay, fine, this doesn’t classify as a hobo wine. But you need one to splurge on someone special right? And this has berries. Lots of ‘em. Sweet delicious berries mixed with some licorice pipes. And how great are those?