Last night Elizabeth Hurley and her gals were at the Vancouver Art Gallery to raise awareness for breast cancer. Wearing a "tight-fitting layered pink dress" Hurley and her breasts wowed crowds and told them to donate money. This also involved turning the Art Gallery pink apparently - joining the Empire State building and the Sydney Opera house. [Canadian Press]
*Speaking of Gawker. So Mahmoud Ahmadinejad hit the Big Apple yesterday. Jezebel wondered if he was kinda hot (Gross), Meanwhile Wonkette's Ken Layne calls Bush "Darth Chimpy McHitler"
*"Fans who attended a sneak preview Monday of critically acclaimed director Wes Anderson's newest project, The Darjeeling Limited, were surprised to learn that the film features a deadpan comedic tone, highly stylized production design, and a plot centering around unresolved family issues." [The Onion]
*I knew there was a catch to this whole Canadian Dollar at par with the US$. Books! We're getting ripped off on the effing books! What a bunch of bastards. Oh, wait, we're back to an incentive to shop South of the Border. [The Consumerist]
Here is a nice little look at some recent advertising goodishness. I know what you're thinking. "Post something about Vancouver, ahole". Well, when I had moments yesterday where I could have felt like the man in this unfortunate Rock Paper Scissors video and often feel like I have to deal with my own 'send to Mordor' bunker. The question is, do you like your ads directed by famous directors? Featuring insane newly named snackfoods, or in massive 40-story hotel wrappings? Or do you even care? If my comments we're back working I'm sure you'd tell me.
2. I can't even stand football, but since these are directed by Michael Mann and feature music from his Last of the Mohicans which is a rad movie, i will grant you this Nike Football ad is kind of okay.
3. Or you can check out P. Diddy's spot for his new "Unforgettable" fragrance that Best Week Ever describes as "I mean, what could be more unforgettable than being held against a wall in some kind of backstage maintenance hallway and joylessly having your body groped by some champagne-drunken rap guy?"
4. I couldn't find the real spot for this that was playing during the Emmy's last night. But the idea of the Oreo Cakester is completely insane. I mean sure they can't seem to get Iraq 100% right, but for the love of all that is holy they have soft cake Oreos. Amazing. And the fact that they ask you to look for them in the Oreo Aisle is genius. Pure genius.
It's been awhile since we've said much about The Georgia Straight. Maybe it was the thought of us on a deserted island with cases of Rieslings and Jurgen Gothe. Seriously knocking back shots of grape juice like this with 'Jurgs' would be pretty sweet, yes? So Let's do it old school in this nearly all funny bones edition of the alt-weekly:
5. This week's cover story is "The sin of air travel." Before reading it, I've never wanted to buy a ticket on a jet plane more. And I've never wanted to stop reading an article so quickly in my life. Reading about the carbon offset movement makes my eyes bleed. Literally. For real entertainment and offset hell fire, may i suggest watching VBS's Toxic Alberta. It's like an Al Gore bible camp.
2. I will leave it to you to figure out if the Straight sifted through enough of James Lileks writings beyond his novelty stuff. Because when the two of us agree on someone being awesome, there must be something rotten in Denmark.
1. Dear City Singles Kimberley and Brock. Where do you even start with you two? How exactly is Kimberley's "arch nemesis is Britney Spears." Bitch, please. And why, dear god, why would you say that your "superhero alter ego is Duffman because I too am lively and like to make those around me have a good time," Brock. You're trying to become unsingle, right? It's like telling children there is no Santa Claus.
From Dougal Muir, who ended his passionate argument against Helvetica with a "I am still very much in love with type" but began with this: "The film Helvetica was one of the most dangerous pieces of propaganda that has happened to typographic design in years. It may even have the power to set back the development of typography fifty years."
To the head of the local chapter of the GDC (Graphic Designers of Canada) who starts with, "My respected colleague Dougal makes some interesting points in his comment here, and I don’t disagree with him, but believe he’s being overly dramatic and don’t appreciate his stern public condemnation of either GDC or VFS for co-hosting the screening of the Helvetica documentary" and ends with something so smug that I bet Douglas Coupland wished he'd thought of it first, "My name is Mark Busse. Google me."
So sweet. Who knew the city's designers could be so fabulous. This is like a smarter Heidi vs LC fight on The Hills.
The following things just might not be really working for me right now:
1. I just saw a random promo commercial for the Charlie Sheen show, Two and a Half Men. Nothing weird per se, but the realization that this is going into syndication is kind of like a sign of the apocolypse, no?
2. Fox's new series K-Ville. It's not that I don't think a show set (and actually shot) in New Orleans isn't cool, but the commercials are, well, how do I say this, completely ridiculous (and much different from the trailer too. Well, just less fromagey).
3. Jurassic Park IV. It took them four movies to come to, "You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have dinosaurs with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads! Now evidently my cycloptic colleague informs me that that cannot be done. Ah, would you remind me what I pay you people for, honestly? Throw me a bone here! What do we have? "
4. I am totally into The Hills season three, but is this place Les Deux for real. Seriously, it looks like it is the Mos Eisley for Hollywood douche. PS: Spencer, you're gross.
5. I think it is sad. Sad like killing fluffy bunnies sad, that many people I might happen to work with during long days at the sweat shop might often feel as powerless as these ninjas are against the might trio of beers. But the spot rules. As does Harp. (Via the always fun Agency Tart)
Obituary writing is a lost art, except in Britain, where they excell at it, and have characters across the pond like Count Gottfried vin Bismark to play with:
"Count Gottfried von Bismarck, who was found dead on Monday aged 44, was a louche German aristocrat with a multi-faceted history as a pleasure-seeking heroin addict, hell-raising alcoholic, flamboyant waster and a reckless and extravagant host of homosexual orgies."
Welcome the best and worst of this week's edition of the Georgia Straight. The issue is focused on film but seemed lighter than usual. The cover art promised a 2006 movies spectacular. But in less you really liked Click be afraid, be very afraid. Intern, roll the clips:
5. The cover story is the Top Movies of 2006. Ron Yamauchi picked Click, "Not generally recognized as a brilliant movie upon its release, Adam Sandler’s latest is an astute reverse-engineering of Bill Murray’s Groundhog Day, in which the star’s stolidly oblivious persona is played for tragedy. Profound, with fart jokes." And Casino Royale, " In a year of disappointing hype (Snakes on a Plane, Superman Returns), one popcorn thriller finally delivered a full measure of spectacular, nerve-racking fun. Daniel Craig’s Bond is a charming sociopath, perpetually one martini from delivering (or receiving) a frenzied beat-down." Wow.
4. The first City Single of the Week of the year. Always fun to start off with the kind of gal who likes sour creme on her steak. Scarlett's ideal partner is a mixture of "Doctor McDreamy and Hugh Jackman." You do the math on that statement, but being Hugh Jackman's beard is fantastic by us. Not judging.
3. Gothe delivers the smug with a first part of his best of wine box. How else can you explain this: "WATERSTONE CARNEROS PINOT NOIR 2003 ($34.70) The price is positively bargainish, especially for the first of three Pinot Noirs on the list—huge and deep and robust, the kind of California Pinot that reminds us what all the fuss was, is, and will continue to be about." I love the idea of 35$ of wine being refered to as a bargain. Well Played Gothe.
2. Oh no. Jim Green doesn't yet think he's ready to sign up for a comeback to face Sam Sullivan in 2008 for the Mayor's chair. "I’m like really good, fresh Italian food—very simple, very clear, and very flavoured," said Green. How sad is it that in Vancouver politics that our choices are between Sullivan and a non-commital Green.
1. Ah, the review of the new film Perfume by Janet Smith offering up all the scent puns you can handle: "Still, Perfume is worth sniffing out if you’re craving something other than the usual post-holiday fare. Despite its flaws, its haunting, oddball charms, like its potions, work an undeniable spell —if you can handle a few off-putting odours." Sniff.
Picked up the latest Vancouver Magazine this weekend. It's the big 6th Annual Power 50 issue. Now credit must be given to the mag's revised website, that seems to be updated quicker, and even more crazy, actually has some content online. Particularly this month's blast from the past article "When We Were Young" about the 1950's photos of Fred Herzog and the article on Chris Haddock.
But the Power 50 is quite a let down. Maybe we only need a power 25 or maybe a power 10, since most of the people on this list would hardly qualify as powerful in any other city. I mean David Baines (25) is a pretty good writer but let's not jump overboard here, he's not Walter Lippmann or anything like that. His personal highlight from the last year, "Having exposed some of the questionable claims behind Cold FX—the popular Don Cherry-touted herbal cold and flu remedy." Really? It screams power.
Sam Sullivan is #7. Because he is mayor? Come on. The hard hitting question he is asked, "What’s your best stress-reliever?" The answer: Mashed potatoes. Wow, it's times like these when you actually long for the tender hand of Mike Harcourt in a flower shirt back running the city.
And tied for most powerful? CEO of Translink Pat Jacobsen and Minister of Transportation Kevin Falcon. "There’s little doubt that transportation is the central issue of the day, or that the minister’s the dominant force shaping the city’s transportation future. The province brought TransLink into this world, and Kevin Falcon has the power to take it out." Right, well I guess that settles it then. With all that power you'd think they could get the Skytrain to work in the snow, or enough buses out there. Sadly, no. But I guess when an accompanying article features the corny hosts of Urban Rush, Michael Eckford and Fiona Forbes, calling them the " reigning couple of Vancouver chat" you realize the whole power "issue" is a bit much.
It's been awhile my old friend. And just like Khan says to Kirk in "The Wrath of Khan", "Kirk. You're still alive, old friend." Of course Kirk replies, "Still, 'old friend.' You've managed to kill everyone else but like a poor marksman, you keep missing the target." Not sure what this means, but yes, don't I know it James T. Kirk.
What can I say, I’ve been a tad bit busy working for the man recently and I haven't had time for my weekly check in with The Georgia Straight. As usual the lure of the City Single of the Week was just too much to take and here we go again with ‘The 5’ – a look at the best n’ maybe no-so-best of Vancouver's entertainment weekly. What can I say, I'm a Grinch.
5. See what happens when I take some time from riding The Single of the Week, they actually get more normal. Sure, Germaine is 39 (she's an 'oldie') and playfully confused ("92.3% straight, the rest bent") but other than her comment about Al Gore's "An Inconvenient Truth" she's oddly normal. What gives? I think this must be some kind of a trick.
4. Contender for best sentence in paper this week: "In any case, it does feature a bull mastiff with very large testicles. And the dog’s accent is perfect." (From the Van Wilder 2 review)
3. Unintentionally funny headline: "Impotent Canucks have to learn how to score". Learning that this article was actually about the Vancouver Canucks and hockey was a bit of a bummer, since it started out so strong.
2. Jurgen Gothe has kind of a red wine cheat sheet for the holidays, which is helpful as usual. And the descriptor of the Bonny Doon Big House Red - a favorite of ours - gets you this, "Plenty of prune Danish in the first taste settles into lots of deep red-berry flavours." Prunes, I can usually take or leave, but wines that taste of Danish are, well, good.
1. Don't go to the Straight's website. Just Don't. You will be attacked repeatedly with Heineken beer ads. Nearly every damned page of the site you get burned with beer bottle snowflakes that rain down on you while you read articles. This is a useless Happy Holidays message from the beer maker and I will slap the next person I know who drinks this beer in front of me.
The Province starts you off with a Four-day ordeal to fix broken leg. "Susy Horna spent four pain-filled days in Surrey Memorial Hospital waiting for an operation on her broken leg. Horna, 48, a legal secretary who broke her leg shovelling snow, said her concerns were taken seriously only when she threatened to sue." Meanwhile Ed Willes starts the week off smug, and insufferable on sports, "One of the keys to successful column writing is to set small, manageable goals -- and ours today is to be as entertaining as the Vancouver Canucks. If you're still reading, here are the Monday morning musings and meditations on the world of sports." Funny thing, at least this wasn't as lame as the skiing coverage. Finally grumpy old man W.P. Kinsella spends December 4th talking about the supposed threats to Christmas concluding they are just "hype by media extremists".
The Sun is truly miserable this morning. When skiing is the featured story on the front cover you know nothing good can come of it. Mostly it is in the fact that the paper is really focused on the news of what happened over the weekend - the Dion Liberal Leadership victory in particular - that underscores the problem of newspapers in a digital world.
24 Hours tries for heavy Monday morning issue with a Call to Action. "One year after he was gunned down on a Vancouver street, Lee Matasi's family and friends are working hard to turn his violent death into something positive, and fighting to finish what Matasi had started - turning a neglected access tunnel into a skate-park oasis." Although the teaser for a page two story, Britnies undies which goes like this, "Britney Spears reportedly spent $3,800 on a whole bunch of new panties." I do also appreciate the page five Stephane Dion vs. Celine Dion comparisson. Don't forget the wisdom of Tamara Taggart in the weather section, "A bit warmer this week," Wow thanks Tarmara.
It's Tuesday kids. Euro-pop covers of 80's tunes? Yeah so what. As a good friend would say, "Dance and sing and groove." Girls Aloud is no Tiffany. And yes...I am going there.
Okay. It’s been a couple of weeks since I’ve been able to devote any quality time to The Georgia Straight. But the lure of the City Single of the Week was just too much and here we go again with ‘The 5’ – a look at the best n’ maybe no-so-best of Vancouver's entertainment weekly.
5. Let’s start with The Gothe. Dudes, he’s making pronouncements about the next big thing in wine, the south of France, so listen the hell up. Quite frankly what had me at hello this week was the idea of the perfect phrase in the universe, “meat wine.” You know what to do…
4. In honor of his new album “The Information”, Beck gets served this tasty bit of dish: “There aren’t any blunders on Beck’s latest, but there sure are a lot of bleeps à la R2-D2. And last I checked, the mid-’90s Atari sound is still too recent to count as retro. Consequently, this album feels, at times, pretty dated for someone touted as one of the great revolutionary musicians of our time.”
3. The cover article is about local actor turned war movie playa, Barry Pepper. This part from Pepper is hilarious: “It seemed like at that time in the industry there wasn’t much thinking out of the box. If you were going to hold a casting session, you got out your casting manual, and if you were going to direct, it was going to be linear directing. If you were a Canadian bad boy, then you had a coonskin cap and cigarettes rolled up in your T-shirt and you had tattoos of an anchor. Since then, that has changed, but at the time that was kind of what motivated me to move to L.A.” Of course that article about Pepper is accompanied by another about how some local actors have to fight stereotypes to achieve Pepper-like success, actors like the darling Lanette New and her fancy website.
2. This week’s City Single of the Week calls himself J.T. And I bet he's been going around the city telling girls that he will bring “Sexy Back” too. Then again anyone who has photos of themselves lying around like that, and describes his job as “Keeper of the FUNK/DJ” is beyond simple mockery. Here’s the thing, when someone asks you who your ideal partner would be, how can you answer Krista Allen and Sara Silverman. Why in the hell would you cross the sexy and hilarious Silverman with a D- list actress? It makes no sense PS: people who use words like “unhypeness” can shampoo my crotch.
1. Yes! Finally. Best headline: “B.C. mulls new atomic age.” I wish this was about Gordon Campbell obsession with nukes, Kim Jung Il style. Sadly it is not.
I’m really not sure which is worse. That when I go to Vancouver Magazine’s website that they still have the last month’s issue - and by last month, I mean September – featured. So that means I guess by November they’ll be ready to tell you all about their October Issue. Or is it the fact that in said October issue, you can read a completely ridiculous article entitled, “Allergic Reactions – You’re not a real Vancouverite, it seems, if you’ve never been an extra” by Chris Smith. This is particularly offensive:
“I’d lay money that buried somewhere in the city code is an obscure law to the effect that everyone living in Vancouver must appear in the background of a commercial/film/sci-fi series at some point during their residence. It’s a rite of passage for Vancouver insiderdom, like doing the Grouse Grind or having your bicycle stolen.”
Come on, If these are the rites of passage, we're in serious trouble. But then again, that sort of thing overshadows the fact that they have a story about the Mayor of Surrey for some reason. Although props must be given for another amazing photo of former B.C. Premier Mike “Let’s Boogie” Harcourt in a flower shirt in the “Green Dream” feature story. The guy is a legend. PS: Seeing David Suzuki’s creepy gnarled toes – because he is wearing sandals in the same photo as Mike – was, well, how can I put this, unsettling.
It's Friday, and yes, I'm in love with YouTube. Before you suffer through a day of work for the man, or perhaps during it, here's some linkage and clips for you to pass the time, serve with an adult beverage if you want I won't tell. Leading off, there was the Ghetto Latte, now there is The Ghetto Big Mac. Enjoy:
It's that time people. Another week, another issue of the Georgia Straight. This week is action packed, it's the Best of Issue. Thankfully there are so many things I didn't even bother having to read the news articles. Here we go:
5. And yes it is the 11th annual Best of Vancouver issue this week. There is a lot of things in here that need to be dealt with but I'll give you two. First, shout outs to the ridiculously named Burquitlam suburb are an affront to both Burnaby and Coquitlam - they both should be ashamed of this abomination. Second, the honor of Best PR campaign by a B.C. animal went to the Spirit Bear makes me want to rent a truck, a gun rack, and go up to that damned forrest and shoot me some bears.
4. My Favorite Line in the best of section was the best reason to miss EXPO 86 20 years later: "False Creek had the Soviet space program, Ramses II, and the Scream Machine. And we gave it all up for condos, miniature dogs, and no-foam lattes. What were we thinking?" That or the part about "Best way to meet swinging MILFs" which is so gross it's funny.
3. My god, do we really have to hear what the Readers think? As proof I give you these dirty bits: Nickleback is Best Local Band? Brent Butt as Best Local Comedian? Very funny Georgia Straight readers. Very funny.
2. Gothe speaks more of fruits and not of grapes. I'm not sure this is cool. Canvados? Really? Clearly he is drunk, and we respect that. Pass. Wash it down with some of this, and you got yourself a deal, Gothe.
1. We finally figured out why the City Singles featured are so ridiculous, they select them to simply keep me entertained weekly. According to their "Best of Lifestyle - Critics' Choices", they named this site and particularly this feature "Best way to stay humble". To which I thank them.
And this week, praise be Jeebus, I honor and thank them for finding this goddess. The 32-year-old fine smelling, so she says anyway, Shannon. A trainwreck delight from the "Co-Q" who should not have quite so many eggs "benny style" prolly. But I'm sure her lonely nights spent dreaming of the black Ed Norton and watching "The Notebook" out in Coquitlam waiting for Mr. Right to email her are heavenly. Bwhahahahahahahaha.
I'm not having the best of days, I'm not going to lie to you. Since my wallet has seemingly evaporated - even considering my two acts of uncharacteristic charity (helping cute spanish/perhaps englsh elderly couple in the metro, and helping woman with stoller onto subway) were repaid with the amusing karmic payback of of wallet gone missing. I amuse myself with the idea that that the old man and women worked in conjunction with the baby making lady. The joke was on all of them, or whoever ended up with my worthless wallet - since it is but a graveyard for broken Canadian government cards like my stupid "care card", which I've actually never actually used or my about to expire driver's liscence. Although the care card somehow was in five broken pieces despite non-use, so that's like five free health care cards, right? I should have sold it when I had the chance.
The lesson, as you all should know, is never, ever, help anyone, ever. God hates charity cases, people who can't find their own way on the idiot proof Paris subway, and breeders. I did lose about 5 metro tickets. And that pissed me off. But nothing a little wine and runny cheese didn't fix. Clearly my karma is better than most, since Daddy's eat cheese, and drinking wine, some poor bastard is wondering what the hell to do the world's worst wallet. Hahahahaha. Losers. Advantage, Jackson! PS: If you wouldn't mind paying off the credit card debts, that would be excellent. Thanks.
But at least there hasn't been a military coup at here like in Thailand. Jesus. Reminds me of a quote from Thirteen Days by Coster playing Kenny O'Donnel: "Geez. What is it about the free world that pisses the rest of the world." Anyway, happy pills friends lets roll some links shall will?
*I can think of no greater way to start this off than with Will Ferrell singing Wind Beneath My Wings to Megan Mullally, who for some reason has a talk show now. What the hell does she has a talk show for? That is crazy talk.
*Francis Ford Coppola jumped the shark about a dozen years ago (no, not Godfather III surprisingly, but Jack obviously) but hearing that he is involved in a TV version of his classic 1974 film The Conversation (which i just saw on the big screen here in Paris). Dear god. I'd call him a sell out, but what would be the point.
*Not really sure what is more amazing. A.) Guy Blogging about his run-in with Steve Guttenberg. B.) Same blogger podcasting it from deep within Harlem, including recounting a hilarious part of the story that you shouldn't recount in, er, Harlem. C.) That there is such as thing as Police Academy 2007 coming soon. Clearly chaos theory playing on my wallet. Butterfly flapping wings in Paris = Police Academy 2007.
*My favorite other Jackson, La Toya, is throwing some mad grooves at Australian malt liqour. Dlisted: " I think La Toya would be better suited to promote items such as sex changes or tranny clothes or even really elegant rhinestone belts like the one she has on."
Sorry for the lack of posts, I really had greater ambition for today, but I had the most insane lunch of duck confit that pretty much made me forget everything else in the entire world, now many hours later I have come out of my succulent duck induced coma to bring you some links. PS: the 'pot' of Loire red didn't help matters much either. Nor did the strawberry tart. Basically Paris ruined me today. On the upside, the Louvre at night is wicked dead - like 75% less douchebags at least. Although I did see two clowns in flip flops. Honestly, would it kill you to wear a pair of shoes to see the fancy art you dirty backpacking scumbags? Anyway, on with the show:
*If you've been glued to YouTube like I have, guiltily following the saga of LonelyGirl15, the cat is way out of the bag, and she was even on Leno last night. But still, maybe we'll still watch. But after this, I'm thinking perhaps not. Unless they get Tucker Carlson to play her creepy dad in future episodes. Which would be A-MaZing.
*This is awesome. A character update on the kids from Saved By The Bell. Zack Morris, 31: "As he grew older, his love of blow was only surpassed by his true passion—high school girls. He spent the majority of his free time leaning on his BMW parked in the lot near the Bayside cafeteria, offering rides to varsity—and, at his worst, JV—cheerleaders. He maintained this lifestyle until going into a seizure during an office birthday party for the lady who delivers the office supplies." So good.
*And you know how we know Tenacious D's website is the best into? Because Britney Spears is promising us her new website and she turns into a tiger, and I'm scared.
*Gawker launched a new music blog, Idolator. Nice for us.
*Flashbeer. It's not what you think. It's slightly better.
I was thinking that with last week's issue the Straight was rolling in fine form, and at first glance we have some seemingly cool nude folks on the cover. But my god, does that guy on the cover really have a fauxhawk? For real? And covering up that funky chick? You tease! Anyway, what's inside this fauxhawked nude tease:
5. City Single of the Week. It's Jordan. She's 20 (...sure she is, Come on, did you see that photo, she's 25 or more - here's a tip Jordan, ever hear of Photoshop? And really, you're not a real blonde, wow. Who would have guessed?). I could go on, and on, about this fair maiden, but her dinner party line up alone is enough to make you want an investigation into whatever education institute she's attending. Seriously: Hilary Duff, Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Simpson, and the Toronto Blue Jay! It sounds like a Joe Francis wet dream. At least she doesn't try to fool us, by saying Nelson Mandela or any of that kind of BS.
3. I thought this was a great headline: "Whitehorse: the next Vegas?". But no it was serious. Here's the part I really liked: "Check the map: the true north strong and free is still there. Canada’s upper half attracts scores of Germans and Japanese each year, but somehow we border magnets manage to ignore it. You’ll no doubt be the first among your friends to jet off to Whitehorse for the weekend. Pretend it’s the latest in cool and start a trend. There are plenty of good reasons to go." If any one of my friends ever tries to tell me that they wisked away for a 'cool' weekend in the Yukon, I'm going to slap them in the face. Twice if they try celebrating Whitehorse as being the kind of place populated by the same hemp smelling creative douchebags that go to Saltspring.
2. It took 982 words before Sid Shniad got to his real point in his Afghanistan commentary "Afghan mission stirs debate". Now, he marshalled plenty of facts, and I'm even willing to even forgive the quote from Robert Scheer in the 12th paragraph - and, pretty sure Scheer isn't a "columnist" at the LA Times anymore, look it up. But then in the last paragraph he talks about "October 28, when the Canadian Labour Congress, the Council of Canadians, the Canadian Peace Alliance, the Canadian Muslim Congress, and Stopwar.ca, as well as other organizations, are organizing a national day of protest. In Vancouver, we will march from the Waterfront SkyTrain Station in front of Canada Place, beginning at 1 p.m., to a rally scheduled for the Vancouver Art Gallery beginning at 2 p.m." So basically it's 1112 word flyer for an event. Gotcha. 10-4.
*But then there is this. Ellam Inba Mayam - Dance Fever. Pretty amazing video non? The guy is the greatest thing ever. This will leave you breathless. This will be the best 3 minutes, 30 seconds of your week. I promise.
*Diddy is just like you and me. He has scuffs on his walls and dirty carpets. But as MollyGood notes, he also has a 'crash pad' which I'm sure is just like a famed 'Jack Pad' we've heard about in rumors in Vancouver.
*Some complete sicko emailed us this, which i'm sure will please some of you. Viking Kittens.
Some of this stuff just seemed a tad bit frivolous yesterday. But today, it's totally fine, right? In fact if I don't post these stupid links the terrorists win. So there:
*And since I mentioned weather, I would be remiss in not provoking more cat blogging. So if you have to blog about your stupid cat, I want to know that he is a fierce killer. Like What Jeff Killed. Now, Jeff, you need to kill a lot more for me to even think about not hating you. You sick bastard murdering cat. I was also reminded of this priceless Jonah Goldberg cat hating column from awhile back. Meow.
*I'm not sure this show will last, but Twenty Good Years with John Lithgow and Jeffrey Tambor about, basically men getting old sounds pretty interesting. [NY Times]
*I can guarantee you, that if the PNE had this much foods on sticks I might go. I give you 5 1/2 of Minnesota State Fair On A Stick. Bonus tuba theme. Best. Video. This morning. (You thought I was going to say, EVER didn't you) [Via Boing Boing]
*Oh my. Things are going badly, America is resorting to drinking so-called Ghetto Lattes, " an Americano, half ice, no water. Then you go over to the condiment counter and fill it with milk or half and half or skim or whatever, and you're off with a fancy chick drink in the spare change price range" [Seattlest]
*Borat arrives at the Toronto Film Festival. A sad reminder that nothing this cool will happen at this year's Vancouver Film Festival. It's like they're rubbing that fact in our faces. Seriously, what is that horse thinking right then?
*You can never get enough Screech. But this new Spike TV interview show Now That's Entertainment ...with Reginald Westinghouse is wierdly compelling. TV Squad describes it, "Reginald is an agoraphobic, germaphobic, schizophrenic who hosts a talk show out of his home. Somehow he lures celebrities in to be interviewed, and the craziness begins."
*This article in the NY Times by Michael Ruhlman on Gordon Ramsay is amazing. Not only is the kick ass chef taking on Manhattan, but the fact that he wants to try Paris next - " staff the restaurant all with English and call it Roast Beef!" is awesome.
*"There should also be a little nook in Hell reserved for the son of a bitch who invented those little stickers that get put on fruit and vegetables. I cannot begin to describe the feeling of loathing bordering on hatred I feel towards those tiny stickers." [Daily Pundit]
*Wow, the Box Office last weekend was pretty sad. Defamer sums it up calling the 2-5th movies, "the movies that America didn't really want to see, but for lack of a better option, went to anyway."
*This is really going to piss off the Wal-Mart haters out there. But Wal-Mart is starting to go green, big time as they say. Read the whole thing big box haters.
*Bud Tv. Or Bud.tv is coming. They're spending $30 million on programming. Tastes great? Less filling? Both? You be the judge. [Experience Curve]
*My Goodness have you seen these new McDonald's commercials directed by Kip Dynamite, er, Aaron Ruell? No. My favorites; Filet-O-Fish and Lost Seeds. [Ad Freak]
*I think this new Gap ad would probably make Audrey Hepburn vomit all over Tiffany's and George Peppard. Ridiculous. And honestly AC/DC, why? Selling skinny black pants? Jesus. [YouTube]
*This Dean Martin golf ball ad is amazing. The Hawaii Five-O theme, his corny and drunk antics. It's like magic. [Ad Jab]
*Have you heard about the next batch of sequels? MGM is planning a Reese-less Legall Blonde 3, Cutting Eddge 3 (wait, there was a 2nd), WarGames 2 (actually interesting), and Species 4. [Cinematical]
*Thank god for the today show (and Gawker) otherwise I wouldn't know that "looking good is 99% confidence, 1% lipgloss". Who knew? [Gawker]
*Now, okay, I'll admit I'm not exactly the biggest Gwyenth Paltrow fan in the world. But if she keeps talking about her vice being Pinot we could warm to the idea. [Golden Fiddle]
*Vancouver pervert Joshua Jackson is grossing out NYC with his PDA's. Can somebody explain how Diane Kruger turned French circa 1940 and surrendere to Pacey's charms. [Pop Sugar]
*Whatever Jake Gyllenhall. We shave our beard so that we don't look like a crazy hippy and you totally copy us. I wonder if he'll now start pretending he's straight. [Just Jared]
*Here's one for the peeps past the Port Mann. A wierd Dodge Ram site and bizarre theme. [Ramrash.com]
*And this smackdown of a San Diego investigative reporter is must see. I imagine, that someday, some pent up 'Anti-The Vancouverite' fan will try this on me, or Luke. Hi-LA-rious! [Gawker]
*Our Sneaker Overlord Al Cabino sends this, "It was only a matter of time before this came about. Play as the late/great Steve Irwin's wife as she gets revenge on the all sting rays." [Destructoid]
*Apparently Mike Judge (Office Space) has a new film called Idiocacy. Apparently it is hilarious. The genuises at Fox have decided it isn't worth marketing. Thanks, jerks. [Fishbowl LA]
*I just wanted to stress just how much cats are responible for everything wrong in the world from the terrorists to Paris Hilton. Here's proof.
*I love the trailer for the next Jackass movie. It's so perfect. Bonus points for best voiceover guy, ever. [Google Video]
Thank the bleeding maker of all that is good and holy. Suri Cruise actually exists. Katie Couric scooped the entire planet with a preview of todays (well, at least in New York and LA) new Vanity Fair featuring a 22-page disgusting profile of the Cruises. But now we can move on, non?
*Copyranter has a bone to pick with a new Starbucks concept for being more, well, boho: "Nomadic. Interactive. Coffeehouse. That's rich, SBUX. A company with $6.3 billion in revenue in '05, a company that has ruthlessly put hundreds of independent "coffeehouses" out of business, trying to get all Beat Generation counterculture cool on us. Yeah man, I'll be there on the 17th, acid-tripping and finger-snapping to the rebellious, spontaneous words of Lethem, the struggling Brooklyn inkslinger."
*My totally awesome favorite headline from yesterday. "Paris learns about the genocide in Darfur." [MollyGood]
*My totally awesome favorite headline from the past two hours: "Stormtroopers blast through gender barrier" That didn't spark your curiosity? If I said photos of babes in stormtrooper outfits, would that help? [SFGate Culture Blog]
*Not geeky enough? How about the comparisons of the 2004 Star Wars with the 1977 version - side by side in prep for the DVD re-release. [Star Wars]
*Last week I was on an A-Team kick. Here's the latest on the potential movie. [Cinematical]
*Ahhhhh....Al Cabino sends us the linkage to the Puma fall '06 catalogue. Yummy. PS: When is the Puma store open? Or is it? 900 block Granville. Yum. [Puma]
*One more Steve Irwin link. Andrew Sullivan notes that there is a South Park curse. Here's the proof. [Andrew Sullivan]
*OMG. Have you seen the preview for Grey's Anatomy? This is worse than must-see thursday promos. My god, "My eyes, the goggles, they do nut-ing"[YouTube]
*Okay, I haven't posted anything on this lonelygirl15 phenomenon yet. Virginia Heffernan is still trying to unravel this mystery of J.J. Abrams proportions. [Screens]
Let's be honest, today is not really going to be about actually working now is it? Here's a post-labour day tribute to Steve Irwin helping of buzz and links:
*Last week we mentioned that actress Tricia Helfer was peddling wine at the Cambie & 39th Ave liquor store. And in today's Metro Warren Frey has the photo to prove she actually was there.
*And just so you, watch the trailer for Little Children. It's going to be on the must watch this fall list. Okay.
*How cute. Toronto gets its own kind of uncool guys website, XYYZ. And try to claim Cary Grant as their Jesus. Shameless. Note to aspiring Vancouverites, please don't do this here. Please don't.
*Have you missed the invasion of Youtube by P-Diddy or whatever we are supposed to call him? He is a genius. First his call out to the bacon, egg, and applesauce breakfast of champions, then today he's just walking around New York telling people they can dance again. And I'm pretty sure he gave me a shout out. I've been to NYC.
*Could I go a day without picking on Jessica Alba? Nope. This clip of Guillermo at the Teen Choice awards is amazing. Especially when you have to listen to Alba. Guillermo rules.
*Saved by the Bell reference #1: Could I go even one more link without picking on Jessica Alba. Ha ha. No. The Superficial disects a creepy Alba meeting with Fez. "I didn't even know it was possible to make Jessica Alba look this awkward, let alone dressed like she just finished shooting an episode of Saved by the Bell."
*This new Robin Williams movie "Man of the Year" looks almost funny.
*There is something about Old Miller Beer ads, that make you want to have a cold one non? [Deadspin]
*Two questions. 1. Who would want Britney Spears Egg Sandwich and Kfed's Corn Dog? 2. What kind of a music industry event has those two items on the menu? Diddy would crap himself. [eBay]
24 Hours puts a cute seal on the front cover with no headline at all. Groundbreaking journalism, again. Must have been the full coverage of their Flugtag.
Metro Vancouver profiles a peacecamp with some snazzy photography on the cover. Because nothing says peace in the MidEast like teenagers and blurry photography. And then we read "My View" by Laura Balance and this ridiculous quote about the P.N.E. "Today the fair at the PNE remains as much a part of the fabric of this city as the day it opened in 1910 - probably more." What does that even mean?
*Best article of the Weekend. Ron Rosenbaum's how did we live without treatist on the one, the only, Johnny Drama from Entrourage. "...one could look at Johnny Drama in a different way: as part of the great tradition of American losers. Not malevolent so much as self-destructive, and at least a little bit lovable (or pitiable) because they’re so unself-aware—so oblivious at times—of how they get in their own way."
*Best quote of the entire weekend. Mr. Bill Murray: "I tell people I'm retired. I kinda like this Jay-Z thing, where he's retired, but he keeps doing shows. I think I beat him to that. If you say you're retired, people don't bother you so much, and then if you want to do something, you can do it."
