It's Tuesday September the 19 around 12:00PM and

Buzz Dump: Ode To The Paris Metro Edition

I'm not having the best of days, I'm not going to lie to you. Since my wallet has seemingly evaporated - even considering my two acts of uncharacteristic charity (helping cute spanish/perhaps englsh elderly couple in the metro, and helping woman with stoller onto subway) were repaid with the amusing karmic payback of of wallet gone missing. I amuse myself with the idea that that the old man and women worked in conjunction with the baby making lady. The joke was on all of them, or whoever ended up with my worthless wallet - since it is but a graveyard for broken Canadian government cards like my stupid "care card", which I've actually never actually used or my about to expire driver's liscence. Although the care card somehow was in five broken pieces despite non-use, so that's like five free health care cards, right? I should have sold it when I had the chance.

The lesson, as you all should know, is never, ever, help anyone, ever. God hates charity cases, people who can't find their own way on the idiot proof Paris subway, and breeders. I did lose about 5 metro tickets. And that pissed me off. But nothing a little wine and runny cheese didn't fix. Clearly my karma is better than most, since Daddy's eat cheese, and drinking wine, some poor bastard is wondering what the hell to do the world's worst wallet. Hahahahaha. Losers. Advantage, Jackson! PS: If you wouldn't mind paying off the credit card debts, that would be excellent. Thanks.

But at least there hasn't been a military coup at here like in Thailand. Jesus. Reminds me of a quote from Thirteen Days by Coster playing Kenny O'Donnel: "Geez. What is it about the free world that pisses the rest of the world." Anyway, happy pills friends lets roll some links shall will?

*I can think of no greater way to start this off than with Will Ferrell singing Wind Beneath My Wings to Megan Mullally, who for some reason has a talk show now. What the hell does she has a talk show for? That is crazy talk.

*I'm so stoked for Lost on October 4th it's crazy. This preview is a good start.

*Francis Ford Coppola jumped the shark about a dozen years ago (no, not Godfather III surprisingly, but Jack obviously) but hearing that he is involved in a TV version of his classic 1974 film The Conversation (which i just saw on the big screen here in Paris). Dear god. I'd call him a sell out, but what would be the point.

*Monty Python meets Starwars.

*Not really sure what is more amazing. A.) Guy Blogging about his run-in with Steve Guttenberg. B.) Same blogger podcasting it from deep within Harlem, including recounting a hilarious part of the story that you shouldn't recount in, er, Harlem. C.) That there is such as thing as Police Academy 2007 coming soon. Clearly chaos theory playing on my wallet. Butterfly flapping wings in Paris = Police Academy 2007.

*I really hope that this doesn't happen to LonelyGirl15. Amanda Congdon, formerly of kind of Rocketboom goes really lame, nay absolutely lame, when sponsored by Ford and some environmental groups for some sort of five week hippy roadtrip.

*My favorite other Jackson, La Toya, is throwing some mad grooves at Australian malt liqour. Dlisted: " I think La Toya would be better suited to promote items such as sex changes or tranny clothes or even really elegant rhinestone belts like the one she has on."

*Hey, if the whole Thailand thing got you down. Start reading Sheila O'Malley's completely awesome current obsession with Dean Martin. Just scroll, enjoy, and pour a couple of gasolines. Like try to tell me this isn't pure amazingness? Just try.

*Speaking of gasoline, will vodka ever be the same? Red Bull must be totally freaking out over the us to the absolutely insane new energy drink they are calling Cocaine. It even has a myspace page. Do we really need something 50% stronger than Red Bull? Really? [Drink Cocaine]

*This is completely terrible. Don't click this link. Don't. Sorry.

Posted by Jackson Murphy | Link | Comments (1)