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It's Thursday December the 29 around 11:39PM and

Georgia Straight Limps Into New Year

Obviously to make sure that the college-faux-CanWest property Dose doesn't convert too many of the alt media readership in Vancouver between Christmas and 2006, The Georgia Straight published a very thin on goodness issue yesterday. Here's 5 reasons to just skip this issue:

5. Year ends always seem to produce the only more annoying content than Christmas does for media organizations. The Georgia Straight doesn't have top ten lists per se, but the "Old year passes in weird and wonderful ways" feature is just as bad. Summing up 2005 this way, "Otherwise, it was just the usual dismal blend of war, famine, terrorism, disease, and incompetence, all garnished with a sense of quiet panic that ratcheted up every time a duck or chicken sneezed halfway around the world." You know in 25 years, 2005 will not be remembered for any of that. [Whatever you do, don't bother Jeff Jarvis with year end lists. Wow]

4. Yep, it's holiday time and I really, really want to read about how much of a waste of cash public-private partnerships are. Not.

3. Ginch Gonch Single of the Week Alan. Billions of people, living or dead, you could invite to a dinner party and you choose: Michael Jordan, David Blaine, Elle MacPherson? Wow! PS: Over medium on the eggs? Who does that? Honestly.

2. Article proclaiming that Politics is overrun by men. It's also overrun by douchebags, but what are you gonna do?

1. Can the Straight not find one local writer to pen a column to replace all the Gwynne Dyer or Naomi Klein reprinted content they use? Especially when Dyer gets away with writing something like this: "The larger reality is that while the Bush administration has been obsessed by its grandiose plans for reshaping the Middle East, the real transformation has been happening in America’s own back yard. Left-wing governments have come to power in Brazil and Argentina, the two biggest countries of South America, and in a number of smaller countries as well." No, America isn't aware of this, and doesn't have operations in South America at all Gwynne, cough, cough. Robert Kaplan, call your office please.