« TVI: CBC Chair Resigns Despite Being so Damn Awesome | Main | Materazzi Takes it Like a Man in the Chest »

It's Thursday September the 21 around 2:06PM and

Georgia Straight Watch: Best of Vancouver Blow Out

It's that time people. Another week, another issue of the Georgia Straight. This week is action packed, it's the Best of Issue. Thankfully there are so many things I didn't even bother having to read the news articles. Here we go:

5. And yes it is the 11th annual Best of Vancouver issue this week. There is a lot of things in here that need to be dealt with but I'll give you two. First, shout outs to the ridiculously named Burquitlam suburb are an affront to both Burnaby and Coquitlam - they both should be ashamed of this abomination. Second, the honor of Best PR campaign by a B.C. animal went to the Spirit Bear makes me want to rent a truck, a gun rack, and go up to that damned forrest and shoot me some bears.

4. My Favorite Line in the best of section was the best reason to miss EXPO 86 20 years later: "False Creek had the Soviet space program, Ramses II, and the Scream Machine. And we gave it all up for condos, miniature dogs, and no-foam lattes. What were we thinking?" That or the part about "Best way to meet swinging MILFs" which is so gross it's funny.

3. My god, do we really have to hear what the Readers think? As proof I give you these dirty bits: Nickleback is Best Local Band? Brent Butt as Best Local Comedian? Very funny Georgia Straight readers. Very funny.

2. Gothe speaks more of fruits and not of grapes. I'm not sure this is cool. Canvados? Really? Clearly he is drunk, and we respect that. Pass. Wash it down with some of this, and you got yourself a deal, Gothe.

1. We finally figured out why the City Singles featured are so ridiculous, they select them to simply keep me entertained weekly. According to their "Best of Lifestyle - Critics' Choices", they named this site and particularly this feature "Best way to stay humble". To which I thank them.

And this week, praise be Jeebus, I honor and thank them for finding this goddess. The 32-year-old fine smelling, so she says anyway, Shannon. A trainwreck delight from the "Co-Q" who should not have quite so many eggs "benny style" prolly. But I'm sure her lonely nights spent dreaming of the black Ed Norton and watching "The Notebook" out in Coquitlam waiting for Mr. Right to email her are heavenly. Bwhahahahahahahaha.

TrackBack

TrackBack URL for this entry:

http://www.thevancouverite.com/cgi-bin/mt/mt-tb.cgi/735

Comments

Posted by: Kimmy

September 21, 2006 04:22 PM

Jackson, are you single?

Posted by: Kimmy

September 21, 2006 04:23 PM

Jackson, are you single?

Posted by: Brian

September 21, 2006 10:56 PM

Yeah, I was kind of curious why under "Food and Drink" there is no mention of "best pub".

Posted by: Brian

September 21, 2006 11:02 PM

Re: Shannon, don't be so hard on her! I spluttered when I missed the comma in "Jesus the Crocodile Hunter"

Posted by: hot lunch

September 22, 2006 02:40 PM

I actually found your site via the Straight, whose Best Of is infuriating to say the least. EQ3 as 3rd Best Furniture Shop? EQ3 sucks. And Joeys as Best New Restaurant??? Who's reading this paper? Enjoy your blog, that was a good find.

Posted by: RT

September 23, 2006 06:29 PM

Jackson, it is a miracle to me how one can run an Strait award winning bolg while drinking $4 bottles of Zabmucca with French hoes in Paris. Way to go man.