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It's Monday December the 11 around 7:48AM and

Georgia Straight Watch: Heineken Ad Invasions

It's been awhile my old friend. And just like Khan says to Kirk in "The Wrath of Khan", "Kirk. You're still alive, old friend." Of course Kirk replies, "Still, 'old friend.' You've managed to kill everyone else but like a poor marksman, you keep missing the target." Not sure what this means, but yes, don't I know it James T. Kirk.

What can I say, I’ve been a tad bit busy working for the man recently and I haven't had time for my weekly check in with The Georgia Straight. As usual the lure of the City Single of the Week was just too much to take and here we go again with ‘The 5’ – a look at the best n’ maybe no-so-best of Vancouver's entertainment weekly. What can I say, I'm a Grinch.

5. See what happens when I take some time from riding The Single of the Week, they actually get more normal. Sure, Germaine is 39 (she's an 'oldie') and playfully confused ("92.3% straight, the rest bent") but other than her comment about Al Gore's "An Inconvenient Truth" she's oddly normal. What gives? I think this must be some kind of a trick.

4. Contender for best sentence in paper this week: "In any case, it does feature a bull mastiff with very large testicles. And the dog’s accent is perfect." (From the Van Wilder 2 review)

3. Unintentionally funny headline: "Impotent Canucks have to learn how to score". Learning that this article was actually about the Vancouver Canucks and hockey was a bit of a bummer, since it started out so strong.

2. Jurgen Gothe has kind of a red wine cheat sheet for the holidays, which is helpful as usual. And the descriptor of the Bonny Doon Big House Red - a favorite of ours - gets you this, "Plenty of prune Danish in the first taste settles into lots of deep red-berry flavours." Prunes, I can usually take or leave, but wines that taste of Danish are, well, good.

1. Don't go to the Straight's website. Just Don't. You will be attacked repeatedly with Heineken beer ads. Nearly every damned page of the site you get burned with beer bottle snowflakes that rain down on you while you read articles. This is a useless Happy Holidays message from the beer maker and I will slap the next person I know who drinks this beer in front of me.