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It's Thursday September the 14 around 12:08PM and

Georgia Straight Watch: Nude and fauxhawked

straight-fauxhawking.jpg
I was thinking that with last week's issue the Straight was rolling in fine form, and at first glance we have some seemingly cool nude folks on the cover. But my god, does that guy on the cover really have a fauxhawk? For real? And covering up that funky chick? You tease! Anyway, what's inside this fauxhawked nude tease:

5. City Single of the Week. It's Jordan. She's 20 (...sure she is, Come on, did you see that photo, she's 25 or more - here's a tip Jordan, ever hear of Photoshop? And really, you're not a real blonde, wow. Who would have guessed?). I could go on, and on, about this fair maiden, but her dinner party line up alone is enough to make you want an investigation into whatever education institute she's attending. Seriously: Hilary Duff, Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Simpson, and the Toronto Blue Jay! It sounds like a Joe Francis wet dream. At least she doesn't try to fool us, by saying Nelson Mandela or any of that kind of BS.

4. Stop the presses! Jurgen Gothe is talking Pinot, again. Listen up.

3. I thought this was a great headline: "Whitehorse: the next Vegas?". But no it was serious. Here's the part I really liked: "Check the map: the true north strong and free is still there. Canada’s upper half attracts scores of Germans and Japanese each year, but somehow we border magnets manage to ignore it. You’ll no doubt be the first among your friends to jet off to Whitehorse for the weekend. Pretend it’s the latest in cool and start a trend. There are plenty of good reasons to go." If any one of my friends ever tries to tell me that they wisked away for a 'cool' weekend in the Yukon, I'm going to slap them in the face. Twice if they try celebrating Whitehorse as being the kind of place populated by the same hemp smelling creative douchebags that go to Saltspring.

2. It took 982 words before Sid Shniad got to his real point in his Afghanistan commentary "Afghan mission stirs debate". Now, he marshalled plenty of facts, and I'm even willing to even forgive the quote from Robert Scheer in the 12th paragraph - and, pretty sure Scheer isn't a "columnist" at the LA Times anymore, look it up. But then in the last paragraph he talks about "October 28, when the Canadian Labour Congress, the Council of Canadians, the Canadian Peace Alliance, the Canadian Muslim Congress, and Stopwar.ca, as well as other organizations, are organizing a national day of protest. In Vancouver, we will march from the Waterfront SkyTrain Station in front of Canada Place, beginning at 1 p.m., to a rally scheduled for the Vancouver Art Gallery beginning at 2 p.m." So basically it's 1112 word flyer for an event. Gotcha. 10-4.

1. I got lost after I read about COPE City Councillor David Cadman started throwing down Walt Whitman references when talking about Mayor Sam Sullivan. "'O Captain! My Captain!', the narrator grieves that although onlookers wait ashore for a ship to dock, 'For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning', the captain can’t respond because he’s dead." Holy drama queen.

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Comments

Posted by: RG

September 15, 2006 12:01 PM

As someone who was born and raised in Whitehorse I want to let you know that it is not another Saltspring! I can't beleive that this person compared it to that dirty hippy town. My town is clean, it is creative but not in the creepy, lazy, smelly way. I just wanted to clear that up.

Posted by: RG

September 15, 2006 12:06 PM

As someone who was born and raised in Whitehorse I want to let you know that it is not another Saltspring! I can't believe that this person compared it to that dirty hippy town. My town is clean, it is creative but not in the creepy, lazy, smelly, rightouse hippy way. I just wanted to clear that up.

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