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It's Saturday February the 25 around 2:00PM and

Georgia Straight Watch: Wine Master

It's that time again Vancouverites. It's our weekly flip through the king of free papers and the bastion of faux alternative news, The Georgia Straight. Sit back, and let's go throught the best and/or the worst of the city's biggest alt-weekly rag. Go:

5. The article by wine-o writer Jurgen Gothe about Bernie Hadley-Beauregard - the brand designer of Blasted Church, Lotusland, and Dirty Laundry (who still haven't finished building their website! Somebody should explain search to them as well) wines - is interesting. The whole brand over grapes debate of wines is timeless isn't it? Here's the odd thing though - why is Bernie's company website about as interesting as a root canal?

4. Single of the week - Sarah. Good lord this feature is painful. Sarah's greatest fear is "selling out". Sweetie, you just sold out by doing this - you know that right? And, please, Baraka? I thought we already dealt with this cinematic stupidity already.

3. What are you, nuts? I leave it up to you to figure out what is worse: labeling Chloë Sevigny a "fashionista" (Go to Go Fug Yourself for proof of this outrageous false claim) or that white framed sunglasses are being hailed as the next big thing.

2. It's been awile since the Sraight looked at "the man". This week's episode features a bunch of stories on the plight of minimum wage workers and the fat cat CEO's who make a fortune.

1. The best two sentences in the whole paper: "What if James Bond was a primate who was good at extreme sports? Viewers of xXx, the 2002 action film with Vin Diesel, already have a good idea. For those who have been born in the interval, there is Spymate." Please also note that while his brother William Vince is gearing up for the Oscars with his film Capote up for Best Picture, Robert Vince has his directed and produced in 2003, Spymate film is finally out. Sadly it will probably make money.