Gordon Campbell announced today the "bajillion" dollars he plans on spending on transportation over the next 12 years. The plan includes, "$10.3-billion in four new rapid transit lines in Metro Vancouver, $1.2-billion for a new rapid bus service in Kelowna, Victoria, and Vancouver, and $1.6-billion investment in 1,500 new buses and related maintenance." [CTV, Global TV Video]
My favorite part of the days events was Transportation Minister Kevin Falcon's boast on why size or cash matters, "One new transit line was committed to in each of the previous three decades. This plan delivers three lines in the next decade."
One could only imagine being a fly on the wall with Gordon Campbell and Kevin Falcon before they announced this. Falcon: "biggest. spending project in BC. ever sir. your legacy!" Gordo: "High Five. Iz nice" (In a Borat voice obvs.)
Now if only we could add to the seven or eight cabs in the city and we'd be totally laughing.
2. And this is more related to our fair city. Can you even imagine if Vancouverites burned 372 (144 in Paris alone) cars on New Years? But in typical French amazing fashion..."There is usually an increase in the number of cars torched on New Year's Eve compared to other days of the year." I mean come on it was down from the 397 last year right? Victory France!
Pretty sure Sam Sullivan would combust if this happened here. Sounds perfect let's celebrate French New Years here in Vancouver next year. 2009 here we come...
" And it sort of makes me sad, because when I watch "The Hills" I forget about war and poverty and basic math? And I, like, don't want to go back to caring about stuff or knowing the name of the President or reading books? But I guess I have to? Because you can't go through life being an Audrina (Audrina=retard) if you're not on a scripted reality show for MTV? I guess??!?!?!?!?!? Anyway, I'll miss you, "Hills." We'll always have that time where that one girl said that really stupid thing and everyone was all, What? I'll never forget it."[Gawker]
"Unfortunately, now that Canada's dollar is oddly similar to an actual dollar and a donut at any one of the 2,733 Canada-based Tim Horton's costs like four actual dollars, we must listen to their distress. But they are misguided! God's great plan for His world has at last granted Canada a Northwest Passage! Freed from this sad dependence on ice and misery, Canadian sea shipping lane dominance will turn Toronto into the new Tokyo, and Montreal into the new Seoul! Though Regina will still suck pretty bad." [Gawker]
Last night Elizabeth Hurley and her gals were at the Vancouver Art Gallery to raise awareness for breast cancer. Wearing a "tight-fitting layered pink dress" Hurley and her breasts wowed crowds and told them to donate money. This also involved turning the Art Gallery pink apparently - joining the Empire State building and the Sydney Opera house. [Canadian Press]
The Province Newsroom blog baits us with this creepy news, "Reporter Ian Austin will have the full story in Friday's Province about how the Vancouver Parks Board is wooing giant animatronic dinosaurs for an attraction in Stanley Park, but the debate is already under way. The opinions so far range from 'pretty rad' to 'what an eyesore that'll be.'" [More at CBC]
Late last week, one of our most loyal readers brough our attention to the amazing banner ads that the Vancouver Sun was sporting. That's right kids, the She Wee was front and center on the homepage last week for some unintentionally funny advertising fun.
What's the She Wee? "Shewee is a molded plastic funnel that provides women with a simple, private and hygienic method of urinating without removing clothes whilst standing AND sitting."
Amazing! As Ron Burgundy would say, "you stay classy, Vancouver."
Won't this news just encourage Sam Sullivan's reign of terror? "Vancouver has been ranked the best place to live in the world for the fifth year in a row in a survey by the Economist magazine, while Toronto took fifth place out of 132 cities." [CBC News]
Nazis. I hate those guys. "A Vancouver man convicted in absentia of Nazi war crimes has lost a bid to be released from custody while he appeals his extradition to Italy to the Supreme Court of Canada." [Canadian Press]
This just in. According to a just closed Vancouver meeting, apparently, wait for it, NAFTA works. Yay us! And who couldn't love this kind of excitement: "The group's final communique indeed was mother's milk to trade wonks: improving NAFTA's rules of origin, reducing barriers on swine, steel consumer electronics and chemicals and finding ways to boost North American competitiveness." I bet David Emerson is partying like a rockstar right now. [CTV News]
Wow. David Berner drops a bit of a bomb on the family and friends who defended the image of one of those killed last week with this: "Except, of course, when he was dealing in illegal drugs and playing with guys with guns. And, of course, when he was shot dead in a restaurant. That'll happen sometimes when you live like that." It must be Vancouver blog sweeps week with this kind of a post. Love it.
So day 25 of the strike has exposed a vulnerable weakness is Mayor Sam Sullivan's "drop dead" strike negeotiation tactics. Vancouverites have found all these parks to dump their crap in! And the streets and alleys seem to be working now too! "Flies are buzzing above the trash, and maggots are feeding on the food scraps. The mess reeks and it's ugly. However, the local health authority say the situation isn't a risk to human health yet." Your move Sam. [CTV News]
Granville Street turned ugly last night as the scene of two men fighting turned to one man using a chain, and then after striking two police officers a third officer shot and killed the man. "According to reports, witnesses heard as many as a dozen shots fired before the suspect went down." (CTV News)
It's a shame I had to go and open my mouth to The Seattlest about our fair cities garbage strike. They contacted me about the state of the garbage, and you can read all about that over there, cause it's a great site about Seattle. But since I rarely venture outside of a few streets, clearly I'm no Bob Woodward on this one.
And while it is true that there isn't mountains of garbage anywhere, at least not yet, apparently things aren't as rosey as I thought. First, I went to Gastown last week. The entire place smells like a giant urinal, minus the chlorine. Second, it would seem that the Rats are begining to take over. it's like the Secret of Nimh over in the Eastside. You caught me, yes, i think a colony of super smart rats would be an improvement down there.
Meanwhile, The Only makes me seem relaxed about this garbage strike issue. Bonus points for calling out Mayor Sullivan who is now clearly a hilarious parody of Springfields Mayor Quimby and Quahog's Mayor Adam West. "Nearly a month old, the city strike in Vancouver has managed to make an already incompetent Mayor Sam Sullivan look utterly useless. While municipalities across “Metro Vancouver” have figured out how to make peace with big labour, Sullivan seems bent on refusing to acknowledge the obvious: sign the five-year contract and shut the fuck up."
This is nothing new, but in the latest issue of Monocle, Vancouver was selected as #15 in their list of Top 20 liveable cities. Munich was first. The mag sums us up with a perfectly superficial soup of 2010 Olympics, Hollywood North, Award Winning airport, and active lifestyles. Which translates into a, "Well-connected and weathy, just make sure you like talking sport."
I find it hard to even bother reading or watching the local news lately. This makes it hard to blog about actual events in the city. And I'm lazy. But then you make an effort to catch up and you read:
All of this is kind of boring. Well, except the revelations of the origin of the term cougar, but come on.
Best line I've read so far this week: "I’m in New York City, for no reason at all other than to expand my carbon footprint. It’s a performance art piece, really." Tim Blair is funny.
I just had a few, albeit brief, moments of clarity and need to share. Ready?
1. I don't blog very much. I'm just saying. It's not you, it's me. I think.
2. And this will probably open up some emailage, but its not like I've even missed anything in this city. For instance, Metroblogging Vancouver's last three entries over two days no less cover the following: X-Men 2, the Canucks (in July? Say what?), and MacGyver. The last, while pretty awesome, features not one single amazing link to some video clips. So clearly I'm not missing much. It's like I don't need to blog at all.
3. This will be the first mention of that oil spill last week. 80% cleaned up at this point. Fingers on the pulse I tell you my friends.
4. Not only am I completely incapable of covering actual news lately, I actually slept through shootings when they are within my neighborhood. I mean, cluelessly I sleep and not imagine that Seymour Street is somehow New Jack City.
5. In the above sentence did I actually reference a movie from 1991, starring the trifecta of Wesley Snipes, Mario Van Peebles, and Ice-T. Really? Did this actually happen? Watch that trust me, the cell phone is worth it. As is Wesley Snipes hair.
6. While it may have been $8 millions to build The Shore Club. It sometimes, unlike cornfields in Iowa, doesn't mean that they will come. Fine it was a Monday. Don't judge. Well, maybe this: you can build a $8 million restaurant and can't complete a simple website. Ouch. And Bonus, swear to god owner David Aisenstat was out in front tonight making out with a tall low-rent version of Paris Hilton. Love it!
7. Dear Starbucks breakfast sandwiches. You bastards! Like you need any more of my money. It's a good thing your music compelety blows, because, between the Green Tea Lemonade, the coffee, and these, I'm doomed. I hate you.
8. Still haven't blogged about the fireworks. Crap. Too late. Oh, and I missed the Spanish one last wednesday which featured music Michael Bay's Armeggdon. RAD!
9. I just bought Benson season 1 on DVD. Bwhahahahahahaha. Couldn't find a clip, but here's a SOAP clip.
10. I'm still waiting on the city to turn into a large garbage dump. Not sure that is happening. Private garbage collection RULES! PS: If Delta can sort thier stuff out, we can't because how? Sam Sullivan are you going to take that?
I don't know, it sure was hard to keep focused on the whole Live Earth deal this weekend, I mean, for starters Eva Longoria was like married in Paris, right. Sure, John Mayer really believed that he was "starting to feel the first ripples of what could become a revolution." I'm sure he felt the same thing when he dated Jessica Simpson. But it's Sunday, and the revolution doesn't really seem to be catching on. The reality of the weekend was summed up best by The Daily Gut's Jim Treacher, "Fighting Global Warming with a rock concert is like fighting obseity with aa hot dog-eating contest"
My thinking goes pretty much like Glenn Reynolds, "I'll start acting as if it's a crisis when the people who are telling me it's a crisis start acting as if it's a crisis." No really I will. And if you think I'm not running my fan nearly 24 hours aa day right now you got another thing coming mister. I find it cute that the same "celebs" also hit up the Formula One race the next day allowing Tim Blair to note, "Still, a Formula One race is likely a greener event than the carbon orgy that was Live Earth." HEH.
And perhaps I took just a bit too much pleasure in reading this article claiming that global warming had jumped the shark. But mostly I just enjoyed reading the endless articles about how much fuel the musical acts were burning, particualy the carbon unfriendly Madonna, who produces 100 times the waste of her fellow British dwellers. Oh Madonna, you and your crazy ideas.
Post-long weekend newspapers are just plain bad. I failed to find anything of note. That's not totally true. Neal Hall's "Love summer a Canadian coming of age" article had the following stomach churning story:
"In the summer of 1967, future Vancouver mayor and B.C. premier Mike Harcourt was a young University of B.C. law student, working as waiter on a CP Railway dining car, heading to Expo 67, the world's fair being held in Montreal during Canada's Centennial Year.
He stayed in Montreal with fellow law student Don Rosenbloom, who was running a youth hostel for the summer.
'I had long flowing hair and a Fu Manchu moustache,' said Harcourt, whose nickname in law school was Ho Chi Mike."
This is way too much information before my first coffee! Good lord. Lesson learned, very funny Vancouver Sun.
I am about 49% in favor of the Olympics and 47% against. The missing 7% or whatever is going to wait until the day of the opening ceremony to make up it's mind. I mean I was dreading having kids until the first creature was dropped in my arms at 6am 4 years ago. Now I want thousands of babies. And just like my relationship with the Canucks, and most Vancouverites, when the going gets awesome I am climbing on-board. But until then I don't really care.
What is keeping me from that 50% mark right now is that there is a crackdown on business's that contain Olympics in their name or as of recently, location. Whoever manages that department or thought it up, needs to be drowned like a witch because you are evil. Is this because the citizens and tourists might think that place is the official pizza sponsor of the Games and you get no cut? Or are you more scared people will show up thinking that is a venue? I heard the first brothel opening downtown is using the historic ring logo only they claim they are holes...like a menu...that's going to infuriate the Fuhrer...
Early in the day, one of our trusted sources instant messaged us this cryptic call to arms. "blog a PSA about this shit tomorrow...i'm concerned and outraged... just outraged i tell you..." The message was accompanied by a link to the 2007 City Chase.
It's a good point, 'cause I'm not too sure what it all means either. Of course this sounds simple in theory: "Since its introduction in 2003, more than 15,000 Canadians have enjoyed the Laughter, Adventure and Discovery of City Chase."
It appears to cost $150 per teams. That is outrageous! It is on May 12th. And I have no idea what it is all about. Perhaps Vancouver's very own "Oprah", the amazing Simi Sara can shed some much needed light on this pressing issue. In short this seems to be some sort of wierd throw back to sports days from elementary school minus the McDonald's orange drink.
Did we clear that up, sir?
This Public Service Annoucement has been brought to you by Pud & Dubble Bubble.
This video has everything. Conflict. Check. Long haired bus driver. Check. Spitting. Check. Adult language Check. Just your average story of the alleged abusive bus rider getting his comeupance. This bus driver is amazing - part Otto from the Simpsons, part Undertaker from WWE wrestling. Love it. [CTV News Report]
1. Anthony Bourdain on the Food Network Awards: "Okay...so some brain dead douche bags from Ad Sales and "creative" got together and cooked up this hybrid, fur-bearing catfish of a beast, this jackalope of a High Concept. Fine. That's what they do. But who green lit this monstrosity?"
2. James Lileks on wine labels. "I’ve said this before, but I’m convinced that label design is the single greatest factor in impulse wine sales. There’s a wine called “Barefoot,” and I’ll never buy it, simply because the picture on the bottle makes you think of someone’s foot squishing the grapes." Case in Point. Little Rebel. (and in the same post this amazing video of Russian tunnel car crashes. Insanity.)
4. A Kinder, Gentler Mao Zedong? A Chinese TV show does the unthinkable, "Mao appears as a hormone-driven teenager who is starting his first semester at the school. His fellow students are a dapper, good looking bunch, many of whom later become key figures in China's 20th century history. The show portrays Mao struggling with poor grades, falling in love for the first time and meeting one of his earliest mentors." No wonder Sorkin failed with Studio 60, he should be working on Young Bill Clinton or Young Jimmy Carter shows.
7. After watching the Red Sox sweep the Yankees at Fenway for the first time in 17 years and enjoying the wonder that is Daisuke Matsuzaka pitching. They're right, it is like jazz. Anyway, daddy's going to need to get himself a pair of these Red Sox Reebok's.
On a close read of this mornings 24 Hours freebie paper, you'll find a trailer park residents dream of content. The Story of the man who makes "Hockey Fight in Canada" t-shirts much to the chagrin of the CBC. The story of the local Roller Derby league (say what?). The ad for the $38 million jackpot. The story about History's best April Fools joke (three days after the fact). Stunning journalism.
Over in The Sun, of course there is the story about The Trailer Park boys in town to promote their new book, Are you kidding me? PS: Can someone tell me how Arrested Development lasted only 3 seasons and yet this miserable tribute to white trailer trash is on season 7? I feel shame.
Where the hell am I going to smoke now? Vancouver is telling me what I can't do...again. My favorite thing to do is stand outside hospitals and blow smoke into the new born's faces as they take in their first breath of the outside world. “Welcome to reality little one”, I would say. Actually I have never done that but when I carried my 18 hour old son out the door of Lions Gate Hospital early this March we were greeted to 3 dying old men smoking not 5 feet from the entrance. Luckily they had oxygen tanks on so they can live to bleed the system a while longer.
Anyways, this new law is a few years overdue but it is a little too extreme.
* No Smoking in doorways - That's Great.
* No Smoking on School Grounds - Duh
* No Smoking in Playgrounds - Super
* No Smoking near Hospitals - Awesome
No “Wall of Tobacco” in grocery stores - That’s just silly
Like a Bar hiding the 10 beers on tap and having every single patron ask them what they have on tap. It just slows things down.
If drug dealers could display their meth and heroin for sale, would that increase or decrease the number of addicts in Vancouver? Should McDonald's not display a menu? How many people die of fatness every year? What's that cost us?
BTW I took this picture this morning. It’s stunning. Couldn't you just dive in there?
One of the things about a lame period of non-blogging, are just how much fun it is to randomly link stuff. I mean, lets just do this:
1. Did the day really begin today with three episodes of 24 Season 2? Yes, yes they did. Did that mean the first look at news really was 24 Hours? Yes, yes it was. Was the cover story today really about people protesting the Olympic countdown clock? Yes, yes it was. My scottish pal Oli might put this as "Totally Lame" on his own patented judgement scale.
24 Hours looks at the Celebration of Light which faces a $500,000 shortfall, and has until the end of February to find that cash or the yearly fireworks display is over. Meanwhile the front cover sports David Suzuki who is off on a cross country tour for the environment - his campaign hits Vancouver February 27th.
The Province also goes with the potential end of the fireworks show. Of course, "HSBC Bank Canada, the title sponsor, is lined up again this year. However, you just knew something like this was behind it: Telus will not renew its three-year, $300,000 sponsorship."
Nice to see the Vancouver Sun rip themselves off the Pickton trial for a few minutes to give us this headline this morning: "B.C. faces future flood of 'climate refugees': RCMP". Of course if the environmentalists at the RCMP are predicting future climate disasters, thats front page news.
The Vancouver Sun starts off the first day of the Robert Pickton murder trial with tales of polls (52 percent of people are interested in media coverage of this) as we embark on a year of trial action. It's those stories, an editorial, a column, a photo gallery (online), timeline, and probably 6 or more stories. In case you couldn't figure out that this is a big news story, the Sun has you covered. Meanwhile Vancouver is 13th least affordable city in world and now we are getting the '08 Canadian Figure Skating championships.
Not surprisingly, The Province also starts the week off with wall to wall Pickton coverage. 24 Hours follows suit with a short cast of characters piece.
24 Hours fronts the visit to Stanley Park by new environment minister John Baird. But this was the best part: "A lone protester, 66-year-old Ann Grant, made her way to the conference - park staff blocked the roads leading into Prospect Point so only media could enter - to plead with the government to respect the Kyoto Accord.
'They're not doing enough,' said Grant, sporting a horned Stephen Harper mask and a pitchfork with Planet Earth impaled on its tip. 'More extreme weather is likely to be caused by global warning if we keep ignoring it. It's already happening.'"
The Sun has an interesting story on how the campaighn heads of the three federal parties are from BC. "One theory is that the rise of B.C. talent to the top jobs proves that the province, long considered the scene of the country's wackiest politics, has become one of the most tightly contested political arenas in Canada. That has made it one of the best training grounds in the country for parties to pick up political talent."
And more from Baird, "It's another reason why we have to act on climate change."
24 Hours is a little bit too excited about the BC Place dome debacle of '07. I always enjoy when news orgs make themselves central to the news story, "24 hours was first to report in a Friday podcast that ice and snow wasn't cleared from the roof before a panel ripped. A source said ice and snow "avalanched" late in the noon hour Friday, causing a tear in the air-supported fabric roof above Level 4's Section 54. The roof was rapidly deflated to minimize damage." If it was all a reason to revisit the really bad ideas for naming the dome, 24 Hours wins: "Cream Puff Stadium, Excitement Dome, Our Father's House, Pac Man Stadium, Pigeon Place, Rain Bowl, Turtle Dome, Unknown Dome, Vanburger, Whoopee Stadium."
The Sun reports on the BC Place roof as well, but at least they give us hope, "Crosley said the roof will be inflated to its regular dome shape when all the tears are repaired." Phew! If it didn't get back to regular dome shape, this would be a scandal. Meahwhile Iain MacIntyre tries to reconcile the Canucks 7-game win streak with future dissapointments, "For their last 191 minutes, the Canucks have looked vulnerable, no longer impervious to bad play as they had seemed when they began this winning streak on Boxing Day. Yet, they found ways the last three games to overcome their mistakes and win in extra time."
The Province bucks the trend giving the big frontpage story to a Beauty queen trying to save a life. This is clearly done to cover up the Ed Willes tongue kiss to Robert Luongo. "After 43 games Roberto Luongo has established himself as the point through which the Vancouver Canucks' fortunes will flow. This season. Next season. For as long as he's wearing the team's colours. He's the reason the Canucks are respectable now and he's the reason there's hope for the future."
Thankfully there are a couple of remainders from the Sunday edition. like news Joy of joys, word on the new Naomi Klein book "Blank is Beautiful: The Rise of Disaster Capitalism", "The author of No Logo is back with another book that looks at the perils of capitalism and globalization. Klein argues the remaking of the world into the global marketplace is built upon violence and "shock therapy" of various sorts: physical, social and economic. Blank promises to be the thing publicists dream of: controversial." There's also a really amazing What's in, what's out for 2007 list. I say this is a bit of a wash to be honest, "In: Cardigans for men. Out: Blazers over a hoodie. Trend-conscious men are abandoning the trusty blazer-over-a-hoodie look in favour of geek-chic cardigans. Today's cardigans are less Mr. Rogers and more an offbeat style statement, showing up in collections from Yves St. Laurent to Paul Smith."
I posted first because I am standing outside the total carnage that was BC Place. Around noon today the roof of BC Place imploded sending thousands of seagulls to their deaths, or to another roof in the city. My sources have yet to confirm.
The Lions deserve a better home though so this is good news so long as no one got hurt. I am drawing up plans for a retractable roof with lasers. Will update shortly.
Anyways here is a picture courtesy of someone I work with that got it from someone else.
24 Hours gives the cover to 250 Vancouver women who think a great career choice will be getting on the Canadian version of Deal or No Deal and brushing with the greatness that is Howie Mandel. Meanwhile Darren Parkman's Seeing Stars column gives us the a-list run down on the doings of Corey Feldman (bonus points for the mention of Corey Haim and how they are filming their reality show here for some reason), Loverboy's Mike Reno, and Anne Heche, who enjoyed a night out.
In the Sun, they too devote cover page real estate to the Deal or No Deal model search. In sports Elliot Pap gets clever with a "Grand theft, Canucks" headline before wetting him self in a Luongo tongue kiss: "On a night in which they appeared ready to lose, the surging Vancouver Canucks found another way to win.
The Canucks eclipsed the Dallas Stars 2-1 in a six-round shootout Wednesday as goalie Roberto Luongo earned nearly all his $6.75 million with 44 saves, including five in the shootout."
The Province gives Vancouver an 'F' for not knowing how to throw a party. The editorial on no fun Vancouver this New Years Eve: "When the cameras panned along Robson Street, all viewers saw was a huddled, rather glum-looking crowd at a loss for something to do. Is that really the image we wish to project to the world in advance of the Games?" But worse, is the notion of this, "Surrey put Vancouver to shame, as did Whistler. Both communities put on hugely successful celebrations with alcohol-free entertainment for all ages."
I hate the fact that you take a couple of days off, and you lose some good people. First James Brown and now Gerald Ford.Wonkette reports on the passing of the man who "first gained fame for whitewashing the assassination of John F. Kennedy":
"But even though Ford was respected by Democrats and Republicans back in the day, and even though he finally ended America’s pathetic horror in Vietnam, historians will remember Gerald Ford as the man who clumsily empowered America’s greatest villains: Donald Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney. Oh, and he gave a complete pardon to Richard Nixon. Whip Inflation Now!!!"
Well, at least Saddam is almost dead too. It may be Wednesday already, but it feels like a really bad Monday.
The Sun keeps the panic and fear going with "Forecast points to a hairy week ahead". "The high winds that left 190,000 homes without power and caused commuter gridlock on Monday are likely to strike again this afternoon, and then again on Thursday, Environment Canada forecasters have warned."
The Province follows suit with a cover proclaiming "Wind Warning". "Batten down the hatches. Another storm is due to blast into B.C. today, following a big blow yesterday that knocked out power to 190,000 B.C. Hydro customers"
The Sun starts our Monday off with the RCMP, get this, taking a stand on the saffe injection site. "The three-page analysis, obtained by The Vancouver Sun, suggests that the 'harm reduction' approach -- helping addicts avoid overdosing or contracting HIV-AIDS -- actually encourages drug use." The best part is a photo of the inside of the injection site - you've probably seen it before - it still looks like a funky club. Hmmmm....In the sports section Iain Macintyre tries to write about the Canucks but begins with this, "As the Vancouver Canucks lurched from one mini-crisis to another this fall, panicking their overwrought, overexpectant fans at each turn, the worst that could be said about them was they aren't good enough."
The Province is particularly useless this morning. Monday is the worst paper day anyway. Ben Kuzma in the sports section goes for potential Canucks trade talk. "Trade Brendan Morrison for Mike Comrie. Deal Matt Cooke for Ryan Malone. Sign free-agent Jason Allison. You name it and Vancouver Canucks general manager Dave Nonis has heard it this season -- especially during his weekly radio exchange with furious fans."
24 Hours gives the cover to another attempted 'squat' yesterday by housing advocates. "ix people out of about 30 protesters were arrested when police moved in. The protesters, made up of a group called the Anti-Poverty Committee, say they're now setting their sights on the province to solve homelessness, after two previous squats targeted the City of Vancouver." The key word is 'solve' which seems like a stretch for any government. Meanwhile there is a really great article on "Being...single for the holidays" that offers up such great advice as "be jolly" and "leave the elves at home".
The water boil advisory has been lifted so I guess that means I can finally bathe and brush my teeth. My fingers are all stuck together and my mouth would be best described as a furry anus with teeth. So disgusting I know but I would rather be unclean than wash myself with water that is filthy and teeming with parasites. What a long week.
Two days in a row. TWO DAYS IN A ROW. This morning I was greeted upon leaving my apartment with another one. You guessed it, I saw another idiot wearing flip flops. This guy was smoking and taking his dog for a morning constitutional. It's bad enough that a little snow cripples this city - and god help us all if anything bad ever really happens (read: earthquake) here - but do we really need people from Yaletown pretending they live in L.A.? We know you are douchebags already, okay bud.
PS: I also saw some completely useless wanker riding his bmx bike.
I have to say that I was pretty disapointed that after the Lions won the Grey Cup there wasn't more mass hysteria. Then again, since the onslaught of Vancouver being very close to banana republic territory with this water problem. But when 24 Hours goes for "Lion Kings" on the front cover, you know without a doubt that nobody really cares. At least I could get a coffee this morning, unlike Friday, but that doesn't help much when I have to read this:
"In downtown bars, the hoisting of the Grey Cup brought plenty of cheer - and a couple of sighs of relief after a less- than-impressive second half from the Lions. 'It definitely wasn't a classic,' said Mike Shuttleworth, one of the more passionate fans at the Doghaus bar and grill, located across the street from B.C. Place. 'But it was a good solid game for the Lions.'"
For the record, who actually goes to the Doghaus? Is that for real? And who goes to the Doghaus to cover the Grey Cup? Probably the same kind of guys who chuckles at Iain MacIntyre's opening line in todays Sun. "Not since Dorothy and Toto survived the Wicked Witch of the West and made it home to Kansas has anyone been as relieved as the Vancouver Canucks were Sunday to get back to where they started." The Sun also went for broke on their cover with "Lions Roar in Winnipeg".
Over in The Province, after you get through the wall to wall B.C. Lions coverage, you get this amazing headline: "No Grinch rains on Santa's parade." What I find hard to believe is that 230,000 people ACTUALLY came out to watch this creepy homage to Christmas in the middle of November. And did they really put these two headlines out today. Front: Beautiful B.C. Back: Grey Pride. Really? Whatevs, I just can't wait for this in tomorrow's edition: "Dazzling Dogs - Having nightmares your chien isn't chic enough? Susie Wall has some stylish suggestions for pooch fashion." I can hardly stand it right now.
The Province has this story, "Naked dad fights off home invader" which should totally be on the cover, but isn't. And the Canucks coverage, obviously tries to make lemonade out of lemon, or not: "That's why he wasn't sweating a power play that could barely stay out of its own way, or an offence that still struggles to score goals the way an old guy struggles to pass a kidney stone, or one of the 132 details in a one-goal game that could have swung the balance in the Canucks' favour." PS: Province editorials entitled, "Ugly celebrity splits show need for divorce reform" are hilariously fun.
The Sun has a bunch of things that are bringing me down. So let's focus on the Canucks coverage. Brad Ziemer writes, "With Monday Night Football being played across town, the Vancouver Canucks decided to get into the spirit of things at the American Airlines Center.They went into their prevent defence. For two periods, it worked wonderfully.Unfortunately, it wasn't so effective against a five-on-three Dallas power play in the third period."
24 Hours has a double shot of non-fluff news today. It draws you in with the "Deadly Drug Deal" but you stay for the "Squat for a cause." At least that must be their thinking.
The Province is on it's game today. The front cover headline of "Beaten to death over a billiard ball" is a tragic story of a 20-year old who died in hospital after being beaten up in Nanaimo this weekend. Meanwhile on the back we have Sami Salo, "Salo's Biggest Shot." And the two overtime win euphoria this weekend is now quickly moved into, if Salo keeps it up he will be priced out of Vancouver next season. It's always something in this damned city isn't it?
Over in The Sun there is this 'only in BC' story about confused crows, "The destruction of the roost site earlier this year for development of a Costco outlet and new Keg restaurant has left one researcher concerned and more than a little saddened." Damn you big boxes this is a total crow slaughter. And then they have a big story about Polygamy on the cover too. But if you dig into the paper you get this, "MPs, pages partied at Ottawa pubs" which is gold because of this, "graduates of the Canadian program say pages and MPs routinely partied together and some had romantic entanglements."
24 Hours has protestors this fine Monday morning. "Six people have barricaded themselves inside an upper floor of the old North Star Hotel at 5 West Hastings Street, a heritage-listed building that has been vacant since 1999."
Air Care needs to be taken out of commission. Or instead of the test, we just pay $23 a year more on insurance and the insurance clerk asks if the car is relatively clean and not emitting black smoke. We nod and away we go. I could care less about the money, I spend that much on candy in a week. I just don't want to have to go find one of these centers and wait for 30 minutes.
I almost gave up on covering the papers this morning. But The Province changed my mind. The "Brace for Gang War" cover, including bullet holes is quite amazing. Possibly not as amazing as the story's photo of Vancouver police Det. Const. Doug Spencer who has an amazing mustache. ""There will be shootings for sure. For the most part, it's bad guy versus bad guy but if you interfere in their business, if you are in the wrong nightclub at the wrong time, you're totally at risk," said Spencer. "They really don't care. They're not good with verbal skills, these guys."
On the backside of the tabloid it's Canucks and "Oilers finish it early". This kind of sums it all up, "As for the rest of the Canuck
