It's Friday August the 4 around 2:47PM and

Somebody's Been Naughty: 94.5 The Beat Is a Tease

Honestly this is such a piss off. If I was Matt Drudge I'd have a little flashing siren going off on the site, but we don't. And the fact that I have to hear from some posters at Craigslist that the first bit of smutty gossip in the city, teased by 94.5 The Beat for about three days, on the subject of some cheating Vancouver celebrity, was pulled at the last minute. This is an outrage!

Here is what we know (and for the love of god, please if you can fill in any real details, drop us an email). From what I can tell 94.5 The Beat did what this Craiglister alleges:

Not impressed that after 3 days of hype that you don’t have the Balls to spill the beans and let us know the local celebrity that’s cheating. Yeah yeah, threatened lawsuit by the cheating hubby, the wife was about to announce the name of her husband thats cheating and you cut her off with 20 minutes of music and come back and say you’re not going to talk about this incident again. How about keeping your 3 days of promises and have the wife or girlfriend share the name?? I understand DJ Kid Carson not wanting to be fired as management threatened him, but come on the press the beat would have garnered from this would have covered the out of court settlement with the cheater. I’m sure the name will come out anyway. Now all you have done is leave your listeners feel cheated… Bye bye Beat. Allright Craiglist readers... Any ideas on who is the local cheatin mystery man?? They say hes a Big Local TV Celeberty??

Suspect 1: Squire Barnes

It's Squire Barnes, the sneaky little bastard.

Maybe they didn't want to release the name because it is Squire Barns and the thought of him having someone to cheat on is too much to take.

Good rumour...Wonder if it is Larscheid or Shorthouse, or both?

Good lord. Isn't Larscheid like 80. Gross. Moving on. Too many other options to contemplate.

It's Gordon Campbell. He's had a mistress for years. The press have been wanting to say something, but they don't have any solid evidence yet. Gordo's been doing a good job staying discreet, but he'll screw up.

Don't expect the good people at Global to break it htough. Nope, the leak will come from a gossip outlet such as the Beat. Sad, really. The 4th Estate my ass.

Gordon Campbell is such a pimp. He's like Vancouver's Bill Clinton, without any charisma. Charming I'm sure.

But what can be said about this further information on our mystery Cheater:

I don't listen to the Beat but I have heard from reliable sources that one of our local married sportscasters is into the submissive side of bdsm , in otherwords, he likes playing the slave. He has a profile on a bdsm site, sans pic. natch Never got a name. My source was maddeningly tight-lipped, but I have my suspicions.

Now we really hope it isn't Squire Barnes. Wow, The Beat, you really screwed us. Thanks for nothing. Now we are left only with question, and thoughts of Squire Barnes in bondage. I may have thrown up a little there and blacked out. What happened. Thanks Craigslist.

Posted by Jackson Murphy | Link | Comments (2)