« Buzz Dump: Dialing The Smug, Up One Notch at a Time | Main | Vancouver Papers: The Sun Gets The Smut On »

It's Thursday September the 7 around 11:50AM and

Straight Watch: In Your Face Non-Smokers and teetolers!

I absolutely love the fact that The Georgia Straight has both a martini and a woman smoking a smug long cigarette on the cover. It's certainly a nice start. And I think they are trying to trip me up, my favorite love-to-hate feature, The City Single of the Week, hasn't been updated yet. I'm tempted to fly off the handle about the "At The Checkout" Featurette but frankly I could care less what Kelley bought at Safeway. Anyway, what else do we have to play with in this week's exciting episode.

5. Okay, here's the deal. Cambodia. Land mines. Get it. Hardhitting. Gotcha. So is it bad that i just want to know more about this magical place named Veal Thom? I bet it runs wild with delicious succulent baby cow meat.

4. As always, my favorite part of the entire paper. The Gothe. The fact that I'm referring to The Gothe in the 3rd person for him, and the fact that The Gothe starts his article about Shiraz off with this is impressive. Most impressive: "So are we good or what? Hey, we’re the best. And another canard tumbles; now there’s an entire generation that doesn’t even remember the Baby one." And smug. Very Smug. Le Sigh.

3. The question shouldn't be why hot dogs are the only street food in Vancouver. The question is where is my french style Parisian Bagueette dog, dogs? But I digress. But what a surprise to know that at some level, it's the man at City Hall bringing us down. Shock. I demand more street meats you bastards! And where the hell are our Taco shacks! You're killing my side-kick Luke. Do you hear me Sam Sullivan! Sulliiivvvvvvaaaaaaaaaaan!

2. I could say something obnoxious about the Fringe Fest and the coverage of it, but who am I kidding? Sure I likey the cigs and martini on the cover, but then l just don't really care all that much. Then I had to have this vision in my head: "nipple hair (“the lazy man’s dental floss”)" Wow that was unexpected. Besides, I feel bad for The Straight, they kind of have to cover crap like this. They tried to sex it up for us, which is nice though. I personally would have enjoyed more "ball" talk about Darren Barefoot's new ball-tastic play Bolloxed.

1. Personally this bit on Jessica Simpson was my favorite part of the whole paper: "I don’t think Jessica Simpson is even all that attractive, boys. And girls. Once you tear your eyes off her rack, she would actually look a lot like Woody Harrelson if you could get close enough to shave her. I hope that breaks the spell for some of you." Clearly writer Adrian Mack is drunk - you'd have to be to write that many words about JS, but we'll definetly have two of whatever he's having, please. Thanks.

TrackBack

TrackBack URL for this entry:

http://www.thevancouverite.com/cgi-bin/mt/mt-tb.cgi/689

Comments

Posted by: Darren

September 7, 2006 03:06 PM

Thanks for the linkage. By the way, that's a woman on the cover: Tippi Seagram. I glanced at her blog (http://www.tippisblog.com/) occasionally, and always assumed it was a man in drag. Apparently it's a great show.