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It's Sunday April the 22 around 9:39PM and

Sunday Night Five: Bourdain, Wine Labels, French Election, Mao, Kristi Gordon

1. Anthony Bourdain on the Food Network Awards: "Okay...so some brain dead douche bags from Ad Sales and "creative" got together and cooked up this hybrid, fur-bearing catfish of a beast, this jackalope of a High Concept. Fine. That's what they do. But who green lit this monstrosity?"

2. James Lileks on wine labels. "I’ve said this before, but I’m convinced that label design is the single greatest factor in impulse wine sales. There’s a wine called “Barefoot,” and I’ll never buy it, simply because the picture on the bottle makes you think of someone’s foot squishing the grapes." Case in Point. Little Rebel. (and in the same post this amazing video of Russian tunnel car crashes. Insanity.)

3. Sarkozy wins round one of the French Presidential Election. Meanwhile... Okay that link was just rude. French politics, especially a sweet right vs left showdown in the 2nd vote next month makes me want to do the drunken Marathon du Medoc.

4. A Kinder, Gentler Mao Zedong? A Chinese TV show does the unthinkable, "Mao appears as a hormone-driven teenager who is starting his first semester at the school. His fellow students are a dapper, good looking bunch, many of whom later become key figures in China's 20th century history. The show portrays Mao struggling with poor grades, falling in love for the first time and meeting one of his earliest mentors." No wonder Sorkin failed with Studio 60, he should be working on Young Bill Clinton or Young Jimmy Carter shows.

5. Oh Kristi Gordon, really?

The Bonus 2 ('cause 5 things just wasn't enough):

6. Alec Baldwin confirms the notion that coffee is only for closers while leaving angry messages to his own daughter. Super Classy Baldwin. More so in ring tone form.

7. After watching the Red Sox sweep the Yankees at Fenway for the first time in 17 years and enjoying the wonder that is Daisuke Matsuzaka pitching. They're right, it is like jazz. Anyway, daddy's going to need to get himself a pair of these Red Sox Reebok's.