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It's Thursday August the 17 around 5:05AM and

Vancouver Papers: Doggie Death Row

The Sun sensing a slow news day puts six dogs on the cover and the story of death row dogs who were "thrown a bone" and given prison sentences to be trained by criminals in jail. It's the heart warming story of the summer. Malcolm Parry prattles on for what seems like ever, until he graces us with news of a movie about the 1999 WTO riots, called "Battle in Seattle" which starts shooting in October and stars Charlize Theron.

In The Province who clearly got scooped by the Sun's doggie story they obviously go with the old "Serial robber targets women in stores" gag. Ah yes, It was a short man, Colonel Mustard, with a parring knive in Ruby Dog's Art House. People are hacking up people with machete's and this is the lede story at The Province? Michael Smyth then rambles on about our "Minister of state for broccoli."

24 Hours on the other hand doesn't do doggie death row, broccoli, or parring knife banditos. Instead they have another mini-protest outside MP David Emerson's office. The protestors demanded that Mr. Emerson "re-cross the floor to protect, Insite, Vancouver's safe-injection site." And I just find it hard to take people with Detroit Tigers hats on very seriously. They also let Devon Swift waste 675 words of good paper to talk about how he never takes the bus anymore and the punchline which invloves five items on eBay, capped with "Israeli biker looking for Bus Company to advertise on helmet. So far the leading bidder is Hezbollah Greyhound." Which he adds, "Just kidding" in case we weren't able to get his big finale. And they also have the best article title of the day: "Rash of machete attacks unsettle police." Really? You don't say.

Metro Vancouver doesn't have much to offer except on page 16 and their Downtown Diva, Hadley Warner. I'm not a fashion critic, but somehow she says, "UGG boots, I can't imagine". Yet she can somehow imagine this outfit? [Ed: She lives in White Rock leave her alone... That kind of explains everything then doesn't it. ]