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It's Monday September the 18 around 6:40AM and

Vancouver Papers: Security, Sedins, Canucks

The Vancouver Sun ledes with the Montreal shooting memorial. But it is the teaser on the top right that gets me. Not only is it a lame headline: "Twins Peaking". What, are the Sedins on like acid? Don't answer that. But my god the amount of suckupatude inside is mind blowing. Like this, "the weight of the world used to be on their shoulders. This summer, Daniel and Henrik Sedin cradled it in their arms. The Vancouver Canucks' Swedish twins celebrated their watershed National Hockey League season and identical $10.7-million-US, three-year contracts by adding a new workout to a summer training regimen that makes Navy Seals camp look like frisbee golf." Also on the front is the dreaded first wave/second wave Olympic discussion. As if anyone really cared which deadbeat was running the Olympic Committee. On Sunday the Liberal leadership candidates debated in Vancouver. On Monday the Sun tried to make it sound exciting. It didn't work, especially this buried gem: "Many topics of interest to B.C. were discussed during the debate -- including salmon stocks, the pine beetle, the supervised injection site and the decriminalization of marijuana." Really is that all we care about in B.C.? The pine beetle? God help us all. Barbara Yaffe was swayed by Stephane Dion's, er, "passion" and then recounted this nugget, "Dion then quoted Rudyard Kipling, about East and West never meeting."

And of course, the Airport security scare, which seems almost comical. Did the bag have a prohibited item? Why not open it up? And lastly, the handy cheat sheet on how our MP's feel about Afghanistan. I find the longwinded answers to the first yes or no question particularly hilarious.

The Province goes right for the Security problem at YVR with the "Security breach stands thousands" But this being The Province, their lede article is mostly about the people caught waiting in line. Like we even care. The on the back the paper gets "Bullish on Bulis", which is really enough to kind of make us sick. I can only imagine the amount of towel snapping shenanigans that Bulis and the Sedin twins are getting into after reading this, "The Canucks have Bulis rooming here with Henrik Sedin. They have made sure Bulis and Daniel and Henrik are all on the same split-squad team." But my favorite item this Monday has to be Tony "Skeletor" Gallagher who is not only speculating on this season but also next season, "Because if it's not working they're essentially hooped for next season, too." What is he, French?