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It's Monday December the 11 around 7:45AM and

Guest Blogger: Anthony's Excellent Russian Adventure Part II

Our friend Anthony is currently in St. Petersburg, Russia and we are pleased to bring you his vodka soaked ramblings from the Mother Country for your morning reading pleasure.

"Into my second week in St.Petersburg, Russia. There is more backwards here than their alphabet. Today we shot some footage at this amazing military museum. It was full of tanks, guns, and missiles. Then I realized...most of these things were built to kill us. And Hitler. Well, one out of two ain't bad. There were school children running around and playing with some of the huge rocket launchers, which by the way were all pointed at "freedom".

At one point the army man who was watching us became extremely upset. With the help of a translator, and my "da" and "nyet" facial expressions, I understood why...

He did not like that we were shooting the older models of tanks. He thought we should be showing the newer and better capitalist killing machines. Then went into all of the specs...I lost him there. If someone’s giving me measurements they better be simple ones. 36-24-32 for example.

What was so weird was the fact that this guy was so proud of his nations military might, which I'm sure was ready to be mobilized at a moments notice when it's brand new and already parked behind a fence in a fucking museum...yet he didn't give a shit that we were taking pictures of each other behind the fence, stradling the giant missiles like Slim Pickens.

When I told him that we would shoot the new ones and thanked him for his expertise in war toys, I swear for a minute he almost smiled...but they don't do that in Russia. So, off he went...proud that he was ensuring his supervisors approval, and off I went...ignoring him, to shoot girls in front of a giant poster of some krusty old dude smiling bigger than any other Russian in history...turns out it was the cat who invented the AK-47.

PS: See, dreams even come true in Russia. They're just bass ackwards."