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It's Wednesday January the 4 around 8:02PM and

Alex Auld Gives 93%, Canucks Lose 3-1

The Vancouver Canucks seemingly played 4 periods of hockey in a row that could potentially win actual games. Too bad it was the end of Monday's game and the beging of tonight's game. Tonight the Canucks took a 1-0 lead in the 2nd period. But when you have 7 or less shots on goal each period, you're not going to win games.

The Canucks played a "tight" third period allowing three goals and a finishing with a final 3-1 loss to Dallas. Would suggesting that at least they didn't lose by only one goal this time, be the wrong thing to say right now?

And the gloves are off this ticker intro: "Alex Auld was less than 10 minutes away from his second career shutout. In a span of less than 5 1/2 minutes, the Dallas Stars squashed the goaltender's hopes in a big way." And at least tonight was a new stat breaker, as the Canucks have been 12-1-1 when they have the lead going into the third period. Zing!

And we should have read this Vancouver Sun article earlier than now, but it is so full of gold we must now, as Iain MacIntyre writes a hilarious talk-fans-off-the-ledge column today, featuring:

1. General Manager of the Year doing "The Full Nonis":

"We have not played well the last two weeks," [Dave] Nonis, the Canucks' boss, said Tuesday. "But the question out there shouldn't be: 'Can they do it.?' If that was the question, I'd be more inclined to make changes. We know we can do it. The question is: 'Why aren't we doing it on a consistent basis?' "

2. Best Back-Handed Slap to Canucks fans ever:

"We are the Trailer Park Boys at Carnegie Hall. We are Pop-Tarts and Froot Loops, and Britney Spears music and Sly Stallone movies and reality television. We are leather pants."

3. The often overlooked, "Half Nonis":

"And as for Crawford, Nonis said there is "zero" chance he will fire the coach."

Really? Zero chance? Are you nuts ? By the way, does anybody else think Nonis looks like a puffier Stephen Harper?