Vancouver Style

It's Tuesday January the 15 around 10:49PM and

Buzz Dump: Do you know what Freedom is?

jen-garner-tom-cruise.jpg

My morning started with watching this creepy Tom Cruise scientology video and it ends with news he tried to pick up Jennifer Garner years ago with a super weird line: "Do you know what freedom is?" You go Jen G. That was grossness. Or as The Hater describes the whole mess: "Scientology is kind of like Fox News Channel: rambling, intense, nonsensical, graphics-happy, often scored to bombastic music, prone to overuse of the word "freedom" (as in "The Freedom Medal Of Valor"), and unintentionally hilarious." [Seriously, just watch the top five creepy bits and refrain from watching either of the two links Hater tried to direct you to, a video of Jordy's Ohh La Baby.]

Pretty sure that buying Olive and Rosemary bread, when you think you are buying the super delicious Olive Oil and Rosemary mini loaf counts as a low light. I'm sure you don't care.

Emily Gould (she formerly of Gawker) sums up nicely the Vanity Fair love in piece this month about Indiana Jones over at Jewcy. Note: Count her as the third Gawker alumni that I've crushed on after Ana Marie Cox and Jessica Coen and quite possibly a 4th on Jezebel already. And doubly awesome, how great is Jewcy's masthead: A Magazine and Community for new Jews and other Riffraff. Love it. Count me in.

Mitt Romney won the Michigan Primary tonight? Oh dear lord. And then Hilary beat, er, um, "uncommitted" (awesome and indifferent) and you wonder how America rules the world don't you. Jim Treacher: ""These primaries are like the Special Olympics: Everybody gets a ribbon!" [Detroit News]

This is fairly incredible look at what three guys, a digital camera and four days can do. It's like Saving Private Ryan indie style. Very cool.

Here's a disturbing yet funny look at the downfall of HD-DVD featuring Hitler.

It's Tuesday January the 15 around 10:29PM and

Macbook Air: Thin. Smug. Upsetting. Flawed.

macbookair.jpg

I'm thinking I just might go against the conventional wisdom of the collective on this one. Do I really need my laptop to be portable into a vanilla envelope? The Macbook Air. Oh, and crap it's goddamned green too. Damn you Jobs, you bastard. [Gizmodo]

Update: This is what smug looks like in a picture. [Ed: Correction. This might technically be shit eating actually? Standby. ]

Update 2: And complete with 1st generation fatal flaws.

Update 3: $1799 in the US. $1899 in Canada. Clearly Steve Jobs hates Canada.

Update 4: Fine. I want one. Hate you Apple.

It's Monday January the 14 around 11:30PM and

Monday Round Up: A mirror held up to meaninglessness

Kind of don't even care if this is a fake trailer. JJ Abrams + Star Trek is fun.

The Onion's The Hater sums up the Golden Globes trimmed down craptacular NBC 'special', "But, really, the winners didn't matter. What did matter, then? Nothing. Honestly, nothing, because the show was so stripped down it was essentially a mirror held up to meaninglessness."

Drunk History vol. 1 featuring Michael Cera. Do I need to say more?

Mystery Science Theatre 3000 part deux.

Dogs and Cats living together: Let me get this straight Naomi Campbell and Hugo Chavez are dating? Is this the world trying to balance out the crazy of Britney?

Um, is a mashup of There Will Be Blood and the Milkshake song really necessary? Still want to see that movie.

Tim Blair does it again with this one line: "... In an attempt to break the world irony record, an apparent suicide bomber targets Hamas."

The idea of a personal annual report intrigues me. A lot. Nicholas Felton actually does them, and they are super awesome and design-y good. Yum. Mostly this just makes me wish we could do over 2007. Hate you ever moving forward time continuum. (Via Kottke)

It's Sunday January the 13 around 8:05PM and

Tidbits of Monday Ridiculousness:

Last weekend I watched the entire informercial for the Magic Bullet Countertop Magician. It was too hard to turn away. This is what happens when you don't change channels while watching Sunday morning news shows. This week it was the one for US Gold. Believe you me, knowing about "Nuclear threats from Iran & Korea" totally makes we want to buy gold. Duh.

This is good news. Jeffrey Wells on Cloverfield: "This movie is REM madness. It is Guillermo del Toro on a tab of brown acid with a little crack thrown in."

Hoping to convince her to post a full fledge rant about Atonement I give you not-very-often-contributing editor Josee's reaction via text to the news of it winning the Best Drama Golden Globe: "Serious? Son of a bitch."


Ana Marie Cox's Twitter
from the campaign trail is worth the read for gems like, "There was a McCain event today at Andiamos Celebrity Showroom: "Vegas-style dinner theater with a taste of Detroit."

Certainly readiing this sentence on all of the books about George W. Bush by James Wolcott in the latest Vanity Fair made me crack up: "One exception in the guilt department is John Bolton's Yosemite Sam memoir of his stint as United States representive to the United Nation, Surrender is Not an Option - reading it is like being lectured by a ham sandwich for 450-plus pages."

Which leads us to this amazing part of the terrible movie Hot Rod where a giant Taco fights a giant grilled cheese sandwich. Natch.

It's Tuesday January the 8 around 9:13AM and

I wish I were made of chocolate sometimes...

Kind of an amazing Axe ad.

It's Sunday January the 6 around 8:58AM and

David Lynch Offers Opinion on iPhone

This clip of David Lynch on the iPhone just makes me want to watch the new Twin Peaks box set that much more, and not on my iPhone or iTouch or whatever. Not going to lie, i may still be rocking the iPod Mini circa 2004 so I know what Lynch is talking about.

It's Sunday December the 30 around 8:23PM and

A few Good things with 27 hours left in 2007

muppet-propoganda.jpg

A few last delightful treats before 2007 closes.

*If the description of Kevin Skinners work Invincible, "an army of Berts, ideal soldiers for the motherland, looking ahead, undaunted, unstoppable, and slightly grumpy" isn't enough, I can't help you.

*I guess that can only be followed by all this Chairman Meow propaganda.

*The 1962 Sears catalog. Full of extra awesome.

*The fact that there is a magazine called Garden & Gun, proves many things, mostly just how awesome America can be sometimes. For reals. Ridic, non?

*The fact that Arrested Development seasons 2 & 3 were only $15 each this weekend at HMV. Don't ask me how I didn't have these before now.

*Um, do you think that Paris Hilton and Kevin Federline hanging out in Vegas for New Years will bring the universe down upon itself or anything? Just curious.

It's Wednesday December the 12 around 10:36AM and

Italian Christmas Wonderments...

Graham reminded me of one of the best parts of Christmas this morning.Lou Monte's 1967 classic 'Dominic The Italian Christmas Donkey'. The video isn't all that impressive, especially when this website with scrolling lyrics and the most amazing animated GIFs ever is around.

PS: Lou Monte is super hot.

It's Monday December the 10 around 9:17PM and

Monday Good Things: Hoth Specials to humbuggery

jones-sonda-xmas07.jpg

This could be the first of many holiday themed posts, that as the days count down to December 25th will get increasingly bah and humbugged. Until then here's 10 really good things:

1. Discovery Channel is even better out of context and on You Tube. Here's a man named Bear pulling a 'Han Solo Hoth Special' on a camel. Lovely.

2. The Jones Soda 2007 Holiday pack sickens me to know end. Christmas ham? Honest to god! And yet I can't stop thinking about what it might taste like.

3. I'm tempted by this $600 "Liz Lemon Lunch" photo like you wouldn't believe.

4. Saul Bass 'Henri's walk to Paris' from 1962 (Via Bobby Sattler) Bonus: I'll see you that and raise you some super fun Matchbox labels!

5. Definition of 'Ridic': 2000+ rambling words by Sean Penn on why Dennis Kucinich should be President. Spicoli, you're so funny.

6. Screw blog writing or ad writing or film/tv writing, I should write a Magna Carta.

7. Shameless Scarlett Johannson video.

8. If someone could get me the United Artists 90th century collection for Christmas that would be pretty awesome. Or if I could get something from the JC Penny 1977 catalogue like an "all purpose jumpsuit", that would be fine too.

9. I think it is sad that the Robin's Nest looks like this now Just as sad as how I can never find Magnum season 2 on DVD anywhere when I wants it.

10. Do you watch It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia? You should.

It's Monday December the 10 around 8:43PM and

Alternate Reality TV Programs: Human Bowling

Tonight's theme as blogging begins to return to normal, is the writer's strike. I mean, during this difficult time, as original scripted television programming comes to a halt, can we not have shows like this I ask you? Fox should be all over this angle quite frankly. Discuss.

I mean, clearly, NBC is totally loving the writer's strike. Clash of the Choirs? Is this for real?

It's Thursday December the 6 around 6:42AM and

Who needs reasons...

Let's start today off with a special cocktail of typography and Trainspotting. Yum. (via Oli)

It's Thursday November the 15 around 8:23AM and

Is this thing on?

This Orangina ad inspired me to post. I hear that my lack of posting has annoyed many of you. My apologies. Posting will return shortly. But seriously, this spot is both creepy and amazing and worth watching.

It's Tuesday October the 23 around 8:20AM and

A brief Tuesday tribute to William Shatner

Yes that is William Shatner pimping the Commodore Vic 20 "The Wonder Computer"of the 1980s". This happens when you don't blog for 7 days. Swear to god. But seriously I found this for you today, a Shatner Twitter blog. Cue the highlights:

"Movie idea. "Being William Shatner": I fall down a hole into my own brainworld inhabited by Me's of every age since birth. We all make out." - 5 days ago from web

"Nimoy has only JUST discovered SMS. He won't stop texting me." - 01:56 PM April 22, 2007 from web

"Getting Trek-style automatic sliding doors installed throughout the house, except the bathroom. Why? Because I can. *whheshhhh!*" 12:11 PM April 07, 2007 from web.

God bless you Shatner. You are the bomb. Even if this Shatner Video disturbs me sort of. Thanks.

It's Friday October the 12 around 10:20AM and

I wanna be a Miss Sixty Girl

I am not high maintenance, but given a little effort, I can look reasonably well put-together and I'm happy with that. Or I was, until last night when I attended the opening of the Sixty Boutique on Robson. I have always coveted Miss Sixty jeans, but given that jean shopping can so often be depressing, I have pretty much steered clear. But, seeing the fun denim, dresses and shoes available, all of a sudden, I wanted to be a rock star fashionista. Case in point, the following shoes:

margaret.jpg

I would marry those shoes if such a thing were legal. Never mind that if I had brought my credit card with me there was a very good chance that I would have walked out with thousands of dollars of merchandise. Which brings me round to the drinks... Belvedere vodka was one of the sponsors, and the martinis being poured were light, delicious and appropriately accessorized with cranberries. And as I've discovered the hard way, my willingness to spend oodles of money is directly proportionate to the amount of alcohol consumed.

The event had the requisite tiny models in cute dresses, semi-celebrities and great music. The only let down was the bathroom, which I hear was in the back alley and required a GPS system to be found. But I'm willing to overlook that given that I met my soulmate (see above photo).

Finally, I would like to say to the DJ that despite his protestations, he did in fact steal my friend's drink. I distinctly remember looking down at her beverage wondering how she got a lime in her drink when I didn't have one, and the next thing I know the DJ is slamming it back (well, taking a delicate sip). I don't care how cute you are, you've still got girl germs now.

It's Tuesday October the 2 around 7:31AM and

Elizabeth Hurley's Breasts Illuminate Vancouver Art Gallery

elizabeth-hurley-pink.jpg

Last night Elizabeth Hurley and her gals were at the Vancouver Art Gallery to raise awareness for breast cancer. Wearing a "tight-fitting layered pink dress" Hurley and her breasts wowed crowds and told them to donate money. This also involved turning the Art Gallery pink apparently - joining the Empire State building and the Sydney Opera house. [Canadian Press]

PS: And kudos for Metro Vancouver for trying to use Ms. Hurley's breasts to sell papers.

It's Monday October the 1 around 9:45PM and

A Special Word From Billy Dee Williams

I think now is as good a time as any to post a Colt 45 commercial starring Billy Dee Williams. I only found this because I was on the American Mustache Institute website.

It's Friday September the 28 around 7:21AM and

Musical Friday Trio

I think today needs musical numbers. It's been a long week. Friday's first video from the Buffy musical, "I'll Never Tell." Please tell me that this will someday play interactively on a big screen here in Vancouver?

And if you're going to have an great musical number, can Woody Allen + Ed Norton doing "My Baby Just Cares For Me" be a bad idea?

And things are better in threes. Frank Sinatra and Bing Crosby in High Society singing "Did you ever?" Alternately you could check out "Who Wants to be a Millionaire."

It's Friday September the 28 around 6:28AM and

Che, The Magazine

Che Magazine Ad

I'm a little slow on the uptake, but is there really a men's magazine called Che? Love it. And the ad is ridiculously over the top.

It's Monday September the 24 around 5:09PM and

Hot Box Bare Accessories Party

hotboxbare.jpg
Okay, I'll admit it. I don't think I've ever been to a fashion show before. Whatever. On Friday, The Vancouverite (meaning me and barely-contributing Editor Josee) and our recently appointed fashion advisor/moral compass Lisa took up someone's (read the lovely Nicole Stewart from The Honey Mustard) crazy offer to let us come to a fashion show at Hot Box Accessories (2560 Main St.) Truthfully, the only other thing even sort of related to the world of fashion for me last week was trying to figure how Gossip Girl was the being declared the most important show about New York ever. And I was still just trying to figure out why they cast people who looked 30. Crap, where was I?

It was hard to keep up to be honest. First our cab driver, the first Vancouver cab driver I've ever had who was rocking some seriously awesome tunes took us to Main & 25th instead of 2560 Main. A. We weren't paying attention. B.The pre-party smug cocktails and appies at Gotham prolly impacted our ability to function. C. The music made it impossible to care. D. PS: It was our fault, not his.

Oh, right the Hot Box Bare Accessories Fashion Show. The enchanting candy of an evening of "male and female models baring it all, wearing only body paint and accessories" and "complimentary bar, DJ, and R-rated action" kind of had the trio of us at hello. The reality was, I don't think I even had the clothes to pull off attending this kind of thing. I tried to buy myself some Chuck Taylor's but then I was like, "you look ridiculous, like a hipster douchebag.Just stop."

So what did it all mean? It meant that in a space smaller than my apartment, you had the rubbing of elbows with all sorts of characters, even the models. I'm not saying this was the Cantina from Star Wars or anything, it was just a well balanced crowd. It could have been the walk from 25th and Main, but it was hot in there. At least you could step out on mainstreet and watch the models dancing on the stage outside, that was pretty rad. And these girls we're working these bags like their life depended on it. The supplies of Corona weren't plentiful enough to cool down but (I think) they had Hester Creek boxed wine, which is kind of ironic and sweet and served in plastic shot glasses - er, wine glasses.

Between learning all about Matt & Nat and their positivity message and their handbags, to the amazing selection of duct tape wallets with amazing skulls on them, to the Goorin Brother's hats (hat's are back? that's cool.) it was enough to just wonder what the heck was going down. Particularly the burlesque models doing their body paint thing and girating uncomforatably, the wide range of people in attendence. (Check out pictures from the evening at Flickr courtesy Urban Mixer)

Let me just say for the record, that serving drinks to people in a small funky shop like this seems to inspire "drunk shopping", a sport that never really caught on for men or the Olympics yet, but seems to be extreme sport for the ladies. I think our trip to check out the fashion show ended up with our team buying: 1 gray handbag, 1 green belt, 1 amazing Goorin Bros. hat, 1 pair sunglasses, 1 free Mat and Nat change purse in "mustard" (which along with the gray was discussed about in the context of fall color amazingness) and 1 secret birthday gift. Hey weren't we supposed to be covering this party? Bah! I guess that was half the fun. Had the "Man-Bling" section been stocked full of the same kind of sparkly bits that captured the girl's eyes, I might have tried this out too, but given the Chuck Taylor fiasco, I wasn't all that keen on trying to pull off leather wristbands.

And after that, I offer a simple 5 word review for Hot Box: Funkn' Sassy Accessory Magic Emporium

PS: We wore our sunglasses for the rest of the night, but that is a story for another time.

It's Tuesday September the 18 around 6:47AM and

Wes Anderson's AT&T Ads and Other Ads I've Seen

Here is a nice little look at some recent advertising goodishness. I know what you're thinking. "Post something about Vancouver, ahole". Well, when I had moments yesterday where I could have felt like the man in this unfortunate Rock Paper Scissors video and often feel like I have to deal with my own 'send to Mordor' bunker. The question is, do you like your ads directed by famous directors? Featuring insane newly named snackfoods, or in massive 40-story hotel wrappings? Or do you even care? If my comments we're back working I'm sure you'd tell me.

1. I don't really care what Film Drunk says, I really like these AT&T spots directed by Wes Anderson. Okay, yes they are smug and self satisfying. And?

2. I can't even stand football, but since these are directed by Michael Mann and feature music from his Last of the Mohicans which is a rad movie, i will grant you this Nike Football ad is kind of okay.

3. Or you can check out P. Diddy's spot for his new "Unforgettable" fragrance that Best Week Ever describes as "I mean, what could be more unforgettable than being held against a wall in some kind of backstage maintenance hallway and joylessly having your body groped by some champagne-drunken rap guy?"

4. I couldn't find the real spot for this that was playing during the Emmy's last night. But the idea of the Oreo Cakester is completely insane. I mean sure they can't seem to get Iraq 100% right, but for the love of all that is holy they have soft cake Oreos. Amazing. And the fact that they ask you to look for them in the Oreo Aisle is genius. Pure genius.

5. Did Jim Beam really wrap the Rio Hotel in Las Vegas? Yes, Yes they did.

Bonus: Yes, The New iPod Nano ad officially marks the end of Feist being not quite as cool as she was a few months ago.

It's Monday September the 17 around 8:38AM and

Things that are Completely Awesome on Monday Morning

1. Vancouver Police. Totally loved the left turn from Georgia onto Seymour (No Left Turns 7am – 6pm) at 8:17 this morning.

Bonus: parking in no parking zone near Granville Skytrain station.
Double Bonus: please tell me they were roughing up someone down there. Awesome!

2. Guy in amazing brown suit. Bold choice sir.

3. That I actually contemplated needing a jacket for the first time in 10 months. So awesome.

It's Thursday September the 6 around 8:15AM and

The Curiousity of the Knight Ridder Watch

knightridderwatch.jpg

Buying cell phones really sucks. The options between Telus and Rogers is hilariously funny. And it caused our dear friend Anthony to be on this site looking at buying this bit of amazing technology by Sony Ericsson, the cell phone watch!

Finally! This gem finally realizes the wonderfully amazing world of Knight Rider. And only $249.99! As Anthony correctly points out, "God, what a glorious world!!" Steve Jobs can release all the iPod updates he wants in the world, but he doesn't have the iphone watch! Try that tough guy!

It's Thursday August the 23 around 7:03AM and

Holt Renfrew Gets Results

I'm not sure which part of this post over at Beyond Robson I like more. Is it the smug "I've had the privilege of seeing the Taj Mahal in India?" Is it the reaction to the new Holt Renfrew store, "My mind filled with fantasies of revolutionaries in khaki fatigues and Che Guevera t-shirts bursting in, guns drawn, and shouting rhetoric like, 'This eleven-pocket harvest wheat riding coat will feed a peasant family for a year!'" Or could it be the return to "Winners, where I recovered, surrounded by comforts of the linoleum tile, fluorescent lights and slightly flawed jeans."

Could probably be all three. Holts+Taj Mahal+Che+Winners=I'm so there! Screw the workers. Love it.

It's Monday August the 20 around 5:20PM and

Richmond Ikea Closed, Not Sullivan's Fault Maybe

It's a good thing that the Richmond Ikea which is closed because of a strike starting today, isn't in Vancouver. Sam Sullivan would be really in the hot seat if the voters couldn't get themselves some furniture. Screw it, blame him for it anyway.

It's Wednesday August the 15 around 6:42AM and

Buzz Dump: China Our Greatest Friend Edition

Nice to see CNBC still rocking the business world with sound advice. It's sweet of Erin Burnett to sing the praises of China's poisonous food and toys made of lead which are keeping prices down in America! (Via The Consumerist)

*Really enjoying Big Brother 8. I keep going back and forth on Evil Dick. But last night I really enjoyed that every time he walked into a scene he had his own guitar solo theme song. In this clip, he and Dustin argue about the big questions, like if Danielle is a skank or not.

*Derek K. Miller asks, why isn't the Clearview font we mention a few days ago, free? So cute, people wanting free things for the greater good. Adorable.

*Things Amelle Gillette learned from the Hills. Like, "Lauren Conrad fluctuates between three emotional states: "Unwritten" by Natasha Beddingfield (elation, interspersed with drunkenness), "Big Girls Don't Cry" by Fergie (introspection, looking out from a balcony), and a bland cover of "Umbrella" (OMG my friendship with Heidi is so dead)."

*This is just awesome. Tonight, at everyone's favorite bar Steamworks, you can go for Green drinks! "A monthly gathering of anyone interested in 'green'. Green Drinkers are from all ages, backgrounds and groups - non-profit organizations, academia, government, small business, big business, self-employed, volunteers, students, concerned citizens...and everything in between." Steamworks + environmentalists = sounds like complete hell.

*Here's another clip. Check out Lisa Lampanelli at the Comedy Central Roast of Flavor Flav.

It's Wednesday August the 15 around 6:18AM and

La Dolce Scooter - The Sweet and Low Life

dolce.gif

Pretty sure this is why you can't take condos in Vancouver seriously. Well this week it is Dolce (535 Smithe). I finally couldn't take looking at their fancy new branding around the site. I know Condohype dished this out when the ads started months ago - and sweetly dishes on all things crap-condo-tastic. Anyway, Dolce could be the trying to be seductive but not really sticking the landing with the "Live. Active. Live High. Live Robson. Live Sweet. Live Cultural. Live." concept. Which is mostly amusing because the address isn't technically on Robson. I'm being picky, but i guess "Live Smithe" just wasn't cutting it.

Or maybe it is the idea that after the 'Live, Live, Live' line you get the bland looking couple having coffee with his red scooter (fine Vespa. Whatever) parked outside. Hell, drive or walk past the construction site and you can see this dirtbag on his scooter all over the place. Really? I mean, if the residence size starting at 507 sq. ft. starts aat $389,900, you'd think smarty pants owner could afford a real car! Besides, you live downtown, what the hell do you need a scooter for?

It's Monday August the 13 around 6:13PM and

Monday Round Up: Les Deux Grande Fromages

thehills_season3.jpg

The following things just might not be really working for me right now:

1. I just saw a random promo commercial for the Charlie Sheen show, Two and a Half Men. Nothing weird per se, but the realization that this is going into syndication is kind of like a sign of the apocolypse, no?

2. Fox's new series K-Ville. It's not that I don't think a show set (and actually shot) in New Orleans isn't cool, but the commercials are, well, how do I say this, completely ridiculous (and much different from the trailer too. Well, just less fromagey).

3. Jurassic Park IV. It took them four movies to come to, "You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have dinosaurs with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads! Now evidently my cycloptic colleague informs me that that cannot be done. Ah, would you remind me what I pay you people for, honestly? Throw me a bone here! What do we have? "

4. I am totally into The Hills season three, but is this place Les Deux for real. Seriously, it looks like it is the Mos Eisley for Hollywood douche. PS: Spencer, you're gross.

5. I think it is sad. Sad like killing fluffy bunnies sad, that many people I might happen to work with during long days at the sweat shop might often feel as powerless as these ninjas are against the might trio of beers. But the spot rules. As does Harp. (Via the always fun Agency Tart)

It's Monday August the 13 around 6:25AM and

Buzz Dump: Not So Rush Hour

Of course, any Monday starting with a 1984 clip of Keanu Reeves interviewng a teddy bear is going to be the best day ever. Okay that overtates things doesn't it. But here are some bits to get you going:

*I posted this clip of Minnesota State Fair on a Stick last year. And quite frankly it is still full of just as much wonderment and amazingness as it was last year.

*in honor of the film Superbad starting this week, you gots to have a little Panama to get things started.

*In honor of The Hills season 3 starting tonight (and of the Season 2 I may have just bought), this is the most ridiculous show I've seen. "Britain's Youngest Brides" My jaw is on the floor. And that kind of hurts.

*We're over Megan Fox, for now, and have moved on to Kat Von D.

*What in the heck happened to Parker Posey. Wait, what the hell happened to the creator of Gilmore Girls. This is a joke right?

*Radar brings us a fairly amusing "100 Worst Places to Die".

*The New York Times seem to be trolling for hits on their blog with the Freakonomics post "If You Were a Terrorist, How Would you Attack?" And no, I'm not judging. This is wicked blogging.

*Since last week was all about Helvetica, it's nice to see a major article in the New York Times Magazine feature the birth of the new font for the US Highway system, Clearview.

*Kind of really looking forward to reading "Cool it: The Skeptical Environmentalist's Guide to Global Warming."

*What is it with Andersons and wacky and directing? Or in this case Andersson. A selection of Swedish commercials by Roy Andersson.

*Documentaries rule. Have you heard about: Who Is Harry Nilsson? How about The King of Kong? And yes, In the Shadow of the Moon looks good.

*I took a certain amount of glee that Rush Hour 3 only took in $50.2 million this weekend. Not that this isn't a lot of money, in fact it's too much, this is like the Two and a Half Men of movies. Lots of reviews amused me, particularly this line in The Star, "Rush Hour 3 is a blockbuster sequel filmed with the enthusiasm of jury duty and as barren of novelty as a burned-out souvenir stand."

*Joe Cocker and John Belushi Feeling Allright.

*Last week James Leong of Vancouver won the 2007 Scrabble Player's Championship. At least we can win something in this city. I'm looking at you Canucks.

*Last but not least. How amazing is Creed on The Office? His blog is dope (remember he has a blog called Creed Thoughts). Check this, "The other day, I overheard some dudes at work – the fatso and the fruit – and they were talking about some internet video of water buffaloes fighting lions. I don’t know about you, but that’s the kind of thing I can build a whole night around. I stopped at the supermarket on the way home and picked up some things to get me in the mood: Buffalo jerky, buffalo wings, Frosted Flakes, some cupcakes, and a bottle of white wine. (Side note: I couldn’t find any lion-related items at the store, so I settled for the Flakes because of the Tiger. It was the best I could do.) When I got home, I was really jazzed for a good old-fashioned jungle fight. " (More Creed with Top 10 Creed Moments)

It's Monday July the 30 around 6:48AM and

Monday Morning Random Stuff

-This is apparently old, but I've somehow managed to miss this hilarious Leroy Jenkins clip. You have to invest a few minutes in this, but the payoff is huge, and makes you want to mock these video game playing dorks for the rest of the day. Nerds are so adorable.

-Best Week Ever asked the "big" question. "Why do the British get away with this brilliance, and all we’ve got to show is Two and a Half Men?"

-Really? A Criterion Armageddon? Seriously? What is going on Criterion? I guess maybe it is because J.J. Abrams wrote it? Really? Actually more shocking waas that he wrote 1997's classic Gone Fishin'. Damn you Youtube for failing to come up with any relevant clips for this movie. Damn you. Just remember this classic line: Gus Green: This is gonna be a 10! Joe Waters: Ten plus! Joe Waters, Gus Green: Borderline 'leven!

-Still haven't seen The Simpsons Movie. But I did see the episode where they go to China this weekend. The dragons are so awesome. Seriously freaky cool. And this is pretty awesome, President Schwarzenegger. Somehow this made me think of this crazy Jet Li movie Fong Sai Yuk where they have a whole fight on top of people. It's ridiculous and amazing.

-Crap. The real transformers. God help us all. Well, I mean it's not this, although that is hilarious.

-Wonkette reports on the brief Bush presidency as VP Dick Cheney went under the knife this weekend. "While Cheney was under the knife, George W. Bush enjoyed two hours of being “in charge.” White House spokesman Tony Snow said Bush sat in Cheney’s chair, pretended to talk to “big important people” and “the King of China” on the telephone, appointed his dogs to the Supreme Court, and had “secret service agents” accompany him to lunch at an Applebee’s in suburban Maryland, where he enjoyed a “presidential burger” with curly fries and then had some ice cream."

It's Wednesday July the 25 around 7:04AM and

The Power of a good Cheese Rock Out

I know I haven't seen the Michael Bay movie version, but I was listening to a podcast by Chris and Jimmy this morning, and they made a really great point about how ridiculous this scene was in the original movie. I mean, why does it feature the song "The Touch" by Stan Bush. Fight scene + cheesy ballad = pretty awesome? I'm not convinced. Well, this probably helps. Holy!Roc

It's Tuesday July the 24 around 7:24AM and

Buzz Dump: Lindsay Lohan Makes Tuesday Great

*Oh brother. Blow by blow (pardon the pun) coverage of Lindsay Lohan's morning DUI arrest over at Perez. Car chase, check. Busted for DUI, check. Cocaine in pocket, check. Shaping up to be a nice little Tuesday at this rate. Gawker calls this TMZ's 9/11. Jezebel offers advice on this wacky contraption called a limousine.

*And in Vancouver, we only have a strike to amuse us. Tips on surviving this catastrophe here.

*My head damn near exploded on the news of a Huey Lewis tribute album. Is this really happening?

*Awwwww....When Vancouver bloggers get their feelings hurt from the nasty (polite) commentators.

*I'm obsessed with House. More Season 4 spoilers here.

*This is still a hilarious video.

*Marvel at the amazing 10 reasons why Michael Bay sucks (or is over the top cheese-mazing. I think I just made up a new word. As Victoria Beckham would say, "That's so Major.")

It's Thursday July the 12 around 7:16AM and

Blog Days Of Summer

Does it really have to be this hot? Especially to blog. My bad. It's not like I'm Jessica Cutler or anything, 'cause I didn't say this, "I'm just not that into you. Don't wait up." It just looks like it. It's summer, shouldn't you all be outside or something?

*Somebody asked me yesterday if I'd watched every video on Youtube. The answer is clearly no, but when you end up watching things like Major League 2 clips, dubbed in Italian no less, you probably have some sort of problem. Thanks Deadspin.

*Speaking of Youtube, the above trailer for You Only Live Twice, was amazing. Here's some more stuff about Bond advertising from Adfreak.

*Oh, great. "A new top-level intelligence assessment concludes that the al-Qaida terrorist network has rebounded and is at its greatest strength since the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks." Of course, Gawker notes, "Which means what, they've got access to box cutters again? This just keeps getting better."

*Eco-hooch. Nice to see that even Vodka is getting in on the green thing. Copyranter explains the "pathetic cause exploiters".

*This could be the best online store in the universe or something. Best name: Baron Von Fancy. And can you dig on this shirt called "Baby Wolf Pocket Tee". Puh-leeze!

*I'm going to have to rethink a lot of things if Lindsay Lohan really is reading Machiavelli's The Prince.

*Megan Fox is still completely insane. More, please.

*Big Brother 8 is the only seperating this week from totally being lame. Mostly because things like this Nick dude's crazy gay strategy in the game.

It's Sunday July the 8 around 4:15PM and

The Sunday Best: Topless Sandals to Vin Scully

*Jezebel found this insane product, Topless Sandals. That is all.

*James Lileks asked, "I’m confounded by the fact that no one in America has invented Fried Chicken Pizza. It would seem to be a rather obvious twist on a classic." And thankfully the internet answered.

*Found this new blog called Dear Life which is full of amazingness like this, "Dear "Big Love" Series on HBO, You are an amazing show and I have spent the last three days watching countless hours of you and getting sucked in. Nevertheless, I'm starting to get slightly scared that you are brainwashing me. I've caught myself having thoughts that polygamy could be fun. Like it actually might be a good time sharing one ween among several women. Or that becoming a Mormon would be something exciting I could do. There is something very wrong with this picture."

*Best. Headline. Ever. "Hero Cabbie: I kicked burning terrorist so hard in balls that I tore a tendon."

*This Just in remarked, "there's nothing laughable about child abuse - but the pirates, gold, Jesus Christ, and how they exercise their love for the Lord? Priceless."

*This is too easy. Drinking Fiji water is retarded. I don't care how cool the square bottle is.

*If you didn't get enough Earth-ness this weekend, you could always try reading Alan Weisman's "The World Without Us" which sounds pretty wicked. "Days after our disappearance, pumps keeping Manhattan's subways dry would fail, tunnels would flood, soil under streets would sluice away and the foundations of towering skyscrapers built to last for centuries would start to crumble. "

*I meant to post this like forever ago, but just dug up the link now. I think a building called Jackson is pretty cool. Smug too.

*Just because, Vin Scully calls Sandy Koufax's perfect game in 1965. (via Bob Ryan)

It's Friday July the 6 around 7:32AM and

Vancouver Snaps: Calgary Power & Hipster Beasts

calgary.jpg

Oh. My. God. This is so likeThe Sun's Malcolm Parry except without all the creepiness of signature pictures taken from chairs! Eat your heart out Parry! But seriously when we opened our inbox this morning, there were gems of amazingness that we needed to share from our new snapshot correspondent. Apparently there was some sort of Music BC gathering at Ceilli's last night. And from the photos this was liike Mos Eisley - a wretched hive of scum and villainy. Above you can witness what surely can only be described in the wild as "the Calgary power couple". Cowboy hat, check. Trophy wife with ample side boob, check. Amazing matching leather wristbands, check. Completely amazing, check!

amazing.jpg

I think the world may have collapsed upon itself here, I bet this beats anything over at Gawker's Blue States Lose today. This guy has it all: cool hair, contact lense, greatest little soul patches ever, and is his other eye sewn shut, 'cause that would totally rule. My goodness this rules. Must look away, but totally can't.

If you have any pictures from events, nights out, or whatever, send them our way so we can share them with the rest of the world. Send them to vancouverite@thevancouverite.com

It's Thursday July the 5 around 12:53PM and

Steam Clock of Lame

I still don't understand the tourist fascination with the steam clock in Gastown. Quite frankly the 12:00 show almost made me wish I didn't go have total deliciousness at the Water St. Cafe. Go buy your small thing of maple syrup and move along. It's not that cool, we have more options on power now people. It would be cool if it was powered by the nukes. Oh right, the steam is just for show. Sigh.

It's Wednesday July the 4 around 8:06AM and

Are you kidding me?

For the love of god. It's 8:06 AM, and I've already seen at least three people in flip flops. And by people I mean men, and yes, if you are reading this thing from the office I "work" at, you know that I'm watching you flip flop wearing criminals. Stupid hot weather.

Update: Make that 4. And they were grosser sandle style. I think I'm going to be sick.

Update: 5? Are you kidding me. This is just sick. We are all doomed.

Update: Jesus it's a freaking epidemic. All I can hear are the flip flops.

It's Wednesday July the 4 around 6:33AM and

The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly Quotes Edition

The power of the interweb is strong today (something that can't be said for the news around Vancouver). Why's this you ask? Um, with in a few minutes of searching I found the following amazing quotes:

-"There's bad, there's awful and there's horrible, and then somewhere beyond that, in its own Kingdom of Lousy -- where all the milk curdles and the jokes aren't funny -- is "License to Wed," the latest ghastly exercise starring Robin Williams." - San Francisco Chronicle (via I Watch Stuff)

-"Just when you think 80s nostalgia has been done to death, someone uses Super Mario Brothers to evoke existentialism in a way that makes the works of Sartre and Camus look like frickin’ Bubble Bobble." (Best Week Ever)

-"What would look like a rough night on some people is here made too look glorious and beautiful by the one and only Patrick Swayze. This guy’s about one reality hosting gig away from shirtless burger munching." (Also Best Week Ever)

It's Tuesday July the 3 around 7:24AM and

Smashing iPhones & 1989 Cell Phones

I didn't post a single thing about the iPhone this weekend because I was waiting for the first iPhone Smash and the also awesome iPhone dissection. More amusing is the response video. Whatever hippy this was way cooler than the multitude of unboxing iPhone videos. And while I'm at it, why does Apple treat us like 2nd class citizens up here? No TV downloads. No iPhone. What gives Steve Jobs?

This reminds to post this amazing 1989 cell phone ad - now those are phones people!

It's Tuesday July the 3 around 7:15AM and

Lululemon: L'odeur

I'm sorry, but is this for real? Clearly no. This is a great way to kick off the week, and clearly I need to do more Lululemon postings leading up to the stock launch.

It's Monday June the 25 around 9:53PM and

Catching Up

Quite frankly I was a little shocked that I could find members of a marketing group unfamiliar with the 'Dramatic chipmunk'. This was so last week. Whatever. But if they didn't know, perhaps it needs to be further shared. Seriously what was once billed as the best 5 second video EVER now has remixes - say the Kill Bill Remix or the 'curses' remix - and even the 'undramatic Chipmunk which College Humor describes as, "This is like watching a video of Santa Cluas being born..." And since my "meat is neat" t-shirt was such a hit today, you're right the Dramatic Chipmunk shirt might be on order now too.

And what else can I share while I try to get back to posting...

1. If I said a Youtube clip was here with the key words tractor fight is that something you might be interested in?

2. I was waiting for a good parody of Microsoft Surface. bwhahahahahaaha.

3. This could probably make my friend Anthony vomit. a creepy seafood buffet video.

4. Damn it if I need to watch Arrested Development again after this description "He’s like Jesus, Moses, Abe Lincoln and Bo Jackson combined" - it's a tribute to GOB. Bonus: Chicken Dance Collection.

5. Am I the last one to discover the ridiculously tatooed Megan Fox? I'm just saying that she may be good thing.

6. Walshes girlfriend on the new season of Entourage is Michelle Lombardo. In case you were still thinking about it.

7. New Noah Bambauch film - Margo at the Wedding.

8. Pictures from Wes Anderson's Darjeerling Limited. Hurry please Mr. Anderson.

9. Thank the maker!

10. Watched old episodes of Northern Exposure this weekend. Janine Turner rocked the mom jeans something fierce.

It's Tuesday June the 19 around 6:41PM and

Buzz Dump: Action Packed, Notle Approved Edition

*I really think the networks need to make this show. Notle, Busey, Kristofferson in NBK 24/7 a reality show. Come on, it's unbelievable, certainly better than most other shows. So good. Even better the guys who made it call their company Wicked Awesome Films.

*More extras from Knocked Up, "Jay and Seth vs. The Apocalypse".

*Trailers: Start with Coen Brothers No Country for Old Men. Then watch 3:10 to Yuma for some western yum yums. Then for kicks I'd say hit the There Will Be Blood trailer. And then just soak up how insanely smug this Pixar trailer for Wall-E is.

*Roger Clemens in 2057 is pretty funny stuff. If you like baseball.

*God totally missed the boat on this one. Panda dogs. Pretty amazing non?

*This is the most amazing 'ad' for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles toys.

*Top 10 Unintentionally funny TV intros. This sums up the fun when you click, "It's Genius. This is my number one all time dream job if time and space were not an issue, a writer for Charles In Charge."

*10 Best Moments from 30 Rock.

*Geek out on this. The Star Wars galaxy. Pretty much everything awesome happened in the same area. Hoth. Endor. Dagobah. "Yub nub."

*Listening to: Graham shot me some hot grooves. St. Vincent was playing this morning. I think a trip to the Lamplighter July 30th would be a good call.

*Hillary Clinton picked her new campaign song. She starts you off with a pretty funny spoof of the Soprano's finale. Then makes you go to her site. But really this is what people picked? Can you even win a presidential race with a Celine Dion song? We're doomed!

<