Holy cow. And you thought the "I'm a Mac" ads were annoying. Just wait. These new iPhone 4 ads are like a fine aged stinky cheese. I can only imagine how these are going to smell by August. The worst. (See more at Fast Company)
It's Monday. Of course it's time for a manly mustache surprise Old Spice commercial. Why not.
Can I please get a Vortex Cannon for Christmas? Puh-leaze? A 200-mile per hour air cloud. Sweet. I want this more than an iPad. (via Kottke)
In hindsight, it must have been so obvious to the world that we were going to beat the USSR in the Cold War. I mean our car ads were ridiculous, but for the love of all that is holy, at least our models weren't riding around on ostriches. This is clearly what Mother Russia believed the French were really doing all the time after they exploited the workers and bought toilet paper. Those capitalist pigs, riding around on their pet ostriches! A whole treasure trove of Russian ugly car ads at English Russia.
Yes, lets take my new $700 iPad and place it with in a 1984 Macintosh computer. Look it's a stand! But wait, was the whole revolutionary thing about these is that they were thin? And you can hold in your lap? This wasn't in the Apple video either. (Via Gizmodo)
This is the way to start a Monday. George Washington going into battle in a Dodge Charger with an American Flag. Yeah he did. The end voice over is hilarious. I could watch a whole TV show about revolutionary America armed with modern muscle cars to drive the British away. (Too soon after that World Cup tie?) That would be wickedly awesome.
Being the writer on Apple's new products must be super fun. You just crank out ridiculous statements for every new product launch. For the iPad it was "a magical and revolutionary product" and now for iPhone4 it is "This changes everything. again." Amazing. Retina display? Really? I think they've jumped the smug shark. Completely obnoxious.
Can't wait to start editing my videos while I'm video chatting with people, it's gonna be soooo awesome.
So you can adapt your iPad and make it into a laptop? Huzzah! It's a net book! Why not just get, a laptop? This makes no sense.
This was just like earlier in the week when a friend was really excited about how he updated his iPad so it could use a mouse with it? Wait, isn't it a touchscreen device? What do you need a mouse for?
Famed Documentarian Errol Morris seems to think so. How can you argue with that? At the very least, they are completely awesome. Pure genius. (via Kottke)
Hermes storefront in Tokyo. Simplicity x smug scarf = wowza.
Admittedly I'm a little a jealous of iPad. I opted to finally replace my MacBook this week instead. But it wasn't until I saw this picture that I really kind of wanted one, bad. Actually, I want this whole image, the cute Asian girl slicing fruits with a glass of wine. I mean, a rack of lamb or a stuffed veal chop or something woulda been better.
But whatever. Oh and that iPad stand is off the hook. (Via Gizmodo)
Yep, this cool. Patrick Jean's new short film Pixels.
I like remote control cars as much as the next guy, but this ad for the Nissan Sentra while it looks cool, completely stumps me. Honestly. Why would anyone want this car?
PS: Where does mini-Vin Diesel go? Derek Zoolander responds: "What is this? A car for ants? How can we be expected to sell cars... if they can't even fit inside the Nissan?" (Via Adrants)
Managed to try out the iPad yesterday at a Best Buy in Seattle. It was loaded with lame apps - not a good sign. But it was light as hell and looked cool. Thankfully they were out of them by the time I got there. Cause I think I can wait. But the fact that you can blend them into a powder moves it up the list.
Well, this is good news for everyone, it's "The Menaissance". "You can't become a man by looking at Megan Fox's boobs and playing video games." Does this mean we can start slapping around the hipsters, er, Fauxhemians now? On the bonus side, this is the first time I've actually seen a pretty decent one of these kind of short talks. It's a killer power point too. (Via With Leather)
Nice to see that Kiki Dunst is still working. Albeit in a rambling 4-minute super hip clothing video with Jason Swartzman. It's called non plus one final featuring the spring/summer Opening Ceremony line. (Via AdFreak)
Oh no they didn't. Yes, by all means call and have your hair cut by a real live cheeseball. Only in Kits. Well, to be fair, I could see Yaletown trying something like this.
A Note to future PR peddlers. The hotter the fashion images you send me the more likely that they are to appear on this blog. Case in point these images from the new Hardihood woman's collection. The press release said something about playing with Tibetan Buddhist influences, but it looks to be that by Tibetan Buddhist influences they really mean super tight pants on cute girls. I'm okay with that. But what will the Lama think?
The photos are like they are shot in a fashionable part of Cormac McCarthy's The Road or something post-apocolypse or Delta, whatever. We're no Satorialist, but we know what we like.
Clearly the fashion media people have discovered that if they send me images that feature hot rocker chicks, I will post them.
This is the 80's retro rocker look of Nixxi. They call it a cooler 1980's vibe. But unless we get Reagan back, that ship has sailed. Forgive my ignorance, but I knew there was skinny pants and whatever, but I failed to be in the know the category of slouchy tees. Who knew.
Model looks both super cute but kind of annoyed that she is a model at the same time. Like she might kick you in the junk if you tried to talk to her. I wonder if she is French? That would explain it a lot. Then again it could be because the photoshoot looks to have been done in some sort of converted old urinal or prison.
It's just a fact. Alison Brie is pretty awesome in both Community and Mad Men. The eating ice cream doesn't hurt either.
So Steve Jobs got us all worked up into a frenzy over a giant iPod Touch? Wait, you plug in a real keyboard and it is a laptop. I don't get it. I mean I got that Steve Jobs was all chilling out on his love seat rocking out to John Mayer and playing games, whispering sweet nothings in your ear, or whatever, but I don't get why I need this, and iPhone and a laptop? Here's 8 things that suck about the iPad. All in all, I might give Obama the edge today. Didn't see that coming before today.
PS: If I'd bought that stupid MacBook Air, I'd be soooo pissed right now.
PPS: Can't wait for the first dirtbag to bring one of these things into a meeting.
"Who are the ad wizards that decided that the horndogs of America (like your Uncle Grambo) wanted to see a bombshell like Blake Lively dressed up like Bowzer from Sha Na Na? Seriously, someone at Esquire deserves to be fired over this mess of a photoshoot. Bush league, man, bush league. - Mark Graham, Whatevs"
Previously on The Vancouverite:
Praise Be: Blake Lively (January 11, 2009)
Photo of the day: Gossip Girls (March 18, 2009)
The family that beards together, stays together. This is my new favourite picture. That cat looks absolutely terrified. (Awkward Family Photos)
Okay Vancouver 2010, next time we get the Olympics and stuff, can we get really cool sponsors that will cover our Canada Lines and buildings in lingerie ads. After seeing the 15th Bell HD TV billboard today on the Canada line, I wished Armani was crazy enough to be advertising here with the new Megan Fox campaign. (More at Ministry of Gossip) PS: I just love Armani's creative thinking behind the campaign, "Megan is young and sexy and has a lot of spirit." Simple.
Seriously, where is the official lingerie of 2010 when you are at the Bay? Is it near the mittens or the plush dolls? Am I the only one that wants to see more shameless advertising and proof that capitalism will deliver us from evil?
Full disclosure: This is a shameless attempt to make Megan Fox relevant to Vancouver. Deal with that.
Previously on The Vancouverite:
Megan Fox Takes A Dip in Vancouver
Okay people, it's the first real work day of the year in the sweatshops today. Good luck. I noticed that as usual there were car accidents everywhere this morning, nice work Vancouver. Glad to see we didn't have any resolutions about becoming better drivers when it is raining. Thank god it didn't snow. Oh, and to the creepy guy I saw at the gym this morning who spent equal time rolling around on the ground pretending he was doing yoga and looking at himself in the mirror, this is for you.
Just in case you have a case of the Mondays, here is some inspiration. (Via FFFFound!)
I was wondering why there were no explosions in the Christmas 2009 Victoria's Secret Ad since it was directed by Micheal Bay. Thankfully there is a 90 second version with explosions, helicopters, and knife throwing. Happy Holidays from the director of Transformers 2.
Ahhhh, Christmas 1951. Let me just through another Yule Log on the fire and pour myself a hot toddy. Oh, and get my pack of Pall Mall cigarettes. Sweet:
1. Cure for "throat-scratch" was, duh, Pall Mall Cigarettes
2. Santa smoked back then. Yeah he did.
3. "Outstanding....and they are Mild!"
4. The perfect holiday gift. Pall Malls say "Merry Christmas" for you. And possibly "Hello Cancer" but it's the thought that counts. If Santa is smoking and all.
5. The puff chart. It's science-y. Neat!
(Via Design Interviews)
FRIDAY:
New Moon. New Moon. New Moon damn it. Curse people magazine and their Sexiest Man of the Year issue where RPattz was robbed, or something. Roger Ebert savaged it in his review this week, "“\Sitting through this experience is like driving a pickup in low gear though a sullen sea of Brylcreem." I'm sure this won't stop the Twihards from melting down all weekend. Don't forget your cheap RPattz approved meatballs at Glowbal nerds.
On the other hand, while every teenage girl is at New Moon, little movies should be nice and quiet. You could try Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day or a Nic Cage movie that no one needed a remake of, Bad Lieutenant: Port of call New Orleans. But it is Werner Herzog, so that is good, and it does feature Eva Mendes, which is always good to look at. (Tinsletown).
Speaking of things to look at, check out the Scout Boutique Fashion Show tomorrow will feature Mad Men inspired pin-up designs by Stop Staring and holiday wear by local designer Sweet Soul. (152 East 8th Avenue - right off of Main Street). We're sending our fashionista to cover this, so stay tuned.
SATURDAY
Savage Love author Dan Savage is playing the Chan Centre for the Performing Arts (8pm, Tix $25). The narcissist in you can submit questions in advance for additional humiliation when asking those "where do babies come from" stupid questions. it's like an evening with Kevin Smith but not as fun and kind of insulting. What fun.
Something tells me that a bottle of Russian Stoly Vodka (certainly not that lame Swedish Absolute) and a couple hours at the Vancouver Russian Community Centre Christmas Bazaar (11-5pm, Tix $1) stuffing your face would be satisfying. Once you are wasted follow that up with a trip to a real life Etsy show at Cambrian Hall (215 East 17th, 11-5PM, $2) or save yourself the trouble and just get online and look at the wares of Regretsy home of the "Handmade: It looks like you made it with your feet" art.
SUNDAY
Is ZZ Top really playing the Abbotsford Entertainment and Sports Centre? Yes, yes they are. (Doors 6:30, Show 7:30, Tix, $85/75) Or if the memories of Back to the Future III aren't enough, there is always the East Side Culture Crawl. If you have an aversion to seeing artists in their natural environment, don't look them in their eyes.
Do you think there will come a time when the Vancouver Art Gallery is as cool as MoMA? I'm guessing not. It's hard to be cool when you keep having to bring out the Group of Seven over and over and over again. And the MoMA gets Tim Burton. Rad.
1. "Connecting the mind, body and pole". Is this still something people do? Is this the tagline?
2. Isn't pole dancing as exercise, a few years on, kind of like if I referenced, sweating to the oldies, or leg warmers?
The smart kids upstairs at Cossette turned everything upside down at the Gap store on Robson to launch a new loyalty program, Sprize. This is the time lapse video that shows how that all went down. And it will be like that this weekend.
FRIDAY
Cinephiles can check out the Vancouver Asian Film Festival all weekend. I almost deleted this since trying to find anything about these films seemingly involved downloading a 44 page PDF. I hate PDFs when I just want the information on the FILMS! (turns out the navigation labeled "Festival" meant "Films")
Try shorts like Bamboozle: "When Katie, a professional mascot loses the head to her panda costume, she consequently loses her job, and now possibly her life!" Or Vagina Vacation: "After having her 18th child Nicole is ready to have another one right away. However her Vagina is not, and takes off on vacation!" But seriously, I hear White on Rice is pretty good. And any write up for a movie named The People I've Slept With suggests it is like a mixture of, "Sex and the City with Will & Grace in a progressive sex comedy about a carnally adventurous Asian American woman who
Or you could just see something like The Men Who Stare At Goats and actually enjoy yourself. Whatever.
How do you decide between Soul Asylum in Coquitlam (Red Robinson Show Theatre) and Chantel Kreviazuk in Richmond (River Rock)?
SATURDAY
At the Commodore Ballroom on Saturday night you can see LIGHTS. This keytar playing, comic loving, sci-fi geekery, World of Warcraft tatoo sporting little nerd hottie is perfect for anyone working at EA or who is 40 and never kissed a girl. She should drop the name and go by her Valarie Poxleitner original. Way cooler.
How do you decide between Neil Sedaka in Richmond (River Rock) and Chantel Kreviazuk in Coquitlam (Red Robinson Show Theatre)? Sedaka's Laughter in the Rain is perfect for this dreary day.
SUNDAY
Four words: David Foster And Friends. End of story. Game. Set. Match. (GM Place) The composer of the Expo Theme, St. Elmo's Fire, and more comes to GM Place to soft-rock out with friends like Philip Bailey from Earth, Wind & Fire.
THE VANCOUVERITE PICK: MAD MEN SEASON FINALE
Or you could stay home and catch the season finale (Title: Shut the Door. Have a Seat. Trailer here) of Mad Men. What will happen to Sterling Cooper? Another Takeover? Will Betty really leave Don? Will he go back to the teacher? Will Peggy stop grossing us out with Duck? Will Roger finally dump that drunk Jane? Will he get Joan back to to SC? Will Connie Hilton predict his grand daughter fame whoring? Will Kinsey shave his beard? Will Sal come back? Will Pete go postal? More importantly what will Don be wearing?
Programming Note: Tune in to CBC's On the Coast with Stephen Quinn tonight (5:00 - 5:30). Should be on doing a segment about all things Mad Men.
Someone takes the time to ask, what if Where the Wild Things Are was about hipsters rather than for hipsters. At some point will people get bored of making videos? (Via Buzz Feed)
A trip up Main St. this weekend produced the best salt and pepper set in the world. Alessi Orientales Banana Bros Salt and Pepper Set, designed by Stefano Giovannoni and Rumiko Takeda is the best thing ever. This little bit of awesome is available at Vancouver Special (3612 Main St.) I've just wanted to salt and pepper everything all night.
Here's a three year old pumpkin dance video from the youtubes to demonstrate how into the spirit I am. If that didn't work, watch Werewolf Bar Mitzvah by Tracy Jordan.
Friday
Every week I kick off this feature with a film to see, or maybe to just plain avoid. Someone go wake up the studios, cause there is nothing worth seeing this week. Which means another week of Paranormal Activity ruling the box office. And that's pretty appropriate for Halloween kids. But don't worry about that, it's time for the chosen people's film festival. The 21st Annual Vancouver Jewish Film Festival. Check out some more about this at The Straight. One final film option is the Vampyre Weekend at Vancity Theatre. To be honest though, only Friday's 10:15 showing of 1988's Vampire's Kiss is worth noting. Young, insane, Nick Cage.
Stop the presses. For the low price of $69.50 you can see famed 1980's hair rocker Kenny Loggins live. (Red Robinson Show Theatre). Sure it's in Coquitlam, but don't let that stop you, it's Kenny freaking Loggins yo. Please tell me he plays Footloose when he is on tour. Please.
Or you could venture to the River Rock and catch the Queen of Mean, Lisa Lampanelli.
Saturday
Happy Halloween Comedy fans. Andrew Dice Clay at the Red Robinson Show Theater. $63 bucks to see this guy? That is a trick my friends.
Is it me? Or does Halloween + BC Lions Game in downtown totally mean that the whole city is going to full of douchebag bridge and tunnel zombies? Perhaps you could escape and check out the new Glowbal Group hotspot Society for smug versions of classics like truffle mac n' cheese, lobster shepperds pie, or meatloaf. It will be fully open to the masses Halloween.
Sunday
Where do you go for brunch? Let me suggest one of the best. Joe Fortes. They'll start you with some fresh mini-scones and/or warm french bread before you move on to Classic Eggs Benedict,
Huevos Rancheros, and kick ass Chicken and Sweet Potato Hash. Often they have pretty amazing specials like prime rib hash.
Another hockey game downtown (ugh) and Queen Latifah canceled at the Commadore (wtf).
Photo: rbatina
Not to be outdone by 24 Hours, The Province is doing a Sexy Halloween Costume contest. Lucky winners of the sexy photos for publication contest will get tickets to a Halloween party. Genius. Especially them using Flickr photos to show what they are looking for. Who said dead tree news was dying?
Friday
Kick off your 3-martini Friday lunch in style. 11:30 AM at the Hyatt Regency (655 Burrard St) you can go deep inside the vast right wing conspiracy and do lunch at the Fraser Institute. It's a lively discussion on how awesome the new HST Tax is. Enjoy a table for $650 or a seat for $65 while lighting cigars with $100 bills y'all.
If that is too "highbrow" for you. Try new movie openings of Saw IV (They've made 6 of these?), Astro Boy, or catch the bearded Salma Hayek in Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant.
Friday is also a bit of throwbacker. You got Blue Oyster Cult at Red Robinson Show Theatre (Boulevard Casino). All you need to know about Blue Oyster Cult I learned from Fast Times at Ridgemont High. And over at the Commodore, Collective Soul the band from the early 90's is back. I mean do you even remember Shine? That was 1993 friends. Wow. And I think they still have that terrible hair.
Lastly, you could escape from all of these with Grape Expectations. This is the adult version of Science World. Wine + Science = Fun! (7-10 pm)
Saturday
Yaletown might still be busy with Taste of Yaletown. Over 20 of Yaletown's joints are still offering special three-course tasting menus for set prices of $25, $35 and $45. Make it drinking game: every time you see small dogs, Lululemon pants, or Ed Hardy shirts you do a shot. Repeat.
But then you could get out of Yaletown and go suburban and see Bob Saget at the Red Robinson Show Theatre. Um, awesome. And maybe if you are opting for the Sagat, you might want to just wait for the banner to be dropped on the Cambie St. Bridge for the Bridge to a Cool Planet enviro-stunt (seemed to have lost the link, too bad). Save on Foods (or Whole Foods for the organic jerks) is just up the street for a dozen of eggs to throw at them for closing the bridge. What for, it might be anyone who follows this part of the bridge shut down, "You can also dress up as your favourite endangered species." Fire away!
Sunday
If you're recovering from the Saturday, you could catch brunch and then rock over the 5th Avenue Cinemas and see Audrey Tatou in Coco Avant Chanel (2110 Burrard at W. 5th)
And what would this weekend be with out kicking it with Peter Mansbridge giving The Bill Duthie Memorial Lecture at the Vancouver International Writers Festival. Wait who's going to do The National? (8:00 pm, Stanley Industrial Alliance Stage, Tix: $27)
Friday
Tonight, Spike Jonze brings creepy big head creatures to the big screen from the children's book Where the Wild Things Are. I think I can wait for Movie Central or TBS to be honest. Spike Jonze is great, but kids movies are kinda lame and screenings of such are full of kids. Either way The Vancouver Sun eats it up.
You could alternatively do some big pimpin' with Jay-Z at GM Place tonight. I mean that will be a change of crowd from Hockey game or Lion's game douchebags. Plan: get out of the area before this lets out.
Saturday
5th Annual Taste of Yaletown is on. $25 - $45 until October 31st. 20 Yaletown restaurants begging you to come in and chow down. Check out our own food writer Leslie's preview tour from earlier this week. Truffle Oil haters beware. Portion of proceeds go to the Food Bank.
Vancouver Film Festival is playing favourites and repeats until Tuesday:
THIS WAY OF LIFE – Saturday October 17, 7:00 pm, VCT
QUEEN TO PLAY – Saturday October 17, 9:00 pm, VCT
ONLY WHEN I DANCE – Sunday October 18, 6:30 pm, VCT
AT THE EDGE OF THE WORLD – Sunday October 18, 8:30 pm, VCT
NORA'S WILL - Monday October 19, 6:30 pm, VCT
65_REDROSES - Monday October 19, 8:30 pm, VCT
THE MAN WHO BOTTLED CLOUDS - Tuesday October 20, 6:30 pm, VCT
BREATHLESS - Tuesday October 20, 8:45 pm, VCT
Sunday.
Reenact Michael Scott awkwardness of Diwali at The Roundhouse. This free event features South Asian Dance, a Punjabi market, food, and artwork. What could go wrong. PS: It's not a costume Halloween Party. 12PM to 7PM.
Somehow this post never made it to the site yesterday. I even failed myself. Which is not really surprising. Thankfully we can continue.
Formerly Friday, Now Sunday!
It's Vancouver Film Festival time people. The Heath Leger, Terry Gilliam directed, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus is that the Vancouver International Film Festival. And good news, Rush tickets are still available for the Sunday screening at 1:00 and a 3rd show was added at 3:45. I caught this one last night, and all I can say is that Terry Gilliam must have been dropped on his head often as a child A LOT, because he is extremely insane. Which is cool. And if you like weird, it works. Oh, and Lily Cole was pretty hot.
In 1993, I saw over 40 films at the VIFF. Since then I've probably only ever seen 1 or less a year. Film festivals are not a lot of fun. You have to line up, they are often full, and usually films you would never pay 11 dollars for. Is there such a thing a cool film festival experience?
Saturday
I dare you to say this: "McFarland’s photographs undermine the traditional attachment of the photographic image to a specific moment and promote the potential of photography to reflect complex spatial and temporal realities." That's right, act that smug at a party or dinner after seeing the Scott McFarland photography show at The Vancouver Art Gallery Opening today. So smug. 10 points if you can pull that off with a straight face.
Sunday
For some real Sunday fun, I'd suggest a lunch at an upscale bar, like at the new Shangri La hotel and some Grey Goose vodka - basically anything high end. Then, when you are tipsy enough go check out the Vancouver Socialist Forum at SFU Harbour Center doing a talk on "The World Financial Collapse and Left Alternatives". Heckle them at will. If the revolution spirit inspires you, maybe you add in a screening of Michael Moore's new Capitalism a Love Story or Drew Barrymore's Whip It. They are about the same thing.
Upcoming:
Buffy Lives! Buffy The Vampire Slayer: Once More with Feeling. Two shows October 31 and November 1 at 12:00 noon at Pacific Cinematheque.
I might actually buy more BCLC scratch and win lottery tickets if it was promoted more like this. I mean, not sure if Ric Flair would be the answer, but this is totally amazing, Woooooo!
Well, if there is such a thing as a Kardashian Economic Boomlet, this is it. They have made over a million dollars just being, well, Kardashians and being on magazine covers and stuff. Gawker exploits this for Sunday fun:
"The entire Kardashian family—who we've somehow let become famous for having a sister with a big ass—is making a shitload of money. Read this sentence: "Kim split with her boyfriend of two years, Reggie Bush, in July. Kourtney announced she's pregnant with on-off boyfriend Scott Disick's baby in August. And last week, Khloe announced she'll marry LA Lakers forward Lamar Odom after a whirlwind romance of just a month." And Page Six explains how this is somehow a hugely moneymaking enterprise. If you thought the banking crisis was bad, the fact that the Kardashian sisters somehow made a cool mil out of those events speaks volumes about where money's going these days: into the liposucked asses and cheeks of the Kardashian family."
God, I both fear this and love at the same time.
Previously on the Vancouverite:
You know, for $1250 the Kidrobot model hottie better come with it. But you can still get this amazing 30-inch Smorkin' Labbit Stool for your pad. Also available in 'Stache Labbit version. If it was half that I'd fire up two of 'em right now. Plus some other fun. Picked up a few of the Smorkin' Mongers Menthols Series 2 for someone earlier this week. need that Bacon smoking guy. Now.
Previously on The Vancouverite:
You see, even Batman has bad days. Joker must have totally owned him today. (By bockus)
As the world mourns our philosopher icon, we grieve with ironic Patrick Swayze t-shirts from Busted Tees.
(Photo: The Sartorialist)
Instead of those Friday crackpots clogging up the streets with whatever protest they are doing, we need more girls on bikes. Girls on bikes in high heels. That is a fact. Vancouver would be better with more of the latter, less of the former. I'm just saying.
Heaven is where...
The police are British
The cooks are Italian
The lovers are French
The mechanics are German
And it's all organized by the Swiss
Hell is where...
The cooks are British
The mechanics are French
The lovers are Swiss
The police are German
And it's all organized by the Italians
The only thing missing from this image is the copy of the dead tree New York Times Sunday Edition. Well, that and proof that there is a flat screen TV on the wall. Possibly the smell of fresh cooked bacon or other breakfast yum. Other than that, it looks like the best bedroom scene in the world. If this exists in Vancouver and is for sale, please contact me immediately. (Via Home Sweet Home)
Boy there are going to be a lot of people happy about Ed Hardy brand Hand Sanitizer. I'm looking right at you Jon Gosselin.
Pie chart and clear scientific proof of GI Joe's long standing mantra of knowing being 1/2 the battle. (Via Robot 6)
Imagine that. The Bachelorette, Vancouver's Jillian Harris, has apparently split with her fiance from the show Ed Swiderski. TV Love fail. Couldn't see this coming at all. I'm like shocked n' stuff.
Not sure what is worse. That there is a sword play - sorry "academy" company in Vancouver, or that I saw this because of their Facebook ad. They were targeting me on Facebook? How embarrassing. For me. Pretty sure the offering of "Youth Swordplay" or "Italian grappling" or "Quarterstaff" is the last thing I'd want to be doing. Although admittedly the falconry does sound pretty dope. Fail.
"Has [Gwenyth Paltrow] even been on the internet before? She probably had her butler type out copies of Goop for years, sticking it under her neighbors' Lamborghini windshields. Like, she thinks that she could charge money for this if she wanted? But the benevolent Queen Paltrow has deigned to offer up her infinite wisdom for free? Gwunbelievable. The first guillotine was invented in 1286 and here we are, standing around like 'if only there was something we could do.'"
Gabe from Videogum seriously takes Gwenyth Paltrow and her "People are so grateful that it's free" website GOOP down. Like down to Chinatown or even further or whatever.
What did we even do before the Interwebs. I mean really. Here is the perfect design for t-shirts or creepy van air-brushing artwork. Keyboard cat as wolf moon. Genius.
Photo Credit: Bernbabybern
Presents rule. Got this rad Kidrobot Dunny this week. I don't know what's better, that he seems to be French or that he has a fake beard and mustache? Either way he's designed by Portland, Oregon artist Jesse LeDoux and he's super rad.
Can I say that i do enjoy living in a world where boat shoes exist? It's not like I could actually wear them ever, but I just like that they are there, and that some people are wearing them. I like them in theory. Although, part of me thinks that they should only be worn while boating, or really what's the point. They need to be that smug. Complex has the dish on the 10 best boat shoes this summer.
Looks like America is going full Canadian in there cigarette packaging, Design firm Pentagram took that idea, kicked it up a notch, and turned those negatives into a 'I want' product for core smokers. It's what they described as, "embrace the restrictions and make cigarettes look truly dangerous." And it is awesome.
This is just part of what's to come. This week is going to rule. Top 5. Heading to NYC tomorrow.
If I had $2.3 million lying around I'd be damn sure buying this rad house from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Technically that sad sack Cameron lived here, but the house was amazing - not as amazing as Ferris Bueller's leather jacket and sweater vest, but cool nevertheless. Actually makes me interested in real estate for a change - could be that it is just because it doesn't look like a Yaletown box apartment.
And remember, "A: You can never go too far. B: If I'm gonna get busted, it is *not* gonna be by a guy like *that*."
Must. Have. One. Of. These. Now. This also introduces a concept: That there may be other well designed pieces of tech without an Apple or Wii sticker on them. SHOCK. "It's a crazy, unexpected piece of hardware, so thin and light that the press photos don't really do it justice." (Via Gizmodo)
Golconde
René Magritte, 1953
Oil on canvas
81 × 100 cm, 31.9 × 39.37 in
The Menil Collection, Houston, Texas
Steve McQueen and Peggy Moffitt giving cheers before they get into the car and be more fabulous. This is the dictionary definition of the word cool. That is all.
Bar Refaeli. Black Bikini. That is all. And also reason #442 to both hate and give props to Leonardo DiCaprio.
Can you even believe that this was a thing? Max Headroom selling Coke. Still don't really get what sort of weird futuredom this was supposed to live up to. Either way, a bizarre cultural artifact from the 1980s.
I seriously doubt that my flight will be as awesome as this one would have been. But lets face it, at least I flew KLM and not Air Canada. As Indiana Jones would say, "I hate those guys". FTW.
Pretty pumped. Leaving on a jet plane to Italy. Back soon. Blogging will continue as normal, don't worry friends.
Suicide Blonde finds this bit of amazing: "‘Passive Aggressive Anger Release Machine’ is an interactive sculpture by Yarisal and Kublitz. Experience the most satisfying feeling when a piece of china breaks into million pieces."
I could use one of these around the home and office.
I was inspired after winning this little guy, Roswell, during a music bingo game Friday. Inspired to hit Main Street and do a little shopping at Voltage. It's such a fun store. And one of the girls working there today was ironically looking like a more punk version of Veronica Mars (which as it turns out comes close to the girl working the front desk at Jack this morning who was pretending to read The Watchman graphic novel when i got my haircut.)
At any rate I now have a pancake key chain, a figure from Burgertown, an English Dunny (our Labbits were lonely) and one of these little zombies.
Previously on The Vancouverite: Attack of the Smorkin' Labbits.
Photo Credit: Miss604
Round 2 of the NHL Playoffs start tonight. The above is what happens when two things come together that, unlike chocolate and peanut butter, shouldn't. In the immortal words of Ghostbusters famed Dor peter Venkman, "'Scuse me Egon? You said crossing the streams was bad! " It's jersey wearing sports fans + twitter.
Good clean fun or pure evil? You be the judge.
I saw this and was too lazy to post something about it. But Graham complained to me that "Gisele was in town and I didn't get a memo". He's right, and I apologize for being so selfish. I just figured that if Perez is posting, do I really need to?
And of course if supermodel and famous baby borrower Gisele Bundchen, seen most recently steaming up Vanity Fair, is going to be here riding the Aqua Bus, rubbing her fabulous life with Tom Brady in the face of his ex, while she has to work, clearly not suffering from swine flu, and scaring the bejesus out of the birds then the answer is yes. [See all the pictures at Bauer Griffin]
This tickled me yesterday and so I thought I would share. Seems just about right. [Via Contrast]
This recession is turning into good clean fun now. Pontiac is being shut down by GM. About time. And can GM just cut to the chase and shut Buick too (oh no, they're keeping this old man division open)?
They are still on the fence for the fate of Hummer, Saab (Honestly, Saab? Russel Crowe has a sweet old one in State of Play, but these cars are awful to look at) and the Saturn. Have some balls GM and shut these down. (CNN)
Sometimes you never know you needed something until you then see it, and it's like "whoa, I like meat. I need meat cards." Me want. (Via Boing Boing)
This short film makes me want to go to Edinburgh, and get a bike. Unreal. (Via Gawker)
This guy is completely amazing. Via fsamuel.
I can't tell you how exciting it is to end the long day with a Zappos box with new smug European sneakers in it. These Camper Pelotas Estrellas were a bargoon and 40% off the other day, but I may have gotten the last pair. This is going to be a good end to a week. I can tell.
Cafe De Flore, on a single block on St. Germain joins Les Deux Magots as two classic cafes in Paris. Sure they are probably packed, even with tourists sometimes, and certainly not the cheapest place, but the people watching at both are so good. This photo is from 2006, and also hangs in my bedroom, although this has been faux tiltshifted which actually makes up for my awful photography skills.
I'm part way through Handle with Care by Jodi Picoult and it feels really familiar to me. There are obvious comparisons to be drawn to My Sister's Keeper (the only other novel by Picoult that I've read), but it actually reminds me more of a different story: Finding Nemo. Terrible things keep happening to Nemo and his dad throughout the movie (poor little clownfish can't catch a break). And then just when you think it can't get worse, BAM! Nemo is sucked up into an oxygen pump.
Even if you haven't seen Finding Nemo, you know that all ends well because it's a Disney film. I'm not so sure about Handle with Care - so far there's a disabled child, a different bulimic self-harming child, a potential divorce and a dissolving best friendship. It's a pretty long path here to recovery.
That said, the never-ending chain of hardship is slightly more palatable to me in Picoult's novel than it was in Finding Nemo. Despite all the hard knocks, Picoult's writing keeps the story flowing easily; and in a novel that could easily get bogged down in medical and legal terminology she still manages to keep things simple.
I absolutely loathe the bad luck roller coaster that Nemo and his dad seem to constantly find themselves on, but I'll reserve final judgment on Handle with Care until it's actually time to get out of the car.
Editors Note: Jodi Picoult will be in Vancouver March 24th at 7 PM at Chapters, 788 Robson Street.
Creepy? Perhaps. Joyful? Most definitely. I have decided this morning that I need a couple of these for the apartment. The worlds most powerful and awesome toilet in the world. You know, it's all about the flushing power. [Via VideoGum]
Sean Connery, holding a painting of himself wearing an ascot looking at a shirtless man. 110% pure awesome. [via Film Drunk]
She's on Top Chef. Dates creepy old men. And is full of awesome. But do we need to see how awesome her house is. Padma, why do you hate me. [via Apartment Therapy]
I think having your ad campaign starring Grace Kelly, Albert Einstein, Orson Wells, an absent Salvador Dali who the copy says is ordering in room service Dali, and Kristen Scott Thomas is pretty awesome. Not sure I get the Last one, but the campaign makes me want to get to Le Meurice in Paris, like now. It's star studded stunning and actually tells a bit of a story of guests past. Le sigh.
Dear Tommy Hilfiger. I know times are tough right now Tom, but is flaunting a no socks motif in with your new 2009 campaign in the latest Vanity Fair a good idea? Is it really? It's gross. Get some socks on these hobos. Thanks a lot, The Vancouverite.
Soak this up for a bit kids. Soak it up and let it burn into your soul. "Happy Flight" by Joseph Griffith could be the best thing I've seen. He describes the work thusly, "Jesus riding Falkor the Luck Dragon from the Neverending Story. Together they will conquer the Nothing and save the dreams and hopes of all mankind. (2006)" Watch it and listen to the audio of the video by Limahi. Then watch my favorite Family Guy clip of all time. Yeaaaah. (Via Film Drunk)
Stop the presses. If you wanted a huge marketing campaign right now, hire Mickey Rourke, get him to do your beer commercial, viola. Move product. Repeat. This is a free one Stella, next time you pay. PS: The outfit is AWESOME and who is that in blue?
Well if this doesn't get me inspired to get back on the Wii this week, I don't know what will. Thanks Obama Girl. Shameless. Also, can't wait to watch the State of the Union tomorrow night (6PT) It's like a real Super Bowl game. Woot.
(Photo via VKM2F on Flickr)
On Saturday, Yaletown was lit up for "Illuminate Yaletown". One of our roving correspondents filled us in with this review of fun city:
1. It was brutal. It looked like elementary school project.
2. There would be one building, then nothing for 6 and then finally another one.
3. i got sooo mad, another Vancouver fail.
4. They left the streets open to traffic so they were jammed, couldn't walk anywhere.
5. Awful planning. B-R-U-T-A-L.
If you thought I had schaedenfreud for housing in Yaletown, it is nothing compared to my feelings to Dubai. That place is the worst. Smashing Telly:
"Short of opening a Radio Shack in an Amish town, Dubai is the world’s worst business idea, and there isn’t even any oil. Imagine proposing to build Vegas in a place where sex and drugs and rock and roll are an anathema. This is effectively the proposition that created Dubai - it was a stupid idea before the crash, and now it is dangerous.Dubai threatens to become an instant ruin, an emblematic hybrid of the worst of both the West and the Middle-East and a dangerous totem for those who would mistakenly interpret this as the de facto product of a secular driven culture."
Sure do wish Veronica Mars was still on TV. I guess I'll settle for Kristen Bell at the Miss Sixty show at Fashion Week 2009.
Canadian model Meghan Collison walks the catwalk for Miss Sixty at Fashion Week 2009.
Oh Derek Jeter. I couldn't loathe you more than I already do. Minka Kelly hangs with Sixty Group Creative Director and Co-Founder Wicky Hassan.
Here was the show's soundtrack:
Cherry Bomb - Dance Mix / Joan Jett & The Blackhearts
Night Train / The Kills
Lusty Lady /Crazy Girl
1,2,3,4 Rock&Roll / Pravda
I Wanna Be Your Dog / Futon
My Delirium / Ladyhawke
Sheena Is A Punk Rocker / Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Also samples from:
Paris Is Burning (Peaches Remix) / Ladyhawke
We Don't Play Guitars / Chicks on Speed
There are two reasons for posting about Fashion Week. Minka Kelly and Kristen Bell. Both were at the Miss Sixty show in NYC. I find it kind of fun that the collection is channeling the 80's and some motorcycle-chic. Okay, and they emailed the photos. (More at Gawker.com)
Kind of a money shot of the front row, you see Minka Kelly and Kristen Bell. Well it would have been if it wasn't for the Mischa Barton. Nobody's perfect.
Having been unable to redesign my blog for nearly 2-years now, far be it for me to be the kettle calling Pepsi the pot, but maybe, just maybe they should have dragged their heals on their rebrand. Kind of how I have had these links bookmarked since October.
Just as the new rebrand was hitting the market back in October, they started announcing huge layoffs and a nearly 10% earnings drop. And lets not forget that massive costs of rebranding. Kottke was right, they should have done this retro return.
Tomorrow during the Super Bowl, the Cola Wars are back on, and we'll see how this logo does. On the other hand, Pepsi has a pretty interesting web site at Refresh Everything. And can you really go wrong with GOB, I mean Will Arnett (If only if he uses the term, "'puter"). But this spot is ridiculous. Still not watching or drinking it though.
Rewatched the trailer for Objectified as, clearly, i'm going through a bunch of old links today. I really enjoyed Gary Hustwit's last one, Helvetica, and I'm sure this will be great too. When will the digital age bring movies out to the world faster?
Love. Love. Love. "Ground Defender". This shirt design, which has been a wicked desktop wallpaper for weeks, by Glennz. "As the invasion from space intensified, there were three ground force units deployed to hold them off. The first two were destroyed in battle leaving one last survivor to chalk up its hits"
New favorite recession shirt. (via Busted Tees)
I didn't know I wanted a 1975 Chrysler Cordoba until now. In fact, I wasn't whole until now. Why can't Detrit make commercials like this anymore? Or cars like this. Ricardo Mantalban passed away this week, and the world lost Khan, and Mr. Roarke. Sadness.
I'm pretty sure Aunt May would have some words of wisdom for Obama. Either way, he hits the fanboy market big time appearing in the Amazing Spider Man #583.
Check out some of the best thoughts from around the internets today:
"Anyone see the new Mac stuff?More 3D maps in my videos! Finally." - Jimmy Fallon.
"Dear Hamas, (and most of the rest of the Arab world), What are you thinking? You cannot still be calling for the destruction of Israel. Seriously, it is not gonna happen. Let's just forget the infidelish, anti-Semitism of it all and concentrate on your Blagojevichian arrogance. Do you really think you can accomplish what the Germans could not? Germans? The people who built special camps dedicated to eradicating Jews from the face of the Earth. The master race who, for four straight years, killed every Jew that wasn't hidden by Oskar Schindler? You really think you can outdo the Germans?" - 23/6.
"Wow, this guy is a jerk. Here, in this exclusive CNN report on some old public-teevee food show in Chicago, we see that Barack Obama was being a fancy show-off even way back when he was a lowly state senator a few months ago. This restaurant-review episode never aired because Smooth Barry just shamed these poor slobs, who no longer had the will to talk, or even live." - Wonkette.
I was out propping up the economy again earlier this week and stopped in at Golden Age on Granville to get something, and on my grumpy pants friend Gord's reco, I picked up the first of three issues of Batman Cacophony. This is the first one off comic I've bought in like 20 years - maybe longer. Maybe it was that it was breaking up this week's reading of Jonah Goldberg's Liberal Fascism (more on that later).
It was, as comics are, a quick palette cleansing read last night. Mostly because it has so much Smithisms to be read within. It starts timely enough with a mention to the economic crisis - this is the device that sets the whole story off - one involving The Caped Crusader, the Joker, and Smith's own evil creation from his Green Lantern writing, Onomatopeia. It's tough to envision the Joker after The Dark Knight and Heath Ledger's brutally insane take this summer, but Smith uses the comic medium to his advantage with the old green hair. Who else but Smith would pen the Joker saying, "I miss the bars. But throw one measly piece of POO at a guard and suddenly it's all bullet-proof glass for our hero." It's a fun little read, and I think part two is out today. This was certainly Smith's better offering in 2008 over Zack and Miri.
But Goldberg's book is an interesting one too, and I'm back at it (clearly...). In response to a longish opening shot at perceptions of Mussolini tenure as a right winger he writes, "Ah, yes. Those anti-elitist, stock-market-abolishing, child-labor ending, public-heath-promoting, wealth-confiscating, draft-ending secularist right-wingers!" The NDP's Jack Layton would be all over this guy circa 1919.
Update: On a slightly related note, Io9 asks the timely question, "Hippie Hatred: Does Marvel Comics Hate Hippies?" Kind of amazing!
I gave one Christmas gift early. These are a package of Smorkin' Labbits. Currently they are attacking a great wooden display of Paris I picked up at Muji a few years back and keeping the large Labbit company - he was very lonely. This third series of Labbits came in a pack of 25, my favorite might be the one with the flames. "This third series features an even wider range of stumpy legged punks, taking a few past their typical nicotine addiction in the realm of moustaches, bubblegum and more."
As a side note, I ordered them online from Voltage (4346 Main St.). I know what you're thinking, I was so lazy I didn't even make it to a store in my own greater hood. Bah! The service was great, and was in my mailbox 2 days later. Genius. Great fast service with no hassles.
I'm not sure I understand what this VW ad is really all about, but I do know that really want to have a dog fish running around. Cool.
Wes Anderson + Brad Pitt in Yellow + topless photography + France = wacky Japanese commercial time. Being an advertising creative in Japan must be like winning the creative lottery. Is there anything they won't buy? Melon Pepsi. Flavored Kit Kats. God bless those gullible bastards.
Terrifying. So terrifying. Another Heidi and Spencer photo shoot, this time holiday themed. I want to know how much these nitwits make by staging these photos, cause I could totally start doing this.
Skinny, creepy, hipster Santa is not cool and honestly who knew they still made Palm products anymore (via The Onion). Funny story, I actually heard a friend of mine living in Regina, tell me he was finally thinking about getting rid of his Palm Pilot. That is almost ironically cool. Here are some more festive links:
*This photo stream "Christmasville" is a goldmine of amazing retro holiday goodness.
*Really? A Communist Christmas.
*I think this French Chateau would be a great place to just hang out.
This would be a graphic novel I would actually totally read. "Smurf Wars" might be the story, as conceived by the talented Marcelo Braga, of how the Smurfs finally do away with Gargamel and his stupid cat Azrael.
Peanut Butter. In individually wrapped and sliced form. What economic collapse? Clearly news of America's downfall are exaggerated, yet again.
Man I want a Coke so badly. Not because of the ad per se. Just because it is Day 8 of 12 of this damned cleanse. It's really a shame about the Bond movie title being so lame.
Tim Robbins wearing a ridiculous "Hockey Dads for Obama" Shirt? He's so political isn't he? (Via The Defamer)
Hipsters for Obama. (The Cobrasnake)
Stephen Harper jamming on the piano. (Via PM Stephen Harper's photostream)
Jake 'The Snake' Roberts is not looking good at all. Like AT ALL. He's like a fat Amy Winehouse. Get him some 8-balls, stat. (Via With Leather)
"Not surprisingly, Britain, France and America dressed like rich dicks."
- Street Carnage in a post all about Opening Ceremony fashions.
Oh, well played Lululemon. Well Played. Hayden Panettiere brand association. In other news, notice she comes fresh from the classy back wax place?
Speaking of the Lulus, during my coffee break in Yaletown, was it me, or did the whole district smell like manure today? Either the Lulu wearing dog walkers aren't using those designer dog poo bags, or the whole area is starting to stink. Kind of awesome. Either way, there was lots of smell face all over the place.
"They don't serve droids..." By Montygog. "...but they have karaoke every 2nd friday of the month."
If the O'Jays Love Train doesn't get you pumped after a long weekend you're dead to me.
*Nice to see NBC get cheeky with just 4 days until the Olympic Games. Very funny, an entire gallery of beach volleyball's female rear end entitled "Cracking the code." Genius.
*Legendary hijacker D.B. Cooper reportedly hid money in Vancouver bank. Sidebar: Do you remember how kind of creepy Unsolved Mysteries was? Check out 1988's story on D.B. Cooper. (Part 2). I think it was just Robert Stacks delivery. Or the theme song. Amazing.
*Hammer attacks? Really? In Vancouver no less? Anyways, a hammer terrorist sent six to the hospital Sunday night. "Police say he then went to a lounge, where he hit six people, knocking one of them unconscious. He then went to a nearby restaurant patio, where he hit two women and a man. In total, nine people were hit, and six had to be taken to hospital. But luckily most of the injuries were not serious." [CTV]
*Vancouver born actor Ryan Reynolds supports Barrack Obama. Not sure that helps. Wait, they're tied?
*Charlie Sheen makes $800,000 per episode of Two and a Half Men. I definetely just threw up a little in my mouth.
*This one's for Graham. "Forget the iPhone, The iTouch is good enough." HEH.
*Good news. Starbucks will be keeping those delicious breakfast sandwiches on the menu after all.
*Even better news. The benefits of working out in pill form.
*Best closed for business sign I've seen in ages. The references to The Battle of Tabouli are a nice touch.
*Yikes, is "Greyhound bus-style" actually in the lexicon now? Jesus.
*Johnny Griffin, a jazz great passes. Another ridiculously fabulous well written English obit is written. He solos big time in this video.
*I miss Paris at the end of July.
*A Honus Wagner baseball card sold for $1.62 million.
*Favorite Quote this week thus far: "'Hipster: The Dead End of Western Civilization' is the new cover story from Adbusters. If you're not familiar, Adbusters is a fun, angry, Starbucks-hating publication whose credo states that we've all been brainwashed by advertising and mass media into an orgy of overconsumption that lets the American Empire destroy the rest of the world to feed our fat faces. I buy it at Whole Foods." [Valleywag]
You know I've seen a lot of little dogs since moving close to Yaletown. But I'd really like to see these guys walking around in their flip flops at 7 in the morning or the lululemon girls have to pick up their dogs bundles of joy in these designer poop bags. And if you act now, they are yours to own for the low price of 12.9 Euros.
Turn the less attractive moments in the life of a dog owner into an original happening. These 16 dog poo bags are the most hygienic and environmentally friendly way to dispose of your doggies left overs.
I'm at a loss to pick which interwebs t-shirt I like best today. Is it 'Feelings Are Boring, kissing is Awesome'.
Or is it 'Machine Gun Tiger' I mean, really, who doesn't like their tigers to have machine guns.
Continue reading "Shirts of the day: Feelings and Castro and Tigers. Oh My!" »
Finally, a Canwest News article on Flip-Flops being our natural arch enemy:
Flip-flops, available in a rainbow of colours for as little as a toonie, are the biggest cause of foot problems in the summer, says Vancouver podiatrist Dr. Roy Matthews. "The first thing we say is, 'get out of those flip-flops,'" he said Tuesday. "Flip-flops are meant for going to the beach, going to a pool, going to a barbecue. They're not meant for going for a long walk . . . They're not meant for wearing all day at work. Get a supportive sandal with cork in the arch if you want to wear an open shoe during the summer."
All I can say is, Duh.
What exactly does it say about today, and me, that at 7:59, I can't decide between watching Return of the Jedi on Spike or The Bachelorette. Is it really that bad? Then again it could have been the 9 sets of flip flops I saw at Nester's at about 7:45 (I'd put that at about a 80% flip flop rate).
*I ended up watching, via the power of the internets, the pilot episode of Big Wave Daves, a 1993 sitcom.
*But seriously, Nike finally kind of sort of made the Marty McFlys.
*A humiliated Sam Sullivan has turned to prayers and Greek Stoicism to get over his loss. [Vancouver Sun]
*Pringles, it would seem, aren't really potato chips.
*Pretty sure that gas prices or no, the idea of a "staycation" is ridiculous and lame.
*NBC has bought the Weather Channel. Gawker reports, "Imagine the cross-promotional possibilities that will emerge as global warming engulfs both coasts, and their advertiser-coveted demographics, in slow but steady ruin!"
*TV spots for the Smirnoff Cocktail product have been flowing like the Fraser. These are properly mixed cocktails. These are drinks that take the guesswork and FUN out of drinking them. Bravo. [The Spirit World]
*50 Things That are being affected/blamed on rising oil prices. Bacon could be getting more expensive, kind of all you need to know. [Wall Street Journal]
*The theme song from You Only Live Twice is explored, which is nice.
*Matthew McConaughey brings sexy time to beef with a new radio spot for the beef association.
Does Kanye West do the impossible? Simultaneously putting nail in coffin of viral video and the marking the high water mark for trendy vodka? Can you be over something like 'vodka'? Clearly.
Will this news make Steve Jobs lose his freaking mind? Lets see. When asked BlackBerry or iPhone Nick Jonas of the Jonas Brothers replied in the new issue of Vanity Fair, “BlackBerry. I had the iPhone for a little while, but I’m more of a businessman; I wanted to have a phone where I could really actually do things.”
What a burn. If you've lost the Jonas Brothers, haven't you lost like everyone under 20 or something? Seriously, did you see Camp Rock? Um, i mean...
For me, the blackberry is my least favorite thing about my job and I have an LG flip phone circa 2002 with the entire alphabet. Its kind of the best phone ever. I'm so far behind I think I'm first. Take further evidence of the fact that I am still rocking an iPod Mini circa 2005. But who needs all this stuff on their phones? Seriously, I saw a cashier at Nestors last night with a Blackberry. For real? What's that about? If you don't check your email during your cashier shift what the heck is going to go down? Is he solving Mid-East peace in spare time? Get real. I'd say the same thing about getting an iPhone.
I mean its not like those people who insist on carrying around their iPhone and Blackberry at the same time to the same meeting. Seriously, that's just a poke in the eye to me, jerk faces. it really is. I'm glad Mr. Jonas took a stand against the iPhone. Is this a tipping point? Discuss.
*That there is a song called 'The Village Green Preservation Society" (via Smodcast)
*That you can make anything into bacon. Had octopus bacon at C Restaurant last Saturday. It was amazing wrapped around scallops that were super sized. Also, they have the best sourdough bread I've tasted, like ever.
*That Shakespeare can be twice as hilarious with crotch shots. Doubly so with fart jokes. Seriously, two crotch shots in this year's Bard on the Beach rendition of Twelfth Night. It was damned good. Particularly the guy who reminded me of Buster from Arrested Development. Trust me.
*That Stephen Spielberg is making video games with EA. Boom Blox.
*That at Benziger wines they have the following positions listed as part of their wine growing team: Executive Winemaker, Director of Winemaking, V.P. of Winegrowing and Director of Gardens. Also, their 2006 Sauvignon Blanc is decent on a patio night at Glowbal.
*That Lego has a secret vault which contains a wrapped version of every set they have ever created. [Gizmodo]
*That X-Files regular Cigarette Smoking Man (William B. Davis) recently starred in an episode of NBC's Fear Itself playing priest. It was not filmed in Vancouver. It was filmed in Edmonton.
*That the Mad Men season one dvd package is a rad zippo lighter shape. I actually knew this before, but not it is sitting on my shelf looking amazing.
So Steve Jobs unleashed the news that the new iPhone will be out, even in the far outpost of Canada by July 11 at Rogers. It's faster and cheaper, which kind of underscores the achillies heal of Apple (hyped overprice and nearly immediate 2nd generations).
PS: What was with Steve Jobs today? He looked kind of awful. Nervous? Although Best Week Ever gave me a chuckle: "Steve Jobs strapped on his moose-knuckliest jeans to announce that all of the people who already own an iPhone are actually secret a$$holes." More insight on this at Gawker.
My morning started with watching this creepy Tom Cruise scientology video and it ends with news he tried to pick up Jennifer Garner years ago with a super weird line: "Do you know what freedom is?" You go Jen G. That was grossness. Or as The Hater describes the whole mess: "Scientology is kind of like Fox News Channel: rambling, intense, nonsensical, graphics-happy, often scored to bombastic music, prone to overuse of the word "freedom" (as in "The Freedom Medal Of Valor"), and unintentionally hilarious." [Seriously, just watch the top five creepy bits and refrain from watching either of the two links Hater tried to direct you to, a video of Jordy's Ohh La Baby.]
Pretty sure that buying Olive and Rosemary bread, when you think you are buying the super delicious Olive Oil and Rosemary mini loaf counts as a low light. I'm sure you don't care.
Emily Gould (she formerly of Gawker) sums up nicely the Vanity Fair love in piece this month about Indiana Jones over at Jewcy. Note: Count her as the third Gawker alumni that I've crushed on after Ana Marie Cox and Jessica Coen and quite possibly a 4th on Jezebel already. And doubly awesome, how great is Jewcy's masthead: A Magazine and Community for new Jews and other Riffraff. Love it. Count me in.
Mitt Romney won the Michigan Primary tonight? Oh dear lord. And then Hilary beat, er, um, "uncommitted" (awesome and indifferent) and you wonder how America rules the world don't you. Jim Treacher: ""These primaries are like the Special Olympics: Everybody gets a ribbon!" [Detroit News]
This is fairly incredible look at what three guys, a digital camera and four days can do. It's like Saving Private Ryan indie style. Very cool.
Here's a disturbing yet funny look at the downfall of HD-DVD featuring Hitler.
I'm thinking I just might go against the conventional wisdom of the collective on this one. Do I really need my laptop to be portable into a vanilla envelope? The Macbook Air. Oh, and crap it's goddamned green too. Damn you Jobs, you bastard. [Gizmodo]
Update: This is what smug looks like in a picture. [Ed: Correction. This might technically be shit eating actually? Standby. ]
Update 2: And complete with 1st generation fatal flaws.
Update 3: $1799 in the US. $1899 in Canada. Clearly Steve Jobs hates Canada.
Update 4: Fine. I want one. Hate you Apple.
Kind of don't even care if this is a fake trailer. JJ Abrams + Star Trek is fun.
The Onion's The Hater sums up the Golden Globes trimmed down craptacular NBC 'special', "But, really, the winners didn't matter. What did matter, then? Nothing. Honestly, nothing, because the show was so stripped down it was essentially a mirror held up to meaninglessness."
Drunk History vol. 1 featuring Michael Cera. Do I need to say more?
Mystery Science Theatre 3000 part deux.
Dogs and Cats living together: Let me get this straight Naomi Campbell and Hugo Chavez are dating? Is this the world trying to balance out the crazy of Britney?
Um, is a mashup of There Will Be Blood and the Milkshake song really necessary? Still want to see that movie.
Tim Blair does it again with this one line: "... In an attempt to break the world irony record, an apparent suicide bomber targets Hamas."
The idea of a personal annual report intrigues me. A lot. Nicholas Felton actually does them, and they are super awesome and design-y good. Yum. Mostly this just makes me wish we could do over 2007. Hate you ever moving forward time continuum. (Via Kottke)
Last weekend I watched the entire informercial for the Magic Bullet Countertop Magician. It was too hard to turn away. This is what happens when you don't change channels while watching Sunday morning news shows. This week it was the one for US Gold. Believe you me, knowing about "Nuclear threats from Iran & Korea" totally makes we want to buy gold. Duh.
This is good news. Jeffrey Wells on Cloverfield: "This movie is REM madness. It is Guillermo del Toro on a tab of brown acid with a little crack thrown in."
Hoping to convince her to post a full fledge rant about Atonement I give you not-very-often-contributing editor Josee's reaction via text to the news of it winning the Best Drama Golden Globe: "Serious? Son of a bitch."
Ana Marie Cox's Twitter from the campaign trail is worth the read for gems like, "There was a McCain event today at Andiamos Celebrity Showroom: "Vegas-style dinner theater with a taste of Detroit."
Certainly readiing this sentence on all of the books about George W. Bush by James Wolcott in the latest Vanity Fair made me crack up: "One exception in the guilt department is John Bolton's Yosemite Sam memoir of his stint as United States representive to the United Nation, Surrender is Not an Option - reading it is like being lectured by a ham sandwich for 450-plus pages."
Which leads us to this amazing part of the terrible movie Hot Rod where a giant Taco fights a giant grilled cheese sandwich. Natch.
Kind of an amazing Axe ad.
This clip of David Lynch on the iPhone just makes me want to watch the new Twin Peaks box set that much more, and not on my iPhone or iTouch or whatever. Not going to lie, i may still be rocking the iPod Mini circa 2004 so I know what Lynch is talking about.
A few last delightful treats before 2007 closes.
*If the description of Kevin Skinners work Invincible, "an army of Berts, ideal soldiers for the motherland, looking ahead, undaunted, unstoppable, and slightly grumpy" isn't enough, I can't help you.
*I guess that can only be followed by all this Chairman Meow propaganda.
*The 1962 Sears catalog. Full of extra awesome.
*The fact that there is a magazine called Garden & Gun, proves many things, mostly just how awesome America can be sometimes. For reals. Ridic, non?
*The fact that Arrested Development seasons 2 & 3 were only $15 each this weekend at HMV. Don't ask me how I didn't have these before now.
*Um, do you think that Paris Hilton and Kevin Federline hanging out in Vegas for New Years will bring the universe down upon itself or anything? Just curious.
Graham reminded me of one of the best parts of Christmas this morning.Lou Monte's 1967 classic 'Dominic The Italian Christmas Donkey'. The video isn't all that impressive, especially when this website with scrolling lyrics and the most amazing animated GIFs ever is around.
This could be the first of many holiday themed posts, that as the days count down to December 25th will get increasingly bah and humbugged. Until then here's 10 really good things:
1. Discovery Channel is even better out of context and on You Tube. Here's a man named Bear pulling a 'Han Solo Hoth Special' on a camel. Lovely.
2. The Jones Soda 2007 Holiday pack sickens me to know end. Christmas ham? Honest to god! And yet I can't stop thinking about what it might taste like.
3. I'm tempted by this $600 "Liz Lemon Lunch" photo like you wouldn't believe.
4. Saul Bass 'Henri's walk to Paris' from 1962 (Via Bobby Sattler) Bonus: I'll see you that and raise you some super fun Matchbox labels!
5. Definition of 'Ridic': 2000+ rambling words by Sean Penn on why Dennis Kucinich should be President. Spicoli, you're so funny.
6. Screw blog writing or ad writing or film/tv writing, I should write a Magna Carta.
7. Shameless Scarlett Johannson video.
8. If someone could get me the United Artists 90th century collection for Christmas that would be pretty awesome. Or if I could get something from the JC Penny 1977 catalogue like an "all purpose jumpsuit", that would be fine too.
9. I think it is sad that the Robin's Nest looks like this now Just as sad as how I can never find Magnum season 2 on DVD anywhere when I wants it.
10. Do you watch It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia? You should.
Tonight's theme as blogging begins to return to normal, is the writer's strike. I mean, during this difficult time, as original scripted television programming comes to a halt, can we not have shows like this I ask you? Fox should be all over this angle quite frankly. Discuss.
I mean, clearly, NBC is totally loving the writer's strike. Clash of the Choirs? Is this for real?
Let's start today off with a special cocktail of typography and Trainspotting. Yum. (via Oli)
This Orangina ad inspired me to post. I hear that my lack of posting has annoyed many of you. My apologies. Posting will return shortly. But seriously, this spot is both creepy and amazing and worth watching.
Yes that is William Shatner pimping the Commodore Vic 20 "The Wonder Computer"of the 1980s". This happens when you don't blog for 7 days. Swear to god. But seriously I found this for you today, a Shatner Twitter blog. Cue the highlights:
"Movie idea. "Being William Shatner": I fall down a hole into my own brainworld inhabited by Me's of every age since birth. We all make out." - 5 days ago from web
"Nimoy has only JUST discovered SMS. He won't stop texting me." - 01:56 PM April 22, 2007 from web
"Getting Trek-style automatic sliding doors installed throughout the house, except the bathroom. Why? Because I can. *whheshhhh!*" 12:11 PM April 07, 2007 from web.
God bless you Shatner. You are the bomb. Even if this Shatner Video disturbs me sort of. Thanks.
I am not high maintenance, but given a little effort, I can look reasonably well put-together and I'm happy with that. Or I was, until last night when I attended the opening of the Sixty Boutique on Robson. I have always coveted Miss Sixty jeans, but given that jean shopping can so often be depressing, I have pretty much steered clear. But, seeing the fun denim, dresses and shoes available, all of a sudden, I wanted to be a rock star fashionista. Case in point, the following shoes:
I would marry those shoes if such a thing were legal. Never mind that if I had brought my credit card with me there was a very good chance that I would have walked out with thousands of dollars of merchandise. Which brings me round to the drinks... Belvedere vodka was one of the sponsors, and the martinis being poured were light, delicious and appropriately accessorized with cranberries. And as I've discovered the hard way, my willingness to spend oodles of money is directly proportionate to the amount of alcohol consumed.
The event had the requisite tiny models in cute dresses, semi-celebrities and great music. The only let down was the bathroom, which I hear was in the back alley and required a GPS system to be found. But I'm willing to overlook that given that I met my soulmate (see above photo).
Finally, I would like to say to the DJ that despite his protestations, he did in fact steal my friend's drink. I distinctly remember looking down at her beverage wondering how she got a lime in her drink when I didn't have one, and the next thing I know the DJ is slamming it back (well, taking a delicate sip). I don't care how cute you are, you've still got girl germs now.
Last night Elizabeth Hurley and her gals were at the Vancouver Art Gallery to raise awareness for breast cancer. Wearing a "tight-fitting layered pink dress" Hurley and her breasts wowed crowds and told them to donate money. This also involved turning the Art Gallery pink apparently - joining the Empire State building and the Sydney Opera house. [Canadian Press]
PS: And kudos for Metro Vancouver for trying to use Ms. Hurley's breasts to sell papers.
I think now is as good a time as any to post a Colt 45 commercial starring Billy Dee Williams. I only found this because I was on the American Mustache Institute website.
I think today needs musical numbers. It's been a long week. Friday's first video from the Buffy musical, "I'll Never Tell." Please tell me that this will someday play interactively on a big screen here in Vancouver?
And if you're going to have an great musical number, can Woody Allen + Ed Norton doing "My Baby Just Cares For Me" be a bad idea?
And things are better in threes. Frank Sinatra and Bing Crosby in High Society singing "Did you ever?" Alternately you could check out "Who Wants to be a Millionaire."
I'm a little slow on the uptake, but is there really a men's magazine called Che? Love it. And the ad is ridiculously over the top.
It was hard to keep up to be honest. First our cab driver, the first Vancouver cab driver I've ever had who was rocking some seriously awesome tunes took us to Main & 25th instead of 2560 Main. A. We weren't paying attention. B.The pre-party smug cocktails and appies at Gotham prolly impacted our ability to function. C. The music made it impossible to care. D. PS: It was our fault, not his.
Oh, right the Hot Box Bare Accessories Fashion Show. The enchanting candy of an evening of "male and female models baring it all, wearing only body paint and accessories" and "complimentary bar, DJ, and R-rated action" kind of had the trio of us at hello. The reality was, I don't think I even had the clothes to pull off attending this kind of thing. I tried to buy myself some Chuck Taylor's but then I was like, "you look ridiculous, like a hipster douchebag.Just stop."
So what did it all mean? It meant that in a space smaller than my apartment, you had the rubbing of elbows with all sorts of characters, even the models. I'm not saying this was the Cantina from Star Wars or anything, it was just a well balanced crowd. It could have been the walk from 25th and Main, but it was hot in there. At least you could step out on mainstreet and watch the models dancing on the stage outside, that was pretty rad. And these girls we're working these bags like their life depended on it. The supplies of Corona weren't plentiful enough to cool down but (I think) they had Hester Creek boxed wine, which is kind of ironic and sweet and served in plastic shot glasses - er, wine glasses.
Between learning all about Matt & Nat and their positivity message and their handbags, to the amazing selection of duct tape wallets with amazing skulls on them, to the Goorin Brother's hats (hat's are back? that's cool.) it was enough to just wonder what the heck was going down. Particularly the burlesque models doing their body paint thing and girating uncomforatably, the wide range of people in attendence. (Check out pictures from the evening at Flickr courtesy Urban Mixer)
Let me just say for the record, that serving drinks to people in a small funky shop like this seems to inspire "drunk shopping", a sport that never really caught on for men or the Olympics yet, but seems to be extreme sport for the ladies. I think our trip to check out the fashion show ended up with our team buying: 1 gray handbag, 1 green belt, 1 amazing Goorin Bros. hat, 1 pair sunglasses, 1 free Mat and Nat change purse in "mustard" (which along with the gray was discussed about in the context of fall color amazingness) and 1 secret birthday gift. Hey weren't we supposed to be covering this party? Bah! I guess that was half the fun. Had the "Man-Bling" section been stocked full of the same kind of sparkly bits that captured the girl's eyes, I might have tried this out too, but given the Chuck Taylor fiasco, I wasn't all that keen on trying to pull off leather wristbands.
And after that, I offer a simple 5 word review for Hot Box: Funkn' Sassy Accessory Magic Emporium
PS: We wore our sunglasses for the rest of the night, but that is a story for another time.
Here is a nice little look at some recent advertising goodishness. I know what you're thinking. "Post something about Vancouver, ahole". Well, when I had moments yesterday where I could have felt like the man in this unfortunate Rock Paper Scissors video and often feel like I have to deal with my own 'send to Mordor' bunker. The question is, do you like your ads directed by famous directors? Featuring insane newly named snackfoods, or in massive 40-story hotel wrappings? Or do you even care? If my comments we're back working I'm sure you'd tell me.
1. I don't really care what Film Drunk says, I really like these AT&T spots directed by Wes Anderson. Okay, yes they are smug and self satisfying. And?
2. I can't even stand football, but since these are directed by Michael Mann and feature music from his Last of the Mohicans which is a rad movie, i will grant you this Nike Football ad is kind of okay.
3. Or you can check out P. Diddy's spot for his new "Unforgettable" fragrance that Best Week Ever describes as "I mean, what could be more unforgettable than being held against a wall in some kind of backstage maintenance hallway and joylessly having your body groped by some champagne-drunken rap guy?"
4. I couldn't find the real spot for this that was playing during the Emmy's last night. But the idea of the Oreo Cakester is completely insane. I mean sure they can't seem to get Iraq 100% right, but for the love of all that is holy they have soft cake Oreos. Amazing. And the fact that they ask you to look for them in the Oreo Aisle is genius. Pure genius.
5. Did Jim Beam really wrap the Rio Hotel in Las Vegas? Yes, Yes they did.
Bonus: Yes, The New iPod Nano ad officially marks the end of Feist being not quite as cool as she was a few months ago.
1. Vancouver Police. Totally loved the left turn from Georgia onto Seymour (No Left Turns 7am – 6pm) at 8:17 this morning.
Bonus: parking in no parking zone near Granville Skytrain station.
Double Bonus: please tell me they were roughing up someone down there. Awesome!
2. Guy in amazing brown suit. Bold choice sir.
3. That I actually contemplated needing a jacket for the first time in 10 months. So awesome.
Buying cell phones really sucks. The options between Telus and Rogers is hilariously funny. And it caused our dear friend Anthony to be on this site looking at buying this bit of amazing technology by Sony Ericsson, the cell phone watch!
Finally! This gem finally realizes the wonderfully amazing world of Knight Rider. And only $249.99! As Anthony correctly points out, "God, what a glorious world!!" Steve Jobs can release all the iPod updates he wants in the world, but he doesn't have the iphone watch! Try that tough guy!
I'm not sure which part of this post over at Beyond Robson I like more. Is it the smug "I've had the privilege of seeing the Taj Mahal in India?" Is it the reaction to the new Holt Renfrew store, "My mind filled with fantasies of revolutionaries in khaki fatigues and Che Guevera t-shirts bursting in, guns drawn, and shouting rhetoric like, 'This eleven-pocket harvest wheat riding coat will feed a peasant family for a year!'" Or could it be the return to "Winners, where I recovered, surrounded by comforts of the linoleum tile, fluorescent lights and slightly flawed jeans."
Could probably be all three. Holts+Taj Mahal+Che+Winners=I'm so there! Screw the workers. Love it.
It's a good thing that the Richmond Ikea which is closed because of a strike starting today, isn't in Vancouver. Sam Sullivan would be really in the hot seat if the voters couldn't get themselves some furniture. Screw it, blame him for it anyway.
Nice to see CNBC still rocking the business world with sound advice. It's sweet of Erin Burnett to sing the praises of China's poisonous food and toys made of lead which are keeping prices down in America! (Via The Consumerist)
*Really enjoying Big Brother 8. I keep going back and forth on Evil Dick. But last night I really enjoyed that every time he walked into a scene he had his own guitar solo theme song. In this clip, he and Dustin argue about the big questions, like if Danielle is a skank or not.
*Derek K. Miller asks, why isn't the Clearview font we mention a few days ago, free? So cute, people wanting free things for the greater good. Adorable.
*Things Amelle Gillette learned from the Hills. Like, "Lauren Conrad fluctuates between three emotional states: "Unwritten" by Natasha Beddingfield (elation, interspersed with drunkenness), "Big Girls Don't Cry" by Fergie (introspection, looking out from a balcony), and a bland cover of "Umbrella" (OMG my friendship with Heidi is so dead)."
*This is just awesome. Tonight, at everyone's favorite bar Steamworks, you can go for Green drinks! "A monthly gathering of anyone interested in 'green'. Green Drinkers are from all ages, backgrounds and groups - non-profit organizations, academia, government, small business, big business, self-employed, volunteers, students, concerned citizens...and everything in between." Steamworks + environmentalists = sounds like complete hell.
*Here's another clip. Check out Lisa Lampanelli at the Comedy Central Roast of Flavor Flav.
Pretty sure this is why you can't take condos in Vancouver seriously. Well this week it is Dolce (535 Smithe). I finally couldn't take looking at their fancy new branding around the site. I know Condohype dished this out when the ads started months ago - and sweetly dishes on all things crap-condo-tastic. Anyway, Dolce could be the trying to be seductive but not really sticking the landing with the "Live. Active. Live High. Live Robson. Live Sweet. Live Cultural. Live." concept. Which is mostly amusing because the address isn't technically on Robson. I'm being picky, but i guess "Live Smithe" just wasn't cutting it.
Or maybe it is the idea that after the 'Live, Live, Live' line you get the bland looking couple having coffee with his red scooter (fine Vespa. Whatever) parked outside. Hell, drive or walk past the construction site and you can see this dirtbag on his scooter all over the place. Really? I mean, if the residence size starting at 507 sq. ft. starts aat $389,900, you'd think smarty pants owner could afford a real car! Besides, you live downtown, what the hell do you need a scooter for?
The following things just might not be really working for me right now:
1. I just saw a random promo commercial for the Charlie Sheen show, Two and a Half Men. Nothing weird per se, but the realization that this is going into syndication is kind of like a sign of the apocolypse, no?
2. Fox's new series K-Ville. It's not that I don't think a show set (and actually shot) in New Orleans isn't cool, but the commercials are, well, how do I say this, completely ridiculous (and much different from the trailer too. Well, just less fromagey).
3. Jurassic Park IV. It took them four movies to come to, "You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have dinosaurs with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads! Now evidently my cycloptic colleague informs me that that cannot be done. Ah, would you remind me what I pay you people for, honestly? Throw me a bone here! What do we have? "
4. I am totally into The Hills season three, but is this place Les Deux for real. Seriously, it looks like it is the Mos Eisley for Hollywood douche. PS: Spencer, you're gross.
5. I think it is sad. Sad like killing fluffy bunnies sad, that many people I might happen to work with during long days at the sweat shop might often feel as powerless as these ninjas are against the might trio of beers. But the spot rules. As does Harp. (Via the always fun Agency Tart)
Of course, any Monday starting with a 1984 clip of Keanu Reeves interviewng a teddy bear is going to be the best day ever. Okay that overtates things doesn't it. But here are some bits to get you going:
*I posted this clip of Minnesota State Fair on a Stick last year. And quite frankly it is still full of just as much wonderment and amazingness as it was last year.
*in honor of the film Superbad starting this week, you gots to have a little Panama to get things started.
*In honor of The Hills season 3 starting tonight (and of the Season 2 I may have just bought), this is the most ridiculous show I've seen. "Britain's Youngest Brides" My jaw is on the floor. And that kind of hurts.
*We're over Megan Fox, for now, and have moved on to Kat Von D.
*What in the heck happened to Parker Posey. Wait, what the hell happened to the creator of Gilmore Girls. This is a joke right?
*Radar brings us a fairly amusing "100 Worst Places to Die".
*The New York Times seem to be trolling for hits on their blog with the Freakonomics post "If You Were a Terrorist, How Would you Attack?" And no, I'm not judging. This is wicked blogging.
*Since last week was all about Helvetica, it's nice to see a major article in the New York Times Magazine feature the birth of the new font for the US Highway system, Clearview.
*Kind of really looking forward to reading "Cool it: The Skeptical Environmentalist's Guide to Global Warming."
*What is it with Andersons and wacky and directing? Or in this case Andersson. A selection of Swedish commercials by Roy Andersson.
*Documentaries rule. Have you heard about: Who Is Harry Nilsson? How about The King of Kong? And yes, In the Shadow of the Moon looks good.
*I took a certain amount of glee that Rush Hour 3 only took in $50.2 million this weekend. Not that this isn't a lot of money, in fact it's too much, this is like the Two and a Half Men of movies. Lots of reviews amused me, particularly this line in The Star, "Rush Hour 3 is a blockbuster sequel filmed with the enthusiasm of jury duty and as barren of novelty as a burned-out souvenir stand."
*Joe Cocker and John Belushi Feeling Allright.
*Last week James Leong of Vancouver won the 2007 Scrabble Player's Championship. At least we can win something in this city. I'm looking at you Canucks.
*Last but not least. How amazing is Creed on The Office? His blog is dope (remember he has a blog called Creed Thoughts). Check this, "The other day, I overheard some dudes at work – the fatso and the fruit – and they were talking about some internet video of water buffaloes fighting lions. I don’t know about you, but that’s the kind of thing I can build a whole night around. I stopped at the supermarket on the way home and picked up some things to get me in the mood: Buffalo jerky, buffalo wings, Frosted Flakes, some cupcakes, and a bottle of white wine. (Side note: I couldn’t find any lion-related items at the store, so I settled for the Flakes because of the Tiger. It was the best I could do.) When I got home, I was really jazzed for a good old-fashioned jungle fight. " (More Creed with Top 10 Creed Moments)
-This is apparently old, but I've somehow managed to miss this hilarious Leroy Jenkins clip. You have to invest a few minutes in this, but the payoff is huge, and makes you want to mock these video game playing dorks for the rest of the day. Nerds are so adorable.
-Best Week Ever asked the "big" question. "Why do the British get away with this brilliance, and all we’ve got to show is Two and a Half Men?"
-Really? A Criterion Armageddon? Seriously? What is going on Criterion? I guess maybe it is because J.J. Abrams wrote it? Really? Actually more shocking waas that he wrote 1997's classic Gone Fishin'. Damn you Youtube for failing to come up with any relevant clips for this movie. Damn you. Just remember this classic line: Gus Green: This is gonna be a 10! Joe Waters: Ten plus! Joe Waters, Gus Green: Borderline 'leven!
-Still haven't seen The Simpsons Movie. But I did see the episode where they go to China this weekend. The dragons are so awesome. Seriously freaky cool. And this is pretty awesome, President Schwarzenegger. Somehow this made me think of this crazy Jet Li movie Fong Sai Yuk where they have a whole fight on top of people. It's ridiculous and amazing.
-Crap. The real transformers. God help us all. Well, I mean it's not this, although that is hilarious.
-Wonkette reports on the brief Bush presidency as VP Dick Cheney went under the knife this weekend. "While Cheney was under the knife, George W. Bush enjoyed two hours of being “in charge.” White House spokesman Tony Snow said Bush sat in Cheney’s chair, pretended to talk to “big important people” and “the King of China” on the telephone, appointed his dogs to the Supreme Court, and had “secret service agents” accompany him to lunch at an Applebee’s in suburban Maryland, where he enjoyed a “presidential burger” with curly fries and then had some ice cream."
I know I haven't seen the Michael Bay movie version, but I was listening to a podcast by Chris and Jimmy this morning, and they made a really great point about how ridiculous this scene was in the original movie. I mean, why does it feature the song "The Touch" by Stan Bush. Fight scene + cheesy ballad = pretty awesome? I'm not convinced. Well, this probably helps. Holy!Roc
*Oh brother. Blow by blow (pardon the pun) coverage of Lindsay Lohan's morning DUI arrest over at Perez. Car chase, check. Busted for DUI, check. Cocaine in pocket, check. Shaping up to be a nice little Tuesday at this rate. Gawker calls this TMZ's 9/11. Jezebel offers advice on this wacky contraption called a limousine.
*And in Vancouver, we only have a strike to amuse us. Tips on surviving this catastrophe here.
*My head damn near exploded on the news of a Huey Lewis tribute album. Is this really happening?
*Awwwww....When Vancouver bloggers get their feelings hurt from the nasty (polite) commentators.
*I'm obsessed with House. More Season 4 spoilers here.
*This is still a hilarious video.
*Marvel at the amazing 10 reasons why Michael Bay sucks (or is over the top cheese-mazing. I think I just made up a new word. As Victoria Beckham would say, "That's so Major.")
Does it really have to be this hot? Especially to blog. My bad. It's not like I'm Jessica Cutler or anything, 'cause I didn't say this, "I'm just not that into you. Don't wait up." It just looks like it. It's summer, shouldn't you all be outside or something?
*Somebody asked me yesterday if I'd watched every video on Youtube. The answer is clearly no, but when you end up watching things like Major League 2 clips, dubbed in Italian no less, you probably have some sort of problem. Thanks Deadspin.
*Speaking of Youtube, the above trailer for You Only Live Twice, was amazing. Here's some more stuff about Bond advertising from Adfreak.
*Oh, great. "A new top-level intelligence assessment concludes that the al-Qaida terrorist network has rebounded and is at its greatest strength since the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks." Of course, Gawker notes, "Which means what, they've got access to box cutters again? This just keeps getting better."
*Eco-hooch. Nice to see that even Vodka is getting in on the green thing. Copyranter explains the "pathetic cause exploiters".
*This could be the best online store in the universe or something. Best name: Baron Von Fancy. And can you dig on this shirt called "Baby Wolf Pocket Tee". Puh-leeze!
*I'm going to have to rethink a lot of things if Lindsay Lohan really is reading Machiavelli's The Prince.
*Megan Fox is still completely insane. More, please.
*Big Brother 8 is the only seperating this week from totally being lame. Mostly because things like this Nick dude's crazy gay strategy in the game.
*Jezebel found this insane product, Topless Sandals. That is all.
*James Lileks asked, "I’m confounded by the fact that no one in America has invented Fried Chicken Pizza. It would seem to be a rather obvious twist on a classic." And thankfully the internet answered.
*Found this new blog called Dear Life which is full of amazingness like this, "Dear "Big Love" Series on HBO, You are an amazing show and I have spent the last three days watching countless hours of you and getting sucked in. Nevertheless, I'm starting to get slightly scared that you are brainwashing me. I've caught myself having thoughts that polygamy could be fun. Like it actually might be a good time sharing one ween among several women. Or that becoming a Mormon would be something exciting I could do. There is something very wrong with this picture."
*Best. Headline. Ever. "Hero Cabbie: I kicked burning terrorist so hard in balls that I tore a tendon."
*This Just in remarked, "there's nothing laughable about child abuse - but the pirates, gold, Jesus Christ, and how they exercise their love for the Lord? Priceless."
*This is too easy. Drinking Fiji water is retarded. I don't care how cool the square bottle is.
*If you didn't get enough Earth-ness this weekend, you could always try reading Alan Weisman's "The World Without Us" which sounds pretty wicked. "Days after our disappearance, pumps keeping Manhattan's subways dry would fail, tunnels would flood, soil under streets would sluice away and the foundations of towering skyscrapers built to last for centuries would start to crumble. "
*I meant to post this like forever ago, but just dug up the link now. I think a building called Jackson is pretty cool. Smug too.
*Just because, Vin Scully calls Sandy Koufax's perfect game in 1965. (via Bob Ryan)
Oh. My. God. This is so likeThe Sun's Malcolm Parry except without all the creepiness of signature pictures taken from chairs! Eat your heart out Parry! But seriously when we opened our inbox this morning, there were gems of amazingness that we needed to share from our new snapshot correspondent. Apparently there was some sort of Music BC gathering at Ceilli's last night. And from the photos this was liike Mos Eisley - a wretched hive of scum and villainy. Above you can witness what surely can only be described in the wild as "the Calgary power couple". Cowboy hat, check. Trophy wife with ample side boob, check. Amazing matching leather wristbands, check. Completely amazing, check!
I think the world may have collapsed upon itself here, I bet this beats anything over at Gawker's Blue States Lose today. This guy has it all: cool hair, contact lense, greatest little soul patches ever, and is his other eye sewn shut, 'cause that would totally rule. My goodness this rules. Must look away, but totally can't.
If you have any pictures from events, nights out, or whatever, send them our way so we can share them with the rest of the world. Send them to vancouverite@thevancouverite.com
I still don't understand the tourist fascination with the steam clock in Gastown. Quite frankly the 12:00 show almost made me wish I didn't go have total deliciousness at the Water St. Cafe. Go buy your small thing of maple syrup and move along. It's not that cool, we have more options on power now people. It would be cool if it was powered by the nukes. Oh right, the steam is just for show. Sigh.
For the love of god. It's 8:06 AM, and I've already seen at least three people in flip flops. And by people I mean men, and yes, if you are reading this thing from the office I "work" at, you know that I'm watching you flip flop wearing criminals. Stupid hot weather.
Update: Make that 4. And they were grosser sandle style. I think I'm going to be sick.
Update: 5? Are you kidding me. This is just sick. We are all doomed.
Update: Jesus it's a freaking epidemic. All I can hear are the flip flops.
The power of the interweb is strong today (something that can't be said for the news around Vancouver). Why's this you ask? Um, with in a few minutes of searching I found the following amazing quotes:
-"There's bad, there's awful and there's horrible, and then somewhere beyond that, in its own Kingdom of Lousy -- where all the milk curdles and the jokes aren't funny -- is "License to Wed," the latest ghastly exercise starring Robin Williams." - San Francisco Chronicle (via I Watch Stuff)
-"Just when you think 80s nostalgia has been done to death, someone uses Super Mario Brothers to evoke existentialism in a way that makes the works of Sartre and Camus look like frickin’ Bubble Bobble." (Best Week Ever)
-"What would look like a rough night on some people is here made too look glorious and beautiful by the one and only Patrick Swayze. This guy’s about one reality hosting gig away from shirtless burger munching." (Also Best Week Ever)
I didn't post a single thing about the iPhone this weekend because I was waiting for the first iPhone Smash and the also awesome iPhone dissection. More amusing is the response video. Whatever hippy this was way cooler than the multitude of unboxing iPhone videos. And while I'm at it, why does Apple treat us like 2nd class citizens up here? No TV downloads. No iPhone. What gives Steve Jobs?
This reminds to post this amazing 1989 cell phone ad - now those are phones people!
I'm sorry, but is this for real? Clearly no. This is a great way to kick off the week, and clearly I need to do more Lululemon postings leading up to the stock launch.
Quite frankly I was a little shocked that I could find members of a marketing group unfamiliar with the 'Dramatic chipmunk'. This was so last week. Whatever. But if they didn't know, perhaps it needs to be further shared. Seriously what was once billed as the best 5 second video EVER now has remixes - say the Kill Bill Remix or the 'curses' remix - and even the 'undramatic Chipmunk which College Humor describes as, "This is like watching a video of Santa Cluas being born..." And since my "meat is neat" t-shirt was such a hit today, you're right the Dramatic Chipmunk shirt might be on order now too.
And what else can I share while I try to get back to posting...
1. If I said a Youtube clip was here with the key words tractor fight is that something you might be interested in?
2. I was waiting for a good parody of Microsoft Surface. bwhahahahahaaha.
3. This could probably make my friend Anthony vomit. a creepy seafood buffet video.
4. Damn it if I need to watch Arrested Development again after this description "He’s like Jesus, Moses, Abe Lincoln and Bo Jackson combined" - it's a tribute to GOB. Bonus: Chicken Dance Collection.
5. Am I the last one to discover the ridiculously tatooed Megan Fox? I'm just saying that she may be good thing.
6. Walshes girlfriend on the new season of Entourage is Michelle Lombardo. In case you were still thinking about it.
7. New Noah Bambauch film - Margo at the Wedding.
8. Pictures from Wes Anderson's Darjeerling Limited. Hurry please Mr. Anderson.
9. Thank the maker!
10. Watched old episodes of Northern Exposure this weekend. Janine Turner rocked the mom jeans something fierce.
*I really think the networks need to make this show. Notle, Busey, Kristofferson in NBK 24/7 a reality show. Come on, it's unbelievable, certainly better than most other shows. So good. Even better the guys who made it call their company Wicked Awesome Films.
*More extras from Knocked Up, "Jay and Seth vs. The Apocalypse".
*Trailers: Start with Coen Brothers No Country for Old Men. Then watch 3:10 to Yuma for some western yum yums. Then for kicks I'd say hit the There Will Be Blood trailer. And then just soak up how insanely smug this Pixar trailer for Wall-E is.
*Roger Clemens in 2057 is pretty funny stuff. If you like baseball.
*God totally missed the boat on this one. Panda dogs. Pretty amazing non?
*This is the most amazing 'ad' for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles toys.
*Top 10 Unintentionally funny TV intros. This sums up the fun when you click, "It's Genius. This is my number one all time dream job if time and space were not an issue, a writer for Charles In Charge."
*10 Best Moments from 30 Rock.
*Geek out on this. The Star Wars galaxy. Pretty much everything awesome happened in the same area. Hoth. Endor. Dagobah. "Yub nub."
*Listening to: Graham shot me some hot grooves. St. Vincent was playing this morning. I think a trip to the Lamplighter July 30th would be a good call.
*Hillary Clinton picked her new campaign song. She starts you off with a pretty funny spoof of the Soprano's finale. Then makes you go to her site. But really this is what people picked? Can you even win a presidential race with a Celine Dion song? We're doomed!
At some point this week, the topic of "Weird Science" came up. Something about the magic of 1980s computers and bras on heads to create women. Whatever. The point is, the movie rules. And as always, Youtube answers the call. God bless you John Hughes. Put your hand up in the air if you find it ridiculous that this movie was made 22 years ago...
And you don't really need to know how I came to be watching this amazing clip of "We don't need another hero" by Tina Turner.
*I may be in Toronto right now, and it may be hotter than I like, but a week of 28-30 and sunshine confirms my instincts not to buy a jacket this past weekend after I left Vancouver and that ugly weather. And the above commercial with the wicked Feist was playing on every channel I watched on my flight.
*This is the best weather promo, ever. I beg of you, Global, to let Wayne Cox or Kristi Gordon to do this kind of stuff. Please. Please. Please.
*To my vegan friends...in your face.
*Speaking of meats, Interpol's new website has some rad photos of animals consuming each other. Glorious carnivore wallpapers.
*Line of the day from Gawker, "Isn't Africa kind of last fall? We don't have the attention spans for that stuff. You know what we do care about, though? Celebrities!"
*Line of the day take 2, also from Gawker, "Let's just say that if you like watching douchebags cavort you won't be disappointed."
*Timeout magazine throws down. "Why the hipster must die."
*Oh, NBC, finally the reality show we've been waiting for! Age of Love. I'm not sure if this really happened. Could June 18th come fast enough?
*The Sopranos and design. Bada bing.
*The new single from Matt Pond PA "if you want blood" is pretty rad - and for real, you're gonna be glad you had more tambourines in it Matt.
I know the above video about some guy's feet and flip flops is just totally gross. I apologize. Trust me, this hurt me more than it will hurt you. At least now I won't eat the rest of the day. But this weather means more and more flip flops. I saw at least three sets so far this morning. Please rain!
In other news:
*I heard about Korean sushi yesterday. Aparently it is sushi with things like processed cheese or ham in it. I'm not sure about this concept.
*Last night on Robson street and Seymour I saw a couple of flip flop wearers putting thier Jack Daniel's into their 7-Up. Classy.
*At least being mistaken for Keanu Reeves didn't happen to me.
*Boogie Nights - Star Wars Edition.
*Okay. What is the deal with Pistol Shrimp?
Mmmmmmm....cheese....rolling. This is quite possibly the best thing I've seen this week. And after you watch that backgrounder, check in with the 2007 version. (Via Deadspin)
*The most recent New Yorker had a great Paul Theroux piece "The Golden Man" on the cray-zee former leader of Turkmenistan. "Everything Tukmenbashi did seemed to indicate he was out of his mind. He'd had parliament declare him 'President for life'; it was the will of the people, his ministers had said. He'd banned beards and ballet; he'd denouced gold teeth as unhygienic. A London newspaper reported that he had renamed bread after his mother." Now that is crazy!
*I'm a little bit too into the fact that National Treasure: Book of Secrets is coming.
*They greened up Trafalgar square. (via Adrants)
*I knew it. I buy a pair of Dr. Marten's and then this happens. More from The Hater: "According to this ad, heaven is a place filled with white-robed angels walking on fluffy white clouds bathed in beautiful light, but heavy boots are required for the terrain. And since Sid Vicious is there, evidently God doesn't see alleged manslaughter as a dealbreaker."
*Here's an advertising palette cleanser. Night Drive for VW, featuring some Dylan Thomas.
*This happened last week, but still, the new Gawker blog Jezebel is pretty funny so far.
*Oh dear god. The Rambo 4 trailer. Gulp.
*Fish slapping to sell beef jerky. Love it!
*On the plane yesterday I watched the 1999 classic "Drive Me Crazy" with Melissa Joan Hart. Whatever, except for that Rob Thomas - he of creating Veronica Mars - wrote it, and the movie features a pretty cute pre-Heroes Ali Larter in black/red hair looking all broody and pretty-goth. Slightly related the preview of Gossip Girl with Veronica doing the voiceover.
*Derek & Simon: The Show - "I love you".
*Slate looks at Helvetica Hegemony.
Not sure this is much of an omen. But today has started off with th above clip of Family Guy cranking out the Rick Astley and the very first song I hear in my hotel lobby today. You guessed it, Rick Astley. Pure 1988 "She Wants To Dance With Me". Coincidence? I think not. Now is this bad or good?
*"Beverly Hills, 90210" Season 2 is out on DVD. I know, amazing right? I just watched Episode 4, Anaconda and have some thoughts. 1. This was August 1991, and an entire episode devoted to the after-hours poker game at the beach club? So forward thinking! 2. I really love that Brandon rocks a Neville Brothers poster in his room. That's bold! 3. David Silver in matching shorts and shirt with cherries and other fruits on them. I'm just saying. 4. Hearing Steve Sanders talk about how amazing rear projection TV is the wave of the future. Whoops. 5. Seriously, no Kelly Taylor in this episode?
*Yes! News of a Super Troopers sequel. Who wants a mustache ride!
*Solving the mystery of the 5-cent Coca-Cola.
*Best Week Ever sums up Lindsay Lohan's power at the box office: "Lindsay Lohan once again proves to be the most mediocre box office draw working in Hollywood. Putting her in your movie guarantees a third or fourth place opening in the first week before the film finally fades away into its rightful place at the bottom of your Netflix queue, where it will continue to exist forever - $5.9 million"
*I think I know someone who will find the idea of "Planet Unicorn" pretty amazing.
*I'm totally behind - well, behind is the wrong word - in social networking. Clearly. But if I were to bother I might try Cork'd. But I don't really like people so it seems like a big leap to me.
Ever wake up on a Monday and wonder how the weekend could be over already. Today is pretty much that day. The above video "Lion vs Hyena" (via Kissing Suzy Kolber) is amazing and the following is true "Everything becomes 40% cooler when it's set to the Beastie Boys' 'Sabotage.'"
*During last night's Survivor finale they pimped the hell out of Mark Burnett's new show "Pirate Master". I mocked it before, but of course I'll watch. It looks ridiculous. Ridiculously amazing. Watch the trailer.
*The best sentence in the past 7-days, period. "I am quite serious when I say I would be totally happy if this video was the World Wide Web's grand finale, and then the Internet just went dark and we all went back to making candles and reading the bible and stuff." This was in response to this video.
*This might be a second coffee link. I'm just saying. But what about this can't be worthwhile? "The fine people at Hulett Environmental Services decided that midgets dressed up as character from Star Trek would be the absolute best way to convey the message of the superiority in the field of pest control. Beam us up!"
*This looks like a what a Telus ad would look like in Japan. And frankly I like it a lot more.
*Ever wonder, what happened to Eliza Dushku? She's improving Brad Penny's pitching for starters.
*In the words of Bob Ryan from Entourage, If I told you there was a movie starring Amanda Bynes and Meadow Soprano in the tropics, would that be something you'd be interested in? Probably.
*Somebody please kill this guy.
*Martha Stewart vs Lindsay Lohan. Advantage Martha.
*I was really starting to enjoy The Hills, but Heidi and Spencer are disgusting.
I'm not exactly sure what is more alarming. That some illadvised people are trying to make May Mullet Month in this city. Or worse, that they are charging $25 bucks to get one.
"It may be the most reviled hairstyle on earth, but a cadre of shaggy-haired Vancouverites is determined to help the mullet make a comeback.Friends Ben Besler and Caleb Weitzel, both 29, have declared May 'mullet month' in Vancouver. They've teamed up with 26-year-old hairstylist Vanessa Greenidge of Knotty Boy salon in East Vancouver. She is offering a $25 special on mullet haircuts all month and challenging other hairstylists to do the same.
Why the mullet?
'Because it's the most influential hairstyle of all time,' says Mr. Weitzel, an electrician. 'Everyone is always talking about the mullet.'"
Good grief. I don't need this today.
I don't know what it is about the eternal struggle between the house cat and the turtle that is so compelling, but watch and understand. That turtle is cray-zee.
*I have to agree. This may very well be "the greatest and best video of all time." Watch it.
*And since that was so amazing. How can the same world also produce this? Blonde Ambition Trailer starring Jessica Simpson. Come on.
*I guess the same kind of world that can produce hundreds of stinky cheeses and have the worst contestents on their version of Idol. Pierre sings Grace Kelly. Can Sarkozy fix this quagmire too?
*I can't leave videos at this. The Vitaminwater badminton commercial with David Ortiz is pretty awesome.
*For that matter, let's add yesterday's TV Squad Daily with Brigitte.
*Well, fancy that my pretties. There is a whole website devoted to Hot Chicks With Douchebags. I came for the chuckle, and I stayed for this, "I'm not sure when 19th Century literary villains started emerging as 21st century douchebags. But someone needs to close the book on this trend as soon as douchily possible." (Via CityRag)
*Wonkette presents Cheney's Vacation Scrapbook: "Dick Cheney’s trip to Baghdad has been chock full of all the laughs and hijinks we’ve come to expect from that jolly old character and his neocolonial pet project."
*And if we're on the Cheney neocolonialism, I still enjoy James Spader as Howard Shore on Boston Legal. Watch his Guantanamo Rant. He rules.
*Dear Oli. Please take note of this how to video on Guyliner.
*Go meet Allison Stokke. Aparently pole vaulting is the sexy.
*Remember Josh Waitzkin (Searching For Bobby Fisher)? His trailer for his book is hilarious.
*Writer couldn't get into eat at Thomas Keller's The French Laundry. See writer attempt to document via blog every recipe in his book. Killer.
*Finally. The history of the ironic t-shirt.
*Trump. The meat? He's raised the steaks...
With a pretty sweet Marty Mcfly cameo. This is pure hump day fuel.
"Voting for the Are You Our Next Style Spy Girl? contest has started and goes till Sunday, May 20th. Voters get a chance to Win 1 of 5 $100 Off the Wall shopping sprees. Make sure to check out the fabulous group of finalists. Meet the finalists at The Style Spy's fashion show finale at Richmond Centre's food court on Saturday, June 2nd, 2:30pm. Hosted by Razer 969's Lauren Toyota and Jessica Reddy with outfits styled by celebrity stylist Courtney Watkins."
This was from "Tiffany". And this was a contest from Richmond Center. Look Tiffany, I'm sure you're cute, but this IS NOT the Richmondite - that is some other blog, by some other jerk - and you should not open yourself up to this. I'm not sure what this means: " Style Spy Girl knows how to rock her own style. She's outgoing, fun and just plain fabulous. Which girl is your fave?" but it sounds ridilculously Richmond.
Then again, this Haley girl and her "get me the hell off the island and into civilization where I can shop" attitude seems cool yes? I'm so confused.
Honestly. I took my camera to get another billboard in Vancouver tonight. Clearly that didn't happen. I'm pretty sure Mel, Lisa, and Amber delay'd me fron that goal - as did the fake accented irish girl at Ceili's. So until then, there is this unintentionally funny BMW billboard in Vancouver. "Driving a BMW is so fun, it almost feels like you’re abusing prescription medication." Of course, getting though your average Tuesday should be 2 vicodin, 1.5 prozacs, and 1/2 viagra anyway when you roll in a BMW. I mean, Just to get though, kind of Lohan style right? [hat tip Ad Freak via skonen_blades on Flickr.]
Okay, admit it, any day that starts off with some Dawson's Creek - the pre-cult years of Katie Holmes - is a good one. Some cheerios and the ridiculousness of how creepily earnest Dawson is make one's day. Once you admit this guilty pleasure, the better you'll be.
*The Sopranos this past week was incredible. I won't get into details, but the internets are abuzz at Carmella's reading of Fred Barnes "Rebel in Chief". Are Tony and Carmella secret Bush Neocon lovers. Adorable! [Slate] PS: Bush blooper with the Queen.
*730 cars were burned in France following the election. Or what they affectionately call, a nice little Sunday. Note that the Leninists are coming out against Sarkozy in France. Quelle surprise.
*Those Japanese. So clever. I didn't think we needed an entire store with T-Shirt vending machines, but then you see it for real, and it becomes magically clear.
*I know David Suzuki just guest edited The Vancouver Sun so this can't be true. But is Global Warming becoming a bit of a bore?
Links to get us through the long nightmare that is Monday morning. I of course will be diligently working away, but you need links.
*Oh thank god. Apparently they are working on a sequel to Wall Street. More at Hollywood Elsewhere. And of course, knowing that Choke is going to be made into a movie warms our cockles very much this morning.
*Welcome to a world of "green child abuse". The New York Times reports on children who believe, “When you use too much electricity, it kills animals." Tim Blair responds, "Well, it does if you hook up the electrodes right."
*Deadline Hollywood brings us news of the magical pilots that await us in September on TV. But the one show I want to see is this summer's Mad Men on AMC. Just watch the trailer.
*Trailers: I'm totally crushing on Isla Fisher in Wedding Daze. She's adorable. How about her in Hot Rod? And Eagle vs Shark looks pretty amazing too. Ocean's 40.
*The recap of Greg Gutfeld's Red Eye from the other night. Note the Rachel Marsden appearence. Creepy/Foxy right? Watch them all here.
*I don't know why, but the thought of Coke, in bottles, with real cane sugar sounds yum.
*For no reason other than the fact that House rules. Jennifer Morrison. And if I post that, well, then I probably can post this Veronica Mars statue of awesome.
*More post-Cold War cool, Stoli, the famed Russian vodka, is now a hotel.
*I don't know if this is totally sickening, or makes the wait to The Hills Season 3 totally completely unbearable. Thoughts?
*Wonkette reviews the Queen's visit to America: "still here, trying to surreptitiously take back the US for the British Empire under cover of darkness in a backroom deal with Dick Cheney, the Church of Scientology, a number of Freemasons, and Hitler’s brain."
*PS: Heart the French.
The Globe and Mail had a story on the B.C. Lieutenant-Governor's awards in architecture this weekend. It would seem that even though condos - part of the multi-family housing category - are going up practically everywhere, they aren't worth of awards. Really? You mean these ridiculous marketing driven boxes aren't all that design-y or worth a damn. Interesting. The things the author calls, "Rodney Dangerfield of architecture" don't get any respect:
"But the real reason multiple-family housing rarely makes it onto design awards lists is that architects are not paid enough to do it well. The fact is that here in B.C. we devote around 4 per cent of total housing costs to all design fees (architecture, engineering, landscape), while we pay four times that amount for real estate marketing (advertising, display centres, agent's fees). Well, you get what you pay for."
I'm not sure where to start with this post. If I started with Men Without Hats' Safety Dance video, I'm sure it won't tip you to the treasures of the web to unearth here in this post. Don't mind me.
The Cold War
In between reading John Lewis Gaddis's great page turner history, The Cold War - an amusing if sometimes terrifying recounting of the post war years and watching MASH (the movie, not the tv show) was a hell of a way to toil away the weekend. The MASH viewing led to some googles to the other spin off from the movie, Trapper John, M.D. Of course, this starred Pernell Roberts, he of Bonanza fame as Adam Cartwright. Here's the intro to Trapper John. So good.
Now, where was I? Ah yes, in Gaddis' book, the rogues gallery of Cold War douchebaggery was pretty awesome - from Mao to Charles de Gaulle to Uncle Joe. Of course, in this day and age, when you read about Nixon and Khrushchev, you hit up the web and watch Nixon in the USSR in 1959. Or this amazing extra scene from Oliver Stone's Nixon. (part 2)
I'm not sure what I like better. Vintage Soviet movie posters or Grindhouse style posters of other movies. Now, the question is, should my next book to read be Three Nights in Havana - the tale of Pierre Eliot Trudeau yuking it up in Cuba. Hmmm...thats a tough one.
The Snail Elections
And all that Cold War yum yums, particularly the de Gaulle, made me tune into the French elections today, where Nicolas Sarkozy won with huge turnout. Of course, you have to like a guy who celebrates at Fouquet's - a smuggier place with $12 euro cakes there could never be. I like how they roll in French politics. Now, the burning of the cars! Whoo Hoo! (Pajamas Media report from Paris) I want some Cotes Du Rhone and a viewing of the Bayeux Tapestry in motion to celebrate.
And I'm pretty sure this fun fact won't make some people happy, but since the war in Iraq, the G7 has the score of 6-1, elected governments that are Pro-American supporters of the war on terror. The lone hold out, Italy. Mamma Mia.
All that Jazz
Did I mention that I was cranking the Jazz all day? Seriously if you aren't down with Freddie Hubbard and Art Blakey performing Moanin' in 1962, well you're probably dead. If so, watch this Art Blakey & The Jazz Messengers doing Dat Dere in Japan in 1961. Still not satisfied? Fine, Dave Brubek Take Five and Erroll Garner in 1962, Just One of those Things, that's my final offer. On second thought all this got me to watch the intro to Ken Burns Jazz, which got me to do some sneaking around for Ken Burns next film, The War which comes out in the fall. Now, for some reason I can't remember, I found this website that is pretty cool, and offering flights on B-17 WWII bombers this year.
Say Hey Willie.
Willie Mays turns 76 today. And how great would it be to able to watch Barry Bonds in the Sunday Night Baseball on ESPN tonight? Of course, he's not playing tonight. Bastards. If Julio Franco can still play and knock 'em out (at age 48) you'd think Bonds could show up for the nationally televised game. And seriously, Roger Clemens is back with the Yankees? At least baseball cards are coming out of the bust.
Bonus: Best headline this week. Skywalkers in Korea cross Han solo.
As if you won't be just "ohhing" all morning after seeing that Sopranos clip. Oh Please.
*Since I started with The Sopranos, it seems only fair to give you the clip from last week's Entourage where Ari Gold flips at his wife and therapist.
*This weekend I watched The Goonies. Seriously, it was 22 years ago? It's still pretty amazing. Original Goonies trailer here. Or watch The Family Guy on The Goonies.
*I also watched Papillon with Steve McQueen. It even has a website. But that got me to think about The Towering Inferno. Which led to this Steve McQueen cigarette ad. Or you can buy his old car.
*Ken Levine's daughter Annie talks about Whole Foods: "And there are the idiots, the former hippies. The ones who pick up a $20 loaf of bread because it has fibers from the Hicabutusism tree in West Africa, where little magical all-natural fairies plow the soil until the perfect grain is achieved. Get a grip, people. Wonderbread has little magical fairies too, they’re call sweat-shop workers!"
*The Stalin Car.
*How to get into a baseball game.
*Steven Seagal, in energy drink form. Delicious?
*Wired has a pretty interesting story of how the CIA used a fake sci-fi movie to rescue Americans from Iran.
*What if, in WW2 Germany built a giant robot? I hate those Nazi robot guys. Check out this crazy computer animated alternative history in Code Guardian. (Part 1, Part 2)
*If you have a case of the Mondays, you might need to watch this bit of amazing tape.
*This is the best thing I read so far, The Daily Gut reports, "The French dislike themselves even more than the Americans dislike them, according to an opinion poll published on Friday."
*Bonus links: Ted Williams hitting. 1970 Coke ad shows the Ken Burns effect in action. This reminds me, how amazing is Gene Hackman?
1. Everyone dumps on America for this kind of thing. But it's nice to know that the rest of the world is just as trashy and stupid. Wild Hogs rules the international box office. I rest my case.
2. Pure Awesome. It's kind of like "how did this take so long" would be my initial thought. But Scott Baio + Reality Show = Home Run Hit. And...revel in this kids...Scott Baio in sexy slideshow format. Oh Hells ya.
3. This is huge. Super Socco in yummy commercial clip form [Via Metroblogging Vancouver]
4. Random Videos that just need to be linked. Sorry for the over youtubedness. a. Cheney is a Creep. Sorry Dick. b. The clip at the top of the post is from Silver Spoons. It is amazing. So is break dancing. So glad Rick Schroder is back to being Ricky. And remember Jason Bateman on Silver Spoons! And remember this episode? c. Silver Spoons Buffy? d. Kirk vs. The Gorn. SO GOOD.
5. Question: Mandy Moore "Extraordinary" or Feist "1 2 3 4" I would have said Fiest, but where the hell did this cafe rock Mandy Moore come from? Zach Braff destroys women and makes them uber cool. Bastard.
So I get this email yesterday morning from my friend Craig titled "What a Sweet Weekend". It includes the above picture and the following note: "Jackson, can you believe the weather we've been having...ahhhhh." Very funny pal. Very Funny. I won't forget this my friend. It's on like Donkey Kong!
And just so you know, the downside of climate change (thank you Al Gore) will be more and more flip flops. That means more and more men walking around showing their gross feet. And yours truly is now fully commited to making sure this planet remains an ice cube for all eternity thus saving us from the horro of flip flops. DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME, Sir?
I'll get you for this, cat lover. Take this: Shocking Cats!
*Operation Kitten Calendar. The story of the reality show on the next big kitten calendar. This Acceptable TV also does a pretty mean "Homeless James Bond" series.
*Oh Bridgette, I heart you. Check out her TV Squad Daily post yesterday on Trump and more.
*Star Trek Meets Monty Python. Geek Fantasy with Sarah Lane.
*Baseball season started this week. Get the worst hats ever at the MLB site. The "Argyle Fade Fitted Caps by New Era."
*This one is for Craig. "Catvertising" And Possibly Jeremy who insisted on wearing a sweatshirt with Kittens and cowboy boots last week - and you wonder why a bird dumped on you? I kid.
*Damn you! Damn you Vanity Fair. The April green issue features Leonardo DiCaprio with that cute overloaded baby polar bear from Germany on the cover. At least they didn't put that idiot John Travolta on the cover. He's not so green.
*Geek out chicks: 24's Chloe sans stunned look. Pam from The Office.
*Why is Avril Lavigne such a dumb bitch? Honest to god.
Movies:
*Watched a few brief minutes of The Eiger Sanction last night. Holy crap! It's like a running one liner: "Miss Cerberus: I don't think Mr. Dragon's affliction is a joking matter. Dr. Jonathan Hemlock: I thought it was rather humorous, myself. A spy network being run by a bloodless freak who can't stand light or cold. " Of course co-writer Warren Murphy was also responsible for Remo Williams. It all makes sense now.
*How cool is this. The Departed features the impending doom of X's. Everywhere. A tribute to Howard Hawks' classic 1932 Scarface.
*The above clip reminded me that Rushmore is out in Criterion Collection now. Check out that rockin Futura Bold Eh! And get it for this: "For the 1999 MTV Movie Awards, Wes Anderson directed his own versions of Armageddon, The Truman Show, and Out of Sight, as performed for high school theater by the Rushmore Players, directed by Max Fischer. They're fantastic. And in the most obscure joke on the DVD, Anderson has Max Fischer slide across the stage on a chair during the NASA scenes from Armageddon"
*FilmWad's review of Grindhouse. "Fergie’s in it. If you find her attractive, then we would probably not make for good friends in real life."
*Ninja Cheerleaders. And Mr. Sulu? Bring It On.
Music:
*I can't really Natasha Bedingfield and her singing about babies is just gross. But She looks good. Mute?
*Katy Perry seems pretty cool. Kind of a LA Lilly Allen and 100% less annoying than Avril. Video for "Simple"
*Can't stop listening to Chester French.
*Kings of Convenience video time "I'd Rather Dance with You".
*Something worse than making the new Pussycat Dolls? FHM's High Street Honeys doing the Divinyls.
Final Word:
*Ziggy, will you EVER win?
1. Remind me again why it was that Hudson Hawk was such a failure. It was pure genuis entertaiment. Wow, 16 years since the birth and possibly death of the psuedo action-comedy genre. Another example of marketing wrecking everything.
2. I was reminded this weekend just how amazing War Games was. Love it. Love it. 1983 ruled.
3. Shatner in TJ Hooker. Is this on DVD? Check. Not convinced? Take a look at the season 3 intro. Pure awesome.
4. How amazing was S Club 7? Are you kidding me? It's like the tastiest bubblegum that lasts for a minute. And yes, this will be in your head all day long. You can thank me later. Double Shot for you here.
5. One Love from Ricky Gervais. Absolutely Priceless.
Of course "I'm Shipping Up to Boston" from the Dropkick Murphy's. While you're at it, the opening from The Departed.
Where should you Spend St. Patrick's Day in Vancouver:
1. Irish Heather (217 Carrall)
2. Doolins (654 Nelson Street)
3. Any random gutter or alleyway
4. Ceili's
5. Morrissey (1227 Granville Street)
Seriously don't go to any of these places. It will be total hell.
More:
*St. Patrick's Day Greeting Cards.
*St. Paddy's Day fun facts. [Yum Sugar]
From the Hoff. Wax on. Wax Hoff.
I'm surprised Granville Street isn't awash with beer and green vomit yet. Remember the amazingness that was St. Patrick's Day in Springfield. Oh, Apu, you're so Irish.
Related: How to pour a perfect pint of Guinness. So yum.
Previously on The Vancouverite:
*It's not easy being green (March 17, 2006)
*St. Paddy's Day Tips (March 17, 2006)
*I started watching The Black Donnellys. It's better than Studio 60. That's not saying much. But the music is good (Frou Frou for instance) and there is the lovely Olivia Wilde. The show seems like the OC mixed with The Departed and rated PG-13.
*This made me laugh. Gawker's take on Ad sitcoms. "Easy Company--Set in a sleek slick Silicon Valley tech company, two goofball junior web designers (the "I'm a Mac" guy & ?) secretly use a magical Staples Easy Button to finish their work at the last minute. Scenarios: always losing the Button, natch; taking the Button to bars to turn prudish SanFran hippie chicks into nymphos; etc."
*Neato. 19th Century Shipping Posters.
*This comes as no surprise. All you smug condo owning smartasses will bring down the economy. Thanks. Jerks.
*This won't win me very friends, but Tim Blair calls out the Gore-ists, "Perhaps Marshall could list those “dire global weather developments” of the past year ... more polar bears? Fewer hurricanes? Hideous Canadian mildness?"
*Advertising vs Reality #1,367. Wendy's 4-Alarm Spicy Chicken Sandwich. Yuk.
*Amusing micro-site where Coke attempts to sue itself.
Alan Thicke to turn Lost into 1/2 hour sitcom? Oh Alan Thicke. You magnificent bastard.
*Arnold shares his deepest feelings.
*I'm completely sick of Angelina Jolie. The jet setting around the world, the adopting of babies everyweek, the I'm so perfect. And her foiling of kidnappings. You're trying too hard.
*Tracy Morgan is probably the funniest thing ever so far this week.
*Upset your liberal ideology. Haliburton vs. Walmart. It's kind of win/win, non?
*Some rad motion graphics using Pulp Fiction audio. Don't ask. Just click.
*The short but muddy history of the beef dip sandwich.
*Honest to god. I hate advertisers. I posted yesterday about the Chase Manhattan comercial that uses the Soup Dragons "I'm Free", but I could have mentioned the absolutely sickening use of the Violent Femmes "Blister in the Sun" for Wendy's - the first time was for a bleeding fish burger (speaking of fish burgers - nice segway dude - this is just gross), but really this GMC Acadia ad is shameless. Using Modern English. Bastards. I tried to find the Wendy's but could only find this classic Soviet Fashion Show ad from the 80's. So good.
*Gawker points out "Most Douchey Product Ever".
*"Things Val Kilmer Whispers to Himself in the Shower". Like: "You can be my wingman any time, toilet.”
FIlm:
*The Departed in 2 minutes.
*Straight to DVD: Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning.
*As if Eddie Murphy's Norbit wasn't enough of a slap to our faces, he has to go ruin Fantasy Island too? "As contractually obligated, Murphy will be playing several roles with the help of hilarious fat suits and voices." The show was amazing.
*Ken Levine brings us the lost scenes of Arthur. So good.
*Just listening to news about National Treasure 2 is fun.
TV:
*Hope for Lost from James Lileks: "You have to admire a show that gives you a character named Locke, another named Burke, a crazy French lady named Rousseau, a fellow who grapples with the issues of free will and determinism and happens to be named Hume. This week we meet a mysterious eye-patched Rooskie, and he’s named Bukhanin. This all suggests that the show does not take place in purgatory, but in the senior thesis of a particularly precocious high school philosophy student."
*Sarah Silverman. Has one night stand with "Black God". Akward.
*I'm absolutely sure Jack Bauer won't be pleased with what Kim is up to. Although I'm still sure that 24 fans will be happy about this other Kim related news.
Music:
*Jena Malone. What are you doing?
*Do I like Cold War Kids? I'm not sure. This video is pretty cool though.
*Chase bank is using a version of this song. But come on, who didn't love the Soup Dragons? "I'm Free"
Miscellany:
*The new Gap ad sums up everything that has has gone wrong with that company. Best Week Ever: "While we applaud your decision to bring us Clare Danes without pants in this latest advertisement, please dispense with the musical theatricality and calling things “boyfriend pants”. Thank you."
*The New York Times has a new column called the Mantry. This weekend's version is all about cured meats. Honest to god how good does this sound: "Lardo Sometimes euphemistically called “white prosciutto,” lardo is pork back fat that’s been salted and aged. It’s advanced salumi, and nearly impossible to find. " (via Gawker)
*I think the idea of Diet Coke Plus. A diet Coke with vitamins is just awesome.
Still laughing about:
*"Perhaps the best headline ever published by the New York Times."
*John Edward's virtual campaign HQ getting vandalized in Second Life. Dude.
