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It's Monday March the 12 around 7:00AM and

Buzz Dump: The Joy of Cured Meats, etc.

*Straight to DVD: Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning.

*As if Eddie Murphy's Norbit wasn't enough of a slap to our faces, he has to go ruin Fantasy Island too? "As contractually obligated, Murphy will be playing several roles with the help of hilarious fat suits and voices." The show was amazing.

*Ken Levine brings us the lost scenes of Arthur. So good.

*Just listening to news about National Treasure 2 is fun.

TV:
*Hope for Lost from James Lileks: "You have to admire a show that gives you a character named Locke, another named Burke, a crazy French lady named Rousseau, a fellow who grapples with the issues of free will and determinism and happens to be named Hume. This week we meet a mysterious eye-patched Rooskie, and he’s named Bukhanin. This all suggests that the show does not take place in purgatory, but in the senior thesis of a particularly precocious high school philosophy student."

*Sarah Silverman. Has one night stand with "Black God". Akward.

*I'm absolutely sure Jack Bauer won't be pleased with what Kim is up to. Although I'm still sure that 24 fans will be happy about this other Kim related news.

Music:
*Jena Malone. What are you doing?

*Do I like Cold War Kids? I'm not sure. This video is pretty cool though.

*Chase bank is using a version of this song. But come on, who didn't love the Soup Dragons? "I'm Free"

Miscellany:
*The new Gap ad sums up everything that has has gone wrong with that company. Best Week Ever: "While we applaud your decision to bring us Clare Danes without pants in this latest advertisement, please dispense with the musical theatricality and calling things “boyfriend pants”. Thank you."

*The New York Times has a new column called the Mantry. This weekend's version is all about cured meats. Honest to god how good does this sound: "Lardo Sometimes euphemistically called “white prosciutto,” lardo is pork back fat that’s been salted and aged. It’s advanced salumi, and nearly impossible to find. " (via Gawker)

*I think the idea of Diet Coke Plus. A diet Coke with vitamins is just awesome.

Still laughing about:
*"Perhaps the best headline ever published by the New York Times."

*John Edward's virtual campaign HQ getting vandalized in Second Life. Dude.

*Could this Asteriod Solve Global Warming, Iraq, and Poverty. That would be awesome!

*Jenna Bush's $300,000 book deal. Hate you.

*John McCain's new ad "Stand Up" which the Onion's Hater blog notes: "John McCain + what sounds like the Pirates Of The Caribbean soundtrack = the most powerful political rally video yet"