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It's Monday August the 4 around 9:48PM and

Things I've Learned, Issue 4: Olympic Booty, Hammer Attacks

If the O'Jays Love Train doesn't get you pumped after a long weekend you're dead to me.

*Nice to see NBC get cheeky with just 4 days until the Olympic Games. Very funny, an entire gallery of beach volleyball's female rear end entitled "Cracking the code." Genius.

*Legendary hijacker D.B. Cooper reportedly hid money in Vancouver bank. Sidebar: Do you remember how kind of creepy Unsolved Mysteries was? Check out 1988's story on D.B. Cooper. (Part 2). I think it was just Robert Stacks delivery. Or the theme song. Amazing.

*Hammer attacks? Really? In Vancouver no less? Anyways, a hammer terrorist sent six to the hospital Sunday night. "Police say he then went to a lounge, where he hit six people, knocking one of them unconscious. He then went to a nearby restaurant patio, where he hit two women and a man. In total, nine people were hit, and six had to be taken to hospital. But luckily most of the injuries were not serious." [CTV]

*Vancouver born actor Ryan Reynolds supports Barrack Obama. Not sure that helps. Wait, they're tied?

*Charlie Sheen makes $800,000 per episode of Two and a Half Men. I definetely just threw up a little in my mouth.

*This one's for Graham. "Forget the iPhone, The iTouch is good enough." HEH.

*Good news. Starbucks will be keeping those delicious breakfast sandwiches on the menu after all.

*Even better news. The benefits of working out in pill form.

*Best closed for business sign I've seen in ages. The references to The Battle of Tabouli are a nice touch.

*Yikes, is "Greyhound bus-style" actually in the lexicon now? Jesus.

*Johnny Griffin, a jazz great passes. Another ridiculously fabulous well written English obit is written. He solos big time in this video.

*I miss Paris at the end of July.

*A Honus Wagner baseball card sold for $1.62 million.

*Favorite Quote this week thus far: "'Hipster: The Dead End of Western Civilization' is the new cover story from Adbusters. If you're not familiar, Adbusters is a fun, angry, Starbucks-hating publication whose credo states that we've all been brainwashed by advertising and mass media into an orgy of overconsumption that lets the American Empire destroy the rest of the world to feed our fat faces. I buy it at Whole Foods." [Valleywag]