Vancouver TV

It's Monday May the 5 around 6:53PM and

Hills In a Hurry: Calamari

What if The Hills had no dialogue? What if it just had 50% more awkward silences instead? Pure. Genius.

It's Thursday January the 17 around 8:02AM and

Kind of Creepy Cheese Ad

Consumerist unearths an especially creepy cheese ad featuring Luis Guzman and wait for it...other 'chedder hunks.'

It's Thursday January the 17 around 7:54AM and

Lasagna Cat

Piling on to the Lasagna Cat phenomenon that is sweeping the tubes. This is kind of what the internets was invented for: grown men reenacting comic strips about a grumpy fat cat. The fact that in this episode Jon decides to grow a mustache followed by a Manic Monday musical blow out...is how you say? Amazing.

It's Tuesday January the 15 around 11:23PM and

Summary Judgment: Douglas Coupland's JPod Watch: Episodes 1 & 2.

Just got around to watching the 2nd episode of CBC's JPod. Yes folks, that is right my favorite proveyor of the smug, Douglas Coupland, has brought his Helvetica loving quirkfest to the mothership. I've watch the pilot and the 2nd episode and here's what you need to know. Oh, and yes, in case you're wondering I've read the book.

The Best of the Worst.

1. Terrible video game graphics. That and some shit awful sound design tip this off as Canadian.

2. Did they deliberately chose the cinematography/lighting/look of the show? Or is this just what a scripted show filmed on a set in Canada has to look like? If so why? It looks better outdoors, but inside looks like a Canadian show. I hate that.

3. Pretty sure tonight they were at After Glow. Can't ever go there again. Douche alerts!

4. Do Coupland's little inane miscellany page filler items that seem questionable in even the books translate into television transition? At all? No. No they do not.

5. Helvetica.

6. The idea of shirtless software developers makes me kind of sick-y.

7. Blatant use of Tragically Hip in the pilot. Is that ironic or just lazy?

8. Canwest calls it (and other new CBC shows) "urbane, ironic and watchable"? Gulp. "the show combines the elements of nerdy Chuck and quirky Weeds." Or is it Weeds and Reaper?

9. 60 minute episodes? Bahahhahahaah. That's rich.

10. Character blogs with not very much in the way of posts. Bless the web marketificationability and the tubes.

The Sort of Bestest Parts

1. It's not Two and A Half Men. I smell an endorsement.

2. Alan Thicke. Amazing, ironic choice, and full of retro-ocity. It's like Jason Seaver went on a twisted bender and started fooling around on Maggie while Boner and Mike watched. Too much? I should have said Ben? Right? He was more impressionable. And have you ever truly lived unless you've seen Thicke in a Nazi uniform? Amazing. PS: Has he aged at all?

3. Steph Song. Why? For real, you've seen this right?

4. Emilie Ullerup.

5. Laughable to see snow in Vancouver. Genius.

6. Upside to refuges? Sorry. My bad. Wrong list.

7. Just remembered from book. Will Coupland actually appear as himself in upcoming episodes? Please say yes. Smug meter would just go off.

8. Helvetica?

9. Refreshingly not Corner Gas.

10. Something to pass the WGA strike with no new Office or 30 Rock.

It's Sunday December the 30 around 8:03PM and

Fired from Dunder Mifflin = Eye of the Tiger Montage

Surely this isn't a good sign for 2008. It's like getting an email from future Dwight Schrute, to say nothing of the implications for my resolution to blog more in 2008. Bah:

We've noticed that your productivity has gone way down recently. In fact, in the past three weeks you haven't shown up to work at all. You're a valuable part of Dunder Mifflin Infinity. Without you, DMI wouldn't even exist. That's why we want to make sure that you're not leaving the company for good. If you're taking some personal time off, that's not a problem. Just click on the link below to login and get back to work no later than midnight Thursday, January 10, 2008 so we know you're still with us. All you have to do is earn some SchruteBucks and you'll be reinstated back into your branch immediately. Earning SchruteBucks is as easy as updating your profile, posting a message on your forum or completing a task. Just make sure to stay active at least once every three weeks and you'll never get a notice like this ever again. We've got some really great tasks coming up in the new year and we'd hate for you to miss out on them.
If you truly do wish to leave Dunder Mifflin Infinity, you don't have to do anything. On January 11, 2008 you will be terminated from your branch. Just know that we bid you a fond farewell and we'll miss you. We'd love to have you back at any time.

Seriously, I'm being fired from Dunder Mifflin Infinity? Bastards. 2008 is going to suck. Well, I guess it could be worse. I could be China and see my economy drop 40% overnight (Losing $4 trillion has gotta get someone fired over there.

It's Monday December the 24 around 8:06AM and

A Monkees Christmas

Can you get any better than a Monkees super version of a spanish carol 'Riu Chiu'? I think not.

It's Wednesday December the 19 around 7:34AM and

A Bears Christmas

This really needs no explanation at all. Full of amazing.

It's Monday December the 17 around 7:21AM and

A Peter Griffin Christmas

This would be a great album.

It's Monday December the 17 around 7:19AM and

Mark Jensen Family Christmas

Will Ferrell plus red sweater and rotating singing platform equals comedy gold.

It's Monday December the 10 around 8:43PM and

Alternate Reality TV Programs: Human Bowling

Tonight's theme as blogging begins to return to normal, is the writer's strike. I mean, during this difficult time, as original scripted television programming comes to a halt, can we not have shows like this I ask you? Fox should be all over this angle quite frankly. Discuss.

I mean, clearly, NBC is totally loving the writer's strike. Clash of the Choirs? Is this for real?

It's Tuesday October the 23 around 8:14AM and

In Praise of Tight Spandex in the 25th Century

Someone mentioned Twiki from Buck Rogers today. And this Youtube clip entitled, "Happy Birthday Buck - Erin Gray Tight Spandex" more than filled the bill.

It's Monday October the 22 around 11:04PM and

Quagmire, You old tom cat you...

Really enjoyed this wacky Family Guy scene. How else to describe what happens when Quagmire gets busy with Marge Simpson. Hilarity, among other outcomes ensues.

It's Monday October the 15 around 11:15PM and

Monday Video Awesome: Unicorns, Star Wars, And More

Not going to lie. The Unicorn Kingdom Club is partially creepy, partially AMAZING. Seriously, this is ridic.

This one, 'Star Wars Trumpet' was classified as " pretending her trumpet is a laser gun awful" at DataWhat. I couldn't look away.

At some point today I was on Amazon and couldn't believe that on DVD you can get season three of Hardcastle & McCormick. The show intro doesn't even make sense as a show to me anymore? Really the show plot was, "A retired judge and his last defendent follow up on cases that where dismissed due to technicalities." Oh Stephen J. Cannell, you crap genius sir.

Listening to Jamiroquai is like really douchey, right. We all agree. But when it's a killer Korean cover band is it okay? Probably not, but I won't tell.

It's Monday October the 1 around 9:42PM and

Andy Samberg Sings: Iran So Far

Still laughing about...Andy Samberg's Digital Short love poem to Iranian dictator Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

It's Monday October the 1 around 7:58PM and

Reasons To Watch More TV

Like you/me needed one. Things I'm really starting to enjoy about fall. Wait, no, things I'm really starting to enjoy about fall TV.

Chuck. I'm not sure how long I'll watch the show, but the reference to Oceanic 815 as a government secret, the use of Violent Femmes (albeit a cover) music, and I won't beat around the bush on this, but Yvonne Strzechowski. And to clarify, her cover job at the gourmet hot dog joint is pretty funny. Chuck's sister Sarah Lancaster and her ridiculous boyfriend kind of crack me up too.

I'm actually watching all of NBC's Monday night lineup. This wouldn't happen, but when you have pvr you just start recording things, then you use any excuse to watch it. That accounts for Journeyman. I think. Well, that and the pleasant sight of Moon Bloodgood (More at Maxim). Both these two shows work with Heroes because they both look really good, especially Journeyman. PS: the music is great during the trips back to the past, which make me long for a great Scott Bakula show. Oh. Boy. I mean who rocks the Smashing Pumpkins "Today" circa 1993 ever? Although the clearly fake Google search engine on the iPhone is ridic.

And I might as well round up things that while Reaper isn't going to the biggest show ever, or this season even, I'm watching 'cause it's filmed here, the pilot was directed by Kevin Smith, and, well, Missy Peregrym. And why not. Not gonna lie, we called her the local "it" girl April 2006. And we stand by that reco, especially since Stick It was so great, plus she was on Heroes right?

And I'm not going to forget about Heroes. Last week our friend Anthony summed up the first episode like this, "All i'm saying is that Heroes better not suck the lame more than it did this episode. I have much higher expectations from it than i do for a remake of a mediocre series that is shot on West Hastings street and stars a British soap star." Well, let's not be too harsh and compare it to Bionic Woman. He did add, "there was good (3rd world hottie killing people, Suresh infiltrating the company) there was bad (Claire doing her best Buffy imitation, Nathan creepy longshoreman beard) and there was lame. (another flying person, Claires dad at Kinko's, Peter...wait for it...amnesia, and then seeing that Sylar is still alive.)" All good points. So he's not going to be pleased with ehe cherry blossom snow tonight I'm pretty sure. And. Seriously. Good. Ending.

Quick I better link to photos of Hayden Panettiere and Kristen Bell bowling to appease him.

It's Monday October the 1 around 8:12AM and

Scarecrow and Mrs. King

I don't know what made me think of Scarecrow and Mrs. King and the opening sequence, perhaps it was a brief Kate Jackson flash. Whatever. How great was that show?

It's Sunday September the 30 around 6:50PM and

Intelligence: Back for a 2nd Season

I'm not sure how pitching Chris Haddock's Intelligence opposite Heroes on Monday nights starting tonight can be a good thing, but I'm sure the Mother Ship knows what they are doing. Intelligence is back for what they are calling, "More sex, drugs, and espionage" in another 12 episodes and a sophomore effort. When we last saw our friendly neighborhood drug dealer Jimmy "The Weed King" Reardon, he was on his way to Seattle to be lured into the hands of a waiting DEA trap, while his friend in the high place of Canadian intelligence, Mary Spalding, had her hands just as full with Americans too as she climbs the CSIS ladder and deals with a mole.

The second season begins on the edge of those dual disasters and promises to keep a steady pace. Of course this means that Reardon and Spalding will be pushed closer and closer together. The show is still the best scripted thing on Canadian TV, and looks dirty good as always. My only complaint is sometimes, rarely, it does have that Canadian feel - the full strip club that is quiet enough to have a whispered conversation in, but whatever.

(Credit: melodrama.ca)

A couple of things to look out for this season besides more action at the Chickadee. Can you get enough of a stripper named Sweet? Come on! It's the feel good story of the year. One thing I enjoyed about the first two episodes of this new season has been the pervy inspector General of CSIS who seems like a sneaky spy version of Bloc Leader Gilles Duceppe crossed with a tiny bit of Liberal Leader Stephane Dion. Which is pretty great. And, having the twenty-one year old Lorna (Leela Savasta), Raoul's niece, which is nice - hopefully nice enough for Jimmy to finally call things off with his cokehead of a wife. Oh, and let's not forget how Matt Frewer has mastered the fine art of douche bag intelligence guy.

It's Friday September the 28 around 7:21AM and

Musical Friday Trio

I think today needs musical numbers. It's been a long week. Friday's first video from the Buffy musical, "I'll Never Tell." Please tell me that this will someday play interactively on a big screen here in Vancouver?

And if you're going to have an great musical number, can Woody Allen + Ed Norton doing "My Baby Just Cares For Me" be a bad idea?

And things are better in threes. Frank Sinatra and Bing Crosby in High Society singing "Did you ever?" Alternately you could check out "Who Wants to be a Millionaire."

It's Friday September the 28 around 7:17AM and

Whatnottery: It's a Smallville Afterall

Smallville premiered its new season last night and it ended with a look at Super Girl. Never really watched this show before, apparently it's filmed here. Does that even matter? Meanwhile, Erica Durance, aka Lois Lane graces the sleazy cover of Maxim. I can see why I should care now.

*The Office was amazing. But you know that already I'm sure. Michael Scott ran his car into Meredith, Dwight killed Angela's cat Sprinkles, and Pam and Jim are dating. Ryan rocked a killer beard now that he is a wunderkind.

*I told my friend Anthony today about my new friend in Gossip Girl, Blair. He said, "yeah, she's cute for a 40 year old. I had to dump it for my schedule." FYI: Dude. she's 21. Jerk.

*Couldn't sleep last night, again, and watched Life. This is the NBC show, after Bionic Woman, described pretty amazingly by a commentator at IMDB as, "The Gregory House of Cop World." It stars Damian Lewis, who was pretty awesome in Band of Brothers. He's pretty great with the whole wrongly accused I have millions but no furniture, hate cops but eat excessive fruits, and am trying to have fun with life kind of vibe. And honestly, Sarah Shahi , must I say more? The show is on for next week. Damn it.

*I watched episode of Mad Men too. In the show they watched this amazing John F. Kennedy ad/song from the 1960 election. Totally catchy. And seeing where they are filming the show on Gridskipper is interesting.

*I cannot taste the difference between Canada Dry Club Soda and Perrier. Eat that French water!

*My new favorite blog is ADam - Creative Director.

It's Wednesday September the 26 around 11:07PM and

Bionic Wednesdays?

I tried out Bionic Woman tonight. You know props out to Vancouver and all. Sigh. I wish I could just leave it at that. This show is no Heroes was be better. I made it past the teaser open only after massive car crash scene, since Jamie Sommers seems kind of not very interesting to watch. I'm so over the secret government agencies. And for reals, how do you cast a way better badee in Katee Sackhoff than the weak 'Bionic Woman', Jamie is so dead if they want to get past episode 12. Fine, fine, she runs like a cheetah and it's all about girl power.

But I did learn some things watching some premiere week TV last night. Like the fact that my PVR should have melted down with all the over-the-top recording the past two days. Please can it rain this weekend so I can catch up? I'm pathetic.

The kids on Gossip Girl aren't 30-year old actresses like I thought after episode one. phew! PS: Love Blair Waldorf, er, Leighton Meester. This show had me at, "Some may call this a fustercluck, but on the Upper East Side we call it Sunday afternoon."

It's Wednesday September the 26 around 8:07AM and

Jack Donaghy's Summer Shows

The opening of this promo for next week's premiere of 30 Rock is pretty awesome. Mostly because I just love the idea of Jack Donaghy's summer shows "America's Next Top Pirate", "Are You Stronger Than a Dog", "Milf Island" (25 Super-hot moms, 50 8-grade boys, no rules).

It's Monday September the 24 around 7:08AM and

Family Guy Does Star Wars

I think being able to do a 60-min episode devoted to the singular parody of Star Wars is a pretty amazing feat for Family Guy. Considering they were canceled and everything.

It's Thursday September the 20 around 8:24AM and

5 Days to Heroes

OMG. 5 days until Heroes. Much of everthing else over that time is completely meaningless. I'm a geek. Whatevs. Video from the new Entertainment Weekly covershoot. Actually linking to this makes me an uber-geek, but it's my blog I can do whatever I want.

It's Wednesday September the 19 around 9:43AM and

Bionic Woman Filming Downtown

It's a week before it even premieres, but Bionic Woman out and about in Vancouver filming upcoming episodes. Perhaps you can grab a sneak peak of Michelle Ryan as they film along the 400 block of West Pender and Hastings today. That would be sweet. This is just a lame excuse to post something about this show.

It's Tuesday September the 18 around 7:11AM and

Bonjour Newman

Everything is way funnier dubbed in French. Even seriously tiresome Seinfeld episodes.

It's Tuesday September the 18 around 6:47AM and

Wes Anderson's AT&T Ads and Other Ads I've Seen

Here is a nice little look at some recent advertising goodishness. I know what you're thinking. "Post something about Vancouver, ahole". Well, when I had moments yesterday where I could have felt like the man in this unfortunate Rock Paper Scissors video and often feel like I have to deal with my own 'send to Mordor' bunker. The question is, do you like your ads directed by famous directors? Featuring insane newly named snackfoods, or in massive 40-story hotel wrappings? Or do you even care? If my comments we're back working I'm sure you'd tell me.

1. I don't really care what Film Drunk says, I really like these AT&T spots directed by Wes Anderson. Okay, yes they are smug and self satisfying. And?

2. I can't even stand football, but since these are directed by Michael Mann and feature music from his Last of the Mohicans which is a rad movie, i will grant you this Nike Football ad is kind of okay.

3. Or you can check out P. Diddy's spot for his new "Unforgettable" fragrance that Best Week Ever describes as "I mean, what could be more unforgettable than being held against a wall in some kind of backstage maintenance hallway and joylessly having your body groped by some champagne-drunken rap guy?"

4. I couldn't find the real spot for this that was playing during the Emmy's last night. But the idea of the Oreo Cakester is completely insane. I mean sure they can't seem to get Iraq 100% right, but for the love of all that is holy they have soft cake Oreos. Amazing. And the fact that they ask you to look for them in the Oreo Aisle is genius. Pure genius.

5. Did Jim Beam really wrap the Rio Hotel in Las Vegas? Yes, Yes they did.

Bonus: Yes, The New iPod Nano ad officially marks the end of Feist being not quite as cool as she was a few months ago.

It's Friday August the 24 around 6:46AM and

Heroes Season 2

Like the rest of the geeks, I can't wait to watch the second season of Heroes, but this promo is just weird. And not good wierd either.

It's Tuesday August the 21 around 9:43AM and

They're not decisions, They're surprises

Dear Spencer Pratt. You are a ridiculous jerk. This is exactly why nice guys always finish last. [Gawker]

It's Tuesday August the 21 around 7:09AM and

Breakfast Video, Dawson's Creek Style

You need to forward this clip 56 seconds ahead. But this was exactly what I experienced when I turned on the TV this morning pre-coffee. I thought I was dreaming. This is the most ridiculous sequence from Dawson's Creek, ever. Just the idea of them dancing, making pancakes, and throwing around biscuits like some bad homage to The Big Chill. Joey Poter judges.

It's Tuesday August the 21 around 7:04AM and

Who Will Jack Bauer Torture this season?

Yesterday. Heroes gets Kristen Bell on board. Today's TV news, not so amazing. I doubt very much that bringing on Janeane Garofalo will help 24 recover from last season's attack of the lame. But maybe if Jack gets to torture her I could get behind this. [BuzzSugar]

It's Monday August the 20 around 8:12AM and

Veronica Mars Herofied

Could Heroes get any better for season 2? Well, yeah, duh. Especially when Kristen Bell joins the cast for several episodes in October. Had to post this, sorry.