I think it is pretty hilarious that Michael Scott called Vancouver last night on The Office if only to cancel his trip to the Olympics here. Don't worry, he paid his cancellation fee.
Ugh. It's 11:15. The Olympic Torch was inside our office, and everyone spent 10 minutes holding it, trying to eat it, taking photos of it, then twittering about it. I'm sure those will be all keepsakes in 10 minutes. Or not. So here is the Airwolf intro, which is way cooler than the lametorch. Unless Steve Nash runs in here with the torch or someone equally famous, I could actually care less. You can quote me on that.
Vancouverite Jessica Lowndes back working on the set of 90210 (Via and more at Moe Jackson and Celebrity Gossip and Daily Fill) Shame about those flats. Girl needs some heels. But not bad for a Megan Fox knockoff right? Advantage Vancouver.
Dear CTV, I don't believe. In fact I believe your ads asking us to do so are terrible. It's about sport right? The closer we get to the games the less we see the actual stars of the show. What gives? Even after ditching that smug bore of a voice in Donald Sutherland, you replace them with Bill "Helmet Hair" Good and the guy who lit the rings in Richmond? I'm sure hearing Tamara Taggert saying, "It's going to be the BEST" really grabs people, but take a lesson from what gets people more pumped and see how to do an Olympic sporting event ad:
Of course, you could see it on the BBC and 2010 is about an animated Inuit hockey goalie/snowboarder/skeleton riding dude "curl fighting" a Grizzly bear. Which is just plain rad. I most definitely believe this.
First let me say that I could really use a Nerd Herd guy or Geek Squad person, stat. My whole mac is full. I found the flaw in the back up that is Time Machine. How do you time machine, and clean out your drive? They are at odds from one another, non? When is Mac going to manage your backups for you?
At any rate, count on more Kristin Kreuk in the coming few weeks on Chuck, and here on the The Vancouverite. Which is a quick market correction for the lack of Kristin Kreuk posts on this blog previously. My apologies for the oversight, but to be fair she kind of flies under the radar and is kind of a bore on Smallville.
And speaking of the amazingness of the Intertoobs, how about the crash of Lost's Flight 815 in real time, 24 style? Can't wait for the season premiere. Especially if NBC has started doing things clip shows, on The Office tonight. It is par for the course for the network capable of losing hundreds of millions.
Can we just appreciate for 1 minute 15 seconds that the Internet is just pure awesome? I mean, we get shot for shot remakes of the credit sequence to Perfect Strangers, but set in Seattle. Hello! Can somebody please do this in Vancouver, stat. (Via Best Week Ever)
I think that Conan's "crazy expensive" comedy bits are pretty awesome. I mean a Bugatti Veyron, dressed up like a mouse, with the Rolling Stones' “Satisfaction” rocking in the back. I really hope FOX lets him continue this. And sounds like that can happen as early as September since he has settled with NBC for a reported $45 million. Not a bad severance package.
Top ten things at last night's Golden Globe award show:
10. Rickey Gervais drinking pints while hosting and being awesome, like calling Mel Gibson a drunk.
9. NBC was the butt of 1 out of 3 jokes. Awkward.
8. James Cameron's Prince Valiant hair. Can we special effect that out for the Oscars please. PS: It won best picture. Aghhh.
7. Two words: Christina Hendricks.
6. I still can't believe Pacey Whitter is dating Diane Kruger. As if.
5. The Hangover won best comedy/musical picture. And Mike Tyson was there. Awesome.
4. Jeff Bridges is still the dude. And he abides.
3. That Glee beat 30 Rock for best comedy show. Maybe because it's not as funny anymore.
2. Robert Downey Jr's acceptance speech
1. Anna Paquin's dress. (see above) Thankfully there was a cameraman dedicated to the True Blood stars chestal area. Close 2nd to Olivia Wilde, Marion Cotillard, and Kate Winslet.
How meta, Jimmy Kimmel goes on Jay Leno show, eviscerates him publicly, uproarious laughter ensues. Seems to be that this late night war is really just the "New Coke" of ratings ponzi schemes. Somehow I think in the end, NBC isn't that smart, and will lose. Can't wait to watch Conan on Fox.
"So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how much I enjoy hosting this program and what an enormous personal disappointment it is for me to consider losing it. My staff and I have worked unbelievably hard and we are very proud of our contribution to the legacy of The Tonight Show. But I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is its destruction. Some people will make the argument that with DVRs and the Internet a time slot doesn't matter. But with the Tonight Show, I believe nothing could matter more."
It's the 1996 TV movie, The Late Shift, all over again, and Jay is still the unlikeable one. The Tag line was, "Two heads fighting for the late night crown - One head's gotta roll." Some things never change.
I'm fairly certain that if Alec Baldwin was on Breakfast Television he wouldn't be trying to pick up like he does at CNBC. That's just how Jack Donaghy rolls, at least according to Gawker.
So today's hot topic: Where is Vancouver's morning Michelle Caruso-Cabrera? I mean really. I know the only people who watch this are shut ins, and those annoying people who like to tell you they don't watch TV and don't have cable. Seriously City TV would it kill you to hire some news babes? Really? Case in point none of the personalities working on the show even have wiki entries. Translation: nobody cares. And I know I'm late to the party but did we have to scare Tasha Chui to like Siberia (read: radio in Red Deer?)
And ladies, don't email me to say what beefcakes you think Riaz Meghji, Mark Docherty, Greg Harper, and Thor Diakow are because I will know that you are lying about it, or drunk. Get it done CityTV.
I question the existence of TV channels like TVTropolis. And yet here I am watching a Survivor: All Stars marathon on the channel. But they are playing constant promos for a show called Rescue Ink. Say what?
Let me get this straight. It's a show about a bunch of tough-guy tattooed dudes going around saving cute kittens and puppies? How does something like this even get made? I suppose that answers my first question, it's because there are channels like TVTropolis.
Rescue Ink? There are way too many TV channels. Related, I was watching Much More, which was Much More Music at one time, but since it rarely, plays actual music, it's just Much More now. So they can play, Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew, Gene Simmons, I want to work for Diddy, and whatever else they want, just very few music videos. Although I can't imagine 24-7 music videos anymore either - that ship has sailed hasn't it?
But now there is more than just Much Music, there's Much More, Much Vibe, Much Loud, Much More Retro, and Punch Much. Or, as I like to call it, overkill.
Absolutely have no clue what they are talking about, or what the ad is about, but the combination of Quentin Tarantino, a talking dog and some sort of dog shaped speaker phone is like finding a Billy Ripken error card in a pack of 1989 Fleer Baseball Cards. Rare indeed. Can we get a cable channel that plays nothing but Japanese ads? Thank you very much.
You have to wait until March 2010, but our long national nightmare is over as Scarecrow and Mrs. King season one will FINALLY be on DVD. 1983 called to tell you how ridiculous and awesome it was then. Kate Jackson, hello! Phew.
Can't wait for the DVD of Family Guy's Blue Harvest follow up and Empire Strikes Back parody show. Comes out December 22. Love the "Robot Camels" comment and when one of them gets hurt.
1. Danny Devito, naked.
2. Lots of Mike Schmidt references
3. Even more Von Hayes references.
4. Lots of Fred Savage in the extras.
5. Claymation Musical Ending. Enough Said.
this is the kind of Tourism Advertising British Columbia should be doing during the Olympics. Extreme! "So, if you've been looking for a place with low ceilings, disgusting food and annoying retirees, but you're tired of Florida, come watch the days go by on Dagobah" Dago-Booyah! (Via Ad Freak)
New Moon. New Moon. New Moon damn it. Curse people magazine and their Sexiest Man of the Year issue where RPattz was robbed, or something. Roger Ebert savaged it in his review this week, "“\Sitting through this experience is like driving a pickup in low gear though a sullen sea of Brylcreem." I'm sure this won't stop the Twihards from melting down all weekend. Don't forget your cheap RPattz approved meatballs at Glowbal nerds.
Speaking of things to look at, check out the Scout Boutique Fashion Show tomorrow will feature Mad Men inspired pin-up designs by Stop Staring and holiday wear by local designer Sweet Soul. (152 East 8th Avenue - right off of Main Street). We're sending our fashionista to cover this, so stay tuned.
SATURDAY
Savage Love author Dan Savage is playing the Chan Centre for the Performing Arts (8pm, Tix $25). The narcissist in you can submit questions in advance for additional humiliation when asking those "where do babies come from" stupid questions. it's like an evening with Kevin Smith but not as fun and kind of insulting. What fun.
Something tells me that a bottle of Russian Stoly Vodka (certainly not that lame Swedish Absolute) and a couple hours at the Vancouver Russian Community Centre Christmas Bazaar (11-5pm, Tix $1) stuffing your face would be satisfying. Once you are wasted follow that up with a trip to a real life Etsy show at Cambrian Hall (215 East 17th, 11-5PM, $2) or save yourself the trouble and just get online and look at the wares of Regretsy home of the "Handmade: It looks like you made it with your feet" art.
SUNDAY
Is ZZ Top really playing the Abbotsford Entertainment and Sports Centre? Yes, yes they are. (Doors 6:30, Show 7:30, Tix, $85/75) Or if the memories of Back to the Future III aren't enough, there is always the East Side Culture Crawl. If you have an aversion to seeing artists in their natural environment, don't look them in their eyes.
Go Meat! Might as well make this a three-pack of ad posts on a night where Sterling Cooper Draper & Price is born. Which I hope means the beginning of even more agency stuff in season 4. I mean as long as Joan is back in the fold, do you really care about the Betty and Don divorce drama? I guess this opens the door to Sal coming back, but what about young beatnik Kinsey?
Anyway, this is what Best Week Ever calls the, "Saw VII of Smoked Sausage Ads."
FRIDAY
Cinephiles can check out the Vancouver Asian Film Festival all weekend. I almost deleted this since trying to find anything about these films seemingly involved downloading a 44 page PDF. I hate PDFs when I just want the information on the FILMS! (turns out the navigation labeled "Festival" meant "Films")
Try shorts like Bamboozle: "When Katie, a professional mascot loses the head to her panda costume, she consequently loses her job, and now possibly her life!" Or Vagina Vacation: "After having her 18th child Nicole is ready to have another one right away. However her Vagina is not, and takes off on vacation!" But seriously, I hear White on Rice is pretty good. And any write up for a movie named The People I've Slept With suggests it is like a mixture of, "Sex and the City with Will & Grace in a progressive sex comedy about a carnally adventurous Asian American woman who
Or you could just see something like The Men Who Stare At Goats and actually enjoy yourself. Whatever.
How do you decide between Soul Asylum in Coquitlam (Red Robinson Show Theatre) and Chantel Kreviazuk in Richmond (River Rock)?
How do you decide between Neil Sedaka in Richmond (River Rock) and Chantel Kreviazuk in Coquitlam (Red Robinson Show Theatre)? Sedaka's Laughter in the Rain is perfect for this dreary day.
SUNDAY
Four words: David Foster And Friends. End of story. Game. Set. Match. (GM Place) The composer of the Expo Theme, St. Elmo's Fire, and more comes to GM Place to soft-rock out with friends like Philip Bailey from Earth, Wind & Fire.
THE VANCOUVERITE PICK: MAD MEN SEASON FINALE
Or you could stay home and catch the season finale (Title: Shut the Door. Have a Seat. Trailer here) of Mad Men. What will happen to Sterling Cooper? Another Takeover? Will Betty really leave Don? Will he go back to the teacher? Will Peggy stop grossing us out with Duck? Will Roger finally dump that drunk Jane? Will he get Joan back to to SC? Will Connie Hilton predict his grand daughter fame whoring? Will Kinsey shave his beard? Will Sal come back? Will Pete go postal? More importantly what will Don be wearing?
Well, after this I know what I'm doing next week with my random vacation days. An It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Marathon. Especially after this: Charlie Shows His Dance Moves
Friday
Kick off your 3-martini Friday lunch in style. 11:30 AM at the Hyatt Regency (655 Burrard St) you can go deep inside the vast right wing conspiracy and do lunch at the Fraser Institute. It's a lively discussion on how awesome the new HST Tax is. Enjoy a table for $650 or a seat for $65 while lighting cigars with $100 bills y'all.
Friday is also a bit of throwbacker. You got Blue Oyster Cult at Red Robinson Show Theatre (Boulevard Casino). All you need to know about Blue Oyster Cult I learned from Fast Times at Ridgemont High. And over at the Commodore, Collective Soul the band from the early 90's is back. I mean do you even remember Shine? That was 1993 friends. Wow. And I think they still have that terrible hair.
Lastly, you could escape from all of these with Grape Expectations. This is the adult version of Science World. Wine + Science = Fun! (7-10 pm)
Saturday
Yaletown might still be busy with Taste of Yaletown. Over 20 of Yaletown's joints are still offering special three-course tasting menus for set prices of $25, $35 and $45. Make it drinking game: every time you see small dogs, Lululemon pants, or Ed Hardy shirts you do a shot. Repeat.
But then you could get out of Yaletown and go suburban and see Bob Saget at the Red Robinson Show Theatre. Um, awesome. And maybe if you are opting for the Sagat, you might want to just wait for the banner to be dropped on the Cambie St. Bridge for the Bridge to a Cool Planet enviro-stunt (seemed to have lost the link, too bad). Save on Foods (or Whole Foods for the organic jerks) is just up the street for a dozen of eggs to throw at them for closing the bridge. What for, it might be anyone who follows this part of the bridge shut down, "You can also dress up as your favourite endangered species." Fire away!
Sunday
If you're recovering from the Saturday, you could catch brunch and then rock over the 5th Avenue Cinemas and see Audrey Tatou in Coco Avant Chanel (2110 Burrard at W. 5th)
So i'm watching MTV Canada's new reality show, Peak Season tonight. The 10-episode show filmed in the home of the Olympics at Whistler is The Hills mixed with more Real World and at least 50% less reality. Anything with cameras makes it less real, so I'm not buying much of reality. As a huge fan of MTV-fakery I'm intrigued, kind of. But god do I hate skiing. Let's see how the first two episodes play out tonight:
5. Setting a sexy reality show in the peak season of winter means lots of jackets. Lots of toques. And scarves. Which isn't sexy. Especially all the toques. And snow pants are just not sexy. They make everyone look frumpy.
4. How come there aren't more babes on this show? I know LC was never like Elle Macpherson or whomever, but you can't walk 100 feet in Vancouver/Whistler without seeing a model-looking person. I guess that's why the one guy left his girl at one of the bars. 4b. And for the record, these guys are simply poor imitations of Spencer Pratt. This show needs a real villain. (PS: it's not you Ian)
3. Wait, they are filming scenes at the Earl's? OMG. It's like Yaletown but with jackets and snow. As if.
2. Too much talk of Facebook. Hope Zuckerberg is getting a check from MTV. Enough. Do people really talk about Facebooking that much?
1. Come on. They have real jobs? Get these kids some fake internships or something stat. Real jobs are nuts. And lose the guys. I have no patience for their crap. PS: Sonya the boss at The New Amsterdam Pub was no Kelly Cutrone (not crazy enough). Figure firing the girl who is on TV working at your bar is a bad business decision.
This is Missy Peregrym. You might remember her from such teen movies as 2006's gymnastics movie Stick it and stints in Heroes. But we don't watch that anymore. She was born in Quebec actually, but is a Surrey girl after growing up here. She's a Vancouver girl now, and happens to be dating NFL quarterback Ben Roethlisberger.
She was in the locally shot now gone Reaper. But a new show is about to come to ABC called Copper. Wow, a Cop show. Finally! According to Hollywood North Report, "Copper' is a workplace drama about five young rookie cops just out of the police academy. They have bonded together, fought together, drank together, worked together and slept together. Now they're on the job together."
You had me at drinking and sleeping together. Sort of.
I'm gonna give Vancouverite Cobie Smulders a pass, like a D- for tonight's season premiere of How I Met Your Mother. Enough with the hockey references already and her wearing the Vancouver Canucks jerseys. I get it, she's Canadian, but putting a fine woman like Smulders in a hockey jersey is just bad TV. Get with the program CBS. Please also see above. At least shes from here.
The episode was still good. Loved the use of Gremlins as in why girlfriends are like Gremlins tonight. Never get them wet.
1. Never get them wet — don’t let her take a shower at your place
2. Keep them away from sunlight — never see them during the day
3. Never feed them after midnght — she doesn’t sleep over and you don’t have breakfast with her — ever
Opening up the Thursday premiere of Vancouver shot The Vampire Diaries was Vancouver born bombshell Cindy Busby. Think of Vampire Diaries as Twilight with more blood and sex, and crossed with a bite-y Dawson's Creek which is a pretty good thing. She's also in the CBC show Heartland, and obviously the next direct to DVD and also shot here American Pie movie.
In her own words, "I got to realize a life long dream of being in a Vampire project. This week I shot some scenes in the new CW pilot called “Vampire Diaries” produced by the legendary Kevin Willaimson! I was SOOO excited to meet and work with him. Mr. Williamson also gave me the best compliment… after hearing my famous scream, he said that I reminded him of a young Jamie Lee Curtis…. holy smokes, my jaw dropped! Everyone on the set was amazing and friendly and extremely professional, which is always such an enjoyable experience!"
Sure TV is back this week. But there won't be a new Lost episode until the new year. Torture. Saw this poster for what a Locke-centric show/film would look like. (via FFFFound)
Or as Best Week Ever put it: "On one hand, [$139.99] seems like a lot to pay for anything, even if it is a solid 74 hours of wholesome lesson-teaching and babies saying darned things, but on the other hand…
Kind of think Anderson Cooper got just a bit awesome right now. He on Regis's show and asks Jillian Harris - our own Bachelorette - the one, come on, the only, question anybody gives a crap about. How many guys did she sleep with anyway? (Via Gawker)
Bonus points for liberal use of the term "canoodling". Oh, Jillian you little minx.
Bless City TV for playing USA's Royal Pains at 9 on Sundays. Nice 2nd hour of prime time after True Blood. Kind of ridiculous, but like candy. Delicious sugary candy.
Absolutely love watching Buffy kick Robert Pattison's ass. You will too. Now how about a Buffy-Twilight-True Blood mash up. I'd do it myself, but I'm lazy, and you knew that already. Besides who would you root for - I mean besides dreamboat Robby Pattison getting a stake in his chest. Eric vs Buffy? Oh My.
Love that the Season finale of Chuck featured a whole number with Mr. Roboto. Not to mention Chevy Chase. Awesome. You can never go wrong with Styx. EVER. See also their version of Africa. Save Chuck!
Slowly starting to think about actually blogging again. And watching this blast from the past - the opening of an episode of That's Incredible - makes you know that they just don't make them like this anymore. But they should.
Pretty sure my friend Anthony and I saw Evangeline Lilly walking in Yaletown today, right out front of Glowbal. Either that or it was a more than reasonable facsimile or maybe a clone. She was very smiley. And tiny. Her huge iced Starbucks was very Hollywood. Maybe she was all smiles because she isn't leaving Lost. Was it her? I'm not sure. {IO9 and Entertainment Weekly]
In absolute heaven. Watching back to back episodes of 24 (God bless you PVR). I'm kind of thinking this new girl, Renee Walker (Annie Wersching), on 24 is pretty awesome. Sure, she's not as reckless as Jack, and looks like she feels bad and it is only episode 10 of 24, but she did just stand him down at gun point. And then slapped him in the face.
1. As if Ford spook cars can be driven like Jack drives them. If they were that good, would Detroit need a bailout? Come on.
2. The hiring practices at the FBI are about lousy as the ones at CTU. Where do they find these people? Who will be the real evil one: Sean, Janis, or Larry. My guess is anyone named Larry. Although Sean's a real dbag, clearly. Seriously.
3. Yay, to Carlo Rota for returning in a scene as Morris.
4. Street side surgery. Oh, Jack, even for you a new low. Love it.
5. Ah, the old, shoot yourself trick. As if. Jack is going to eat Sean.
Finally got to see this week's Lost. The scene with Ben Linus at the church are pretty awesome, and just looking over this amazing picture by Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio and telling the story - and can you wait to see who beat him up. I want to see a whole show of just Ben. Never thought I'd have said that two seasons ago. (Via Suicide Blonde)
House this week was great. I liked: that finally Cameron was actually doing something, I liked that I noticed Wilson had a 1958 Touch of Evil poster in his office (I'd only noticed the Vertigo one before), that 13 is still on the show which is awesome because Olivia Wilde is amazing (No, For realz), although she should dump Foreman, obviously. Okay maybe there is too much baby in the current arc, but House is so grumpy towards it, I'll let it slide.
Blake Lively looked very Serena-ish tonight at the Golden Globes. Do you think there is even a difference between her and her character? I'd enjoy knowing the answer to that. That is all. (Just Jared)
I'm sure the NBC lawyers are already requesting this come down from the Youtubes, but until then, enjoy every last second of this amazing digital short with Neil Patrick Harris. Bravo.
It's been over a year and I still haven't gotten through the DVD of Twin Peaks. We keep getting newer and less taxing DVD's to watch and it keeps going to the bottom of the list. And now on the 2nd season it starts to unravel anyway in terms of making any sense whatsoever. But I do still remember watching that show and the hype around the show's three female leads, Sherilyn Fenn (Audrey Horn), Lara Flynn Boyle (Donna Hayward), and of course Madchen Amick (Shelly Johnson). Amick wasn't as high profile as the other two, and seemed to languish in nowheresville for some time. But In the past few years she has started to be perfectly cast as the cougarish vixen at the ripe age of 38 she has recently been cast excellently on Californication and Gossip Girl, but she has been playing this act up since 1999 in Dawson's Creek and few years after on Gilmore Girls. She seems fun. She's like the new undrunk Heather Locklear. [Check her out on Chelsea Lately]
Here's some things I find interesting about her:
5. She's actually been married to the same guy since 1992. That's monumental in Hollywood, non?
4. And Mother of two? Seriously? Come on.
3. She's a friend to Buffy's Sarah Michelle Geller.
2. That that infamous Rolling Stone Cover from 1990 was the first time non-musicians had been on the cover. And now the magazine is creepily regular sized. Coincidence?
1. I'd forgotten that she was an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation in season 2.
I was introduced to Banacek a little while ago. Frankly I need this on DVD, like now. Time for some Amazon orders! Seriously, this dude is on fire. And, sweet niblets, the plot was amazing:
"Thomas Banacek is a clever and well-to-do insurance investigator living in Boston. He makes good money by solving the most intricate and unusual mysteries, and is very proud of his Polish heritage. His contacts include his street-smart chauffeur Jay and British bookstore owner Felix."
Gazillionaire Seth McFarland has unleashed his funny on the internets, with his Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy! and its sponsored by Burger King. You'd think with all his money and The King's help his website could work faster. Do you really need the curtains? Yeesh. Good thing he has the content on youtube as well.
1. Um. How can I say this delicately. You poor bastards. Whoever is leading/doing the opening ceremony to the 2010 Vancouver games should just quit now. You will be remembered forever as a complete failure. Just stop. Now. Unless this fireworks fiasco story is remembered. But really who cares if some of the fireworks were digitally enhanced. Its hopeless.
2. More Damning Evidence, The Opening Ceremony Budget breakdown: In Beijing: $100 million. Set for Vancouver, well we've budgeted $58 Million for all ceremonies. Thanks, China. Overachievers.
5. Worst. Olympic. Stadium. Ever. Unless: We Hire Michael Bay, Quentin Tarantino, James Cameron, and possibly Nigel Lythgoe from So you think you can Dance and give them $200 million and you might have a chance. And of course, at the end, they simple blow BC Place sky high after a giant dance number. Better start sourcing like 5,000 drummers.
Not gonna lie, there was a moment today at work as we crowded around a monitor to watch the 1963 cartoon Banty Raids featuring Foghorn Leghorn and a very "horny hipster rooster" that i was like, did that just really happen? Kind of awesome. Oh Merrie Melodies!
Can I just say, thank the maker for Mad Men Season 2 starting last night? I was like resorting to watching things like Greatest American Dog and the Brit-Hills, "Living on the Edge". As a side note, do they really need to subtitle it? That's kind of all sorts of ridiculousness. The fact that they translated the awkwardness of Lauren Conrad so perfectly is rad. Lets just say that this premiere coupled with the news that Sam Rami is going to do Evil Dead 4 plus season 4's trailer for The Hills kind of ruled.
Anyway, the season premiere, "For Those Who Think Young", didn't disappoint as the rush is on to think and create younger. I just wish Don Draper didn't make creative look so damned easy. (Watch the episode trailer here.) I only mention it really, to include a quote from Slate's Troy Patterson who writes, "Roasting this chestnut of theme, the show insists upon a seriousness that it sometimes even earns. It can resemble a tragic (or at least melodramatic) version of The Office from some angles, just as Hamm can—when facing the camera straight on and making a hyperbolically flat expression—look oddly similar to Steve Carell."
Thank baby Jesus. On Sunday Big Brother is back. That means, finally, three more nights of something on TV. Okay, for sure Hell's Kitchen was on tonight, and yes, I watched Top Chef (all hail Padma Lakshmi). But it's pretty bad when you end up watching drunk Hasslehoff on America's Got Talent.
Anyways, Dlisted breaks down what to expect, "CBS unveiled the cast of dick bags this morning. There's a gay cowboy, a blonde slut and some douche named Memphis." Furthermore, "I have already found my favorite. His name is Jerry and he's a real-life great pepaw from Texas! 75-year-old Jerry loses some points because in his bio he doesn't mention Werther's original, Metamucil or warm compresses. That being said, Grand Pepaw Jerry is going to win this bitch. Trust this."
Not sure Jerry is my horse in this race, but quite frankly how can you decide prior to episode 1 anyway?
Piling on to the Lasagna Cat phenomenon that is sweeping the tubes. This is kind of what the internets was invented for: grown men reenacting comic strips about a grumpy fat cat. The fact that in this episode Jon decides to grow a mustache followed by a Manic Monday musical blow out...is how you say? Amazing.
Just got around to watching the 2nd episode of CBC's JPod. Yes folks, that is right my favorite proveyor of the smug, Douglas Coupland, has brought his Helvetica loving quirkfest to the mothership. I've watch the pilot and the 2nd episode and here's what you need to know. Oh, and yes, in case you're wondering I've read the book.
The Best of the Worst.
1. Terrible video game graphics. That and some shit awful sound design tip this off as Canadian.
2. Did they deliberately chose the cinematography/lighting/look of the show? Or is this just what a scripted show filmed on a set in Canada has to look like? If so why? It looks better outdoors, but inside looks like a Canadian show. I hate that.
3. Pretty sure tonight they were at After Glow. Can't ever go there again. Douche alerts!
4. Do Coupland's little inane miscellany page filler items that seem questionable in even the books translate into television transition? At all? No. No they do not.
5. Helvetica.
6. The idea of shirtless software developers makes me kind of sick-y.
7. Blatant use of Tragically Hip in the pilot. Is that ironic or just lazy?
8. Canwest calls it (and other new CBC shows) "urbane, ironic and watchable"? Gulp. "the show combines the elements of nerdy Chuck and quirky Weeds." Or is it Weeds and Reaper?
10. Character blogs with not very much in the way of posts. Bless the web marketificationability and the tubes.
The Sort of Bestest Parts
1. It's not Two and A Half Men. I smell an endorsement.
2. Alan Thicke. Amazing, ironic choice, and full of retro-ocity. It's like Jason Seaver went on a twisted bender and started fooling around on Maggie while Boner and Mike watched. Too much? I should have said Ben? Right? He was more impressionable. And have you ever truly lived unless you've seen Thicke in a Nazi uniform? Amazing. PS: Has he aged at all?
Surely this isn't a good sign for 2008. It's like getting an email from future Dwight Schrute, to say nothing of the implications for my resolution to blog more in 2008. Bah:
We've noticed that your productivity has gone way down recently. In fact, in the past three weeks you haven't shown up to work at all. You're a valuable part of Dunder Mifflin Infinity. Without you, DMI wouldn't even exist. That's why we want to make sure that you're not leaving the company for good. If you're taking some personal time off, that's not a problem. Just click on the link below to login and get back to work no later than midnight Thursday, January 10, 2008 so we know you're still with us. All you have to do is earn some SchruteBucks and you'll be reinstated back into your branch immediately. Earning SchruteBucks is as easy as updating your profile, posting a message on your forum or completing a task. Just make sure to stay active at least once every three weeks and you'll never get a notice like this ever again. We've got some really great tasks coming up in the new year and we'd hate for you to miss out on them.
If you truly do wish to leave Dunder Mifflin Infinity, you don't have to do anything. On January 11, 2008 you will be terminated from your branch. Just know that we bid you a fond farewell and we'll miss you. We'd love to have you back at any time.
Seriously, I'm being fired from Dunder Mifflin Infinity? Bastards. 2008 is going to suck. Well, I guess it could be worse. I could be China and see my economy drop 40% overnight (Losing $4 trillion has gotta get someone fired over there.
Tonight's theme as blogging begins to return to normal, is the writer's strike. I mean, during this difficult time, as original scripted television programming comes to a halt, can we not have shows like this I ask you? Fox should be all over this angle quite frankly. Discuss.
I mean, clearly, NBC is totally loving the writer's strike. Clash of the Choirs? Is this for real?
Someone mentioned Twiki from Buck Rogers today. And this Youtube clip entitled, "Happy Birthday Buck - Erin Gray Tight Spandex" more than filled the bill.
Really enjoyed this wacky Family Guy scene. How else to describe what happens when Quagmire gets busy with Marge Simpson. Hilarity, among other outcomes ensues.
Not going to lie. The Unicorn Kingdom Club is partially creepy, partially AMAZING. Seriously, this is ridic.
This one, 'Star Wars Trumpet' was classified as " pretending her trumpet is a laser gun awful" at DataWhat. I couldn't look away.
At some point today I was on Amazon and couldn't believe that on DVD you can get season three of Hardcastle & McCormick. The show intro doesn't even make sense as a show to me anymore? Really the show plot was, "A retired judge and his last defendent follow up on cases that where dismissed due to technicalities." Oh Stephen J. Cannell, you crap genius sir.
Listening to Jamiroquai is like really douchey, right. We all agree. But when it's a killer Korean cover band is it okay? Probably not, but I won't tell.
Like you/me needed one. Things I'm really starting to enjoy about fall. Wait, no, things I'm really starting to enjoy about fall TV.
Chuck. I'm not sure how long I'll watch the show, but the reference to Oceanic 815 as a government secret, the use of Violent Femmes (albeit a cover) music, and I won't beat around the bush on this, but Yvonne Strzechowski. And to clarify, her cover job at the gourmet hot dog joint is pretty funny. Chuck's sister Sarah Lancaster and her ridiculous boyfriend kind of crack me up too.
I'm actually watching all of NBC's Monday night lineup. This wouldn't happen, but when you have pvr you just start recording things, then you use any excuse to watch it. That accounts for Journeyman. I think. Well, that and the pleasant sight of Moon Bloodgood (More at Maxim). Both these two shows work with Heroes because they both look really good, especially Journeyman. PS: the music is great during the trips back to the past, which make me long for a great Scott Bakula show. Oh. Boy. I mean who rocks the Smashing Pumpkins "Today" circa 1993 ever? Although the clearly fake Google search engine on the iPhone is ridic.
And I might as well round up things that while Reaper isn't going to the biggest show ever, or this season even, I'm watching 'cause it's filmed here, the pilot was directed by Kevin Smith, and, well, Missy Peregrym. And why not. Not gonna lie, we called her the local "it" girl April 2006. And we stand by that reco, especially since Stick It was so great, plus she was on Heroes right?
And I'm not going to forget about Heroes. Last week our friend Anthony summed up the first episode like this, "All i'm saying is that Heroes better not suck the lame more than it did this episode. I have much higher expectations from it than i do for a remake of a mediocre series that is shot on West Hastings street and stars a British soap star." Well, let's not be too harsh and compare it to Bionic Woman. He did add, "there was good (3rd world hottie killing people, Suresh infiltrating the company) there was bad (Claire doing her best Buffy imitation, Nathan creepy longshoreman beard) and there was lame. (another flying person, Claires dad at Kinko's, Peter...wait for it...amnesia, and then seeing that Sylar is still alive.)" All good points. So he's not going to be pleased with ehe cherry blossom snow tonight I'm pretty sure. And. Seriously. Good. Ending.
I don't know what made me think of Scarecrow and Mrs. King and the opening sequence, perhaps it was a brief Kate Jackson flash. Whatever. How great was that show?
I'm not sure how pitching Chris Haddock's Intelligence opposite Heroes on Monday nights starting tonight can be a good thing, but I'm sure the Mother Ship knows what they are doing. Intelligence is back for what they are calling, "More sex, drugs, and espionage" in another 12 episodes and a sophomore effort. When we last saw our friendly neighborhood drug dealer Jimmy "The Weed King" Reardon, he was on his way to Seattle to be lured into the hands of a waiting DEA trap, while his friend in the high place of Canadian intelligence, Mary Spalding, had her hands just as full with Americans too as she climbs the CSIS ladder and deals with a mole.
The second season begins on the edge of those dual disasters and promises to keep a steady pace. Of course this means that Reardon and Spalding will be pushed closer and closer together. The show is still the best scripted thing on Canadian TV, and looks dirty good as always. My only complaint is sometimes, rarely, it does have that Canadian feel - the full strip club that is quiet enough to have a whispered conversation in, but whatever.
A couple of things to look out for this season besides more action at the Chickadee. Can you get enough of a stripper named Sweet? Come on! It's the feel good story of the year. One thing I enjoyed about the first two episodes of this new season has been the pervy inspector General of CSIS who seems like a sneaky spy version of Bloc Leader Gilles Duceppe crossed with a tiny bit of Liberal Leader Stephane Dion. Which is pretty great. And, having the twenty-one year old Lorna (Leela Savasta), Raoul's niece, which is nice - hopefully nice enough for Jimmy to finally call things off with his cokehead of a wife. Oh, and let's not forget how Matt Frewer has mastered the fine art of douche bag intelligence guy.
I think today needs musical numbers. It's been a long week. Friday's first video from the Buffy musical, "I'll Never Tell." Please tell me that this will someday play interactively on a big screen here in Vancouver?
And if you're going to have an great musical number, can Woody Allen + Ed Norton doing "My Baby Just Cares For Me" be a bad idea?
And things are better in threes. Frank Sinatra and Bing Crosby in High Society singing "Did you ever?" Alternately you could check out "Who Wants to be a Millionaire."
Smallville premiered its new season last night and it ended with a look at Super Girl. Never really watched this show before, apparently it's filmed here. Does that even matter? Meanwhile, Erica Durance, aka Lois Lane graces the sleazy cover of Maxim. I can see why I should care now.
*The Office was amazing. But you know that already I'm sure. Michael Scott ran his car into Meredith, Dwight killed Angela's cat Sprinkles, and Pam and Jim are dating. Ryan rocked a killer beard now that he is a wunderkind.
*I told my friend Anthony today about my new friend in Gossip Girl, Blair. He said, "yeah, she's cute for a 40 year old. I had to dump it for my schedule." FYI: Dude. she's 21. Jerk.
*Couldn't sleep last night, again, and watched Life. This is the NBC show, after Bionic Woman, described pretty amazingly by a commentator at IMDB as, "The Gregory House of Cop World." It stars Damian Lewis, who was pretty awesome in Band of Brothers. He's pretty great with the whole wrongly accused I have millions but no furniture, hate cops but eat excessive fruits, and am trying to have fun with life kind of vibe. And honestly, Sarah Shahi , must I say more? The show is on for next week. Damn it.
I tried out Bionic Woman tonight. You know props out to Vancouver and all. Sigh. I wish I could just leave it at that. This show is no Heroes was be better. I made it past the teaser open only after massive car crash scene, since Jamie Sommers seems kind of not very interesting to watch. I'm so over the secret government agencies. And for reals, how do you cast a way better badee in Katee Sackhoff than the weak 'Bionic Woman', Jamie is so dead if they want to get past episode 12. Fine, fine, she runs like a cheetah and it's all about girl power.
But I did learn some things watching some premiere week TV last night. Like the fact that my PVR should have melted down with all the over-the-top recording the past two days. Please can it rain this weekend so I can catch up? I'm pathetic.
The kids on Gossip Girl aren't 30-year old actresses like I thought after episode one. phew! PS: Love Blair Waldorf, er, Leighton Meester. This show had me at, "Some may call this a fustercluck, but on the Upper East Side we call it Sunday afternoon."
The opening of this promo for next week's premiere of 30 Rock is pretty awesome. Mostly because I just love the idea of Jack Donaghy's summer shows "America's Next Top Pirate", "Are You Stronger Than a Dog", "Milf Island" (25 Super-hot moms, 50 8-grade boys, no rules).
I think being able to do a 60-min episode devoted to the singular parody of Star Wars is a pretty amazing feat for Family Guy. Considering they were canceled and everything.
It's a week before it even premieres, but Bionic Woman out and about in Vancouver filming upcoming episodes. Perhaps you can grab a sneak peak of Michelle Ryan as they film along the 400 block of West Pender and Hastings today. That would be sweet. This is just a lame excuse to post something about this show.
Here is a nice little look at some recent advertising goodishness. I know what you're thinking. "Post something about Vancouver, ahole". Well, when I had moments yesterday where I could have felt like the man in this unfortunate Rock Paper Scissors video and often feel like I have to deal with my own 'send to Mordor' bunker. The question is, do you like your ads directed by famous directors? Featuring insane newly named snackfoods, or in massive 40-story hotel wrappings? Or do you even care? If my comments we're back working I'm sure you'd tell me.
2. I can't even stand football, but since these are directed by Michael Mann and feature music from his Last of the Mohicans which is a rad movie, i will grant you this Nike Football ad is kind of okay.
3. Or you can check out P. Diddy's spot for his new "Unforgettable" fragrance that Best Week Ever describes as "I mean, what could be more unforgettable than being held against a wall in some kind of backstage maintenance hallway and joylessly having your body groped by some champagne-drunken rap guy?"
4. I couldn't find the real spot for this that was playing during the Emmy's last night. But the idea of the Oreo Cakester is completely insane. I mean sure they can't seem to get Iraq 100% right, but for the love of all that is holy they have soft cake Oreos. Amazing. And the fact that they ask you to look for them in the Oreo Aisle is genius. Pure genius.
You need to forward this clip 56 seconds ahead. But this was exactly what I experienced when I turned on the TV this morning pre-coffee. I thought I was dreaming. This is the most ridiculous sequence from Dawson's Creek, ever. Just the idea of them dancing, making pancakes, and throwing around biscuits like some bad homage to The Big Chill. Joey Poter judges.
Yesterday. Heroes gets Kristen Bell on board. Today's TV news, not so amazing. I doubt very much that bringing on Janeane Garofalo will help 24 recover from last season's attack of the lame. But maybe if Jack gets to torture her I could get behind this. [BuzzSugar]