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It's Sunday May the 27 around 7:22PM and

Notes From Toronto

I was in Toronto for nearly a week, which explains the distinct lack of posts around here. Whatcha gonna do? So here are some thoughts from my trip (I was working mostly) while I attempt to catch up with all things Vancouver and Lindsay Lohan.

1. Looks like Vancouver doesn't have the monopoly on ridiculous condo developments. I came across "Festival Tower" which promises buyers a world first, "one part condo, one part film festival." Don't mind the creepy girl wrapped in film stock. I don't know why this would be desireable at all - but the promise of "the world's most unique condo! Where film and a fabulous lifestyle meet" is completely hilarious. I guess not as bad as a creepy Madonna pushed building like this. Okay, she beats this Pomaria video.

2. Confirmed. Tim Horton's coffee really is just black tap water and tastes only of sugar and cream if you order a "double double". There is no way an actual coffee bean was harmed in the making of thier coffee. How does this company stay in business serving this crap? Wake up Ontario!

3. I heard from reliable sources that there are only 4 restaurants in the city. Okay maybe this is not true...

4. I'm a total jerk. So, it would be perfect to be at Irie food joint. Pretty ridiculous jerk chicken wings and mashed potatoes with corn and jerk gravy.

5. Three words: Hot. Sweaty. City.

6. There is a waitress at the Queen's Head pub that reminds me of Lilly Allen (looked like her, dressed like her, and talked like her). I gave this shaddy little pub a D- for food but an A for her, especially when she said, "the chef is terrible." And he was! So cute and bitchy. Love it. And then I kind of moved on to Kate Nash - another Lilly Allen clone. Watch her Foundations video - the line "you said I must eat so many lemons, cause i am so bitter" is charming.

7. Toronto's Little Italy has the most impressive collection of cement gardens front yards I've ever seen. That is so feaking rad. Take that Al Gore, pave everything! PS and unrelated: Polar Bears are kind of evil.

8. After having a really great dinner at Czehoski - a place I saw on Opening Soon like two years ago- i felt smug. It's kind of like eating in a butcher shop turned into a loud club. But the food was good (Lamb confit - are you nuts?). Discoveries: Sapporo beer cans are made of 12-inch steel, clearly. Lilly Pilly Sauvignon Blanc is pretty drinkable. This is a 2-cholcolate mousse kind of a place. Table next door quote, "Get my lawyer on the phone" sounded pretty outrageous for 11 pm fellas. Morris (Carlo Rota) from 24 was standing outside with two really good looking girls but no Chloe. Final answer: Four and a 1/2 smuggies out of five.

9. There was a girl, all dolled up in her lululemon uniform, on the plane who had her yappy little dog. The dog whined like a baby. Gross. Um, you were on West Jet, honey, you're not Paris Hilton.

10. Street cars are completely gross. Not as gross as the Labatt Blue at the Horsheshoe mind you.